Got it Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Hasn't really said except she goes out a lot and he's on his own most weekends. So I suppose distant? No kids. Regardless, even if he was telling the truth and if he was genuinely interested in me, I'd probably only be a 'stepping stone' to tide him over until the separation and then he'll want to go out and sow his wild oats. There are so many stages for a person who is separating to go through until they are really emotionally free and know what they want. I'd be very doubtful of anyone in his situation. This I don't agree with. While some will feel this need not everyone will. It doesn't mean that the transition is a pain less one but doesn't mean there is a need to sow one's oats. Neither myself, as a MOW, or my MM, felt that need. Link to post Share on other sites
Redheaded Mistress Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Hasn't really said except she goes out a lot and he's on his own most weekends. So I suppose distant? No kids. Any chance he'd let you verify with the wife, even passively, like say... Meeting for a date at his house? Regardless, even if he was telling the truth and if he was genuinely interested in me, I'd probably only be a 'stepping stone' to tide him over until the separation and then he'll want to go out and sow his wild oats. There are so many stages for a person who is separating to go through until they are really emotionally free and know what they want. I'd be very doubtful of anyone in his situation. I'd say to not to pursue the relationship then, not because of him, but because of you. You can't walk into a relationship thinking the person you're seeing will screw you over sooner or later. If you're uncomfortable with his situation (and you're not wrong to be uncomfortable), then let it/him go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SunshineToday Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I didn't ask for proof, but I didn't really need it. I knew that what he was saying about his marriage was true, and I'd heard her say the same and worse. The rocky state of their marriage wasn't a secret. It is beyond weird to me how many OW say they know the wife or wife's friends enough to get info from the wife that there is no sex. I have a lot of friends. None of my friends is ever just saying, we don't have sex! Never. To me anyhow. I didn't think most people put that out there so casually. And my firm belief is that if they are living under the same roof-they are having sex!! Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 It is beyond weird to me how many OW say they know the wife or wife's friends enough to get info from the wife that there is no sex. I have a lot of friends. None of my friends is ever just saying, we don't have sex! Never. To me anyhow. I didn't think most people put that out there so casually. And my firm belief is that if they are living under the same roof-they are having sex!! I don't doubt my exMM was having sex with his W although he spent a lot of time claiming otherwise. However...I was once a married woman and went through a LONG sexless period...like almost 2 years and I most certainly DID talk about this issue with my girlfriends. And many of them could relate...so not all married couples are keeping the home fires burning, just saying... Link to post Share on other sites
Redheaded Mistress Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 It is beyond weird to me how many OW say they know the wife or wife's friends enough to get info from the wife that there is no sex. I have a lot of friends. None of my friends is ever just saying, we don't have sex! Never. To me anyhow. I didn't think most people put that out there so casually. And my firm belief is that if they are living under the same roof-they are having sex!! I was talking more about marital problems than sex life, but one of the many things his ex-wife shared freely was how active (and not active) their sex life was or wasn't before the affair. During the affair, she didn't share any negative information about their marriage (or if she did, not as freely as before), but I knew from him what was going on. As I said, because neither of us are dishonest people despite having an affair, so if he said something was or wasn't happening, whatever his answer was was the truth. Ultimately, I think it depends on the person and the relationship. In my first marriage, I was freer with information on our sex life than I am now. I'm sure that means everybody thinks we're not having sex, but it's just that the relationship is different and I don't feel the need to broadcast it. Link to post Share on other sites
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