Our Generations View of Romantic Prospects

[Mysterio]

For some reason. Since the 80's or even the 90's. It seems like a lot of us under the age of 60 have a very hard view of dating for a life partner and marriage etc.

 

Its like we really have a hard time finding someone that tics off all the boxes in our head of being a great mate. Be it leading to marriage or not.

 

Why do you think that is. Is our social media brian washing us to think that we actually need the perfect mate. Either through TV/Movies/Romance novels/

 

What do you think you need in a mate to keep you going strong. If you are attached, what do you think is the main ingreedient that keep you together?

 

For me off the top of my head being single. I think that the only way things would work for me with woman for being a life mate is that she needs to look at me in a romantic way most of the time. That means my pressence turns her on and she only sees me as a BF and not friend. We need to be insynch for the most part. Lots of affection and interesting conversations and laughs.

[Weezy1973]

It's because there are so many more choices these days - not only in terms of potential mates - but also in terms of potential life goals/plans.

 

With the "over 60" set, basically it was just understood that you would get married and have a family. That's what everybody did, and your life was designed with that in mind. Men would work jobs they hated, just to make enough money to support their families, and women would give up their educations or careers to stay at home and raise the kids.

 

Nowadays, anything goes. You can want to get married or never get married. Have kids or don't have kids. Spend your 20s traveling and your 30s building a career before you even think about getting married.

 

There are also a lot of studies that show that the more choices one has, the harder it is to choose. I think a lot of people are "commitment phobic" for that very reason - what if they choose "wrong"? What if they choose the wrong partner? What if they choose the wrong life (i.e. one that isn't authentic to themselves)?

[irc333]

It's because there are so many more choices these days - not only in terms of potential mates - but also in terms of potential life goals/plans.

 

Exactly. People have too many choices and it's more of a "Kid in the candy store" mentality, they cannot stick to one decision once they make one because something better always comes along.

 

In our parents generation, they were limited to who they encountered with in person, through church, work, locals in the neighborhood, and that's pretty much it.

 

Just Google "The Husband Store" and you'll see.

[BlueIris]

There are also a lot of studies that show that the more choices one has, the harder it is to choose. I think a lot of people are "commitment phobic" for that very reason - what if they choose "wrong"? What if they choose the wrong partner? What if they choose the wrong life (i.e. one that isn't authentic to themselves)?

 

I think this is a huge part of it. I also think that consumerism had led to more people believing that happiness is a thing that one obtains instead of a way of thinking and feeling, regardless of circumstances. That's led to some people believing that love and marriage are primarily about finding and "acquiring" that one right person. Another factor is valuing the high of initial connection, chemistry. Many consider the fading of the honeymoon period to be sad or negative because they want the "rush" feeling forever.

[WesternWizard]

IME it's because 1. most people don't know what they want, and 2. middlemen (OLDSs, matchmakers, etc etc) have a vested interest in making sure it stays that way.