Trying to date a busy girl

[Teknoe]

I'm just trying to get a date.

 

If so, then you should look into speed dating and singles meet up groups.

 

Speed dating you will talk with like 20 different women in one night.

 

Guaranteed.

 

I know you said you did speed dating once before or something, but how long ago was that? You should try speed dating again, today, in 2014.

[ThaWholigan]

If you are physically attractive to that particular girl, then maybe none of that matters.

 

But for the rest of the population, that stuff matters. A lot. It's the difference between being attractive and being overlooked.

 

Fixed

 

...

[normal person]

In college some people work, some don't. It's not really important.

 

It isn't that important ...if you're 20 years old. However if you're 33, it's a different story.

 

Girls really don't know how old I am. Nobody thinks I'm older than 25. Just believe me on that.

 

Maybe they say they think you're 25 because you look 33 and they don't want to offend you by assuming that you're 33 and still in college. Because that would not really be a feather in your cap. Do you tell people you're 25?

 

So my not having a job isn't relevant, neither is my age, (at this stage. Once I start going on dates it could matter when I have to disclose)

 

You don't think it's relevant in your perceived reality of how people view you. It doesn't sound like your perceptions of it match others' understandings.

 

As for what's between the pages, those things don't start coming out until actual dating.

 

Absolutely wrong, that's one of the biggest factors that she'll use to determine if she wants to date you or not.

 

Like I said before, this girl doesn't really know that much about me, beyond my looks and personality. And that's what she is using to base if she is interested in me or not.

 

So she doesn't like your looks or personality. What else is there? Why are you still trying for it then? I don't understand.

[Cristo]

I don't really think that having a job will make as much of a difference as people here make it seem.

 

SD, you are likely not having success due to a combination of your looks and your personality. The better looking you are, the less personality you need. Since you say that you are ugly and short, you will need a lot of personality to make up for this. This means that you need a lot of friends and you need to BE interesting (not do interesting things, big difference). Your personality needs to intrigue her. You need to be edgy, but not so edgy that it offends her. Sound like too much work? That's because it is. But it's what you will need to do to be successful.

[MidwestUSA]

 

Girls really don't know how old I am. Nobody thinks I'm older than 25. Just believe me on that.

 

So my not having a job isn't relevant, neither is my age, (at this stage. Once I start going on dates it could matter when I have to disclose)

 

 

How do you know how old they think you are? Have you asked?

 

You can tell yourself whatever you want, but you posted your pic here, and linked us to your dating profile. I would have put you at 38. Sorry.

 

I remember having 'older guys' in my college classes. To me, they were ancient. In fact, 28 seemed ancient.

 

I certainly hope you intend to disclose your age up front, before actually going on a date.

[Teknoe]

How do you know how old they think you are? Have you asked?

 

You can tell yourself whatever you want, but you posted your pic here, and linked us to your dating profile. I would have put you at 38. Sorry.

 

I remember having 'older guys' in my college classes. To me, they were ancient. In fact, 28 seemed ancient.

 

I certainly hope you intend to disclose your age up front, before actually going on a date.

 

 

To be fair to SD, from what I can discern, he has never lied about his age to girls. If asked, he's told them the truth.

 

There is a difference between lying and not disclosing one's age until probed/asked. It's the latter for SD.

 

Still think he should be interacting and asking out girls 28-35 though. His 20-24 bracket is not yielding him great success. I think if he were to seek out older women, he would experience a little more success than he is currently.

[MidwestUSA]

To be fair to SD, from what I can discern, he has never lied about his age to girls. If asked, he's told them the truth.

 

There is a difference between lying and not disclosing one's age until probed/asked. It's the latter for SD.

 

 

Yes, I'm just curious as to when the probing/asking starts. Before or after a date?

 

 

I never accused SD of lying. But I don't know where not correcting someone who thinks he's younger falls on the honesty scale.

[guest569]

I wouldn't date someone unemployed unless they are applying for jobs and have desire to work. Why should I be the sole provider? I have worked hard for everything i have since I became an adult.

[somedude81]

How do you know how old they think you are? Have you asked?

 

You can tell yourself whatever you want, but you posted your pic here, and linked us to your dating profile. I would have put you at 38. Sorry.

 

I remember having 'older guys' in my college classes. To me, they were ancient. In fact, 28 seemed ancient.

 

I certainly hope you intend to disclose your age up front, before actually going on a date.

Guessing I'm 38?! ROFL! You're pulling my leg.

 

When I ask girls how old they think I am, they guess 24-26.

 

Why would I disclose my age before a date? How would that benefit me at all in any way?

[MidwestUSA]

Guessing I'm 38?! ROFL! You're pulling my leg.

 

When I ask girls how old they think I am, they guess 24-26.

 

Why would I disclose my age before a date? How would that benefit me at all in any way?

 

Not pulling your leg dude, sorry. You don't look much younger than my husband.

 

 

You wouldn't let a girl in on your age, so she can decide if she's okay with the age gap? Really?

[somedude81]

Not pulling your leg dude, sorry. You don't look much younger than my husband.

 

Then your husband must be a vampire.

 

Nobody has ever guessed that I'm in my 30's. To actually guess older than my age is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

 

You wouldn't let a girl in on your age, so she can decide if she's okay with the age gap? Really?

 

She can decide after the date.

 

Does it really make a difference?

[MidwestUSA]

 

Nobody has ever guessed that I'm in my 30's. To actually guess older than my age is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

 

She can decide after the date.

 

Does it really make a difference?

 

Sounds like two good topics for polls!!

[somedude81]

Sounds like two good topics for polls!!

 

If I really looked my age, then would I even have to tell a girl how old I am? Wouldn't she just know that she is going on a date with a guy in his 30's?

[Lani]

If I really looked my age, then would I even have to tell a girl how old I am? Wouldn't she just know that she is going on a date with a guy in his 30's?

 

No.. but you might like to start acting your age and quit relying on apparently looking 24-26.

[Teknoe]

Guessing I'm 38?! ROFL! You're pulling my leg.

 

When I ask girls how old they think I am, they guess 24-26.

 

Actually, I have to agree with Midwest. I wouldn't go as far as to say 38, but you definitely look like you're in your 30s.

 

FYI: when asking people to guess how old you are, most people shoot waaaay down. That way, the other person can be like "oh wow, thanks!"

 

Nobody would really go: "SD, I think you're 34."

 

SD: Um, no, I'm 33. But um, thanks....

 

Recently, a female colleague asked me how old I thought she looked. My brain said 37, but to be nice, I guessed 7 years less. I said 30, and she said "WOW thanks! I'm actually 38..."

 

I acted aloof like "Oh wow really?" when deep down it didn't shock me at all. Hell I thought she was 37, and I was off by just a year.

 

it's called common social etiquette.

So I wouldn't take those girls who answered 24-26 seriously. They might think you look much older, but they shoot "under" to be nice.

 

When they guessed 24-26, I'm guessing you just laughed and rolled with it. Did you ever say "Ha, thanks but no, I'm actually ___" ?

Edited October 16, 2014 by Teknoe

[TigerLilly78]

Ok now that ive done a bit of reading here OP let me get this straight so your 33 still in collage and not employed at all but will only date younger collage girls? that right there is your prob.

 

I haven't seen your photo but most men I know in their 30s almost always at least look like they are in their late 20s and as another poster pointed out when a lot of women are in their early 20s older men just are not a option for them.

 

You say these girls don't know your age? im sure there must be some one on the campus who knows your real age and word of mouth spreads like wildfire in a demographic like that. My advice aim for women more near your own age to find success..

[TigerLilly78]

If I really looked my age, then would I even have to tell a girl how old I am? Wouldn't she just know that she is going on a date with a guy in his 30's?

 

And how many dates have you gotten? I think you just answered your own question here with out even realizing it..

[Anela]

Guessing I'm 38?! ROFL! You're pulling my leg.

 

When I ask girls how old they think I am, they guess 24-26.

 

Why would I disclose my age before a date? How would that benefit me at all in any way?

 

Sorry SD, but I thought you looked closer to my age, too.

 

I have a friend in her early twenties. Sweet, confident, hilarious girl, very pretty, who would have stayed with one man if he had never lied to her about his age. She found out he'd lied about that, and she dumped him.

[Els]

Uhh... SD, I saw the photo you posted a few months ago. If anyone says you look 24, they're either lying or smoking some pretty potent stuff.

 

There's nothing wrong with looking like you're in your 30s though! Lots of 30+ yo people (and older) have great romantic lives. You just have to start trying to accept and act your age, is all.

[sillyanswer]

When I ask girls how old they think I am, they guess 24-26.

 

I'm thinking that 18-20 year old people don't have much life experience of guessing ages, plus the 'college environment' in which they meet you would, I think, tend to bias their impression of your age more towards typical student age. In other words, they are bad guessers.

 

Do you think you look like your photos?

[clia]

Guessing I'm 38?! ROFL! You're pulling my leg.

 

When I ask girls how old they think I am, they guess 24-26.

 

Why would I disclose my age before a date? How would that benefit me at all in any way?

 

How do you get to a situation where girls are even being asked to guess your age? Do they ask how old you are and you tell them to guess? I'm just asking because I can't even remember the last time someone asked me to guess their age or wanted to guess mine, so I don't understand how this even comes up.

[MidwestUSA]

How do you get to a situation where girls are even being asked to guess your age? Do they ask how old you are and you tell them to guess? I'm just asking because I can't even remember the last time someone asked me to guess their age or wanted to guess mine, so I don't understand how this even comes up.

 

Guess mine, clia, guess mine!

 

 

Please, pretty please?

[somedude81]

How do you get to a situation where girls are even being asked to guess your age? Do they ask how old you are and you tell them to guess? I'm just asking because I can't even remember the last time someone asked me to guess their age or wanted to guess mine, so I don't understand how this even comes up.

 

Sometimes girls just ask.

 

It's not a common thing.

 

It's really not an issue even worth talking about here.

[MidwestUSA]

Sometimes girls just ask.

 

It's not a common thing.

 

It's really not an issue even worth talking about here.

 

What do you tell them on the occasions that they do ask? Do you counter with 'Well, how old do I look?'?

[rester]

Sometimes girls just ask.

 

It's not a common thing.

 

It's really not an issue even worth talking about here.

 

I think people find it curious why you blame your height or your looks, but don't seem to recognize that age is important, too. Especially when you are looking to date girls ten years younger than yourself. You're making things so much harder on yourself.

 

I also saw those pictures you had up, and my first reaction to them was that you are far better looking than you think you are, but also much older looking than you think you are.