HereIsME Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Hello, I need some advice. I have been dating my girlfriend for a year. I am 36 and she is 26. She does have a child which I get along with from previous relationship. I love this girl dearly and feel we are soulmates. I have even thought about marrying her. Background - I met her from this guy that my brother knew. He was ok to me hanging out with but was a hot head etc. He brought her around when we were partying. He cheated on her during this time. She started to like me from talking to me etc. I told her I didn't want to get involved in her drama due to respect for my brothers friend. Needless to say things started to blossom and move quick. I came to her and proposed we come clean with her ex since he was my brothers friend as well. Also, he was cool with me. I figured we would run into him anyway. She was very adamant about not telling him since it was none of his business. Months went on with him texting and calling trying to get ahold of her and him saying he misses her. It really bothered and annoyed me. Then he disappeared for months or so I thought as she claimed he wasn't texting her. Present situation - A month ago we were laying in bed at 1 am. He was beating down door trying to get in. She told me to come back to bed. A big red flag. I said you got two choices. I am going outside or you going to call police. She called police but he heard me and left. I asked her after this to come clean with me. She said he was still texting her but she didn't want me to freak out. I told she will need to get restraining order since she lives with her child and I can't be there daily. She put it off for weeks stalling. My gut knew something was up. I decided to keep an eye on her. Now the terrible part. She told me she was going to bed at 10 pm. She didn't know I was out in her town at bar. I drove past her house at 1 am. His truck was there with correct license plate. I took pictures of it for proof. I banged on door and no answer of course. Kind of ironic I'm now the guy banging on door. I immediately left and told her is over. I sent the photos via text telling her to never contact me. It took until the next morning late to repond. She said he came over work and they were just talking. I said don't insult my intelligence. She swears on her kids life they didn't have sex. Why would she let this guy she is supposedly scared of in that late of night? She has been going crazy calling me texting me. It has been so painful for me as I love her dearly and wanted to marry her. All my years of dating I though she was the one. I can't seem to get her over her but seeing his truck there killed me inside I never would have thought she would be unfaithful. Any Advice you can give would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Chemist Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Hello, I need some advice. I have been dating my girlfriend for a year. I am 36 and she is 26. She does have a child which I get along with from previous relationship. I love this girl dearly and feel we are soulmates. I have even thought about marrying her. Background - I met her from this guy that my brother knew. He was ok to me hanging out with but was a hot head etc. He brought her around when we were partying. He cheated on her during this time. She started to like me from talking to me etc. I told her I didn't want to get involved in her drama due to respect for my brothers friend. Needless to say things started to blossom and move quick. I came to her and proposed we come clean with her ex since he was my brothers friend as well. Also, he was cool with me. I figured we would run into him anyway. She was very adamant about not telling him since it was none of his business. Months went on with him texting and calling trying to get ahold of her and him saying he misses her. It really bothered and annoyed me. Then he disappeared for months or so I thought as she claimed he wasn't texting her. Present situation - A month ago we were laying in bed at 1 am. He was beating down door trying to get in. She told me to come back to bed. A big red flag. I said you got two choices. I am going outside or you going to call police. She called police but he heard me and left. I asked her after this to come clean with me. She said he was still texting her but she didn't want me to freak out. I told she will need to get restraining order since she lives with her child and I can't be there daily. She put it off for weeks stalling. My gut knew something was up. I decided to keep an eye on her. Now the terrible part. She told me she was going to bed at 10 pm. She didn't know I was out in her town at bar. I drove past her house at 1 am. His truck was there with correct license plate. I took pictures of it for proof. I banged on door and no answer of course. Kind of ironic I'm now the guy banging on door. I immediately left and told her is over. I sent the photos via text telling her to never contact me. It took until the next morning late to repond. She said he came over work and they were just talking. I said don't insult my intelligence. She swears on her kids life they didn't have sex. Why would she let this guy she is supposedly scared of in that late of night? She has been going crazy calling me texting me. It has been so painful for me as I love her dearly and wanted to marry her. All my years of dating I though she was the one. I can't seem to get her over her but seeing his truck there killed me inside I never would have thought she would be unfaithful. Any Advice you can give would be appreciated. I'd probably bail. Seems like some shady untrustworthy business. She lied to you. I'm not you, so the question you have to ask yourself is can you trust her? If she is lying about this, could you trust her again? Maybe you should just explain to her that she violated your trust, whether she cheated or not, but she should be honest with you now about it. Ask her why she cheated and if she'll do it again. Why didn't they open the door? If she sticks to the same old story, I'd just leave. Why did she lie to you about going to bed? Why was he there so late? Eat her story apart and if she lies to you, toss her to the curb. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HereIsME Posted October 13, 2014 Author Share Posted October 13, 2014 Thanks for advice. She claims he texted her after she sent text to me. But why wouldn't she tell me this guy was coming over so late. Yes, I know he came after work but that kills me. She claims she was going to tell me in morning. I should kept evidence till the next day to frame her even more. She didn't answer as she thought it may have been one of her shady neighbors friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Chemist Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Thanks for advice. She claims he texted her after she sent text to me. But why wouldn't she tell me this guy was coming over so late. Yes, I know he came after work but that kills me. She claims she was going to tell me in morning. I should kept evidence till the next day to frame her even more. She didn't answer as she thought it may have been one of her shady neighbors friends. Little ****er has an excuse for everything. Can always snoop her phone, but then whose violating trust? See if she is lying about text or if their are any incriminating text messages. See if their are texts left from before and after that time from him if there isn't one there for that night. It's unlikely that she would delete the only text message that would be her get out of jail card. Then ask her too see the text and see what she says. I mean you could just ask her for the text, but I would bet it has been deleted. Ask her why she even talks to this guy anymore. She should not even answer her texts. Have you ever felt like she has lied to you in the past? Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 She was having a thing with you while she was with him. You knew what kind of a woman you were getting involved with. Its time wake up. She is a cheater. Now you can get back involved with her but your going to have to accept your not the only guy she is playing with. If it was me it I would walk away now. You know the truth. You don't need to hear her rewriting history. Plenty of better woman out there. Clay 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HereIsME Posted October 13, 2014 Author Share Posted October 13, 2014 No other than her being weird about not telling this guy about us from getgo things have been good. I was lucky to find the evidence I did. She always seems to be secretive on her phone. I can't seem to ever get it away. Also, I have no idea what code is? I always trusted her until last month when this deadbeat showed up. Then to see him over there last week was brutal. Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Some guy I'm afraid of, I don't invite him in to "talk" at 1 in the morning. I meet him in a public place because we have a child together, and I inform you of it. A guy at my place at 1am, most likely my boyfriend (or in her case, the ex she's banging) Link to post Share on other sites
Keke1 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 How many unanswered doors need to happen before you walk away? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HereIsME Posted October 14, 2014 Author Share Posted October 14, 2014 (edited) Update!!!! First off everyone was spot on. I decided to call the ex (my bro got me number) She played both of us for 5 months. Long story. We both felt like idiots but ultimately she is the loser. Dodged a huge bullet. I went from devastation to feeling relived after talking to him Edited October 14, 2014 by HereIsME Correction 4 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I have a rule When i find out something (a fact, an evidence...) about someone, and the story i hear is matching 100% to the evidence - I'm sure i'm being lied to. That is a proof to me the the other person was sculpting the "truth" according to the evidence i have. Good luck! Always trust your guts! Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 She played both of us for 5 months. Long story. We both felt like idiots but ultimately she is the loser. Dodged a huge bullet. I went from devastation to feeling relived after talking to him Fortunately for you, you can exit this situation. He is not so lucky. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HereIsME Posted October 15, 2014 Author Share Posted October 15, 2014 She is now saying her ex was lying when he talked to me. I said why would he lie. He said he has been messing around with him for months. I mean I guess he doesn't owe me anything and could lie. But the fact is his truck was there late at night confirms it. Got to love how they turn against each other. The good news is a messed up her setup with him at least in short term. Time to wipe my hands clean and move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 Man, what a crazy hoe. Yeah, not much loss for you there. Link to post Share on other sites
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