tim505 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Me and my girlfriend dated way back from 2006-2009. We were in love very much. Towards the end we started fighting a lot and broke up. We have both been in a few relationships since then. I recently broke up with my girlfriend and have been talking to my ex for about 2 months now. She has a boyfriend and she has broke up with him a few times in the year they have been going out on and off. She said she only got back with him because she was lonely. Now, she is very unhappy with him. She asked me the first three times to hang out and seemed very happy to see me. I told her a few weeks ago that I still have feelings for her, and she said she does too but it is complicated because she lives with her boyfriend. She has a kid but he is not the father, and the kid is two years old. For a while, things we going strong with me and her. We were texting a lot and she seemed happy. I feel like I started texting her too much and maybe she thought it was annoying after a while. I want to give her space now and let her figure out her life. Any suggestions? We are both first loves btw, and we really care about one another but I just don't know if she is confused right now or if she just needs time to think. Should I keep texting her or completely stop and wait for her to text me again? Any helped is greatly appreciated! Thanks, Tim Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 She's not single, so back off. Link to post Share on other sites
tikay00 Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Yeah, man. She's living with a guy that has a kid. How the hell would you feel if your GF's ex was plotting on ways to get her back? It's just shady. Even if you have that urge, just tell her to do what makes her happy, and not in that sneaky way. Tell her to be good to her man, and leave it at that. She's going to do what she's going to do, but you can't be the one that pushes her to it. Not in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tim505 Posted October 15, 2014 Author Share Posted October 15, 2014 right i know what you mean. its actually her kid, i might have worded it wrong. she is living with a new boyfriend but its her kid, her ex boyfriend is the one she has the kid with Link to post Share on other sites
AlphaC Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Tim, check yourself, you wrote your story correct the first time, some of these cats have issues with reading comprehension. Listen man, wake the hell up. You dated her 8 years ago and since then had a kid (with another dude) that relationship went sour, your relationship went sour and now this girl is co-habitating with a guy she's been with only about a year and WITH HER kid? This woman is bad news, she is now cheating on her current man with you, emotional cheating. Dude, you dodged a bullet, run away, she is bad news man. You will have to deal with this current bf, her baby's father and who knows how many other cats she's been with in the past 8 years. Man don't sell yourself short, no woman is worth all that drama, trust me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tim505 Posted October 15, 2014 Author Share Posted October 15, 2014 Your right. And who's to say she would not do the same to me. Idk its just hard I should have never started texting her in the first place. I can't stop thinking about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tim505 Posted October 26, 2014 Author Share Posted October 26, 2014 I recently started talking to my ex again in the last two months. We dated almost 8 years ago. I just came out of another relationship of three years. I want my first ex back but she has a boyfriend. We met up a few times in the last couple of months and I can't believe how many feelings came back for her. She said she has some feelings as well but she says its complicated and she doesn't know what she wants. I am so depressed and its killing me. What can I do to increase my chances of winning her back? I don't want to see her if she has a boyfriend because it hurts so much. She has been with this guy for about a year on and off. Link to post Share on other sites
Smarty Pants Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I recently started talking to my ex again in the last two months. We dated almost 8 years ago. I just came out of another relationship of three years. I want my first ex back but she has a boyfriend. We met up a few times in the last couple of months and I can't believe how many feelings came back for her. She said she has some feelings as well but she says its complicated and she doesn't know what she wants. I am so depressed and its killing me. What can I do to increase my chances of winning her back? I don't want to see her if she has a boyfriend because it hurts so much. She has been with this guy for about a year on and off. If she has a boyfriend you should back off. Tell her how you feel and that when she's single you can try. Otherwise, this isn't a good situation to get into. Link to post Share on other sites
mel01 Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 If she has been in a 1 year relationship, you don't want to be the "other guy". The fact it has been on and off and that she says she has feeling for you but is confused sounds like the relationship isn't a solid one. I would just make contact with her one more time, let her know how you feel but tell her you respect the relationship and should anything change in her circumstances you would love to hear from her. This puts it back in her court, if she is unhappy she will leave him, if she loves him she will stay. You have expressed how you feel and then it is her decision on how much involvement you have in her life. What is meant to be is meant to be. If she choices to stay with him, you need to move on Link to post Share on other sites
Author tim505 Posted October 27, 2014 Author Share Posted October 27, 2014 Thank you both I really appreciate the advice. I will go aheand and do that. Link to post Share on other sites
GoBomb36 Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Yeah, man, I agree with Mel. It will sort of serve as your way of putting it out there and rolling the ball to her. It's not like giving up, but it is like you showing an understanding of the situation and telling her indirectly that it is probably left up to her. As stated, it puts the ball in her court. That last contact should be your first step to try to move forward. If she comes back around, that's great. But you have to try to move forward. Trust me, bro, it is much easier said than done. If anyone can tell you that, it is this guy. You seem fairly level-headed though, so I think you will be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Let her come to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Standard-Fare Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 If you two are able to maintain some form of casual, limited form of contact... that's the best you can hope for right now. It might be a good way of keeping in touch so you can see if anything ever changes with her situation. But SHE should be the one initiating this contact. You need to remain pretty passive with it. You've already put your feelings out there, and it sounds like you've also already crossed a few lines in being too aggressive with your contact. Reign it in. Be careful not to pin any expectations on getting back with her. Go about living your life, opening yourself up to other romantic scenarios. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tim505 Posted October 27, 2014 Author Share Posted October 27, 2014 thanks everyone. i will definitely not contact her anymore and let her sort her life out but in the meantime i will try and move on a meet other women and see what happens. like everyone says if its meant to be we will end up back together Link to post Share on other sites
Colin John Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Damn so you two started talking again after 5 years or so? How did that happen? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tim505 Posted October 27, 2014 Author Share Posted October 27, 2014 yeah man. we have been friends but we lost touch the last three years or so. i only really saw her once in the last three years. i just got out of a three year relationship and i messaged her like two months ago or so. we started talking ago and she started messaging me a lot to hang out. she told me this weekend that she was sorry if she was sending mixed signals because she kept texting me to get together. but i know she still has feelings for me she even admitted it. she is the perfect girl, really sucks that she is in a relationship right now. but i took other advice on here and i basically sent her a message today saying that I really enjoyed seeing her again and that i respect that she is in a relationship and that should anything change to get in touch and left it at that. hopefully she will reach out to me again sometime who knows... Link to post Share on other sites
Colin John Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Hopefully she will man. Im in a tough spot, my ex just started seeing someone and we decided we cant talk anymore but maybe down the road we'll be friends again. I really love her and hope maybe in a few years we can give things another shot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tim505 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Share Posted October 28, 2014 Yeah man hopefully things work out for you. It really sucks feeling like this I just want it to be over. I am even in a more crazy situation because my recent ex just texted me and this other girl is trying to get me to hang out. My emotions are going crazy I just don't know what to do. Like I don't want to wait for my old ex to figure her life out but I'm scared if I get back into a relationship I might never have another chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Colin John Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Im not gunna wait around my ex certainly isnt. Thats a tough situation for sure bro, maybe just take a step back and really think about what u want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tim505 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Share Posted October 28, 2014 Yeah that's what I need to do for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Colin John Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Im crushed thinking about my ex with someone else i wish i could just fast forward through the pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tim505 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Share Posted October 28, 2014 i know man it really sucks. i know i am better than the guy my ex is with too, i just hope she sees that Link to post Share on other sites
Colin John Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 They say it takes 6 months to a year for someones true colors to show. I made some mistakes with my ex which i know she's holding onto and that's why she moved onto this guy, I just hope maybe after a few years we can reconnect like you and your ex but who knows, she's a stubborn girl that is really jaded from her past. I at least would like to friends with her again, but that would take some serious time apart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tim505 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Share Posted October 28, 2014 yeah i know what you mean. after taking so much time apart i am fortunate that we started talking again and that we still remained friends over all these years. i just never knew i would have so many feelings come back for her when we started talking again. its crazy. i can only hope she will realize what she has been missing. Link to post Share on other sites
Colin John Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Crazier things have happened man. The love you have for someone special never truly goes away, just be cool and see how things play out. I myself have alot of time between now n then. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts