Author Sus1971 Posted October 20, 2014 Author Share Posted October 20, 2014 The woman has never worked a day in herlife and he is still supporting her. AYFKM? Does she wash his clothes, pay his bills, cook his food, mow the lawn,wash the floor, did she stay up all night with their sick kids so he didn’thave to, taxi their kids to school events, did he have to pay for day care, wasshe a good mother to his kids, love and nuture them, change the bed sheets andhave sex with him whenever he wanted, did she cheat on him while he was working???? Did you have kids? Did they go to daycare while you were at work? Who took care of them? You have no right to judge her just because she “neverworked a day in her lie” Actually, I don't have to judge her, I've heard from everyone who knows her including her family, she was not that kind of mom or partner. The kids were often left home alone, dirty, the house a mess...etc. She would leave the house and the kids after He went off to work only to return home just before he got home. That's also has a lot to do with why they never married and why they've never gotten along. She's lazy and it's what everyone who knows her states about her. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedMarriedOW Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 He is stringing you along. Leave. Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 (edited) she is defective he is dithering and when their dynamic gets bad, you are called in to his life, he looks for you let them get bored without you, srsly just be pleasant with him go out with other friends too, you deserve better, moe fun while he dithers and dithers Edited October 20, 2014 by darkmoon 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sus1971 Posted October 20, 2014 Author Share Posted October 20, 2014 Update......... So first I want to thank everyone for the replies. I didn't want to come back here and read anymore after the first night I posted. It was all a little to much for me all at once. Thank you to those of you who shared in your similar experiences, it's good to know I'm not alone in this. I have been quiet with him these past few days. He just buried his brother saturday so I didn't want to end it with him during this time. I do have a heart and I know he has feelings too. We saw each other today at the club and we had a nice talk. I did tell him that I was growing restless and as soon as he was feeling better we would need to talk about our future. He agreed and we left it at that. I visited with his mother and sister tonight because I did not attend the wake. We did talk a little about our situation and both of them agreed that he needs to get out of his current relationship. His live in (they are not married) possibly has a boyfriend. Some friends of the family saw her with someone else. I think a lot of you are assuming his relationship with her was normal all these years. It was not. I can assure you they have never really gotten along and yes they DO live in separate rooms of the house, his mother and sister have confirmed that. They have never shared a bed at night in the 30 years they have been together. I do not know why other than everyone has always said they never got along. I'm basically done. I feel like I'm slowly checking out emotionally. My plan is to lay low for a few weeks, let the man grieve and then I'm going to tell him we are done. We don't see each other outside of the group anymore anyway, so it's not like I have to worry about being drug back in emotionally if we were to go out. I don't foresee him asking me to see him. I know the truth and it hurts. It hurts more than I ever thought it would. I honestly don't know how I'll pick up the pieces of my broken heart this time. I don't even know if I ever want to see anyone ever again. I used to think being in love was special and beautiful, now it's just a painful thing...it seems. I really wish it could have worked out for us. He can be so sweet and so nice. One of the reason's he and his current never did anything together is because she never liked anything he liked to do. That's why I was different, we liked all the same things. I'm sad that I'll never get to know what it would have been like with him, but maybe that's a good thing. I have to move on now and heal. I'm hoping that the next couple weeks that I use to back away, I can also heal a little so I will be strong enough to let him go. Wish me luck. This is the most painful thing I think I've ever had to do. Thank you all again for all the replies. I'll keep you all updated. Link to post Share on other sites
Redheaded Mistress Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 I wish you luck and remember, if he leaves there's no reason to not pick up where you left off. The end isn't always forever. Go, enjoy your life, date, be happy and have a life you're proud of. If he frees up, you'll be ready. If not, you'll have moved on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Summer Breeze Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Did you talk to your MM during these 3 years? Or not at all? What was that, that made him leave in the end? Bad marriage, grown kids, or a desire to have you?... Three years is a long time, you never stopped loving him? I never spoke to him but he sent me emails periodically. He sent flowers a few times a year as well. I never responded to anything, I went on living my life. I had a long term R but he ended up taking a position halfway around the world so it didn't go any further. He left of his own accord and had no idea if I would be waiting for him. He made the choice and did what he wanted for himself. He tried to stay but after 2 years he left. Counseling, his own place, filed for D. For quite a while when we were apart I was in here posting. And no I never stopped loving him. When he came back we both realized what we felt had changed but I still loved him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sus1971 Posted January 15, 2015 Author Share Posted January 15, 2015 I'm sorry it has taken so long to update my situation, but I have GOOD reason! Well, I finally did it, I left the man who kept me on a string for over a year promising me he would leave his live in. I finally got the strength, decided I deserved MUCH more and I found just that! I have since met a WONDERFUL....SINGLE man who is the complete opposite of the man I was waiting for. We've been dating now for a little over a month and things are going GREAT! He doesn't have to hide me from anyone. We have a lot in common and are very compatible. We've been spending a lot of time together doing all the things we both love to do. I've never been so happy in my life! We both had bad relationships in the past, so we are able to have a complete understanding of what each of us has been through. He's sensitive to my needs, feelings and is just down right a wonderful human being. I thought I would stop in and share this with you all. If it hadn't been for this site, and the encouraging words, I don't think I could have done it and I wouldn't have met this great guy that I did. For those of you still waiting....all I can say is...when I finally let go of what I thought I couldn't live without, doors began to open that I didn't know existed. I am so truly happy now. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 That's great progress! Good for you!!! So happy for you! Isn't change wonderful?!! Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Wonderful news! Poppy. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Awesome. Good for you. Link to post Share on other sites
janetl Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Great going, enjoy and take care! Link to post Share on other sites
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