Am I the only one that does this?

[purplesoccer34]

Whenever I'm talking to someone other than a friend or family member, I appear as though I can make conversation pretty well. For the most part, I think I appear fairly comfortable, and I can certainly keep a conversation going. However--and this especially applies to people I respect and admire--I tend to monitor every word that comes out of my mouth and my every reaction to their comments. I do this a bit too much for fear of saying the wrong thing, and for fear of having them not like me. Sometimes I feel like the worst thing I could possibly do is interrupt them when they're speaking, and so I go to extreme measures to listen to their entire speech before even saying a word. I also think a lot before I say anything, and only if it sounds "good," do I actually say it. I don't even make jokes for fear of them being lame. And this is the worst part...when I leave, I repeatedly play every detail of the conversation in my head and think to myself, "Why didn't I say this," or "How come I didn't say that," or "I could've said this a different way," and "What are they thinking of me now" and things like that.

 

The more I admire someone, the worse this is. It just isn't like this for close family and friends...I literally say whatever I want to say in front of them and I don't feel tense in the slightest, and they all seem to like me for it. However, I'm different with almost everybody at my work place, because I work with them, like them, and I want them to like me. I want to impress my boss and my colleagues. They somehow all see me as nice and sweet and fun to talk to, but inside I completely clam up when I speak to them, obsessively monitoring my every word. It's the absolute worst when I talk to my boss mainly because he's such a nice and friendly guy and everybody in the office loves him. He thinks I'm great at what I do, and this just makes me more nervous when I talk to him, because I don't want to do or say anything that will make him think otherwise. I want to completely be myself when I'm with him and the rest of my colleagues, but for some reason I'm always so tense.

 

Am I the only one? How can I overcome this?

[cerridwen]

No, you're not the only one.

I can relate to experiencing a milder form of this during a week in a hyper-competitive setting.

Stress and pressure sent me reeling but it abated.

 

It's anxiety and yes, it can be overcome. Anxiety need not be generalized; it can be circumstantial.

Have you ever worked with a therapist, read up on or been treated for it?

Edited October 16, 2014 by cerridwen

[Burp]

YES! You are the ONLY one. Honestly. I know every human, all 7 billion of them. I counted who are the ones with no anxiety at all. My result: 6,999,999,999 have no anxiety.

 

So, you are the ONLY one. But, that's cool!? That makes you unique. And awesome. And lucky, because everyone wants to be "different", but you are the only one, who truly is different.

 

Don't worry bout it. people will think it's cute. Wait, you're a girl right? If not, I meant, people will think it's .. uh, cute.