Situation with the EX

[David]

I posted a message early about breaking up with my girl.

 

Well, we are madly in love with each other. I saw how much we mean to each other the very last moment, right before she walked out of my car.

 

Well we had not spoken since, but yesterday we were online, and we chatted. She started admitting that she did not give me her heart completely from the beginning, and that led to our break up. Well, she was scared to give as much effort as I did. She was in a 3 year relationship righ before she met me.

 

Well, we made a decision that we were gonna break up, because we were not working out mainly due to circumstances: School, work, lack of time and place.

 

SO basically we were not getting from each other what we deserved from each other, and what we could have given each other, had the circumstances been different.

 

So we decided to take care of our lives. She still has 2 more years in college, so is basically tied down by that and by the fact that she lives with her parents, and her parents are very controlling. So its a big deterrant.

 

I , on the other hand, have a good career, and can take care of her if she chooses to, however, she wants to get her degree too, and yesterday, online, she said that there is a possibility of us getting together.

 

She was telling me yesterday, that she realized how much she blocked herself from things, afraid of being hurt, and that in turn did not allow us to develop a strong relationship.

 

She admitted that I gave her more and put more into this relationship than she did, and added that the decision we made to be apart now is good for both of us. She told me she needs to regroup and allow herself to feel what she really feels, meaning that certaing feelings she might have closed her eyes on.

 

Now, i am little confused. I am madly in love with her, and I am ready to give another shot and put double the amount of effort I put into it. But it will require the same amount of effort from her too, if thigs are to work out between me and her.

 

Well basically we are free to date, but what do you guys think, what are the chances of us getting back together. If she starts dating, will she forget me?

 

I am not quite familiar with girls' mentality.

 

What should I do in the meantime, I am, quite frankly, hesitating to date anyone, I am so much in love with her, but don't want to wait, I want to move forward too, but I am so afraid that as time goes on, we will grow apart frome ach other....

 

What should i do. I wish I could just run to her, grab her hand, and take her with me, because I know that noone else in this world will be able to love her and take care of her, as much as I can and I will. Noone will know her as much as I know, and noone will know what she really wants, and what really makes her happy, like I do!!

 

Does this all make sense????

 

Need HELP!!

[Katie]

First of all how long did you dated? I understand that both of you are hurting. I suggest you remain friends for now and don't rush into a relationship because you're not ready yet. The chances of you getting back together are 50/50. Be friends and if later this relationship is nothing more than just a friendship,accept that. It is better to be with someone who loves you as much as you love her than feeling that you give more and receive less. I think there's someone out there for each of us and if she's the one she'll get back to you.

[Rachel]

David;

 

My heart goes out to you, in everyway. I am exactly where you are at this moment in my relationship. Except I am the woman, and he is the one that is confused.

 

Most of the regulars on here have given me good advice. I don't know if there's a chance for you or not. I have decided to give him the space he needs to figure it out. I miss him sooooooooo much, and wonder if he has ANY idea how much I love him. He meant everything in the world to me, and the void hurts the same as it did three months ago.

 

I invited him to dinner a few weeks ago. We had a great time, however our relationship came up. He said, be patient with me. Tony said that was a "line" and he had heard it a million times. However, he called me two days later and told me what a nice time he had had and that he would be in touch with me. Last week he brought me flowers for Valentines, on Monday, which I guess was his way of saying he really cares, but we wouldn't do Valentines together. He called me a couple of times last week, about some things he's working on for me(he's my stock broker also), and I kept wondering if he was just keeping in touch with me(the stuff he was working on, he didn't NECESSARIY need to do last week), however, I haven't heard from him since Friday.

 

I dont' know what to tell you. Love hurts like hell that's for sure. I keep thinking is he dating other people, what's going on? I have been going to counseling. I will go every other week, until I have some clarity and can move on. My counseler says maybe he is making a u-turn back towards me and that I need to leave the door open for 60 days. He says dating other people right this minute is probably not a very good idea, for the simple fact that if he hears I am dating someone, he will probably back off. I guess if I don't hear from him in the next couple of weeks, I can just assume he isn't interested and move on, if my counseler thinks the same.

 

I know how confused you are, so am I. I wish I could tell you its going to be easy, but really and truly, my heart is still missing this man sooo terribly.

 

He was 8 months out of a divorce when I met him. And he didn't have his healing done properly. He knows that. He also says, now he realizes that he hasn't dated enough people after his divorce, and that if we are meant to be together, we will.

 

Well, let me know if I can be of any help to you.

 

As it turns out, his name is David too.