Would you date someone with a really bad car?

[Emilia]

Maybe he's had a harder life than me too.

 

And in fact, I have no idea if I will ever buy a car. I am content riding a bike, taking public transportation, and renting a car when I need one.

 

It's cheaper, and I, ffs, hope I never, ever, fall for a girl who would care about my wheels. I wonder, if 150 years ago, people would look at their partner's horse. No, they wouldn't, because that isn't what we're looking at. It is purely social status and money... because those make good lovers and partners.

150 years ago people looked at the horse, what your father's job was and how much you were likely to make in your lifetime to support your wife and children and perhaps additional relatives. I very much doubt anyone staying at university for long to study for a PhD without earning was seen as a good catch. Love marriages didn't exist 150 years ago.

 

I don't think it's about owning a car, if you live in a city you likely don't need one. Certainly not in London. However, if you have one would you have it full of holes, rust and a cracked windscreen (which is very dangerous by the way since it can break any moment)?

 

I think it's fair to expect someone at the age of 39 to be more in control than that. To be able to steer his life in the direction that makes him look more of an adult. Whether it's different transport or different lifestyle. It's about self-respect by that age. I'm 42 and that's how I know.

[amaysngrace]

My married friends have two cars. She drives an awesome car. Top of the line Audi Q. He drives a beater pick up.

 

He gave me a ride once and he had to get all the crap off his passenger seat before I got in.

 

They will be vacationing in Cancun in two weeks. They also own two homes.

 

I think it's endearing that he isn't so hung up about the kind of car he drives. He's practical.

 

I'd much prefer a man like that to someone who has nothing else going for him except for the car he drives.

 

He's close to 50.

[Chemist]

Maybe, this guy, when he was 16, learned the meaning of a hard work and taking pride in things that you owned. Maybe he worked two summers long to buy that car in high school because his parents gave him nothing.

 

Maybe he understands this so much, he will take care of what he owns and take pride in what he has done. Instead of throwing away a car that gets him from point a to b, he decides that function is more important than form, especially for a tool.

 

Isn't that the type of thing you'd want in a partner? No relationship will be problem free. Wouldn't you want a guy who is willing to stick with the non perfect rather than throwing it away and starting over?

 

Lots of maybes, but you don't know and never will if you let this be a deal breaker.

[Emilia]

I have never ever met a person who had their life in order and were happy to have some piece of c**p show them up. Ever.

[longjohn]

I am not talking about just being an old car, I am talking about a car that is covered in rust holes and you can hear coming from a mile away.

 

I met this man over coffee and when he got there I had a shock when he drove in this old car eaten all over by rust holes. He has been insisting on seeing me again but .......

I'm not a materialistic person at all. I dated a lady once, drove an old beat-up rust laden SUV and insisted it was from her father (who died) and held sentimental value. A few weeks in she admitted she was bankrupt and it's all she had to drive. She lost her job couldn't pay bills, current job didn't pay enough etc. What made me end it with her is she took no responsibility for her financial issues instead blaming banks (to an extent I agree with) and her family, friends etc but never herself.

 

 

Moral of my story if I date someone and they show up in a heap of $hite car I will have to assume, 1 poor, 2 bankrupt, 3 can't manage their finances, 4 leaving after coffee never to see them again. Hate to be like that but I wasted a good few months on that lady. I've perfect credit and next to no debt. I can't have some fully grown child ruin me like they did themselves.

[Chemist]

150 years ago people looked at the horse, what your father's job was and how much you were likely to make in your lifetime to support your wife and children and perhaps additional relatives. I very much doubt anyone staying at university for long to study for a PhD without earning was seen as a good catch. Love marriages didn't exist 150 years ago.

 

I don't think it's about owning a car, if you live in a city you likely don't need one. Certainly not in London. However, if you have one would you have it full of holes, rust and a cracked windscreen (which is very dangerous by the way since it can break any moment)?

 

I think it's fair to expect someone at the age of 39 to be more in control than that. To be able to steer his life in the direction that makes him look more of an adult. Whether it's different transport or different lifestyle. It's about self-respect by that age. I'm 42 and that's how I know.

 

That was my point. It isn't about the object, it's about the status and wealth that object represents.

 

Also, age doesn't bring wisdom. I've seen harsher sides of life.. Experience is how I know.

 

Just let him go. This guy could have a heart of gold, but not what you#re after.

[Gaeta]

Maybe, this guy, when he was 16, learned the meaning of a hard work and taking pride in things that you owned. Maybe he worked two summers long to buy that car in high school because his parents gave him nothing.

 

Maybe he understands this so much, he will take care of what he owns and take pride in what he has done. Instead of throwing away a car that gets him from point a to b, he decides that function is more important than form, especially for a tool.

 

Isn't that the type of thing you'd want in a partner? No relationship will be problem free. Wouldn't you want a guy who is willing to stick with the non perfect rather than throwing it away and starting over?

 

Lots of maybes, but you don't know and never will if you let this be a deal breaker.

 

That is the thing. He did not take care of that car. He did not maintain it properly and he let it fall apart.

 

Listen, I am a woman, I know nothing about cars but I am at the garage a few times a year for maintenance, when there is a noise I have it checked and repaired, when I see rocks have hit the hood I have it fixed. I know if I maintain it I will keep it for a long time. Maintaining properly what you own is important.

[Keenly]

If its love you are looking for, then it seems foolish to judge a person based on a materiel possession.

 

 

It has little to do with who they are on the inside.

[Emilia]

That was my point. It isn't about the object, it's about the status and wealth that object represents.

No, it represents what he thinks of himself, how he perceives his life and himself in it. It is status in a way but it isn't about money. The same way as brushing your teeth isn't or cleaning your shoes before you leave the house isn't or cleaning your bathroom. It's about self respect.

Also, age doesn't bring wisdom. I've seen harsher sides of life.. Experience is how I know.

It wasn't the point I was making. With age comes expectations, something very different is expected when you are 39 (or 42) than when you are 29. This you don't know yet but this guy should. He should have more pride and self respect.

[Chemist]

That is the thing. He did not take care of that car. He did not maintain it properly and he let it fall apart.

 

Listen, I am a woman, I know nothing about cars but I am at the garage a few times a year for maintenance, when there is a noise I have it checked and repaired, when I see rocks have hit the hood I have it fixed. I know if I maintain it I will keep it for a long time. Maintaining properly what you own is important.

 

Do you even have an idea what year this car is from? Most cars are plastic. They wouldn't rust where you see them. This car, rusting, has to be 25 years old or more. You just admit you know nothing about cars, it's clear. The only thing that is going to change rusting metal is dropping loot for new paint jobs, routinely, and that isn't even going to stop it. He could have had the motor die, a flat tire, a bad accident that made it so he couldn't work for some time.

 

Okay, I am done arguing. Do what you want.

 

Maybe you can help me.

 

I met this girl, she just has little tits and is a bit chubby. I mean if she had pride in herself, she would work out, put on make up, and ffs, buy breast implants. What is this world coming too.. women who don't take care of themselves. Is it superficial if I blow her off?

[Emilia]

I met this girl, she just has little tits and is a bit chubby. I mean if she had pride in herself, she would work out, put on make up, and ffs, buy breast implants. What is this world coming too.. women who don't take care of themselves. Is it superficial if I blow her off?

No. If you have no respect for people who don't look after themselves, you shouldn't date them. You should date a woman who has similar values to yours. It's not superficial at all, everyone has certain expectations and they are different.

[Gaeta]

Do you even have an idea what year this car is from? Most cars are plastic. They wouldn't rust where you see them. This car, rusting, has to be 25 years old or more. You just admit you know nothing about cars, it's clear. The only thing that is going to change rusting metal is dropping loot for new paint jobs, routinely, and that isn't even going to stop it. He could have had the motor die, a flat tire, a bad accident that made it so he couldn't work for some time.

 

Okay, I am done arguing. Do what you want.

 

Maybe you can help me.

 

I met this girl, she just has little tits and is a bit chubby. I mean if she had pride in herself, she would work out, put on make up, and ffs, buy breast implants. What is this world coming too.. women who don't take care of themselves. Is it superficial if I blow her off?

 

Well you know even less than I about car. When a car is THAT rusted you don't have it painted because it would cost a good $8,000 if not more. You trash it and you get yourself something presentable, I don't care if it's a 1987 but presentable!

 

As for your personal advice, if her small tits and chubbiness don't knock your socks off then yes drop her.

[HappyLove]

That is the thing. He did not take care of that car. He did not maintain it properly and he let it fall apart.

 

Listen, I am a woman, I know nothing about cars but I am at the garage a few times a year for maintenance, when there is a noise I have it checked and repaired, when I see rocks have hit the hood I have it fixed. I know if I maintain it I will keep it for a long time. Maintaining properly what you own is important.

 

Do you really think he let his car fall apart? I'm willing to bet this is how he bought it because this is what he can afford.

[Chemist]

touché

 

Well, I guess you have answered your own question then. You would not date someone with a bad car.

[boilingpoint]

I'm not a materialistic person at all. I dated a lady once, drove an old beat-up rust laden SUV and insisted it was from her father (who died) and held sentimental value. A few weeks in she admitted she was bankrupt and it's all she had to drive. She lost her job couldn't pay bills, current job didn't pay enough etc. What made me end it with her is she took no responsibility for her financial issues instead blaming banks (to an extent I agree with) and her family, friends etc but never herself.

 

 

Moral of my story if I date someone and they show up in a heap of $hite car I will have to assume, 1 poor, 2 bankrupt, 3 can't manage their finances, 4 leaving after coffee never to see them again. Hate to be like that but I wasted a good few months on that lady. I've perfect credit and next to no debt. I can't have some fully grown child ruin me like they did themselves.

 

But the fact is your still judging someone superficially. There could be a million reasons he drives a crap car - he likes the car, he got fired from his job and is low on money, he can't sell it so he's milking it before it breaks down etc etc.

 

This has EVERYTHING to do with status and hypergamy.

 

OP - if you want to marry up then his car suggests he's not for you (i.e. you have a better car than him.)

 

Personally if I liked a girl I wouldn't care what car she drove but that's just me. I'd be more inclined to judge a girl negatively if she was 18 and drove a BMW because it screams spoilt princess... but if I liked her it still wouldn't matter.

[Gaeta]

Do you really think he let his car fall apart? I'm willing to bet this is how he bought it because this is what he can afford.

 

He didn't pay more than $50 for it then. You can get a better car for $500 I am not kidding you!

 

I bet you he has a super big screen tv though.....

[amaysngrace]

No no no no and no.

 

The guy I was talking about, my friends husband who drives the beater pick up? His truck floods all the time. And he use to own partnership in an automotive repair gig. He knows how to fix a car!

 

And this man looks like a SLOB. He walks around looking like a mess almost always. But yes he gets his dental check ups and yes he has nice clothes but he gets dirty a lot working his ass off. So why should he ruin his nice clothes?

 

Thing is he mostly always looks like a dirty slob in a crappy truck because he doesn't take a lot of down time.

 

But oh...those eyes!

[HappyLove]

To answer your question. No, I wouldn't date someone with a really bad car.

[Gaeta]

 

OP - if you want to marry up then his car suggests he's not for you (i.e. you have a better car than him.)

 

 

Why people assume I want someone with money just because I don't want to date a man driving a piece of junk! Like I said I don't care if he drives a Buick 1974!! as long as it's been maintained.

[somedude81]

I'd date a woman even if she didn't have a car.

 

But this is a double standard and a man's car is part of his image.

 

A man should maintain a clean car if he wants to have a woman inside it.

[boilingpoint]

To answer your question. No, I wouldn't date someone with a really bad car.

 

Let me take a wild guess here.... you're a woman.

[Emilia]

And this man looks like a SLOB. He walks around looking like a mess almost always. But yes he gets his dental check ups and yes he has nice clothes but he gets dirty a lot working his ass off. So why should he ruin his nice clothes?

 

Thing is he mostly always looks like a dirty slob in a crappy truck because he doesn't take a lot of down time.

 

But oh...those eyes!

A shower takes 10 minutes. It's one thing to wear your work clothes a lot as builders perfectly reasonably do and another to look like a dirty slob. Makes my point even more so, this kind of thing has nothing to do with money.

[Chemist]

Why people assume I want someone with money just because I don't want to date a man driving a piece of junk! Like I said I don't care if he drives a Buick 1974!! as long as it's been maintained.

 

you're missing the point that no amount of maintenance is going to stop rust. So he has to buy a new car. Maybe he is practical and is like, well this one still drives, why should I buy a new car?

 

I knew a single dad once with two kids, he was a mechanic. He worked two jobs to support his kids, own a house, etc... his car was a **** bucket because he could fix it and he didn't have money. He was hard working, honest, and caring. He had character. He didn't have a beautiful car and a date with you, obviously.

[Emilia]

Why people assume I want someone with money just because I don't want to date a man driving a piece of junk! Like I said I don't care if he drives a Buick 1974!! as long as it's been maintained.

Because some men can't deal with the expectations placed on them in society. Best to ignore...

[Toodaloo]

I wonder, if 150 years ago, people would look at their partner's horse. No, they wouldn't, .

 

Actually they did very much so and the state of your horse was a matter of pride an honour whether you liked the beasts or not... To turn you horses out in a poor manner was utterly unforgivable...

 

Perhaps I was born in the wrong century as my horses are immaculately kept, I often receive lovely comments and compliments about how well they look and how wonderfully they are looked after, my car is a heap... even my loved ones complain about it and wish I kept my car the same way as I keep my house and yard...

 

So I have digressed...

 

Geata - its not safe to drive round in a badly maintained car... Its like dating a guy who likes to take his early morning run round the M25 at rush hour. Chances are he would be OK but its a stupid risk to take.

 

I don't think your being judgemental just concerned for your safety. No bad thing...