boilingpoint Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 pretty much sums it all up 7 Link to post Share on other sites
WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 pretty much sums it all up I couldn't help but laugh at this lol Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Maybe he can't afford a new one right now? My car isn't in the best condition. The right front bumper is off a little bit. Guys have never been offended. Personally I can't afford a different car right now. Maybe the guy is in the same position. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Brooke02 Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 I would also factor in if he has a good job, his own place. I would be able to except the old car. Although would it mean me driving everywhere? That I would not like. Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 ask him why the beater. If answer works for you then proceed otherwise move along to another gent Link to post Share on other sites
True Gent Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 (edited) If you found his car offensive, maybe you should of asked him about it whilst on the date? He may have more than one car, he may be an enthusiast and he's bought it as a project, or maybe he just doesn't care about cars at all and sees it purely as a means of transport and thinks " why waste money on a lump of metal?" I personally have two cars, one I've owned from new for 10 years. It's so clean I enter it into shows and I came 3rd in a show last year. This can be a turnoff to some women as most will asume the car will receive more attention than they will. I turn up on dates in my daily runabout because I can park it anywhere and not worry about how safe it is or isn't etc... Ok so it's not full of rust holes and it is clean, but it is a very modest and cheap car. I rely on how I present myself when on a date rather than what image my car portrays, because the car I turn up in is no reflection on me or my personality. If he himself was well presented I'd give him a chance and find out about him and what he is actually like as a person. The car doesn't tell the whole story. Edited October 15, 2014 by True Gent 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Don't men take pride in what they ride? "A woman's test in life is material. A man's test in life is a woman. Men have nice cars, not because they like nice cars, but because they know women like nice cars" - Dave Chapelle 4 Link to post Share on other sites
boilingpoint Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 I think the problem is that OP didn't really like the guy that much and is wondering whether to see him again. The beat up car is just a symbol of that connection (or lack of). I say give him another date to see if he sparks your interest at all and if not then just end it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 "A woman's test in life is material. A man's test in life is a woman. Men have nice cars, not because they like nice cars, but because they know women like nice cars" - Dave Chapelle I like nice(and fast) cars and trucks because thats what I like.Ive been this way for 35+ years.....I couldnt care less what Rebecca, Donna or Dave Chapelle thinks.. TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 I would date him but I wouldn't ride in his car. The guy I lived with for a decade drove a rust bucket when we 1st met but it had a great engine & sentimental value. His next car wasn't much better. This guy earned 6 figures he just wasn't a car guy. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 IME, it depends. With the locals, field cars abounded so I often did date some ladies with pretty interesting cars. Fortunately, they dated someone who could fix them. I didn't really see it as an issue. Other than my shiny pieces for track or show, a car is simply transportation from A to B. However, the city gals were a different story. Didn't date too many of those because of 'lifestyle' differences, and I did see some traction to what Chris Rock was getting at. Socioeconomics did come into play, and I'm seeing a bit of that reading this posting. Perhaps it's simply a lifestyle incompatibility. No harm, no foul. Just a miss. Had plenty of those. Still breathing. My advice to OP is, if this issue overshadows your desire to spend time with this guy, move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Why exactly is it important ? Are we obligated to spend thousands of dollars on a car we may not even need just so women can judge us based solely on a material possession rather than who the person is it even what they look like? This honestly just sounds like SEARCHING for reasons to discard him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
oberkeat Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 I drive a nice car. As far as I can tell, girls don't care what vehicle I drive. If my car was all that mattered to them, I'd have a lot more dates. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 YMMV but my experience has been that there are certain thresholds to 'getting an interview' and socioeconomics and looks are strong amongst them. Potentials without the required credentials need not apply or, if they do apply, their request for an interview is denied. Conversely, just because one has the social/financial creds and looks doesn't mean they get past the interview or get a date or a mate. Those aspects are simply factors facilitating time efficiency. Think of it as mate triage. Since each person runs their own software on this, the parameters vary. What the OP sets as a fail might not be a fail for another woman, or the fail level could be substantially more profound for yet another woman. Everyone's different. I had to laugh because I remember when my exW and I were dating she mentioned part of my 'creds' (not her word but that's the gist) was that I had a house, a car and a decent wardrobe. She miscalculated on the family wealth part but no one's perfect. Other women had their entrance exams. Some I passed; some I failed. Since relationships are completely voluntary, it's all good. That's life! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 I'd have to pass. But on the other end of the spectrum, you have someone like my ex, who drove a very nice car but was vain, arrogant, and kind of an ******* 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Yes, I would. I might not ride in it if it didn't same safe, though. I really don't car about cars beyond safety. I'd probably feel happy that I found a kindred spirit 2 Link to post Share on other sites
longjohn Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 But the fact is your still judging someone superficially. There could be a million reasons he drives a crap car - he likes the car, he got fired from his job and is low on money, he can't sell it so he's milking it before it breaks down etc etc. This has EVERYTHING to do with status and hypergamy. OP - if you want to marry up then his car suggests he's not for you (i.e. you have a better car than him.) Personally if I liked a girl I wouldn't care what car she drove but that's just me. I'd be more inclined to judge a girl negatively if she was 18 and drove a BMW because it screams spoilt princess... but if I liked her it still wouldn't matter. I and many others have been burnt in the past by trying to look past the old run down car however there are reasons and if those reasons are a fully grown adult not taking responsibility then that's good enough to not date them. What do you expect myself and others to think when the next girl rolls up in an old beat up car.. we think, been here done this and got the tshirt.. next. It's sad but true. Why waste time? I personally don't arrive to meet a date without dressing nicely, casual but nice. When I did drive an older car I ensured it was washed and cleaned inside and out. The vehicle is in part a representation of the person your dating. I try to take pride in how I present myself on a date and pride in the vehicle I've arrived in. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 I drive a nice car. As far as I can tell, girls don't care what vehicle I drive. If my car was all that mattered to them, I'd have a lot more dates. I have nice cars too. It's not just for women. A lot of the things I have upgraded on the car, like; suspension, harder bushings, lighter wheels, tires that perform better (and not just look nice) and more.....are completely not noticable. However, the deep dark red leather interior was choosen with women in mind. Although I do like it as well, but would have probably just gone with black leather. And going with the 6-speed manual instead of the faster auto with paddle shifters (trust me, women for some reason get aroused ....when you work the stick). The car's no guarantee, but it did help many times. I am sure a decent car (well maintained, clean and economical) would have gotten me the same results in many cases. But I am sure if I were in a junker that barely runs, the results would be much less favorable. We don't meet women in our cars? This is true, but you also don't go from 1st base to home base when you just met either. Usually. Everything sets a tone for how things go. I think everybody is superficial. Some people just come up with different reasoning around their superficial likes/dislikes. Women like ambitious and well educated men. Cause.....you're more likely to do well financially. I like women that take care of themselves and are concerned about their health and well being. Cause they're more likely to have a good looking body and stay that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Brooke02 Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 I and many others have been burnt in the past by trying to look past the old run down car however there are reasons and if those reasons are a fully grown adult not taking responsibility then that's good enough to not date them. What do you expect myself and others to think when the next girl rolls up in an old beat up car.. we think, been here done this and got the tshirt.. next. It's sad but true. Why waste time? I personally don't arrive to meet a date without dressing nicely, casual but nice. When I did drive an older car I ensured it was washed and cleaned inside and out. The vehicle is in part a representation of the person your dating. I try to take pride in how I present myself on a date and pride in the vehicle I've arrived in. I agree, after my last relationship with almost no car, they must have a decent car. It doesn't have to be new, but reliable and decent. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Never judge a book by its movie. Never judge a person by his car. Never judge a lady by her lover. Unless you want to host your own talk show. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
tikay00 Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Would not factor into anything. Don't care if you lived in Compton, and had a run down looking house. As long as it's clean on the inside, and neat. I can't date you if you're messy, and dirty, smell, or just unhygienic. I'm a guy by the way. Link to post Share on other sites
boilingpoint Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 (edited) I and many others have been burnt in the past by trying to look past the old run down car however there are reasons and if those reasons are a fully grown adult not taking responsibility then that's good enough to not date them. What do you expect myself and others to think when the next girl rolls up in an old beat up car.. we think, been here done this and got the tshirt.. next. It's sad but true. Why waste time? I personally don't arrive to meet a date without dressing nicely, casual but nice. When I did drive an older car I ensured it was washed and cleaned inside and out. The vehicle is in part a representation of the person your dating. I try to take pride in how I present myself on a date and pride in the vehicle I've arrived in. What are you on about? If the person had loads of junk in his/her car or house then yeah, it's over. I get it. If it's just because the car is a rusty old banger it's not the same. In that case being burnt has nothing to do with the car. It has to do with the person driving it. You're equating responsibility with having a nice, well maintained car - that doesn't really follow. Maybe he/she just doesn't care much for cars in general. It's like with mobile phones. Some people don't care about mobile phones so theirs is all old, beat up and cracked. Doesn't mean they don't care about themselves or you for that matter. Edited October 15, 2014 by boilingpoint 3 Link to post Share on other sites
WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 It's like with mobile phones. Some people don't care about mobile phones so theirs is all old, beat up and cracked. Doesn't mean they don't care about themselves or you for that matter. I agree with this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
longjohn Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 What are you on about? If the person had loads of junk in his/her car or house then yeah, it's over. I get it. If it's just because the car is a rusty old banger it's not the same. In that case being burnt has nothing to do with the car. It has to do with the person driving it. You're equating responsibility with having a nice, well maintained car - that doesn't really follow. Maybe he/she just doesn't care much for cars in general. It's like with mobile phones. Some people don't care about mobile phones so theirs is all old, beat up and cracked. Doesn't mean they don't care about themselves or you for that matter. What I'm "on about" is simple. If someone shows up in a heap o'$hite car what does that tell you about the driver. From my own personal experience it tells me the driver is likely broke/bankrupt or hasn't/isn't taking financial responsibility for themselves. I hate to be like that but I'll also not date women that lives at home. I don't care much for cars in general but guess what I care enough to ensure it runs well, it's clean and maintained. In my mind and I know we're all different here in how we view things. To me the vehicle is a reflection upon the driver and if they don't care about the car do they care about themselves or will they care about me and my things? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Sorry I didn't read the whole thread. Do you like the guy? If you do then do date #2. Was he a gent? Was he talkative? Funny? My dream man would own an old style VW Beetle or Camper. Maybe his car is just his means of transport and not a passion. You will find out later whether care for his car translates to lack of care in other areas of his life. Does he live in a studio? Sorry! Had to ask! Ignore that! Link to post Share on other sites
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