OLD how many messages before you give up?

[kolleamm]

I've recently started doing OLD again since my last relationship failed. I know I've been the type to stay away from it, but lately I've been noticing that women I meet in real life do not act that much more different than the ones online.

 

I've been on/off Okcupid for about 4 years now. Just recently I even had a date off of the website but it did not go well at all. She practically kept to herself the whole time no matter how talkative and welcoming I was and I'm guessing just practically used me for a free meal. Anyways I know OLD takes lot's of patience and I do get a few responses here and there but my question is---

Is it really a numbers game, or is it one of those things that after you send about 1000 messages out without success you might as well give up?

 

I get that you have to keep trying no matter what, but at what point without success are you supposed to realize that maybe it's just not working out for you?

[d0nnivain]

In regular mass marketing for business anything around a 5% return on investment is considered an outstanding result. Meaning if you send out 100 invitations, if 5% respond back at all, even negatively, you are ahead of the curve.

 

I have to image that for something as personal as OLD, that number has to be be even lower, like a 2% ROI if that.

 

When it becomes a chore & no longer fun I'd stop. You have a better chance to meet somebody if you are in the best frame of mind & enjoying yourself.

[quidproquo89]

try to meet women in real life and only take OLD with a pinch of salt because people are extremely picky, superficial and flaky on OLD.

 

Try to enjoy single life and just keep your options open. Get out there in places where you can meet people. Join clubs, play sports, work parties, colleges etc.

 

Good luck

[normal person]

Don't message girls blindly. Stick to just the girls who wink/like/message you first and you'll have a 100% success rate. Then you're picking from a pool of women who already want to go out with you. Send one calm message and don't overdo it:

 

"Thanks for 'liking,' I'll bite. [innocent question][small joke]."

She'll respond.

"Hah, [quick response to whatever she said]. Anyways, I always find this messaging stuff to be a bit tedious. You seem nice enough so why don't you give me your number, I'll text you a little and then take you somewhere nice next week, cool? If not, best of luck on here!"

 

Works every time.

 

try to meet women in real life and only take OLD with a pinch of salt because people are extremely picky, superficial and flaky on OLD.

 

That hasn't been my experience at all.

[quidproquo89]

Don't message girls blindly. Stick to just the girls who wink/like/message you first and you'll have a 100% success rate. Then you're picking from a pool of women who already want to go out with you. Send one calm message and don't overdo it:

 

"Thanks for 'liking,' I'll bite. [innocent question][small joke]."

She'll respond.

"Hah, [quick response to whatever she said]. Anyways, I always find this messaging stuff to be a bit tedious. You seem nice enough so why don't you give me your number, I'll text you a little and then take you somewhere nice next week, cool? If not, best of luck on here!"

 

Works every time.

 

 

 

That hasn't been my experience at all.

 

perhaps your incredibly attractive and have had a good deal of luck. But most women don't tend to send the first message. OP as a male OLD member must send the first message.

 

It isn't blind to message girls you like

[kolleamm]

Stick to just the girls who wink/like/message you first and you'll have a 100% success rate. Then you're picking from a pool of women who already want to go out with you.:

 

Although this may be true, over the course of 4 years this has only happened once. I'm not waiting that long.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

How many dates have you had in 4 years?? I don't get it. Your pic on here is cute as a button from what I can see. What's your actual profile like?? Can I check it out? I know I'm a female, so it's not the same, but I had success with OLD and I can tell you what attracted me. I initiated contact with a lot of guys based on the content of their profiles.

[True Gent]

Don't message girls blindly. Stick to just the girls who wink/like/message you first and you'll have a 100% success rate. Then you're picking from a pool of women who already want to go out with you. Send one calm message and don't overdo it:

 

 

Whilst I agree it is pretty much a 100% success rate if you stick to the girls who show some interest in you first, you also have to like them too. If you only receive messages from girls you aren't attracted to then it's not going to be a success.

[True Gent]

Although this may be true, over the course of 4 years this has only happened once. I'm not waiting that long.

 

Going off your avatar pic I'd say you're a decent enough looking guy, so one girl approaching you in 4 years of OLD seems a little odd. Could you improve your self write up in any way do you think?

 

This year I've been out with 10 women form OLD who approached me first. There have been countless women I have ignored because they weren't my type. I'm not the cliche tall and dark so maybe you just need to make a few profile tweaks.

[normal person]

Whilst I agree it is pretty much a 100% success rate if you stick to the girls who show some interest in you first, you also have to like them too. If you only receive messages from girls you aren't attracted to then it's not going to be a success.

 

That pretty much goes without saying. I only go out with the girls I'm attracted to and it's been nothing but a success. I'd say I go out with about 1 out of every 30 who messages or likes. And then I only like a small percentage of those. The only disadvantage is that it's time consuming. It's usually pretty hard to tell if you're going to like someone until you meet them. However I could tell the girls I'd want to see again even before we met because they always have a sense of humor and a playful back-and-forth sort of banter.

[Keenly]

Don't message girls blindly. Stick to just the girls who wink/like/message you first and you'll have a 100% success rate. Then you're picking from a pool of women who already want to go out with you. Send one calm message and don't overdo it:

 

"Thanks for 'liking,' I'll bite. [innocent question][small joke]."

She'll respond.

"Hah, [quick response to whatever she said]. Anyways, I always find this messaging stuff to be a bit tedious. You seem nice enough so why don't you give me your number, I'll text you a little and then take you somewhere nice next week, cool? If not, best of luck on here!"

 

Works every time.

 

 

 

That hasn't been my experience at all.

 

Do we live on the same planet? Women don't message men first. I've gotten less than five in the two years I've used on OLD. Probably less than one one hundredth of one percent of my profile views.

 

 

 

I did about 800, gave up. Got that number to 1500, gave up again . At the beginning of October I got that number up to well over 2000 sent, with absolute garbage responses. Jesus, at least pretend like your putting effort into a conversation when I ask about your favorite book.

 

 

 

Its pretty worthless. Get off OLD if you put zero effort into meeting some one ladies.

[True Gent]

Do we live on the same planet? Women don't message men first. I've gotten less than five in the two years I've used on OLD. Probably less than one one hundredth of one percent of my profile views.

 

 

 

I did about 800, gave up. Got that number to 1500, gave up again . At the beginning of October I got that number up to well over 2000 sent, with absolute garbage responses. Jesus, at least pretend like your putting effort into a conversation when I ask about your favorite book.

 

 

 

Its pretty worthless. Get off OLD if you put zero effort into meeting some one ladies.

 

I have to disagree with you and say that women can and often do make the first move OLD. This year I have lost count of how many winks/messages I've received from women on various sites. True I don't like them all, but I've met 10 of them so far.

 

I'm not a stereotypical God like creature as I mentioned earlier. There must be room for improvement with the profile write ups if you are getting zero interest.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Personally, I preferred to reach out myself to those I found interesting. I used POF and OKC at the time and on POF I kept my profile hidden (it was free then), just so I could only communicate with those I was interested in. I wasn't interested in the "ego boost" of an inbox filled up with messages from people I did not want to interact with. I was a sucker for well written, witty, original profiles. Profiles that displayed a little humor and made me smile.

[gaius]

Once she views your profile it means she finds you physically attractive. She doesn't even need to send you anything. So from there it just becomes an issue of distinguishing yourself and figuring out how she likes to be talked to. If you're having such a low success rate you're probably not doing either very well.

 

Kolleam, do you ever put yourself inside a woman's head and try to figure out a line of conversation she can relate to? There's no way a girl sat there for an hour being silent just for a free meal, you just didn't bring up anything that made her bloom.

[somedude81]

OLD is nothing more than a man catalog.

 

Messaging women first is a waste of time and effort.

 

Make your profile the best you can and just wait.

[normal person]

Do we live on the same planet? Women don't message men first. I've gotten less than five in the two years I've used on OLD.

 

I'm not entirely sure. You saying you get messaged once a year sounds just as odd to me. I've gotten at least a thousand messages/likes/winks in the last year and a half. I don't know anything about you, and I'm certainly not insinuating anything about you. But I think in general if you're a guy and you need to message girls, you missed a step somewhere.

 

The crux of OLD is that you can't be average. I honestly think it's Darwinism. If you want something, you should be adapting yourself to get it. The guys who have figured out how to rise above the pack of faceless, not particularly exciting, standard issue dudes will be the successful ones. Everything about you and your profile needs to be better what she's used to seeing. If you've been working hard and learning from your mistakes your whole life, then by your mid to late 20s you should have enough experience with women, a lot of career success, presence of mind, and self awareness to present yourself in an attractive, funny, and engaging way that will make women come to you. It's an amazing tool if you've made yourself worth seeing. But that's a very necessary "if."

[somedude81]

I've gotten at least a thousand messages/likes/winks in the last year and a half

 

ROFL!

 

Assuming you are being truthful, then you must be ridiculously good looking.

 

Which of course means that your overall dating experience has been far from normal.

 

You really should change your forum name.

[carhill]

Get out of San Pedro

 

If you've sent anywhere near 1000 messages and spent four years in OLD, you have my sincere sympathies and respect. No way could I have lasted that long. Last time OLD and I interfaced, I messaged two ladies and dated two ladies, both a bit over a month and four or five dates. That was while I was separated. Before that, first lady I messaged on OLD after taking a break from it while traveling to the FSU/CIS became my wife.

 

Lest you think I was 'successful', I couldn't get laid for all of my 20's and most of my thirties and bombed horribly with newspaper, phone and real life dating, though seemed to be a MW magnet. OLD, for some reason, worked great. Too bad I didn't discover it until 1995.

 

IMO, get out of San Pedro and try some different scenery. That's what OLD did for me. Dated a woman from another part of the state, a couple ladies from another part of the world and married one from a town an hour away by car. Locally it was bupkis. Heck, today, I can go to Match and expect to see no more than a dozen ladies from around here, and that's from age 18-99. Fortunately, you have more to choose from but they're all telling you to leave

 

Good luck!

[Cristo]

I'm not entirely sure. You saying you get messaged once a year sounds just as odd to me. I've gotten at least a thousand messages/likes/winks in the last year and a half. I don't know anything about you, and I'm certainly not insinuating anything about you. But I think in general if you're a guy and you need to message girls, you missed a step somewhere.

 

The crux of OLD is that you can't be average. I honestly think it's Darwinism. If you want something, you should be adapting yourself to get it. The guys who have figured out how to rise above the pack of faceless, not particularly exciting, standard issue dudes will be the successful ones. Everything about you and your profile needs to be better what she's used to seeing. If you've been working hard and learning from your mistakes your whole life, then by your mid to late 20s you should have enough experience with women, a lot of career success, presence of mind, and self awareness to present yourself in an attractive, funny, and engaging way that will make women come to you. It's an amazing tool if you've made yourself worth seeing. But that's a very necessary "if."

 

I call bullsh*t on this.

 

Personally, I've done so-so on OLD. I really wasn't on there much. I messaged around maybe 50 girls in the past 4 years and had 5 dates (all of whom were lower quality than what I get IRL).

 

To be honest, I barely see any girls that I actually WANT to message on OLD (most of them have kids, too many tattoos, nothing to offer, or just sound nasty in their profiles).

 

In any event, I seriously doubt that you had thousands of girls message you in 1.5 years, to the point that I'm actually literally LOLing right now.

[Keenly]

ROFL!

 

Assuming you are being truthful, then you must be ridiculously good looking.

 

Which of course means that your overall dating experience has been far from normal.

 

You really should change your forum name.

 

I don't buy it at all.

 

Then again... I'm still waiting for that Nigerian prince to route my money back.

[Keenly]

Get out of San Pedro

 

If you've sent anywhere near 1000 messages and spent four years in OLD, you have my sincere sympathies and respect. No way could I have lasted that long. Last time OLD and I interfaced, I messaged two ladies and dated two ladies, both a bit over a month and four or five dates. That was while I was separated. Before that, first lady I messaged on OLD after taking a break from it while traveling to the FSU/CIS became my wife.

 

Lest you think I was 'successful', I couldn't get laid for all of my 20's and most of my thirties and bombed horribly with newspaper, phone and real life dating, though seemed to be a MW magnet. OLD, for some reason, worked great. Too bad I didn't discover it until 1995.

 

IMO, get out of San Pedro and try some different scenery. That's what OLD did for me. Dated a woman from another part of the state, a couple ladies from another part of the world and married one from a town an hour away by car. Locally it was bupkis. Heck, today, I can go to Match and expect to see no more than a dozen ladies from around here, and that's from age 18-99. Fortunately, you have more to choose from but they're all telling you to leave

 

Good luck!

 

Oh god. Newspaper dating.

[carhill]

Yes, the 'PERSONALS'

 

Oh, the horrid flashbacks!

[bluestealth]

So, what's it mean when a woman views your profile and likes your picture but doesn't respond to a message? What if a woman views your profile and actually sends a message but doesn't respond again? On POF I get some women who want to "meet me" but they don't respond. I've also had several women respond to my first message and then drop off the planet. Virtually no one wants to talk on the phone or commit to meeting. I've concluded that nearly everyone online aren't taking it serious, always think something better is coming along, or they're so afraid to pick the wrong one they never move forward. It's pretty ridiculous but I'm not finding too many prospects in real life either.

[jay1983]

I gave up after a month. Getting an email that someone rated me hot. Looking at there profile and trying to come up with clever message, only to get dragged along. That shyt consumed way too much time, only to frustrate me.

[normal person]

I call bullsh*t on this.

In any event, I seriously doubt that you had thousands of girls message you in 1.5 years, to the point that I'm actually literally LOLing right now.

 

Thousands of messages? No. Thousands of likes/winks? Definitely. Nearly 900 on this one alone.

 

http://s27.postimg.org/4vuz13t1v/profilelikes.jpg

 

I don't buy it at all.

 

ROFL!

 

Assuming you are being truthful, then you must be ridiculously good looking.

 

Which of course means that your overall dating experience has been far from normal.

 

 

You guys are too funny. What do you think I have to gain by lying to a bunch anonymous strangers on the internet?

 

Here are the inboxes, mostly from today: http://s30.postimg.org/eq45kdfpd/OLDMessages2.jpg

 

Check the times and dates. Here's another I had from the last time someone didn't believe me:

 

http://s7.postimg.org/ls9o22kuj/MATCHOKC.gif

 

If I get that many in a day you can see how I'd easily have over 1000 in a year and a half. Any more doubters? I can give you dozens more pages of emails like that.

 

You can believe me or not, I don't care. I'm trying to help you. You need to stand out, you can't just phone it in, write a profile and expect that to be "enough." You need something appealing, intriguing, etc. So what is it about you? If you don't have it, OLD probably isn't your best avenue to meeting women. Just stick to trying to meet girls in real life, it might actually be easier for you.