OLD how many messages before you give up?

[quidproquo89]

Whilst I agree it is pretty much a 100% success rate if you stick to the girls who show some interest in you first, you also have to like them too. If you only receive messages from girls you aren't attracted to then it's not going to be a success.

 

a very attractive nice girl messaged me in February this year. We really hit it off on the first date. She said very intimate things leading to the second date. I made out with her and we held hands on the second date.

 

She was insecure with intimacy and there was never a third date. The confusion of which lead me to the welcome mat of loveshack in March this year. There is never 100% success rate!

[quidproquo89]

I have to disagree with you and say that women can and often do make the first move OLD. This year I have lost count of how many winks/messages I've received from women on various sites. True I don't like them all, but I've met 10 of them so far.

 

I'm not a stereotypical God like creature as I mentioned earlier. There must be room for improvement with the profile write ups if you are getting zero interest.

 

what site do you use? pof, women rarely ever message first, maybe pay sites are different

[quidproquo89]

OLD is nothing more than a man catalog.

 

Messaging women first is a waste of time and effort.

 

Make your profile the best you can and just wait.

 

true, but they rarely message first

[Cristo]

Thousands of messages? No. Thousands of likes/winks? Definitely. Nearly 900 on this one alone.

 

http://s27.postimg.org/4vuz13t1v/profilelikes.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

You guys are too funny. What do you think I have to gain by lying to a bunch anonymous strangers on the internet?

 

Here are the inboxes, mostly from today: http://s30.postimg.org/eq45kdfpd/OLDMessages2.jpg

 

Check the times and dates. Here's another I had from the last time someone didn't believe me:

 

http://s7.postimg.org/ls9o22kuj/MATCHOKC.gif

 

If I get that many in a day you can see how I'd easily have over 1000 in a year and a half. Any more doubters? I can give you dozens more pages of emails like that.

 

You can believe me or not, I don't care. I'm trying to help you. You need to stand out, you can't just phone it in, write a profile and expect that to be "enough." You need something appealing, intriguing, etc. So what is it about you? If you don't have it, OLD probably isn't your best avenue to meeting women. Just stick to trying to meet girls in real life, it might actually be easier for you.

 

To be fair, likes and even messages sometimes don't really mean anything. I just created an account on a niche dating site. I had a lot of responses, had one girl message me, and had a date where the girl wanted more all in the past month. It doesn't mean anything because I didn't meet anybody worth meeting.

 

I took my pic down about a week back and started messaging a girl. She liked me until I put my pics back up. Then she stopped responding. I get called "cute" often enough in real life to believe it to be true. This woman is a single mother with a crappy job that is average looking at best. I was giving her a shot (or so I thought apparently lol). Things are VERY skewed online.

[Cristo]

Thousands of messages? No. Thousands of likes/winks? Definitely. Nearly 900 on this one alone.

 

http://s27.postimg.org/4vuz13t1v/profilelikes.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

You guys are too funny. What do you think I have to gain by lying to a bunch anonymous strangers on the internet?

 

Here are the inboxes, mostly from today: http://s30.postimg.org/eq45kdfpd/OLDMessages2.jpg

 

Check the times and dates. Here's another I had from the last time someone didn't believe me:

 

http://s7.postimg.org/ls9o22kuj/MATCHOKC.gif

 

If I get that many in a day you can see how I'd easily have over 1000 in a year and a half. Any more doubters? I can give you dozens more pages of emails like that.

 

You can believe me or not, I don't care. I'm trying to help you. You need to stand out, you can't just phone it in, write a profile and expect that to be "enough." You need something appealing, intriguing, etc. So what is it about you? If you don't have it, OLD probably isn't your best avenue to meeting women. Just stick to trying to meet girls in real life, it might actually be easier for you.

 

Didn't notice that bottom part. Well, I'm currently a military officer (one of the things that's actually making it much more difficult to date than it should be) and my income is significantly above average. I'm also very intelligent (something that people comment on often IRL) and I'm good-looking (just not up to OLD standards apparently lol).

 

On the weekend, I usually either hang out with one of my many friends (both male and female) and do things such as wine tasting. I've also traveled the world.

 

In real life, girls seem to like me without me putting forth much effort (when I'm not in the middle of nowhere like I am right now). Women respond well to me at work and in bars (there have been times where I hit on one girl at the bar and went home with her). And many of these women have been attractive, in great contrast to my success online (where I seem to attract only the very unattractive or desperate women).

 

Clearly, there's a disconnect here. I think that there are simply a ton of much better looking guys online (so lots of competition) combined with the fact that many women online are just looking for something casual (even if they say they're not) and there's the disconnect.

 

I pretty much proved this theory to myself when I created a fake profile with a very good-looking tall guy that didn't have anything else going for him. This guy had TONS of responses from the kind of quality (looks-wise) that I get IRL. I would then message the same girl from my profile a few days later and get no responses. Interestingly, I met a girl IRL that I previously messaged on OLD (and she ignored my message) only to instantly find me attractive IRL. Go figure.

Edited October 16, 2014 by Cristo

[kolleamm]

Interestingly, I met a girl IRL that I previously messaged on OLD (and she ignored my message) only to instantly find me attractive IRL. Go figure.

 

Makes you wonder what the heck is going on with OLD. I wouldn't exactly compare OLD to be the equivalent of a tool, more like something resembling a gambling addiction where you know you chances of winning are slim, and every once in a while you win a few bucks after burning through hundreds of wasted dollars, in our case time, only to come back for more.

 

I know one should not take OLD too seriously but it still does have it's toll on your self esteem after a while.

[bluestealth]

Thousands of messages? No. Thousands of likes/winks? Definitely. Nearly 900 on this one alone.

 

http://s27.postimg.org/4vuz13t1v/profilelikes.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

You guys are too funny. What do you think I have to gain by lying to a bunch anonymous strangers on the internet?

 

Here are the inboxes, mostly from today: http://s30.postimg.org/eq45kdfpd/OLDMessages2.jpg

 

Check the times and dates. Here's another I had from the last time someone didn't believe me:

 

http://s7.postimg.org/ls9o22kuj/MATCHOKC.gif

 

If I get that many in a day you can see how I'd easily have over 1000 in a year and a half. Any more doubters? I can give you dozens more pages of emails like that.

 

You can believe me or not, I don't care. I'm trying to help you. You need to stand out, you can't just phone it in, write a profile and expect that to be "enough." You need something appealing, intriguing, etc. So what is it about you? If you don't have it, OLD probably isn't your best avenue to meeting women. Just stick to trying to meet girls in real life, it might actually be easier for you.

 

 

I think a lot of these differing results have to do with location. Someone living in NYC like yourself will naturally have a lot more activity than someone like me living in a rural area in the midwest.

[Cristo]

Makes you wonder what the heck is going on with OLD. I wouldn't exactly compare OLD to be the equivalent of a tool, more like something resembling a gambling addiction where you know you chances of winning are slim, and every once in a while you win a few bucks after burning through hundreds of wasted dollars, in our case time, only to come back for more.

 

I know one should not take OLD too seriously but it still does have it's toll on your self esteem after a while.

 

Yeah, if you're not successfully meeting women IRL (meaning that you have another source of validation that women actually find you attractive), I wouldn't do OLD. Your ego will be destroyed and you will value yourself far lower than your actual value (as a man....if you're a woman, it's the opposite).

 

OLD should be a supplement to meeting women IRL, not the primary focus.

[Lani]

Yeah, if you're not successfully meeting women IRL (meaning that you have another source of validation that women actually find you attractive), I wouldn't do OLD. Your ego will be destroyed and you will value yourself far lower than your actual value (as a man....if you're a woman, it's the opposite).

 

OLD should be a supplement to meeting women IRL, not the primary focus.

 

Baloney!

 

OP- I've found that OLD is about luck.

About you coming across her, and her coming across you, and your message being the right tone for that moment.

 

How long do you keep at it? Only you can answer that.

[Cristo]

Baloney!

 

OP- I've found that OLD is about luck.

About you coming across her, and her coming across you, and your message being the right tone for that moment.

 

How long do you keep at it? Only you can answer that.

 

LOL re-read the part that I wrote when I created the same profile. In fact, create a profile yourself as an average looking man, then a very good-looking man, then a woman. (I've actually done this)

 

I guarantee that no woman here has it nearly as bad as they think they do.

[Lani]

LOL re-read the part that I wrote when I created the same profile. In fact, create a profile yourself as an average looking man, then a very good-looking man, then a woman. (I've actually done this)

 

I guarantee that no woman here has it nearly as bad as they think they do.

 

LOL

 

Be a woman and then maybe you'll understand.

[quidproquo89]

LOL

 

Be a woman and then maybe you'll understand.

 

wouldn't that come under a different category lol?

 

The way I see it women are unindated with many many guys approaching - how on earth do they know a good one from a bad one lol.

 

A guy can put a lot of effort in approaching to keep getting the cold shoulder, rejections, friendzoned.

 

Both genders will have experience in not both but thats usual how it goes down.

 

Not turning this into a battle of the sexes - dating and especially is a bitch for all concerned. Most neutral way of putting it lol

 

Be a man and then maybe you'll understand too

Edited October 16, 2014 by quidproquo89
added more

[Cristo]

LOL

 

Be a woman and then maybe you'll understand.

 

Yes, I'm sure it must be difficult to be able to have sex with anyone you want any time you want and then be one click away from getting into a relationship with a top quality guy online.

 

Oh god! You have my most sincere condolences! What a terrible experience for you!!

[Lani]

wouldn't that come under a different category lol?

 

The way I see it women are unindated with many many guys approaching - how on earth do they know a good one from a bad one lol.

 

A guy can put a lot of effort in approaching to keep getting the cold shoulder, rejections, friendzoned.

 

Both genders will have experience in not both but thats usual how it goes down.

 

Not turning this into a battle of the sexes - dating and especially is a bitch for all concerned. Most neutral way of putting it lol

 

Be a man and then maybe you'll understand too

 

Different category entirely!

 

I've never implied either sex has an advantage when it comes to dating.

It's tough for all of us in our own ways.

The segregation of men/women/fat/short/attractive etc. is what gets me. Nobody knows what it's like in anyone's shoes so dismissing advice because of whatever factor is just plain ignorant. And in many cases on here, rude.

[Cristo]

wouldn't that come under a different category lol?

 

The way I see it women are unindated with many many guys approaching - how on earth do they know a good one from a bad one lol.

 

A guy can put a lot of effort in approaching to keep getting the cold shoulder, rejections, friendzoned.

 

Both genders will have experience in not both but thats usual how it goes down.

 

Not turning this into a battle of the sexes - dating and especially is a bitch for all concerned. Most neutral way of putting it lol

 

Be a man and then maybe you'll understand too

 

In all honesty, it's actually very easy to avoid the friendzone. If you haven't noticed this about me, I'm kind of an a**hole. If you act more like this, you will NEVER get friendzoned unless you want to be.

 

In fact, I think this is why many women have used me for sex in the past. Because I can definitely be a d*ck at times and that really turns women on sexually.

[quidproquo89]

In all honesty, it's actually very easy to avoid the friendzone. If you haven't noticed this about me, I'm kind of an a**hole. If you act more like this, you will NEVER get friendzoned unless you want to be.

 

In fact, I think this is why many women have used me for sex in the past. Because I can definitely be a d*ck at times and that really turns women on sexually.

 

i've never been friendzoned either because i make it obvious what I want from the offset. Tend have male friends too so..

[irc333]

Don't message girls blindly. Stick to just the girls who wink/like/message you first

 

That's never happened. LOL So there goes that theory.

 

 

 

I'm lucky if I date a date from online date 2 times a year. I have pretty much exhausted my options here where I live I keep seeing the same Spinsters time and time again as I've resorted to taking the "Mileage" further outward from where I live.

 

For a time, after having seen the same women constantly or they are "returns", I would wait a few weeks and email them later to see if they "overlooked" my first email or perhaps decided "Okay, all the other guys here are jerks and pervs, he's the only one that was civilized...so I'll meet up with him." Sometimes it works, sometimes not. LOL

 

But yeah, when I First starte dto online date, I would be deliberate and methodical when reading thoroughly through a profile. Noting similar beliefs, hobbies (sci-fi, which is an unusual plus) out doors/ hiking and kayaking. Board games, too are my favorite, but similar political beliefs as well.

 

I would email THOSE women specifically, only to never get a response, which I found odd....eventually I just emailed women who would even have garden variety "Vanilla" write up that sounded intelligent as I later cared not about common hobbies or interests as I think these women are just thumbing through the pictures, heights, and job status...and nothing more.

[irc333]

...to continue from my previous post is, and ironically...esp. the ones that match up very close to me...though they ignored me online, chances are they would've dated me if they met me in REAL life.

 

That's the drawback of OLD, people who would ignore you online probably would give you a shot if they met you face-to-face in real life...ie. a Meetup, group outing, etc.

[irc333]

Another thing I keep getting sick of seeing...for the 1 billionth time, women saying, "Not here to play games! If you here to get laid or a cheater, do not contact me!" (Of course, they will have nothing to do with men such as myself).

 

What's pathetic is, these women actually will think these kinds of men will STOP contacting them. LOL

[Cristo]

...to continue from my previous post is, and ironically...esp. the ones that match up very close to me...though they ignored me online, chances are they would've dated me if they met me in REAL life.

 

That's the drawback of OLD, people who would ignore you online probably would give you a shot if they met you face-to-face in real life...ie. a Meetup, group outing, etc.

 

Definitely true. But, as I said previously, the quality of women online is low anyway. So when it comes down to it, it really doesn't matter if they respond.

 

Another thing I keep getting sick of seeing...for the 1 billionth time, women saying, "Not here to play games! If you here to get laid or a cheater, do not contact me!" (Of course, they will have nothing to do with men such as myself).

 

What's pathetic is, these women actually will think these kinds of men will STOP contacting them. LOL

 

Women online are mostly looking for casual sex, but they use this defense to not look like a slut. It's akin to the commonly used phrase "I've never done this before" when she has sex with you on the first date. You both know it's BS, but she doesn't want to look like a slut.

Edited October 23, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Women online are mostly looking for casual sex, but they use this defense to not look like a slut. It's akin to the commonly used phrase "I've never done this before" when she has sex with you on the first date. You both know it's BS, but she doesn't want to look like a slut.

 

Really?? You learned that where exactly? I'm gonna let you in on a little known secret... Women don't have to look online for casual sex! Why would she look like a slut if you're having sex on the first date as well? Isn't she just following your lead? Oh, maybe she becomes a slut when you decide she isn't your type or good enough to date so you stop texting or retuning phone calls! Got it!

[True Gent]

what site do you use? pof, women rarely ever message first, maybe pay sites are different

 

I use POF, Match and I've also used Zoosk.

 

It makes zero differnce if it's a paid site or not my experience has been the same on all of them. Women definitely do make the first move.

 

I have lost count of the amount of messages, winks and 'would like to meets' I have received. It can be either a feast or a famin though... Last week I went on 3 dates with 3 women, I may well go weeks now with nothing at all.

[kolleamm]

I use POF, Match and I've also used Zoosk.

 

It makes zero differnce if it's a paid site or not my experience has been the same on all of them. Women definitely do make the first move.

 

I have lost count of the amount of messages, winks and 'would like to meets' I have received. It can be either a feast or a famin though... Last week I went on 3 dates with 3 women, I may well go weeks now with nothing at all.

 

But if your an average guy like the rest of us then it might be a different story

[normal person]

But if your an average guy like the rest of us then it might be a different story

 

You're right. OLD will be great for you if you're not an average guy. It makes average guys look worse than they are. It shines a spotlight on their mediocrity. Women are going to be particularly picky. A handful of guys at the top are going to get attention from the girls. So get to the top if you want the girls. I never said it was easy.

 

I think a lot of these differing results have to do with location. Someone living in NYC like yourself will naturally have a lot more activity than someone like me living in a rural area in the midwest.

 

Why do you think I live here? Because it's so cheap? New York has an incredibly favorable male/female ratio. You probably won't have much luck with OLD unless you live in a huge urban area. If you're in a city with less than a million people, it's not going to be easy for you. If you're in a small town, don't even bother.

 

I've pretty much optimized my life to make it as conducive to be being the best person I can be, being happy, having fun, and attracting girls as possible. If you haven't been doing that up to this point in your life (ex: you're an average guy, which is totally fine), OLD will probably be something of a non-starter for you. Like I said, you'll probably have a lot better luck meeting someone in person like the other poster. OLD is great if you fit the requirements. If you don't then I imagine it'll just frustrate you. It's probably not for everyone.

[Shining One]

There are a lot of factors to consider. Location is a huge factor. Where I live, I'm not a desired ethnicity. If I look at 20 profiles, 13 or so are already eliminated due to that. I know this is the case, so I accept that I will rarely get any initial messages (1 in 4 years) and a very low (less than 0.5%) response rate. Thus, I need to send out a much larger volume of messages to see any sort of results.

 

 

It is frustrating to say the least, but you have to play the hand you're dealt. Only you can determine when you've tried enough. As others have said, mix it up a bit when you start getting frustrated. When I'm frustrated with OLD, I'll go out, have a few one night stands, and then get back to it. Find what works for you to relieve your frustration.