OLD how many messages before you give up?

[Superman2024]

Why do you think I live here? Because it's so cheap? New York has an incredibly favorable male/female ratio. You probably won't have much luck with OLD unless you live in a huge urban area. If you're in a city with less than a million people, it's not going to be easy for you. If you're in a small town, don't even bother.

 

I've pretty much optimized my life to make it as conducive to be being the best person I can be, being happy, having fun, and attracting girls as possible. If you haven't been doing that up to this point in your life (ex: you're an average guy, which is totally fine), OLD will probably be something of a non-starter for you. Like I said, you'll probably have a lot better luck meeting someone in person like the other poster. OLD is great if you fit the requirements. If you don't then I imagine it'll just frustrate you. It's probably not for everyone.

 

 

I guess I'm screwed then, lol. I live in a small town of about 5K and the closest large city to me is 45 min away with about 750K people. I know it's more difficult in this case but not impossible. I do have a very good profile as reviewed by others.

[irc333]

I guess I'm screwed then, lol. I live in a small town of about 5K and the closest large city to me is 45 min away with about 750K people. I know it's more difficult in this case but not impossible. I do have a very good profile as reviewed by others.

 

Do what everyone does in our small town(s). Just snagged the next divorcee' before the ink on the divorce papers are even dry or start dating during her separation.

 

That's commonplace around here.

 

Also, where I live, people date and even marry their co-workers and even come to work together as sad as that sounds. LOL

[Scales]

Thousands of messages? No. Thousands of likes/winks? Definitely. Nearly 900 on this one alone.

 

http://s27.postimg.org/4vuz13t1v/profilelikes.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

You guys are too funny. What do you think I have to gain by lying to a bunch anonymous strangers on the internet?

 

Here are the inboxes, mostly from today: http://s30.postimg.org/eq45kdfpd/OLDMessages2.jpg

 

Check the times and dates. Here's another I had from the last time someone didn't believe me:

 

http://s7.postimg.org/ls9o22kuj/MATCHOKC.gif

 

If I get that many in a day you can see how I'd easily have over 1000 in a year and a half. Any more doubters? I can give you dozens more pages of emails like that.

 

You can believe me or not, I don't care. I'm trying to help you. You need to stand out, you can't just phone it in, write a profile and expect that to be "enough." You need something appealing, intriguing, etc. So what is it about you? If you don't have it, OLD probably isn't your best avenue to meeting women. Just stick to trying to meet girls in real life, it might actually be easier for you.

 

What normal person is saying isn't wrong. All the girls on OLD are looking to date the best 10-20% on there. You can succeed on OLD as man, you just need to be one of the best guys on there. Also living in a big city like NYC is a huge advantage compared to living a rural or suburban area. Being tall, somewhat athletic, and making a decent salary/education also important. Being white also helps as well. However, all of these can be over come with some decent photos and knowing how to write messages.

 

OLD is an artform different from meeting women in real life. Writing an honest profile about how you like to go hiking and how much you like Breaking Bad is not enough(actually it's terrible). It's far better to focus on choosing photos, creating an entertaining introduction, and fill out your interests minimally. Then focus on writing the message. This is where you have to stand out. Never ever imply interest in the first message, and always steer the conversation towards meeting up/getting her number. Don't message back and forth for weeks before asking her out.

 

Also, getting messages or likes isn't necessarily a good thing on OLD. A good chunk of those are going to be from fat women or single moms. No Thanks.

[irc333]

However, all of these can be over come with some decent photos and knowing how to write messages.

 

Been there, done that already. Sorry, but you can have all the decent photos and write in the most articulate fashion possible, and still have very little results. I mean, I would get an occasional impressed woman saying something like, "Wow, I really appreciate what you've written compare to the other men saying, "Hi" or "Hey" on here, but I don't think we'd make a good match."

 

I know a professional that writes professionally (he's a screen writer for local films) and engaging content and even he barely gets a response. He claims it is his height and mixed race that's causing it.

 

Hey, at least that solo one got a response, right? LOL

 

Women could have the most crappy photos out there, as long as they are from the waist up to give proof they aren't overweight, then they'll get emails.

 

What's funny is, I see tons of women online whining about, "If you just say, " Hey" or "Hi" in your email to me, I won't respond. Please say something of substance."

 

And if they get an email of substance from me, they ignore me.

[GemmaUK]

I go through phases with OLD and I'm in an 'I can't really be bothered to log in' phase just now.

The site I am on is a free UK site with a forum (not pof).

 

My current profile has no pics and just states I'm there for the forums and existing friends. If I do login though I still get mails.

 

I keep thinking about maybe making my profile active again but the things that always put me off are the angry/insulting first mails and the pushy guys who seem to think you a woman should not have a choice as to who she dates.

 

I've found as I get older (mid forties) these are most of the mails I get andit just gets tiresome.

[Keenly]

What normal person is saying isn't wrong. All the girls on OLD are looking to date the best 10-20% on there. You can succeed on OLD as man, you just need to be one of the best guys on there. Also living in a big city like NYC is a huge advantage compared to living a rural or suburban area. Being tall, somewhat athletic, and making a decent salary/education also important. Being white also helps as well. However, all of these can be over come with some decent photos and knowing how to write messages.

 

OLD is an artform different from meeting women in real life. Writing an honest profile about how you like to go hiking and how much you like Breaking Bad is not enough(actually it's terrible). It's far better to focus on choosing photos, creating an entertaining introduction, and fill out your interests minimally. Then focus on writing the message. This is where you have to stand out. Never ever imply interest in the first message, and always steer the conversation towards meeting up/getting her number. Don't message back and forth for weeks before asking her out.

 

Also, getting messages or likes isn't necessarily a good thing on OLD. A good chunk of those are going to be from fat women or single moms. No Thanks.

 

This is one of those things that people just say when its of Zero help because its not true in most cases. Most women of OLD don't search. They don't browse. They play passive. They only look at profiles of guys who message them.

 

 

I write some kick ass messages, especially when they list a mutual interest that I know a lot about. I've experienced the laziest of the lazy on OLD because online, women have the world handed to them.

 

 

Depending on the girl, 15 to 50 messages a day means you can respond to a paragraph with " yeah, mostly the comics " and some how call that a legitimate response. That's zero effort put forth.

 

 

 

All the women that say

" if you only say hi, I'll ignore your message " complain about that yet their responses are 5 words or less.

 

 

I've wait before and I'll say it again . 85 to 90 percent of the women on OLD are looking for either the attention with no intention of ever meeting some one or casual sex. Mostly the attention.

 

The attention whores make me sick.

[Snakechammah]

Hmm... I do send out messages first!!!

 

OK the thing is, in my first 4-5 days of sign up, I always get a barrage of emails (50-100+) and I REPLY to each and everyone of them. Yes, even the measly 'hi'. I have a template for that, lol. But I STILL reply POLITELY till my fingers hurt. And then, more keep coming and even guys I've never seen before start sending and before you know it, I've lost half my hair and I have to quit OLD because I am overwhelmed.

 

But... in between my endless replies, I DO browse and send messages to guys I find interesting. But the saddest part of it all, most of these guys are from faraway places, and the ones whose profiles ignite fire in my panties, are never from my hometown.

 

And MOST OF THEM don't reply back!! Even the ones from my own town, they ignore my messages lol.

 

So yes, in a girl's point of view, the guys can be arrogant too. They ignore me probably cos they think I'm a loony, who knows?

 

But my point is... I reply to all emails. Yet my own emails are being ignored by guys.

 

So there. For those dudes who have been complaining... NOW YOU KNOW. The other side of the story.

[irc333]

I write some kick ass messages, especially when they list a mutual interest that I know a lot about. I've experienced the laziest of the lazy on OLD because online, women have the world handed to them.

 

All the women that say

" if you only say hi, I'll ignore your message " complain about that yet their responses are 5 words or less.

 

Exactly! I am seeing an increase of women who have in their "About Me" section of their profile. "I hate writing about myself, if you have any questions just ask"

 

Or simply "Ask me" and that's it. Of course they have like 6 photos, but apparently they feel that men just look at the pictures and sending an email of equivalent substance something that's good enough.

 

Why tell the world about yourself if there's no initial attraction from the picture?

 

POF is turning into another "Tinder".

[irc333]

You need to stand out, you can't just phone it in, write a profile and expect that to be "enough." You need something appealing, intriguing, etc. So what is it about you?

 

I have to laugh at this. Considering this is something that's completely subjective.

[irc333]

Here's a rather crappy example of an online dating profile of an "extremely annoyed" woman:

 

**This part is extremely annoying...but for the moment.. I will say blah blah blah blah just so it can allow me to keep the dating profile up-to-date.

 

So...here goes...blah blah blah blah blah... If you have any questions, just ask.

 

I don't bite. I won't reply to stupidity... and what I mean by that is please no sexual emails. I'm not here to hook-up, ONS or to kill time because you are bored.

 

I'm hopeful in finding new friends and possibly I'll find my best friend . Good luck on your search! **

[normal person]

 

What's funny is, I see tons of women online whining about, "If you just say, " Hey" or "Hi" in your email to me, I won't respond. Please say something of substance."

 

And if they get an email of substance from me, they ignore me.

 

 

I write some kick ass messages, especially when they list a mutual interest that I know a lot about. I've experienced the laziest of the lazy on OLD because online, women have the world handed to them.

 

I'm sorry that that happens for you guys. The sad truth is that people usually have an unstated prerequisite that's something like "I have to like what I see before I respond to you with any sort of enthusiasm, or at all." You both like the same book, great. But if she's not attracted to the person she sees in the pictures, then it's irrelevant. The fabled "mutual interest" isn't so much an aspect of attraction as it is just a convenient excuse to start the conversation. You both like dogs?! You're a perfect match! Do I hear wedding bells?

 

It goes both ways. If I get a great message from a girl I'm not into, I make an excuse as to why I can't go out with her. If I get a terrible message from a very attractive girl, I usually won't just pass it up, so I have to drag some more out of her or just hope she opens up a bit when we go out. I think most guys would be the same way.

 

If you're thinking the message is the biggest key to unlocking the door, you're kidding yourselves. Look good, be happy, be accomplished, be funny, earn big first. Now you pass the initial test. Then you can send a well thought out message and she'll actually be excited to read it. If you can't do all that, then OLD is probably going to be a waste of time for you. I know that's not a quick fix or an easy solution. But that's the way it is.

 

I have to laugh at this. Considering this is something that's completely subjective.

 

It's funny how everyone doubted me, I gave you the proof and the blueprint how to do it, and you're still laughing like it's all coincidental somehow.

 

Yeah, it is subjective, but not entirely so. You can try to appeal to the greatest number of people because despite subjectivity, certain things are still inherently attractive to most. Physical attraction, for example, is subjective. A few thousand women will tell you they don't find Brad Pitt attractive. Tens of millions will say that they do, though, and it's not just coincidental. Certain qualities are just plain desirable. Have you ever heard of someone being rejected because they were too funny, too successful, too great of a person? The only people who frown on this stuff are people who are too insecure with themselves. You'll never impress everyone, but you can impress a hell of a lot if you've got it right. You'll win more than you lose.

[Cristo]

Really?? You learned that where exactly? I'm gonna let you in on a little known secret... Women don't have to look online for casual sex! Why would she look like a slut if you're having sex on the first date as well? Isn't she just following your lead? Oh, maybe she becomes a slut when you decide she isn't your type or good enough to date so you stop texting or retuning phone calls! Got it!

 

This may be true, but the VAST majority of women on dating sites are simply not dateable.

 

Here's an example: I just started talking to one yesterday. Things were going well until she started talking about sex (she brought it up). She then volunteered that she had sex with 20 guys in the past year AND currently has at least 1 or 2 FWB that please her better than any other man ever could. But she says that she's looking for a relationship.

 

This has been my general experience with women online.

[carhill]

Ha, probably a guy with a fake profile doing dating forum research

 

TBH, if I interacted with that kind of stuff for more than one subscription period, like a month, I'd be gone. No sense in pissing money down that hole.

[irc333]

 

Yeah, it is subjective, but not entirely so. You can try to appeal to the greatest number of people because despite subjectivity, certain things are still inherently attractive to most. Physical attraction, for example, is subjective. A few thousand women will tell you they don't find Brad Pitt attractive. Tens of millions will say that they do, though, and it's not just coincidental. Certain qualities are just plain desirable. Have you ever heard of someone being rejected because they were too funny, too successful, too great of a person? The only people who frown on this stuff are people who are too insecure with themselves. You'll never impress everyone, but you can impress a hell of a lot if you've got it right. You'll win more than you lose.

 

I think the ONLY success I had with women lately, esp. with the last women I dated is that they simply did not care a flip about physical appearances. The last one in question was cute, but average, but I found her adorable.

 

I only lucked out because she just didn't have a shallow bone in her body. She found me funny, confident, and just simply comfortable to spend time with.

 

There was nothing complicated about the attraction either. It went smoothly, no over analyzing, nothing like that.

[Cristo]

I'm sorry that that happens for you guys. The sad truth is that people usually have an unstated prerequisite that's something like "I have to like what I see before I respond to you with any sort of enthusiasm, or at all." You both like the same book, great. But if she's not attracted to the person she sees in the pictures, then it's irrelevant. The fabled "mutual interest" isn't so much an aspect of attraction as it is just a convenient excuse to start the conversation. You both like dogs?! You're a perfect match! Do I hear wedding bells?

 

It goes both ways. If I get a great message from a girl I'm not into, I make an excuse as to why I can't go out with her. If I get a terrible message from a very attractive girl, I usually won't just pass it up, so I have to drag some more out of her or just hope she opens up a bit when we go out. I think most guys would be the same way.

 

If you're thinking the message is the biggest key to unlocking the door, you're kidding yourselves. Look good, be happy, be accomplished, be funny, earn big first. Now you pass the initial test. Then you can send a well thought out message and she'll actually be excited to read it. If you can't do all that, then OLD is probably going to be a waste of time for you. I know that's not a quick fix or an easy solution. But that's the way it is.

 

 

 

It's funny how everyone doubted me, I gave you the proof and the blueprint how to do it, and you're still laughing like it's all coincidental somehow.

 

Yeah, it is subjective, but not entirely so. You can try to appeal to the greatest number of people because despite subjectivity, certain things are still inherently attractive to most. Physical attraction, for example, is subjective. A few thousand women will tell you they don't find Brad Pitt attractive. Tens of millions will say that they do, though, and it's not just coincidental. Certain qualities are just plain desirable. Have you ever heard of someone being rejected because they were too funny, too successful, too great of a person? The only people who frown on this stuff are people who are too insecure with themselves. You'll never impress everyone, but you can impress a hell of a lot if you've got it right. You'll win more than you lose.

 

I'm sorry, man, but I almost completely disagree with your post. After creating fake profiles and meeting women off OLD, I have come to the following conclusions:

 

1) Nearly all women that are on OLD are low quality. They usually have some major issue that prevents them from getting guys IRL (or they are just looking for casual sex). The quality women that I know IRL do not use OLD. Many never have.

 

2) It is completely based on looks.

 

3) Looks are generally objective and not subjective, as many here say.

 

I would advise the men here that are struggling with online dating to just stop doing it and focus on meeting women IRL. They will likely have better outcomes and meet higher quality women at the same time.

[normal person]

 

1) Nearly all women that are on OLD are low quality. They usually have some major issue that prevents them from getting guys IRL (or they are just looking for casual sex). The quality women that I know IRL do not use OLD. Many never have.

 

Most people (granted I never look at guys) on OLD are probably "low quality." Most people in general are probably the same way if you have standards. How many people out of 1000 do think might check all the boxes for you? For me it's maybe 5-10. There are plenty of (and I hate talking like this) "high quality" that I've met via OLD. A lot of doctors, a lot of Ivy Leaguers, an actress from a network soap opera, other actresses from TV, a Broadway star, etc. Plenty of people realize it's a really efficient way to meet people if you don't have the time or circumstances to do it otherwise. You just have to look at it with a fine toothed comb. I meet plenty of people when I'm out on the weekends, but I work from home. It's a nice a supplement. I wouldn't have met them otherwise.

 

2) It is completely based on looks.

 

Like I said, looks are usually the prerequisite. They have to like what they see before they respond. I agree with you here.

 

3) Looks are generally objective and not subjective, as many here say.

 

I would advise the men here that are struggling with online dating to just stop doing it and focus on meeting women IRL. They will likely have better outcomes and meet higher quality women at the same time.

 

I think this is just an issue of semantics. Subjective/objective, whatever it is. Certain traits are desirable to most people. So get those traits. I agree with on that too. If you struggle online, it's probably not for you. Real life interactions will probably be way more fruitful.

[Scales]

I'm sorry, man, but I almost completely disagree with your post. After creating fake profiles and meeting women off OLD, I have come to the following conclusions:

 

1) Nearly all women that are on OLD are low quality. They usually have some major issue that prevents them from getting guys IRL (or they are just looking for casual sex). The quality women that I know IRL do not use OLD. Many never have.

 

2) It is completely based on looks.

 

3) Looks are generally objective and not subjective, as many here say.

 

I would advise the men here that are struggling with online dating to just stop doing it and focus on meeting women IRL. They will likely have better outcomes and meet higher quality women at the same time.

 

I would say women on OLD are lower quality. They are all there looking to date upwards of their own value. Women often over estimate and over shoot their value by comparing everyman to what she should be able to get. If she has ever hooked up with a guy who was an 8 or above, she'll probably want only 8's and above. Those are the girls who are looking to hook up though.

 

The girls who are single moms, overweight, or over 35 are looking for stability. Your looks matter, but not as much as your standard of living. Having photos of you doing exciting stuff, a decent salary, and an overall sense of accomplishment in your profile is most effective if you're looking for meeting someone for a long term relationship

 

The trick is meeting someone who is in the middle. Great personality, no extreme red flags to speak of, and decent looking. These people are probably 5-10% or so on OLD.

 

Also, just off topic, I don't about everyone else but constructing a "well thought out" message has never worked for me. I always send a line or 2. It deals with something she wrote in her profile, and it's flirty. Like poking fun at her a little bit usually. They send back 1 or 2 lines and the flirting begins. When you write a paragraph or 2, i think it comes off as trying to hard much in the same way a person with professionally done photographs does. Maybe that sounds too "game"-ish for some people, but that's just my experience. Take what I say with a grain of salt though, I'm a 6'2" bilingual white guy in decent shape with a college degree. Things have been easier for me than most guys i imagine.

[Cristo]

I would say women on OLD are lower quality. They are all there looking to date upwards of their own value. Women often over estimate and over shoot their value by comparing everyman to what she should be able to get. If she has ever hooked up with a guy who was an 8 or above, she'll probably want only 8's and above. Those are the girls who are looking to hook up though.

 

The girls who are single moms, overweight, or over 35 are looking for stability. Your looks matter, but not as much as your standard of living.

 

I disagree with this. Single moms have been some of the worst women that I've ever met. I've generally found that if a woman is a single mom, there is a reason why this is the case (either through poor selection, cheating on her part, or general bad decision-making). These days, based on my experiences, unless a single mom is extraordinary in other ways, it's a dealbreaker.

 

Having photos of you doing exciting stuff, a decent salary, and an overall sense of accomplishment in your profile is most effective if you're looking for meeting someone for a long term relationship

 

I'm highly educated, have traveled to many different countries and did lots of cool things, and make a great salary. This does absolutely nothing on OLD with anyone. And most of these women, I would likely not even consider IRL because they are far below me in just about everything.

 

The trick is meeting someone who is in the middle. Great personality, no extreme red flags to speak of, and decent looking. These people are probably 5-10% or so on OLD.

 

I'm sure there are people like that on OLD. I can't recall any. But if there are, they certainly are not LOOKING for the same.

 

Also, just off topic, I don't about everyone else but constructing a "well thought out" message has never worked for me. I always send a line or 2. It deals with something she wrote in her profile, and it's flirty. Like poking fun at her a little bit usually. They send back 1 or 2 lines and the flirting begins. When you write a paragraph or 2, i think it comes off as trying to hard much in the same way a person with professionally done photographs does. Maybe that sounds too "game"-ish for some people, but that's just my experience. Take what I say with a grain of salt though, I'm a 6'2" bilingual white guy in decent shape with a college degree. Things have been easier for me than most guys i imagine.

 

Well thought out, flirty, spam, none really work. I think that my major issue is my height (5'6) and, secondarily, I'm not that photogenic and look much better in real life.

 

That, in a nutshell, is why I haven't had much success online.

[guest569]

OP, I don't really see it as a numbers game, I think it's just a bit of luck that you find someone you connect with. I don't write to many men, just the ones that really interest me.

 

For me, I wrote the first message to my ex shortly after he had joined. It was the first message he had received and we clicked and had a relationship. He was a real catch too. After the breakup I signed up again, was messaged by a guy who was pretty much one of 3 guys on the site who interested me and we had a brief relationship. Again I consider it luck!

 

Since the breakups I have tried getting back out there but haven't clicked with anyone, and have dated about 10 guys this year. It got to the point where I would find it a chore (as Donnovain had said, I believe it makes it harder when you're not in a positive mindset). I was just really unenthusiastic and deem each date doomed before even leaving the house. So I am throwing in the towel.

[Cristo]

OP, I don't really see it as a numbers game, I think it's just a bit of luck that you find someone you connect with. I don't write to many men, just the ones that really interest me.

 

For me, I wrote the first message to my ex shortly after he had joined. It was the first message he had received and we clicked and had a relationship. He was a real catch too. After the breakup I signed up again, was messaged by a guy who was pretty much one of 3 guys on the site who interested me and we had a brief relationship. Again I consider it luck!

 

Since the breakups I have tried getting back out there but haven't clicked with anyone, and have dated about 10 guys this year. It got to the point where I would find it a chore (as Donnovain had said, I believe it makes it harder when you're not in a positive mindset). I was just really unenthusiastic and deem each date doomed before even leaving the house. So I am throwing in the towel.

 

Sorry, but no it's not luck. You are a woman. The guys that you consider catches and "interesting" (ie: the ones that are tall with extreme good-looks) have a limited amount of options on the dating site. Even if you are partially a catch and average looking, you will have no trouble getting these men.

 

Your advice to the OP has no merit. It's like comparing apples and oranges.

[guest569]

Sorry, but no it's not luck. You are a woman. The guys that you consider catches and "interesting" (ie: the ones that are tall with extreme good-looks) have a limited amount of options on the dating site. Even if you are partially a catch and average looking, you will have no trouble getting these men.

 

Your advice to the OP has no merit. It's like comparing apples and oranges.

 

Well, no. The first guy I mentioned met 10 different girls from the site and declined invitations from many..basically had women throwing themselves at him in real world, but pursued a relationship with me. He didn't have limited options at all. What you have said about attractive men having no options is so far from the truth. I stand firmly by what I have said.

[Cristo]

Well, no. The first guy I mentioned met 10 different girls from the site and declined invitations from many..basically had women throwing themselves at him in real world, but pursued a relationship with me. He didn't have limited options at all. What you have said about attractive men having no options is so far from the truth. I stand firmly by what I have said.

 

You just proved my point. You are probably average and a partial catch. However, you shoot above your league online and ignore those in your league. So you really don't have any advice for the OP because you are one of the people he's complaining about.

[guest569]

You just proved my point. You are probably average and a partial catch. However, you shoot above your league online and ignore those in your league. So you really don't have any advice for the OP because you are one of the people he's complaining about.

 

Haha, how exactly does that prove i am "average" and a "partial catch"? I'm a pretty decent catch if i say so myself. However it doesn't mean i am only going after superstars, i desire all sorts of men for various reasons. Frankly I know a hell of a lot more about the type of men that I "shoot" for than you do.

 

Also, I am yet to see where kolleam complained about me personally, or people "like me".

Edited October 19, 2014 by smiley1

[Cristo]

Haha, how exactly does that prove i am "average" and a "partial catch"? I'm a pretty decent catch if i say so myself. However it doesn't mean i am only going after superstars, i desire all sorts of men for various reasons. Frankly I know a hell of a lot more about the type of men that I "shoot" for than you do.

 

Also, I am yet to see where kolleam complained about me personally, or people "like me".

 

All women think they're a catch. It doesn't make it so.

 

He was basically saying that he has trouble with OLD because women all go for the same men, based on looks, which is something that you confirmed in your post.

[MissBee]

Personally, I preferred to reach out myself to those I found interesting. I used POF and OKC at the time and on POF I kept my profile hidden (it was free then), just so I could only communicate with those I was interested in. I wasn't interested in the "ego boost" of an inbox filled up with messages from people I did not want to interact with. I was a sucker for well written, witty, original profiles. Profiles that displayed a little humor and made me smile.

 

Same here.

 

I will like or favorite a man's profile to grab his attention and see if when he checks my profile he likes me too and messages me first (worked with my ex) or I will message men whose profiles I find endearing: based on the things they say. Like you mentioned: well written, witty, where I can see their personalities and get a sense of how they are and what they're looking for and where I can get a smile or laugh out of it or where I want to know more. That's what attracts me personally.

 

I would much rather do that than have my inbox flooded with "His" or "So hot" or "Waddup?" or otherwise lame and boring messages or even nice messages but from men with whom I have nothing in common or don't like. It does NOT stroke my ego personally. It annoys me when a man just messages me "You're so hot" or some nonsense like that. Or getting 20 "His" isn't all that exciting either. So I find much better luck it seems when I initiate messages with the men I like. Although from time to time I may get a decent unsolicited message.