I share my experience with a married woman

[dynamicboy]

Hello all

 

 

Though this affair ended a few years ago, I want to share it with you.

 

 

I learned something about unfaithful relationships and I can tell you it was shocking to me. I feel remorse and guilty feelings

 

 

I got into a new job and a few months later this woman and I became good friends.

 

 

I was on a time when I hadn't had a girl for about 7 months so I really wanted to get laid.

 

 

Now this woman, lets call her Claudia, was on a bad mood with her husband.

 

 

She was resentful and kind of dissapointed about him. Of course she never mentioned this at the begining. It was all like "my husband is such a great man, I love him and this and this"

 

 

I kind of noticed she felt attracted to me and I did feel attracted to her, not much but enough to consider an affair.

 

 

We chatted through Facebook often and things started to get warm, then hot.

 

 

We finally confessed we liked each other.

 

 

One day, after work, we met secretly on a street close to our office building, we kissed and hughed and said we wanted so much to make love.

 

 

We arranged everything, we met next week after work.

 

 

The first thing I disliked about the whole issue was when, once inside the hotel room, her husband called her and she answered badly, putting him down and with bad manners. I thought how rude, not only she was cheating, she was behaving rude, couldn't believe. And this was the woman I was about to have sex with.

 

 

Anyway, I was so eager to have sex that we proceeded no matter what.

 

 

Sex was really, really great, wont deny this, she is great lover.

 

 

Next day she told me "I don't want this to be an affair, I want this to be a project, a long term project"

 

 

I thought she is crazy, we just barely know each other, just because we had great sex we can not be any serious.

 

 

Besides, she needs to get divorced and what about her son?

 

 

I told her "live and enjoy the moment, we don't know what the future is"

 

 

She agreed that future was uncertain but she wanted to continue anyway

 

 

About two weeks later we arranged again for a secon round.

 

 

Again, sex was soooo great, we really had great chemistry.

 

 

But soon after I started to feel bad.

 

 

We met on several ocassions after work and discussed the whole issue

 

 

I told her why you cheat your husband if you keep telling me he is such a great man?

 

 

She told me "I don't feel anything about him and I feel everything about you"

 

 

I said but you don't know me at all and you know him for more than 15 years in a row. How could I replace him? No way!! You are not thinking clearly nor wisely I said. She got dissapointed by my comments.

 

 

Her story is: her husband was her first and only boyfriend and they were together 5 years in a row before the got married. Then they got married for ten years in a row. She complained that him became lazy at bed and sex, he was not looking for her for sex. I told her but then you should try to seduce him, why not. She said I tried many times but I guess he is with another woman because he is so irresponsive with me. I told her don't jump into conclusions so fast.

 

 

But she was so resentful. She didn't feel beautiful. To be sure she is not gorgeous but she is not ugly either. She is ok. She didn't feel attractive and she thought it was her husband duty to make her feel attractive.

 

 

Then she was dissapointed her husband lost his job and got another but with less than half salary of the previous one.

 

 

In short she was resentful and dissapointed about him as a man.

 

 

And there I was helping her in her vengeance.

 

 

I felt truly bad about it. I felt ridiculous and felt I was the worst person on Earth.

 

 

I was getting great sex at the expense of someone else.

 

 

I was a loser for doing so. I thought if all I want is sex I should get it somewhere else were I do no harm.

 

 

 

 

We discussed the whole issue then she told me "I need to think about my marriage"

 

 

I said yes, its the right thing to do and in the meantime we need to stop this affair.

 

 

She said yes

 

 

But next day she told me she was angry with me, she told me I just wanted to get rid of her at first opportunity. She was right. I told her, yes, you are right, I want this to finish. She got angry. We discussed badly. I got angry, I didn't drive her home. She got even more angry, she insulted me, she called me bad words and told me Im not a real man because I didn't drive her home. I said relax.

 

 

We didn't talk for a few days

 

 

Then we agreed to meet and discuss. We both apologized for what we said last time.

 

 

We agreed to finish in good terms and remain friends

 

 

The whole affair lasted three months.

 

 

A few months later she started to send me text messages asking me nonsense. Pretext to get in contact. I answered but in a friendly manner only.

 

 

Then a common friend told me "you know Claudia ask me a lot about you, she seems she is interested and you know what, she discovered her husband is cheating her and now she tells me she wants to meet a man to have sex with as soon as posible because she is badly hurted as a result of her husband cheating her and admit to cheat her in front of her..." I told my friend I wont be that man, though she is great in bed and I badly need a woman to have sex with at this time but it wont be Claudia, no way!

 

 

She never texted me back

 

 

I see her often at the office, we remain friends and coworkers and we ocassionally chat about unimportant things.

 

 

It really didn't take any effort to dump this affair

 

 

I felt so great when this was all over

 

 

I felt so bad about me and guilty feelings still haunt me from time to time

 

 

It is strange to see her at the office as a total stranger and to think we had such great sex and now I feel nothing for her....

 

 

Cheating is horrible

 

 

I think it is worst to cheat than to be cheated.

 

 

And I tell you this, I guess women cheat because one or all of the following reasons:

 

 

a) they don't feel attractive but want a man that make them feel attractive

 

and

 

b) because they are resentful towards their men.

 

and

 

c) because they want to try another man

Edited October 16, 2014 by dynamicboy

[FusionCutter]

Thanks for sharing your story and props for doing the right thing. Affairs are pure poison to everyone involved and I'm glad you got out before the entire thing ruined you.

[Daisy2013]

When you told her "live and enjoy the moment, we don't know what the future is," what exactly did you mean? If you had really cared for her, would it mean there is no future or that you really don't know what the future holds, so let's just enjoy what we have? I've heard this line and am wondering what it means from the man's perspective. Thank you.

[FusionCutter]

What happened to Her marriage eventually? (Since you said this happened a few years ago)

[dynamicboy]

When you told her "live and enjoy the moment, we don't know what the future is," what exactly did you mean? If you had really cared for her, would it mean there is no future or that you really don't know what the future holds, so let's just enjoy what we have? I've heard this line and am wondering what it means from the man's perspective. Thank you.

 

 

 

Hello Daisy!

 

 

I meant that I was unwilling to make plans with her. I meant my brain was not into making any plans at all. I meant my mind was only focused on enjoying the moment, have sex, kiss, holding hands and be amused and going wild by the passion of the "right now" etc, etc.

 

 

Of course I was abusing language and common sense, because certainly nobody knows the future. The real point is that the future (whatever it was going to be) was not in my mind nor did I care about it. I only cared about "right now".

 

 

I treated her as if she was single but I was fooling myself. She was married and she has one son.

 

 

I know how it sounds I tell you this for sure, Im not proud about what I did, I wish I could erase this dark episode from my life.

 

 

Now, to elaborate a bit more, and set a difference, I tell you that I have been in other kind of relationships with women in different circumstances where there are some barriers and uncertainties that are out of our control but that we both have some will to be together. In such circumstances I have also said "live and enjoy the moment, we don't know what the future is," but in such other cases it has a different meaning. In such cases it means "we will try and do our best but things may go astray and fail, so don't worry we only have this moment for sure, so don't stress, relax and enjoy". It means that there is some will and there are some thoughts about the future, yet not a real commitment.

 

 

I wonder if I explained myself?

 

 

cheers

[dynamicboy]

What happened to Her marriage eventually? (Since you said this happened a few years ago)

 

I myself have asked that question in my mind.

 

 

I have no answer for that.

 

 

Im not willing to ask her directly

 

 

The common friend I mentioned above might know but Im kind of reluctant to ask her, I don't want her to misinterpret my question and think I want to restart the affair, she could go and tell Claudia "you know, he is asking me about you and your marriage".

 

 

My guess is that they broke. Claudia didn't have any respect for her husband and now that he cheated her and admited it in her face I doubt she just put up and did nothing about it.

 

 

Probably someday I will know, you know, offices, workplaces, everyone knows everything about everyone

 

 

If I know, I will come here and update

Edited October 17, 2014 by dynamicboy

[FusionCutter]

I myself have asked that question in my mind.

 

 

I have no answer for that.

 

 

Im not willing to ask her directly

 

 

The common friend I mentioned above might know but Im kind of reluctant to ask her, I don't want her to misinterpret my question and think I want to restart the affair, she could go and tell Claudia "you know, he is asking me about you and your marriage".

 

 

My guess is that they broke. Claudia didn't have any respect for her husband and now that he cheated her and admited it in her face I doubt she just put up and did nothing about it.

 

 

Probably someday I will know, you know, offices, workplaces, everyone knows everything about everyone

 

 

If I know, I will come here and update

 

When did the affair end? I wonder if she still cares about you. Of course you must still care for her.

[dynamicboy]

When did the affair end? I wonder if she still cares about you. Of course you must still care for her.

 

 

 

This affair started on january 2011 and ended on april 2011 so about 3 to 4 months.

 

 

I don't care about her. But I feel kind of compassion and sympathy about her. At first I hated her. But I hated her and at the same time I hated myself.

 

 

I hated her because she was so entitled "I need a real man, I deserve a man that makes me feel beautiful, that sparks all fires inside of me, that appreciates me" Indirectly bashing at her husband. And I hated myself because I was complicit in her cheating on him. I don't know the guy, he has done nothing bad to me and there Im screwing him and hiding. What I am? A coward?

 

 

For some time I hated Claudia because she reminded me I behaved so low and cheap. I felt cheap by being in the company of a resentful and entitled person.

 

 

I asked really deep question inside of me. The whole affair touched me deeply.

 

 

It remind me of my dad (he already passed away). I said to myself my dad would be truly disappointed at me, he was a real gentleman he would never do this kind of stuff, not even when he was single and free to go crazy, he was a man with values. He never teached me these low attitudes, why Im behaving like this?

 

 

No, I don't care about Claudia in a romantic way but I do feel compassion because I know she is unhappy, she had a really bad childhood as her dad abandoned them and she never got to knew him and her mom suffered badly. So in a way she has reasons to behave resentful and badly. But I have none so I guess in some ways my actions are worse than hers

Edited October 17, 2014 by dynamicboy

[FusionCutter]

This affair started on january 2011 and ended on april 2011 so about 3 to 4 months.

 

 

I don't care about her. But I feel kind of compassion and sympathy about her. At first I hated her. But I hated her and at the same time I hated myself.

 

 

I hated her because she was so entitled "I need a real man, I deserve a man that makes me feel beautiful, that sparks all fires inside of me, that appreciates me" Indirectly bashing at her husband. And I hated myself because I was complicit in her cheating on him. I don't know the guy, he has done nothing bad to me and there Im screwing him and hiding. What I am? A coward?

 

 

For some time I hated Claudia because she reminded me I behaved so low and cheap. I felt cheap by being in the company of a resentful and entitled person.

 

 

I asked really deep question inside of me. The whole affair touched me deeply.

 

 

It remind me of my dad (he already passed away). I said to myself my dad would be truly disappointed at me, he was a real gentleman he would never do this kind of stuff, not even when he was single and free to go crazy, he was a man with values. He never teached me these low attitudes, why Im behaving like this?

 

 

No, I don't care about Claudia in a romantic way but I do feel compassion because I know she is unhappy, she had a really bad childhood as her dad abandoned them and she never got to knew him and her mom suffered badly. So in a way she has reasons to behave resentful and badly. But I have none so I guess in some ways my actions are worse than hers

 

 

She probably stayed with him in the end. I'm glad you were able to get out before this really hurt you.

[Daisy2013]

Hello Daisy!

 

 

I meant that I was unwilling to make plans with her. I meant my brain was not into making any plans at all. I meant my mind was only focused on enjoying the moment, have sex, kiss, holding hands and be amused and going wild by the passion of the "right now" etc, etc.

 

 

Of course I was abusing language and common sense, because certainly nobody knows the future. The real point is that the future (whatever it was going to be) was not in my mind nor did I care about it. I only cared about "right now".

 

 

I treated her as if she was single but I was fooling myself. She was married and she has one son.

 

 

I know how it sounds I tell you this for sure, Im not proud about what I did, I wish I could erase this dark episode from my life.

 

 

Now, to elaborate a bit more, and set a difference, I tell you that I have been in other kind of relationships with women in different circumstances where there are some barriers and uncertainties that are out of our control but that we both have some will to be together. In such circumstances I have also said "live and enjoy the moment, we don't know what the future is," but in such other cases it has a different meaning. In such cases it means "we will try and do our best but things may go astray and fail, so don't worry we only have this moment for sure, so don't stress, relax and enjoy". It means that there is some will and there are some thoughts about the future, yet not a real commitment.

 

 

I wonder if I explained myself?

 

 

cheers

 

Yes, thank you. And thanks for sharing your story. I hope you find much happiness and love in your life!