Darren2013 Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I am beginning to think it would be a good idea for 2 people in a relationship to sign a written contract about what is expected of them if they begin to enter into an exclusive relationship. After getting past the first 4 or 5 dates I would like to know what my potential girlfriend would expect from me before we shake hands and agree to be exclusive. This should be documented in writing as to what the ground rules are and then she would have me sign it saying that I understand which violations will lead to an automatic firing and which violations are minor and would receive a warning on the first offense and restricted sex for a few weeks on the 2nd offense and then fired from the relationship on the 3rd strike. I think this kind of written contract would help guys stay on their toes and not get too comfortable in the relationship. Perhaps it would be good to renew the contract every 3 months as more ground rules need improvising. What do you think? I feel it is important to sit down and have a serious talk if things look like they are getting serious after 4 or 5 dates. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 What do I think? I think your potential girlfriends should stick with the concept of 'employment at will', and sign NOTHING! "If you are employed at will, your employer does not need good cause to fire you. In every state but Montana (which protects employees who have completed an initial "probationary period" from being fired without cause), employers are free to adopt at-will employment policies, and many of them have. In fact, unless your employer gives some clear indication that it will only fire employees for good cause, the law presumes that you are employed at will." Then they don't have to have cause to fire YOU. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 A written contract is too formal for a casual 4-5 date relationship. A healthy meaningful & honest conversation about expectations should be sufficient. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I am beginning to think it would be a good idea for 2 people in a relationship to sign a written contract about what is expected of them if they begin to enter into an exclusive relationship. They exist and they are called pre-nuptial agreements, or pre-nups. After getting past the first 4 or 5 dates I would like to know what my potential girlfriend would expect from me before we shake hands and agree to be exclusive. Too early for a pre-nup. And if you are "shaking hands" to become exclusive, you are doing it wrong. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 Yes spelling things out is good. Maybe not written but sitting down and discussing needs and wants. Things that are hard boundaries and what are soft boundaries. I have friends that weekly "check-in" with each other on how they are doing relationship wise and monthly go out and have a more indepth conversation. They view themselves as team members and partners. They decided that everyone changes and by having frequent conversations on their needs and wants and being able to discuss their feelings with each other they can adjust their marriage before they have problems. You seem like you need things spelled out, and for them to be black and white. When dealing with people that is not possible. You can and should in a serious relationship feel comfortable telling your partner things that to you are a no-go. but you will need to realize that many/most things are more grey. You need to find someone who appreciates and can adjust to your personality. But you will also need to appreciate and adjust to theirs. Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I have nothing to add to what was already said...but am I the only one here who thought 'OMG! Sheldon Cooper!' after reading OP's first line? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I'd be for it.. BJ's while watching the tonight show it is... Seriously.. no person male or female would sign one.. and it would be a legal quagmire and minefield to have one drawn up that would hold up in court.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Rules are made to be broken. Any contract is a commitment, and you don't commit to anyone at a few dates. Link to post Share on other sites
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