How do you know when someone loves you?

[Randi]

I have been dating a recently divorced guy that I have know for a few years for about six months now. I love him and truly believe that he is my soul mate, but how will I know if he is in love with me. He told me a few times when we were out drinking and he had a buzz going. He says that I am very special to him, that I make him extremely happy. We spend a lot of time together. we practically live together. I think he does love me, but is too afraid to tell me. I have already told him that I love him and he told me "don't bet on me not falling in love with you". What does he mean. Last week said I Love You while we were goofing off folding laundry and he said it back, but I think it was by accident, because it was awkawrd then. I guess I'm afraid because of his divorce and because of not knowing if he is gun shy etc. He keeps telling me that he isn't going anywhere. Can anyone offer and advice/positive reassurance on what is going on and how I can not worry so much. Thanks

 

Randi

[Shira]

Alot of men are afraid of making new commitments when they've been though a divorce. It sounds to me that he is afraid you will become too attached to him. Is is alot older than you?

 

I would try and play it cool with him for a while and see how he reacts. I know this is a frustrating "game" that men often play, but often we are too frightened to act beyond the game.

 

I know exactly what this feels like, as I was in a similar situation once. Men need too feel they have their space and freedom.

I have been dating a recently divorced guy that I have know for a few years for about six months now. I love him and truly believe that he is my soul mate, but how will I know if he is in love with me. He told me a few times when we were out drinking and he had a buzz going. He says that I am very special to him, that I make him extremely happy. We spend a lot of time together. we practically live together. I think he does love me, but is too afraid to tell me. I have already told him that I love him and he told me "don't bet on me not falling in love with you". What does he mean. Last week said I Love You while we were goofing off folding laundry and he said it back, but I think it was by accident, because it was awkawrd then. I guess I'm afraid because of his divorce and because of not knowing if he is gun shy etc. He keeps telling me that he isn't going anywhere. Can anyone offer and advice/positive reassurance on what is going on and how I can not worry so much. Thanks Randi

[Randi]

There is five years between us, I'm 27. I guess I'm confused with what he says and what he really means. He has a ten-year old child that lives with the mother, but we have him every other weekend. I try to give them father and son space, but they get upset if I say that they should spend time togeter without me. He says "Why don't you want to be with us?" It is a given almost like where he goes, I'm automatically assumed to go too. It is almost like I have become part of their family. His family has accepted me almost like I am his wife. It is quite awkward. He talks about having children, but he had a vesectomy. He says that I make his life worthwhile, that he ejoys being w/me etc. He told me that things with me were never like this with his ex-wife. I think he wants to truly tell me that he loves me. He said that the loving making is on a spiritual intimacy level. He also calls me at work to tell me he misses me. I feel as if I'm being paranoid. I am finally ready to settle down and I guess I'm afraid of getting hurt Any suggestions?

 

Randi

[palehorse]

I think you should do what is called (grab the bull by the horn's), which means that you should have a serious talk

 

with him about how you both feel about each other. Why because this is not a game and some ones time and felling's

 

is not to be taken for granted. There should be no reason why he cannot be upfront about how he feels about you.

 

I'm divorced also and one thing that I respect and value is my time as well as the next person's. Too make a long story short there is no time to waste time, get the picture.....

 

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Alot of me___________________________n are afraid of making new commitments when they've been though a divorce. It sounds to me that he is afraid you will become too attached to him. Is is alot older than you? I would try and play it cool with him for a while and see how he reacts. I know this is a frustrating "game" that men often play, but often we are too frightened to act beyond the game. I know exactly what this feels like, as I was in a similar situation once. Men need too feel they have their space and freedom.