Would you do it again?

[skywriter]

I agree, although I will say that the A has permanently damaged me. I have this fabulous single man all in right now and I cannot trust anyone. That's not fair to him! I keep thinking he's playing games or not being honest. If I made a list of all the qualities I want in a man, he fulfills them all and then some.

 

And I'm fairly sure I'm going to screw it up because my head and heart are SO messed up from everything that being in an A did to me. *sigh*

 

 

bentleychic, I'm hoping you will stay focused on all the positives, (fabulous single guy), and give yourself a chance to move on forward in life. Lesson learned from the A behind you , so that it doesn't have any power or bearing on decisions from any day forward.

 

This is not to say that taking your time and building trust with one another isn't necessary, but let it be all about the two of you. So what if the AP creeps into your thoughts from time to time. Just think it, and then humble yourself to the idea that it's all an experience that's thankfully in the past.

[Poppy47]

I would certainly not ever go back into the past affair or another.

 

Affairs are toxic dysfunctional relationships and very damaging.

 

I was in the affair for 6 years and so attached to xMm that I couldn't see how he was manipulating me.

 

It's good to be free of him.

 

Poppy

[cocorico]

 

Would any of you knowingly be the OM/OW again?

 

 

I'm happily M (to my fMM) and am not remotely interested in an r with anyone else, but, hypothetically, if at some future point I was S again, then yes, possibly, I might consider it - if, like last time, it met my needs. It would certainly be more attractive to me than a conventional dating R.

 

Would I do it (my A with my fMM) again? in a heartbeat! it has been - and still is - the best R I've ever had, and I would not pass up that chance for anything!

[lilmisscantbewrong]

No - there is nothing that was worth what I or my family had to go through. The climb back to gain my reputation back (which was shattered in an instant) has been painful and arduous.

 

And to think that I even for a minute thought that the xmom loved me? Really? He loved himself more - way more.

 

Nothing was worth the aftermath of this situation - now almost five yese later.

 

God willing I will never, ever find myself in that situation again. And I take precautions that I don't.

[Poppy47]

Just out of curiosity, why would you prefer an affair to a conventional relationship?

Cheers,

Poppy

[still_an_Angel]

Many many times I have wished we met when we were both free. Being in an A is painful. I sometimes think fate played a cruel joke. But how were we supposed to have met when he was of marrying age, I was still in school?

[SusiePie]

wow, all kinds of good answers.

 

I see that NO is the usual answer

 

Time has passed and some days, honestly, I get so pissed. At me, at him, etc... just nothing good came out of it.

 

I'm also sad how many MM try to hook up. (this is when I was online dating and they are cagey about their status at first). Many weren't unhappy with their M and were very protective about it. Just cheating "because." Still pissed at them.

 

Reading some stories here by my sisters and WOW, I actually got out fairly unscathed. So many heartbreaking stories here. Very sorry for those that got so hurt and used.

[Wambo]

I would rather have my back broken and spend months building myself up again then be emotionally torn apart.

 

Now if I could go back in time and change things then I'm not sure what I would do? The most likely option is to aviod her at all cost because it's my believe maintaining a platonic friendship was impossible. Before the friendship turned into an EA, so asking me to spend time with her outside work and I don't know if that would be enough to end her relationship with her questionable boyfriend.

[GypsumSatellite]

I wouldn't knowingly be the OW again. My awareness is high now and I unfortunately have a greater sense of mistrust of men who show interest in me.