College crush in France

[Zinaila]

Hey guys, I'm Zina and I live in France !

 

I'll try to keep it short, basically I have a crush on a guy (let's call him J) that was in my university, I didn't like him at first because he came off as pretentious, even though I didn't know him I just didn't like his behavior. Anyways, I've noticed him looking at me several times. He was usually staring at me from afar but I didn't pay attention to him. I thought he was pretty, but he looked like a player, and I'm not interested in this kind of man at all. In February, on a Tuesday night, I was feeling down because back then I was having a crush on my friend, and that night he told me he was in a relationship, he didn't know I had feelings for him, so I said to myself " You know what ? I'm a pretty girl, I'm young I'm gonna go out and do me ", my friend and I went to a restaurant we knew for a long time but we had never gone to, and surprisingly it turned out that J was working there as a waiter, he saw us looking at the menu and he told us " It's cold outside ladies, follow me inside ". I was surprised because he looked so different that I asked myself " Why do you dislike him ? ". few weeks later, I was in my university's cafeteria, I caught him staring at me while I wasn't paying attention, he was putting his coat back on, we looked at each other for a few seconds but then I looked away. I went back to the restaurant several times, but long story short, the more I went there, the more I became attracted to him, but I'm shy so I had some trouble showing him interest, and my friend even told me I looked annoyed whenever I was talking to him so I think he probably thought I didn't like him, but he was still looking at me whenever I was coming there. Anyways, I decided that I should make a move, because I was starting to really like me, I don't know why but I had a feeling we could really get along, so one day I finally asked him if he was from BM University, we started a conversation, we found out we were both studying English and he asked me if my exams went good, I felt like he was really concerned. What makes me think that he's interested is that he often talks to me even he's not my waiter, like this summer when he noticed I was there, I was already eating, he walked passed my table a few times, I was with a friend, and he stopped and told us with a gorgeous smile " I see that you're taking your time ladies ", but he looked at me while saying that. 2 months after, I came with my mother twice, 1st time he was nice to her, they joked around, but the 2nd time he was like really really nice, he recognized her and said " Hello ! How are you Ma'am ? ", even though I was there, I felt like I was invisible because they were really getting along, he told her he was studying at BM University last year (this happened nearly 2 months ago), he looked at me and said " just like you, right ? You were studying English if I'm not wrong ? " I nodded, and he asked me if I was still studying there this year, he also told me about himself, that he lived abroad for 3 years, and gave me some advice. I went back there a month ago, and that's really when I decided it was time for me to show him I like him, so when he came to take our order I asked him about his trip to Australia, we talked about it, and when he was about to go back to work he said " You know what, Poland is also great I went there and it's a beautiful country, you should see it ", I smiled and said " okay well I'll keep that in mind ". My friend told me I should smile more because it looked like I was just being friendly, not flirty. When he came with our meals, he asked me " What about you ? Where do you wanna go ? " I told him I wanted to move to Toronto he looked surprised and said " Toronto ? Oh okay, but you wanna go there like now, this month ? I heard that getting a visa for Canada is a pain in the ass though " I told him I was planning to live there next year, and he asked me if I was going to go there alone, I said " No I'm going with one of my girlfriends " he replied " Okay, well have you ever taught about going to Australia ? Because visas are really easy to get " The fact that he asked about me made me feel great, and every time we talk we always look each other in the eyes and it feels good. Unfortunately, I guess I took the situation for granted because, 1 week ago, I went there with my friend to have a drink, I thought he wasn't there this day, a waitress came to take our order, but surprisingly he was there and it was him who brought us our drinks, he asked me how I was, as usual, but he said it quietly that I wasn't sure he actually asked me, so I just said " i'm good and you " while I was checking my phone, he said " yep, great.." and went away. A few minutes later, as I was looking through the bay window, I saw him walking out from the restaurant with a girl, she touched his arm, and then my heart broke... J has a new girlfriend, I know it's entirely my fault because even if I'm shy, I didn't give him hints that I like him...

My question for you guys is, do you think he was interested but I've messed up, or do you think he was just being friendly all the time ?

 

Also, do you think there's a possibility that we could still be friends or should I just move on ?