I finally blocked him.

[irresolute]

Thank you! I agree I had no made much progress, since I still miss him and want him, that's true. At lest I haven' t met him for the last 5 months and that is a big thing for me. I don't know if this was because he truly didn't want to meet me, or because I could refrain myself from begging him to meet. I've never been ok since I met him from the first time, and I've tried no contact several times, each of those times, broke it, and met him again. It was a sick circle. I pray for this time to be different. So far, refraining myself from meeting him for so long is a success.

 

I was under the impression that you're still seeing things he's doing online via online dating websites or other mediums. After reading it again, I see that you deleted him from OLD. My fault, but good job and another step toward moving on.

 

I hope you can truly start the process of moving on, because it doesn't sound like you've made as much progress as you should have (1) after this much time, (2) after the short relationship, and (3) considering he's a Grade-A d-bag.

 

I know there's no controlling what the heart wants or how it feels, but just think how far you'd be along in the healing process if you did what you're doing now 5 months ago.

 

At least you're making positive steps, and blocking/deleting is a huge step.

[BC1980]

Is weird that I feel guilty, no? That is another clue that my relationship with him was unhealthy.

 

No, it's not weird to feel guilty for going NC or blocking someone. It took me months to go NC because I felt guilty about it. The problem is that you think he cares more than he does. I don't think he cares if he never sees you again. I know that hurts, but I had to come to the same conclusion. I spent 3 years with my ex, and he really didn't act like he cared when I said I wouldn't be talking to him again. He just said, "okay, I respect your wishes." Right then and there, I stopped feeling guilty about never talking to him. I decided that there was no way I was going to feel sorry for a guy who could be so cold to me. It was obvious that he was moving on with his life and didn't show my emotion.

 

I think it's easier in the beginning when you first block someone because you are sort of running on adrenaline. You are all fired up about moving on, ect. As the months go on, it can get harder for awhile because you realize this is really happening. You really aren't going to see him again, and he isn't coming running back. The shock has worn off, and you are settling into your new routine. I honestly think at 3 months NC, that was the most difficult time because I started to truly process that it was over for good. There would be no turning back. Just take it one day at a time. It's normal to feel all sorts of emotions, but it will level out at some point. Above all, don't be too harsh with yourself for feeling guilt, anger, sadness, ect. You feel what you feel, and it's okay. The important part is to process it, and don't give in and contact him.

[Jet Lag]

I spent 3 years with my ex, and he really didn't act like he cared when I said I wouldn't be talking to him again. He just said, "okay, I respect your wishes."

 

Oh, I got this kind of reaction too...

 

"Ok, I understand."

 

Then in a subsequent email...

 

"I'm more than happy to respect what you need and keep my distance, I understand what you are asking for. "

 

So cold.

[preraph]

You just go ahead and cry whenever and get it all out and keep trying. You're going to feel like a stripped twig for awhile, but I can tell you're not going to let these guys waste much of your time. I'm glad you gave up on the second one because you're right -- they start out that way, that's probably the best you're going to get.

[irresolute]

Dear all (zahara, are you around?)

 

Just a quick update about me. Things are going better. I got promoted at work, and Im doing good at college. Everything seem to come into place.

 

Its been 2 weeks since I blocked him and I feel...liberated? Is that the word? Well, I no longer hope for a future together, thats true. He is not the first think I think of when I wake up and not the last think when i go to sleep.

 

My life is not his anymore and I feel better. I cant wait to feel even better. This is a place Id never thought I could achieve. Not in a million years. I just have to maintain him blocked and far away from me, he is like a cancer. Thats what I think when he pops in my mind.

[Zahara]

Dear all (zahara, are you around?)

 

Just a quick update about me. Things are going better. I got promoted at work, and Im doing good at college. Everything seem to come into place.

 

Its been 2 weeks since I blocked him and I feel...liberated? Is that the word? Well, I no longer hope for a future together, thats true. He is not the first think I think of when I wake up and not the last think when i go to sleep.

 

My life is not his anymore and I feel better. I cant wait to feel even better. This is a place Id never thought I could achieve. Not in a million years. I just have to maintain him blocked and far away from me, he is like a cancer. Thats what I think when he pops in my mind.

 

Yes, I'm here.

 

Liberated is the word and it also seems that you have found another word, acceptance!

 

One of the first telltale signs of moving on was the fact that he wasn't the first thing to come to mind when I would wake. There were times I would even go, "Oh, I didn't think of him all day!" That's a great sign.

 

I'm proud of you. You're doing so great, not only with keeping NC and staying away from him -- but the work and effort your are investing in yourself -- with school and work. The more you accomplish you'll start to reach for bigger and better. You'll start to believe that you are deserving of so much more. You'll start to realize that you don't have to settle because you have value.

 

Keep nurturing yourself. Keep staying strong. Know you deserve better.

[Kofybean]

In another thread you said:

I'd dump you in a second. I hate overly nice guys, they are plainly boriiiiing."

 

lol at the philosophical irony.

 

...I blocked him yesterday. From Facebook, and from everywhere....But I crashed today, I was walking my dog and suddenly I had to take a sit, and I cry, I cry, I cry.

 

It's funny to see how that anti nice worked out for you.