A penchant for ladies, boon or hinderance? [Updated]

[KFuPanda]

Lately, one of my labmates called me a womanizer.

 

I have somehow set the wrong reputation. I naturally make easier friends with girls, but I haven't slept with any of them. I just have a couple that I am pursuing.

 

Sadly, looking at my contact list on my phone, it's pretty telling.

One guy for every five girls. The thing is, I feel like knowing girls is better for dating, but somehow I am being labeled inappropriately. Furthermore, I wonder if I give off this vibe to girls I actually like because I can naturally spark up a conversation with any girl.

 

Ladies, are you wary of a man who talks easily? Flirts well? If you went through a contact list and the ratio of male to female is like mine, would you run for the hills?

[rdet123]

For me personally I am pretty wary of guys who can easily talk to women. I don't mean talking to them as in a friendly type of way, but I can always sense when a guy is the player/womanizer type. They look at girls a certain way instead of a guy who is just naturally friendly. It also worries me that you have more girl friends than guy friends.

 

To me there is nothing sexier than a guy who says he's hanging out with his buddies. It is a simple way to remind me that he is manly and has guy friends he can do stuff with. If the girls are labeling you as a womanizer at work then you're probably giving off the wrong vibes. You need to have a little mystery to ya!

[KFuPanda]

For me personally I am pretty wary of guys who can easily talk to women. I don't mean talking to them as in a friendly type of way, but I can always sense when a guy is the player/womanizer type. They look at girls a certain way instead of a guy who is just naturally friendly. It also worries me that you have more girl friends than guy friends.

 

To me there is nothing sexier than a guy who says he's hanging out with his buddies. It is a simple way to remind me that he is manly and has guy friends he can do stuff with. If the girls are labeling you as a womanizer at work then you're probably giving off the wrong vibes. You need to have a little mystery to ya!

 

I do hang out with my buddies. The thing is, I am pretty social, I just don't need a lot of guy friends because I like the ones I have. Being a single man, trying to actually find a relationship, I have a pretty high turnover for girls in my life. I can just easily meet them and talk to them. I thought I came off as just friendly, but the fact this girl at work called me that... I will try for a girl, and it will be clear that she's not interested. I mean stay her friend, but I move on to find someone else. I am not the most attractive.. well I guess I have a PhD, smart, social, but I am a bit fat so a think a lot of girls aren't interested in me. So I am really surprised by this statement. I am like the opposite of a womanizer.

 

It's just that I am always talking about doing things at work, and I'll say, oh I had lunch with this girl, or yeah this girl came out to the bar with us, etc...

 

But good to know, maybe I'll try to tone down my personality a little bit.

Edited October 18, 2014 by KFuPanda

[rdet123]

Ohh okay! So this girl probably labeled you as that because you talk about girls tooooo much! Constantly stating you hung out with this girl one night and then met another girl the next night isn't a good sign for a woman. I don't know you personally so it's hard to gauge your personality, but if I were you I wouldn't talk about the women you hang out with or meet. Be a little more closed off when it comes to that stuff. It would be the equivalent if you were talking to a girl who was saying how many guy friends she had and what guy she was hanging out with today. Good luck!

[Imported]

I wouldn't worry about it OP and actually think its good that they do. Just smile politely and say 'I guess I can come off that way' or whatever you want. In college, my experience with women thinking I was a "player" did not hinder anything.

[mrs rubble]

My partner sounds like you, he's got lots of female friends and is a bit overweight.

He's very thoughtful and caring and some of his female friends help him out with surprising me with birthday gifts, and that sort of thing.

There are only 2 things that bother me over his female friends:

1) If they get a hug from my man when I haven't had one.

2) If he spends ages chatting with them, then ignores me.

[Phoe]

Being friend with lots of women wouldn't phase me, but FLIRTING and getting phone numbers would.

 

I would personally be uninterested in a man who was visibly pursuing several women at a time. It's a turn off.

 

Polite friendship though? No problem.

[smackie9]

Ya I would steer away from you, I like a man's man. A man that doesn't need reassurance by chatting up any woman that walks by. Definitely would never date a guy that has a boat load of female friends.

[KFuPanda]

Thanks for the input guys.

 

Being friend with lots of women wouldn't phase me, but FLIRTING and getting phone numbers would.

 

I would personally be uninterested in a man who was visibly pursuing several women at a time. It's a turn off.

 

Polite friendship though? No problem.

 

Yeah, do you believe in such a thing as friendly flirting? Also, I don't take a girl on a date and meet other girls while I am there. I am not visibly pursuing other girls. Usually at a time, I am only asking one girl on dates. Maybe two, but I have never been sleeping with two girls at the same time.

 

Ya I would steer away from you, I like a man's man. A man that doesn't need reassurance by chatting up any woman that walks by. Definitely would never date a guy that has a boat load of female friends.

 

Who said anything about me needing reassurance and validation from women? So, I should just sit back and be single until the girls come calling? Get real, I'm not that kind of guy. I think like many people here, I'm looking for someone to spend my life with. Why shouldn't I be proactive?

 

I also don't chat up any woman. I only talk to the girls outside of my league. I have an odd enjoyment of getting shot down by them, but my confidence naturally exudes and some of them don't shut me down.

 

Seems like you're insecure about your man having female friends.

[smackie9]

No, I envision men should be men that is all. Not a insecurity thing but a personality thing. I like manly men, sexual beasts, play sports, work on cars, outdoors men, construction worker, beer drinker, and don't tolerate friend zoning, etc.

 

 

I never said you should stop doing anything. If you are happy with what you do, all the power to ya. I agree doing nothing reaps no rewards. There are too many whiney dudes on here asking how to interact with girls....it gets old. You are a breath of fresh air. I think you would be a great help, because these poor shleps are always looking for advice. The board are full of threads with these guys.

[KFuPanda]

No, I envision men should be men that is all. Not a insecurity thing but a personality thing. I like manly men, sexual beasts, play sports, work on cars, outdoors men, construction worker, beer drinker, and don't tolerate friend zoning, etc.

 

 

I never said you should stop doing anything. If you are happy with what you do, all the power to ya. I agree doing nothing reaps no rewards. There are too many whiney dudes on here asking how to interact with girls....it gets old. You are a breath of fresh air. I think you would be a great help, because these poor shleps are always looking for advice. The board are full of threads with these guys.

 

Haha, Organic chemistry isn't much away from working on cars. Diagnostic problem solving, working with hands, etc... Though I tend to think the girls find the 'phD' attractive, not that I am working with my hands in a lab, on problems such as cancer metastasis.

 

My last girlfriend also said that is what she liked about me.. that I was a man, not a boy Completely agree with you on the friend zone though, that is just bull****. If I go for a chick and she wants to be just friends, I stranger zone her. Next!

 

Alright, so as long as I am not a slimy flirt ball or flirting in front of girls I like, it seems having a lot of girls as friends is okay.

[smackie9]

So how is that working for you? Are you getting a lot of interest on the romance front?