Being blamed on for giving complete honesty when it is asked for

[leslie2]

If your boyfriend asks a question like "how would you rate me 1-10" and you give an honest answer and he gets later pissed off and regularly uses it against me - is it my fault? I am not entitled nor overly fussed with my looks.

 

He asked me to rate him once (I gave a six - which I deem as above average) and he got really angry and started attacking me on my rating to myself which I measured from my own photo ratings on a dating site and general experiences I have had in my life - having being asked out and having relationships with male models....and being a model (when younger) (I gave myself an 8).

 

Other prying questions such as how he rates in bed - I learned just not to answer if he wasn't prepared for my honesty.

 

Was I wrong to be so honest with him for the above. He's 26.

[anna121]

He was a bit of a prat for asking that kind of question, but being rated a 6 by your SO has gotta hurt. I certainly wouldn't have compounded it by rating myself as 2 points higher. Maybe 7-8 or 8-9.

 

He shouldn't be using it against you, but I can understand why he's upset.

 

Show (not tell) him that you find him attractive and insist that he stop with these stupid ratings games.

[most_distant_galaxy]

In this case, white lies are a good idea.

"You are a perfect 10 for me!". There you go.

[gaius]

Next time he brings it up tell him all this complaining is turning him into a 5.

 

Generally those questions are the ones you answer with whatever you think they want to hear. Or at least with a diplomatic non-answer.

[d0nnivain]

Tact & diplomacy: sugar coated completed honesty. Brutal honesty in those settings always causes problems, as you are discovering.

[Shepp]

Cause no one ever asks for complete honesty..

 

 

That's a hell of a blow in the name if being honest.. Most folk would trade total honesty for cushioned honesty..

Edited October 19, 2014 by Shepp

[Maleficent]

It's just part of his abusive behavior. He is using this to manipulate you

(see other post from OP)

[StanMusial]

He sounds like a little bitch. I know my fiance is better looking than me and I don't care.

 

What is up with these guys these days? Are we a nation of men?

[leslie2]

He sounds like a little bitch. I know my fiance is better looking than me and I don't care.

 

What is up with these guys these days? Are we a nation of men?

 

 

I should have prefaced this with that I suspected he was baiting me for a fight. It happened a few months in in our relationship and he always was jealous that my previous boyfriend was an international model. He also knew that I was getting interest from another model soon after we started seeing each other.

 

He also always referred to himself as "ugly" saying "I'm know I'm not hot." etc He's not ugly at all......gets attractive girls but at the same time doesn't get the "hot" comments on his Facebook pics.

 

I was explaining to him at the time that I was attracted to him and to stop obsessing over my exes or the guys showing me interest.

 

I know now not to indulge in that behaviour.

[Mister Zen]

It should be a no-brainer that you never tell someone you're dating that they are not that attractive. Come on...

 

Also, you don't always have to give people what they ask for (in this case, honesty). Use your head.

[leslie2]

It should be a no-brainer that you never tell someone you're dating that they are not that attractive. Come on...

 

Also, you don't always have to give people what they ask for (in this case, honesty). Use your head.

 

Well, that's the thing, Mister Zen, I thought I was using my head. I thought I could have a reasonable discussion on this without resorting to him attacking me because his feelings were hurt - after he put the question to me.

 

I mean, aren't we expected to be beyond this at a certain point? Don't ask me questions you may not like my absolute honesty on. I mean, I still chose to be in a relationship with him.

 

Am I supposed to now shut my mouth on other matters too?...like intelligence? I value honesty and if somebody asks it of me - I will be honest. But yeah, I don't think I'll ever engage in this rating game playing anymore.