EVERYONE is getting married but me [Updated]

[quidproquo89]

Last date I had was back in July. Met her from a dating site. One and done.

 

I go on a date maybe once a year, give or take. I do Meetup, but otherwise i really don't meet any women, and when I do I never get any dates or anything. Online dating has been a disaster for me.

 

why is that I wonder. I've had three OLD dates this year and two out of OLD. None yet have worked. However I'm chatting to two girls via text from OLD.

 

You gotta keep sending interesting messages on their man and just get out and about.

[FitChick]

I've had three OLD dates this year and two out of OLD. None yet have worked. However I'm chatting to two girls via text from OLD.

But you are cute. It's all about the photo.

[Tayken]

It's all about the photo

 

Big of you to admit this publicly. I guess that is what is happening with these people then?

 

cute convict - Bing Images

 

 

@OP..You ought to read the following and take note

 

Also, OP, you are just out of a relationship that ended painfully, just one month ago. So you cannot say "everyone is getting married" like you embarked in a long dating journey and not getting dates or finding a relationship. The reason why everyone is getting married but you is that you weren't available for a relationship, being locked in with that man that proved to be married.

 

First, you need to heal from the terrible experience that you had. You should go into therapy and read a lot of self help, regain your confidence and self esteem. This will take a while.

 

^ This and the problem is that some people just can't be on their own, which leads to rebounds and more heartaches.

 

ROP should refrain from reading Facebook posts of people hooking up and photos being posted. What you don't get to see is what goes on behind the facebook posts...drama, arguments, fights, cheating, etc.

 

Give yourself 2-3 years for this process.

 

^ This...you won't believe the amount of women out there, who ignore this and just want to jump back in. They someone convince themselves that they are ready, when indeed they are not emotionally and still care for Bob who dumped / cheated on them. These are the worst people a person can ever date...endless drama.

[Loveless77]

If you know your value and worth, then why are you attracted to a married man? Seems like you don't value yourself that much at all.

 

Your value and worth has nothing to do with how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, what career you're in. All that means is a means of financial security. That's all it'll ever be. It has nothing to do with feelings of love or a healthy relationship. The people that have told you otherwise value money over love. If that is WHAT you value, that is fine. It's your life.

 

But if you're looking for security, you need to rule out that you're going to strike out in love more often if money and status is what you desire.

 

Sorry sister, but just because you're making money doesn't automatically mean you'll get a relationship of your dreams. Your worth has nothing to do with looks or status, those can fade or change with time. Your friends are in a relationship because someone out there thought they were worth the time.

 

Maybe your self-entited attitude towards marriage based on a consensus that those with security are better for marriage may be one of your detriments towards finding a mate.

 

Gotta agree with Zen here, there's nothing wrong with aiming high, but don't get too down when you realize that your options aren't as plentiful as you'd like them to be. If you're insistent on staying the way you are, I'd suggest you prepare yourself to be single.

 

Once you see that being single is not a terrible thing at all, and learn to love yourself in an everchanging world, you'll be happier with what men come your way instead of seeming like you NEED a man of certain credentials to make you happen.

 

A partner becomes a part of you, hence a "partner" but it's up to you to fulfill yourself, as partners, as with many things in life, come and go.

 

I wouldn't suggest online dating in a large city. Try being more social, going to events, clubs(not bars, clubs with common interests, like a book club or a nerd club) you'll network, make friends, and maybe find a decent man.

 

Till then, OP, learn to appreciate life for more than just having a man. I quit online dating a while ago, I was homeless for a while, been that way 3 times, and girls still like me. I'm not your definition of successful but I still am a likeable guy.

 

You are secure. Be happy knowing that if a relationship goes South, you'll be all right. Nothing is sexier than a woman who doesn't NEED a man. Trust me when I say this.

 

Most men on here will agree with me. Good luck, OP. Natsu21.

 

If you reread and reread carefully you would understand that I did not know that he was married and when I found out I ended it.

So next time before you try to give advice read the message so you dont make an ass of yourself

[Loveless77]

For those with difficulty in comprehension, please understand. I DID NOT WILLINGLY GO AFTER A MARRIED MAN. I was duped and tricked. In NO way or under any circumstances am I willing to share a man, let alone someone else's. I have seen what he is capable of doing.

I dated him and we practically lived together for 2 years (he still has his own place, in which he lived ALONE) and was even in the process of planning a wedding. He lived alone and his family lives hours away (which I did not know at the time). I found out a month ago and dumped him that day and have not spoken with him since. He lived and worked in another city, but had family elsewhere.

 

So I am grieving and it is hard, the man that I thought was mine and planned to marry was not mine to begin with.

 

Hope this gives you a better understanding before commenting so recklessly.

[BluEyeL]

Like some of us told you. You are hurting now, it's time to work on yourself, heal, regain your self-esteem. You got a pretty big shocker. Hope you get over it as fast as possible. Time heals everything. But you must regain your confidence and strength before even thinking of another relationship. Dating out there can be brutal! Accept that it's going to take time, don't look at who is getting married. One day it will be you, but you have to be in the best position for that to happen, so you can have a healthy relationship.

[Joytherapy]

Thank you for sharing! It is okay for you to be frustrated, but you do have a lot going for you. I know it's hard but try to be patient. I enjoyed this article recently that fits your situation; What's wrong with me that I'm still single?

HUGS!!

[Noproblem]

you can't get married unless you are with someone who is willing to get married

 

try to date people and fall in love first!

[Loveless77]

Thank you for sharing! It is okay for you to be frustrated, but you do have a lot going for you. I know it's hard but try to be patient. I enjoyed this article recently that fits your situation; What's wrong with me that I'm still single?

HUGS!!

 

Thank you!! I read it and I feel a little better. I guess I'll head out to my evening prayer service (No, men are there either, but I need a little faith booster) Thanks.

[trippi1432]

I think one BIG mistake you're making is thinking money and success make you more "worthy" of a good partner. It doesn't, so don't even list it.

 

Being a single mother is not a plus either. Fun, loving and caring are good qualities that should help you. Attractive is also important.

 

I do sense a whiff of entitlement in your post... like you think you just deserve to have a handsome, successful husband (more so than your friends/family who have nothing going for themselves).

 

One thing that really helped me in life was to stop thinking I deserve things or that people (or life) owes me something. What you get in life has more to do with the decisions you make, luck, timing and location and less to do with what you think you "deserve".

 

So the best thing to do is realistically ask what a handsome successful man is looking for in a woman (not what YOU think he should be looking for). Then honestly assess your market value (not what YOU think it should be).

 

This helped me a lot. Just coming to terms with my market value and accepting it. There is a lot of power in knowing where you stand and not wasting your time chasing things out of reach.

 

Life is much easier when you just date people in your league. Its more fun, less stressful, etc.

 

 

My first take at this post was "OH NO HE DIDN'T!!"

 

 

Mister Zen...(even Natsu) did you just not only diss her security but also put her down for being a single mother??? Wow!!

 

 

Im sorry, but I wholeheartedly disagree. I know my value and my worth and that's what I am aiming and in hope for..

 

I would disagree with this too. I married beneath me and believed this rhetoric & BS. My dad knew I married beneath my league but hoped that he was the guy who would stand by me and his family. I single-parented my way through 15 years....that's what a strong woman who doesn't need a man does. The good thing about a "Man Cave" is to send a man there so you can take care of "life" while its happening. Those men who want to pull you down to their league typically need to be taken care of

 

 

You will be just fine Loveless, if you ever feel a man challenges the morals of your foundations, or your safety...time to kick them to the curb.

[BluEyeL]

I will share something. Before I met my BF, I engaged in a lot of spiritual reading (about staying in the moment, letting go and letting God ), and meditation, I studied positivism and consciously applied to my life. Also, worked a lot on my self esteem. Well, about a week before I met him, I listened to an audio, the title is "Manifesting Love" and did the meditation exercise there daily. I met him two weeks later. After looking intensively for one year and a half and being close to giving up. You might want to try that one. It's a bit silly, and it might be crazy, might have been a coincidence, but that's what happened.