He had dozens of lovers and wife found out!

[ConfusedMarriedOW]

Since this chapter is indeed closed now and the con man has been caught. I leave all of this and this world behind me. And it is terribly relieving.

 

Regardless of the people here that criticize my supposed hypocritical nature, it matters not...I know what happened and how honest or dishonest I was. I know what is most helpful or hurtful to my husband, I choose what is best for him, not me. My conscience is clear.

 

I created this post for the sole purpose alone:

 

Should he or any other serial cheaters see this post, see what happens just take note that this can and will catch up with you someday and all of the naive, low self esteemed women you trap in your sticky little con love web, can AND will find out about each other someday, and one will crack and then kaboom, all will explode in your sorry little sick world. Like a stack of cards crumbling.

 

See this post as a warning.

 

Just remember, the wife finds out and the conned rejoice!

 

Cheers all.

Edited October 20, 2014 by ConfusedMarriedOW

[Redheaded Mistress]

But yet, since the beginning you haven't afforded me that courtesy.

 

That is not true. I have not been rude to you at all. Disagreement doesn't mean rudeness.

 

You are triggered by this topic and taking it out on me.

 

Not in the slightest. Your situation has absolutely nothing in common with mine.

 

It is because you are married to a cheating husband.

 

I'm not married to a "cheating husband." Again, this is not about me. If you want to discuss my marriage we can, but this isn't about me.

 

You hate that the wife knows.

 

If that were true, I wouldn't agree that you need to tell your husband about this incident.

 

You hate that I get joy in seeing justice.

 

I don't hate that you're happy about what's happened... I don't even see joy coming from you in this... Just rage, revenge, and pain. I'm deeply concerned over your response to it as it's erratic. Honestly it seems like you are having a psychotic break of some sort.

 

You put your loved one in his shoes. But please remember they are not the same man. You got your married man and I assume he had only you and is now faithful to you! bravo!

 

Again, I didn't put my husband in the same shoes... There is absolutely nothing here that reminds me of my husband, our affair, or anything about our life pre or post affair. If anything, you keep making that connection and you keep trying to make it the same, not just for me but others in affairs... There are numerous posts on here made where you project your situation onto other affairs and react to that with the same hysteria.

 

I don't care if you were with someone one day or five years, don't discredit anyone else's pain just because it doesn't look like yours. Four months is plenty of time to fall in love and I would argue that virtual is stronger than actual. I have has five year in person relationships that felt less painful

 

 

So...hmmm

 

I'm clear that you took his rejection hard. I get it. And I get you're taking it even harder because he gave to other women what he didn't give you. What he dumped you before even meeting you for he was apparently doing all around town. I get you're in pain.

 

The problem is your complete mental collapse over it... It's not normal or healthy. You've gone to utter pieces over the tragedy of a four month quasi-affair, but you show no remorse for doing it. You show no pain or concern for your own marriage or your husband. You badgered him into an open marriage after crossing the line with a guy you wanted to cheat with and you couldn't care less. You manipulated your husband, your married man's wife, and you tried to manipulate him and failed. I mean, the wife counseled you over your pain? Really? The woman who's husband, the man she married and has been with for what sounds like years has to take a break from dealing with the fallout of his numerous, long-term, actual affairs and the resulting damage to their relationship to help the girl he typed to, that he didn't even want to meet or have sex with deal with her pain? Really?

 

You just act like you were a victim and take no accountability for anything. Like you're the center of the world, the center of this affair, when really, out of everybody involved, you are a minor player. Ultimately, despite his history, despite your actively trying to do more, to actively cheat and have an affair, ruin his marriage, his wife, and their life... He rejected you. In this whole thing, you are a minor blip... Which is what makes your response so alarming and baffling.

Edited October 20, 2014 by Redheaded Mistress

[gettingstronger]

I can understand this post actually- I think when you find out what you thought was one thing was actually another its a huge sucker punch- as a BS I can relate to that feeling-

 

However, please do not do anything out of anger that would further cause the BS trauma- she is the true "victim" here-

[anika99]

Look, I do say this with a touch of sarcasm. Forgive me... But who comes on here when the pain isn't fresh? I mean, don't come in here for all day entertainment. Just to release this rage about a topic majority of the time I am free of.

 

I appreciate the advice, but I only come on here when the pain is fresh or when I lapse back into pain. Or now anger affairs do have painful consequences after all, as do all relationships that end.

 

For now the counselor is only a marriage counselor.

 

About drugs, I met married man within days of the sobriety. The sobriety that was forced on my husband after he threatened to kill me and threw a chair at me. I was going to leave otherwise. But my rage about that turned inwards and into self esteem problems and depression. I spent days in a dark bedroom. That is when I met MM. I had wanted to leave husband but loved him, I was terribly confused.

 

But guess what? It took time, it took the absence of drugs for now almost a year for us to grow. And now that I am finally finally free from that bastard who know all that I went through and lied about his feelings for me, I feel joy for the first time.

 

And as far as his vows are concerns, even his wife respects his promises made to me and completely understands my rage, she has counseled me through it. So why are you so concerned about his vows? He made promises, he lied, it was cruel.

 

 

Actually I'm most concerned for his BW. It doesn't sound like she is thinking clearly at all. Based on all that you have said about her in this thread she sounds really lost and confused. She doesn't seem to understand that you or any of the other OW could not possibly be her friend. She appears to be concerned for all of you but none of you OW gave 2 flying figs about her pain or the destruction of her life when you were messing with her husband. Maybe she is acting sweet and empathetic as a way of getting information from her husband's many OW and she really doesn't see any of you as her allies. I kind of hope she's faking this friendship nonsense otherwise she is seriously deluded if she thinks you or any of the other OW are anything but her enemy.

[Allumere]

And I am so happy to know this. He was a fraud in every way. He destroyed women everywhere. I was one of them. He would change his persona according to his victim. So lucky I never actually met him. He tried very hard to entice me. He was brilliant.

 

His wife contacted me said she heard of me through one of his mistresses. I had no idea he had mistresses and I also hadn't talked to him in months. I exposed every last detail to her. He is now kicked out is their beautiful stone house and living out of his car.

 

I was heartbroken over him and now I know that I was just one in a string of dozens. All going at once. He adamantly denied anyone else being in his life,

 

He was either a narcissist or a sociopath, destroying one at a time. Claiming love and then abandoning. He has many many women angry, organizing and ready to publicly destroy him.

 

So glad he is gone, I am completely over it him.

 

However, I wouldn't mind if he gets strung up to a tree

 

I think this is a good reminded for folks entering into a relationship (not just those considering or in the midst of an affair). I can tell you that my ex-husband was very much a fraud in to the women he was with. His persona was a complete lie. He prayed on women...playing the role of super hero...and I contacted and spoke with everyone of them. They were all shocked and devastated. They didn't know about each other and as far as my existence I was either dead from suicide or illness or I was cruel, evil, a cheater and we were separated.

 

It's hard to get to know people, even more so today. You have to guard your heart so I purpose use every tool at your disposal.

[Hope Shimmers]

It's hard to get to know people, even more so today. You have to guard your heart so I purpose use every tool at your disposal.

 

Yes, but a little common sense helps - as in the case of this OP. This man was having online and phone sex with her and is married and is also flirting with other women at the same time? Gee, might be someone not to trust. Just a thought.

 

CMOW, I am not "angry" at you for your lashing out at me. I see and understand that you have lashed out to exactly everyone who has disagreed with you, and for that reason only. I can understand that you are not in a place to think anything else right now.

 

I agree with others who have posted that it is extremely odd that the BS would "befriend" all of you. Why would she do that? Furthermore, why would she spend time "constantly" talking to you specifically, and counseling you (as you said) through your rage? I would think that she would be focusing on the OW who were physically intimate with him, not someone who never met him. It makes no sense. I suspect that she is faking being a "friend" to get information. Certainly, no matter what happens, there is no way that you or OW are her friend. Your goal was all the same, which was to screw around with her H. You don't get to call it "friends' suddenly just because things didn't work out for YOU.

 

As others have said, I am concerned for you because it seems to me that you are exhibiting signs similar to Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. Not sure I have seen anything like this (on this forum) here to date. It is not just now, but goes back to how you handled the interactions with him. You said yourself that when he asked you to leave him alone for a weekend because he wanted to spend it with his wife and see if things could be better - you decided to spend the weekend texting him nonstop and constantly. To me that comes off as psycho stalking, and it would scare the hell out of me, especially from someone I had never even met!... and his response was "OMG. I'm done". And he was done. Who wouldn't be, after that?

 

You then spent the next several MONTHS lamenting about how you missed him, cried every day, how you wish you could talk to him again and fix the way it ended, etc. Yet you chose to end it that way. That kind of behavior is scary and not normal - I am sure he realized that if you were behaving that way before ever meeting him, that there was no way in hell he was going to sleep with you and see what your emotional reaction would be after that.

 

Your reaction to all of this is way off the charts. Your rage, etc. For a 4-month online "affair". You wished him dead, for crying out loud. You need help CMOW. I hope you get it. This is not normal in any way, and you really need help before something bad happens. I hope you find it and wish you the best.