ThaWholigan Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Then why are we arguing? We aren't 1 Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I am not directing my comment at any specific post or poster but here goes: The main issue that I find here on this forum and IRL, is that women and men can't seem to communicate their issues with each other. I think each side is so fed up in experiencing it and trying to explain it to the other that there are a lot of mixed messages and arguments leading from an innocent comment or opinion. The fact of the matter and something that people tend to forget is that women have been conditioned by society as young girls to be afraid of strangers and to be be wary of men. We're taught to walk around with our keys in our hands as weapons, to cross the street when someone is walking behind us, to walk in groups of girls when we go anywhere. The issue is that this affects men directly as well. We are not trying to tell men on this website that they are creepy for being nice or stalkers for approaching women, we're just trying to express that it goes way beyond that. It's a societal problem. The thing is that men's issues and women's issues are directly related. You can't have one issue without the other. It's sad, I wish it wasn't that way. My hope is that future generations can rectify this and we will stop blaming and punishing each other. Just my opinion, hope I don't ruffle any feathers. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 And clearly these sensors work well considering the pieces of sh#t a huge amount of women not only get involved with, but stay with long term often being impregnated by such lovely fellows. I don't think that the guys who are pieces of sh#t are necessarily the same guys that come off as creepy, though. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I didn't dodge it, I've previously mention the woman in question who said this about me has had her OWN reputation of being a immature individual. The organizer has made me aware of the fact that she not quite right. This is hardly the first time you've avoided being questioned on why you overanalyze and constantly criticize so many women's personal preferences in OLD and IRL. It must have something to do with how you come across in social interactions as well. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 It's certainly not true that an attractive guy will never be seen as creepy. To me, creepiness is not about attractiveness, it's certain verbal and nonverbal cues that tell me that this guy could be a danger to me. It may be a mismatch with what I read as his intention vs. what he is saying, or it may be overt if he is staring (in a way that someone wouldn't read as flirtatious if he's getting no flirtation back) or crossing some physical boundary. I agree with others who say that it can be hard to know if it is intentional or not. If intentional it is a danger - this guy is fine or even wanting to make a woman uncomfortable in some way (there are people who get off on that) and she don't know how far he's willing to take it. If not, then he may just be very poor at reading social signals. The majority of guys are not creepy, but it's not terribly uncommon to meet someone who puts off that vibe. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 To me, creepiness is not about attractiveness, it's certain verbal and nonverbal cues that tell me that this guy could be a danger to me. I agree. Could be the way he looks at me, sleaziness, persistence, inappropriate touching or saying inappropriate things, or something i cant quite pinpoint... that my gut or instincts just say "get away from this guy". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Teknoe Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 (edited) Anyway, I will add this. To the OP, if you are getting women who call you creepy more than once, then yes, a little introspection should be done on your part. Once is OK... it happens to all (er, most) of us at some point in our lives, especially when we pursue women. But if it's been said to you more than once, then it might be something you want to give an honest look at. Edited October 22, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 What I don't get here is that you yourself noted that his manner was perhaps overly aggressive and also awkward. Sure, he may be a great guy, but how is a woman going to know that? If a guy comes up to me and behaves the way you described him, I'm not going to find that appealing. .... It's great that he found someone, and I'd bet dollars to donuts that he didn't do it by behaving the same way he did to these nerdy international women you speak of. It was probably a friends-first situation, where he could behave more like himself. And, ta-da. But 'friends first' as noted in this thread and numerous usually by women, is creepy and sneaky/hidden agenda too. lol. The whole 'creepy' scenario is over done by many women these days. Like some other guy here noted, it turns him off a woman when he hears her label guys (more often inappropriately like the umbrella dude) as creeps, it does the same for me. I'm sure it would likewise for many women if a guy threw around the term 'stupid ho' to describe women who took interest in him that he did not find appealing in the same way. Enigma had it right, in developing the confidence to behave as he pleases (assuming it is really not offensive) and not give a toss if the woman finds him creepy. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 this guy is fine or even wanting to make a woman uncomfortable in some way (there are people who get off on that) and she don't know how far he's willing to take it. typos because I edited - "fine with" and "she doesn't" Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 (edited) But 'friends first' as noted in this thread and numerous usually by women, is creepy and sneaky/hidden agenda too. lol. The whole 'creepy' scenario is over done by many women these days. Like some other guy here noted, it turns him off a woman when he hears her label guys (more often inappropriately like the umbrella dude) as creeps, it does the same for me. I'm sure it would likewise for many women if a guy threw around the term 'stupid ho' to describe women who took interest in him that he did not find appealing in the same way. Enigma had it right, in developing the confidence to behave as he pleases (assuming it is really not offensive) and not give a toss if the woman finds him creepy. Yeah, that (the bolded) wasn't my point though. You're trying to cram two different ideas together that have nothing to do with one another. And friends first doesn't necessarily mean hidden agenda, either - a hidden agenda would mean an expectation that friends would evolve into something more. I don't think that women are more likely to engage in that way of thinking, either. So again, you've got the wrong end of the story. But none of that has to do with what I was saying anyway. My point in this thread is that this guy may have behaved completely differently with the woman he ended up with. He was awkward and aggressive with the one who didn't like him, and I'm betting he wasn't with the one who did. You see now? This post is kind of an example of the thing I was talking about earlier - one guy says "hey a girl called me creepy" and it becomes a rallying cry, a kind of echo chamber, for dudes who feel frustrated about rejection (even if, as JJS said, they don't actually get called creepy themselves). If you start to pick it apart a little, you often find pretty quickly that either the guy did do something that made the woman uncomfortable, or she didn't actually call him creepy but just rejected him and he decided she thought he was creepy. I will reiterate for the umpteenth time that women do overuse the word creepy and I can see how it'd be frustrating. But it also seems like men are sometimes the ones overusing it themselves (this thread). At least half, probably more, of the guys complaining about the word haven't actually heard anyone call them that! Edited October 21, 2014 by serial muse 5 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 ^ I agree with the above because the truth is, some guys know they're being regarded as creepy, but it's highly unlikely, unless they're in middle or high school, that anyone has actually said those words to them. They know they're being creepers, period. They're mad because it's not working for them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted October 21, 2014 Author Share Posted October 21, 2014 (edited) I'm an old-fashioned gentleman that knows how to treat a woman properly. I believe in communication, support, loyalty, and I also have a great sense of humor with the ability to laugh at myself. :-) Anyhow, hope we can get to know each other better. Actually, it has nothing to do with rejection. Not sure where you got that idea. I didn't even ask her, so thus, no rejection occurred. Enigma had it right, in developing the confidence to behave as he pleases (assuming it is really not offensive) and not give a toss if the woman finds him creepy Good point to, just keep doin' what you do, and F her if she don't like it. It's her problem that she can't deal with it, not mines. Though in the case of the Meetup, this is not going to attract men to the group that the Organizer has been having a struggle with. Want to further reinforce a 10 women to 1 man ration of the group and decrease the number to zilch, just start judging men before you even know them and you'll watch 'em disappear. Edited October 22, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Truth is some guys are creepy and deserve the label. Ive had guys I barely knew tell me what kind of porn they like, touch me inappropriately, and generally stalk me. Its not all about not being confident. Some guys are too confident and refuse to read social cues. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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