Help on sensitive subject

[li'l bunny]

I hope this doesn't sound too weird but I need help with my six year old son. He is very good but there is one thing that bothers me. He plays with his penis ALL the time.

 

I have another son who is a little younger who NEVER does this but my 6yr old always has his hand down his trousers and has since he came out of nappies.

 

Now I am told all boys are different and that it is natural for boys (or even girls) to do this. But how do I tell him not to do it when other people around? I certainly don't want him to feel that what he is doing is wrong but I also need to explain to him that he can't do it whenever he feels like it.

 

I mean I'm sure he doesn't do it in school but he does it on the couch when we're watching tv and it's not really something he should be doing in front of his mother or his brother.

 

Will he just learn this as he grows up and should I just ignore it and not make an issue of it or should I tell him to stop that he should only do it in bed, or something? I don't know, it's difficult to know how much to explain to them at different ages.

 

Any advice would be appreciated

[LucreziaBorgia]

My kid went through a stage like that when she was younger than 6. I told her that 'playing with your pee pee is ok, but it is private - just like going to the bathroom. You should only do it when you are in private.' I never punished her for it, but if I saw her doing it I would ask her to go to her room or somewhere similarly private. After a while of reinforcement without punishment, she just eventually incorporated it into her 'privacy'. I wanted to instill a firm sense of privacy and boundaries (particularly when it comes to things of a sexual nature), while not discouraging the natural acts themselves.

 

I've had the same talk about nose-picking, underwear adjustment/digging, playing 'doctor', etc as she's gotten older. I wanted to stress that while it was ok, that everything has its time and place. I don't want her embarrassed, but I do want her to feel a sense of privacy that she herself controls and enforces.

 

I think with some discreet, gentle and consistent reminders about privacy while removing his hands from his pants, your little one will learn.

[IhavenoFREAKINclue]

Originally posted by li'l bunny

But how do I tell him not to do it when other people around?

Does he touch his penis while he is around people? If not why would you have to address it in front of other people? And by other people i mean a neighbor. Not your Husband or other son.

 

I think that you have to approach this assertively. He's 6, not 2. He'll understand if you talk to him firmly. Tell him that its not ok to touch yourself like that. Tell him you know that he's young and he still "exploring" himself. But its not appropriate.

 

Tell him that his favorite super hero doesn't do that!

 

I'm sure its a phase. All little boys go through some sort of phase. Just be lucky its not eating glue!

Good luck!!

[jdee]

Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue

 

I think that you have to approach this assertively. He's 6, not 2. He'll understand if you talk to him firmly. Tell him that its not ok to touch yourself like that. Tell him you know that he's young and he still "exploring" himself. But its not appropriate.

 

Tell him that his favorite super hero doesn't do that!

 

 

I have to disagree IhavenoFREAKINclue It is a natural thing starting from baby from what Sue Johanson says anyway. Telling him its inapropriate will make him think this behavior is not normal when in fact it is quite normal.

 

 

 

I told her that 'playing with your pee pee is ok, but it is private - just like going to the bathroom. You should only do it when you are in private.' I never punished her for it, but if I saw her doing it I would ask her to go to her room or somewhere similarly private.

 

I myself would stick to this approach. Sounds good without making your son feel like hes doing something wrong..