for MOW- How did u stay away from Xmm and control your desire?

[hello234]

I am targeting this post to MOW esp, because I am one as well and I need their advise on how they proceeded....

 

So for all you MOW for whom the affair did not work out with the MM, how did it end? did u end it first? and WHY did it end? was it mostly because u could not handle the fact that you had to share him and handle him talking about his wife and life to you? It sucks doesn't it?

 

I am feeling the same. Even though its great when I see him, I just cant take it anymore, driving me crazy..he keeps talking about going to counseling with his wife, then its like why u need me??? and he is an idiot, he wantedly makes FB albums of his trips and stuff public to me so that I can see..why would he do that?? AM I RIGHT LADIES?? and now in my case, my poor sweet husband knows about this affair as he saw some texts from MOM, and now I am really thinking to just back off and end it but I am in MAJOR depression knowing that I can never hold or kiss MM again- How do u MOM control your sexual desire for MOM?? I can stay without meeting him but it's just that attraction and sexual desire for him that really is sooo hard.. how did you guys control it? How are u getting through ur NCs? UGH im really really so frustrated and sad.. I don't wanna keep putting myself and my hubby through this pain but I feel depressed knowing I wont see MM again or kiss him..ugh that desire..But then again I feel if I just cut him off in one shot, I would be fine. what am I to do? how do u control it?

[DKT3]

I am targeting this post to MOW esp, because I am one as well and I need their advise on how they proceeded....

 

So for all you MOW for whom the affair did not work out with the MM, how did it end? did u end it first? and WHY did it end? was it mostly because u could not handle the fact that you had to share him and handle him talking about his wife and life to you? It sucks doesn't it?

 

I am feeling the same. Even though its great when I see him, I just cant take it anymore, driving me crazy..he keeps talking about going to counseling with his wife, then its like why u need me??? and he is an idiot, he wantedly makes FB albums of his trips and stuff public to me so that I can see..why would he do that?? AM I RIGHT LADIES?? and now in my case, my poor sweet husband knows about this affair as he saw some texts from MOM, and now I am really thinking to just back off and end it but I am in MAJOR depression knowing that I can never hold or kiss MM again- How do u MOM control your sexual desire for MOM?? I can stay without meeting him but it's just that attraction and sexual desire for him that really is sooo hard.. how did you guys control it? How are u getting through ur NCs? UGH im really really so frustrated and sad.. I don't wanna keep putting myself and my hubby through this pain but I feel depressed knowing I wont see MM again or kiss him..ugh that desire..But then again I feel if I just cut him off in one shot, I would be fine. what am I to do? how do u control it?

 

 

Wait, you said back when you started posting your husband knew, I didn't believe it then, and I'm not sure I believe it now. I would think if he knew your focus would be on him and not about MM. The reason I say that is you claim your husband provides you with a great life yet you seem not to care that it could end.

 

I don't really expect you to respond since you never do when its about your husband.

 

Which leads to how you control desire. Well you are invested most in relationships you invest the most in. Focus on your husband and child. That won't make the MM dissappear from your mind but it will help. Other then that time, it takes time to get over people. But you can't keep going back for small doses it just prolongs the pain.

[Owl]

My wife got over her affair with her OM by re-investing in our relationship.

 

I suggest you decide what you want from your marriage...and either focus on fixing it, or ending it.

 

That's the BEST, MOST EFFECTIVE way that I know of to 'get over' OM. Have your husband help you, by being the primary person to hold you accountable for your actions, to prevent you from relapsing in a moment of weakness. Or, alternatively, if the two of you decide to end your marriage, negotiating that is likely to take up a lot of your time and focus...again helping you 'get over' the affair and OM.

[Friskyone4u]

So your husband knows that you still want to keep having sex with OM and he is still just fine with it. You show no remorse , only a desire to find a way of continuing your affair.

Your husband needs sympathy for not having the sense to get rid of you from his life.

You'll surely find another man to replace this AP with

[sunburned]

Comments in bold

 

I am targeting this post to MOW esp, because I am one as well and I need their advise on how they proceeded....

 

So for all you MOW for whom the affair did not work out with the MM, how did it end? did u end it first? and WHY did it end? was it mostly because u could not handle the fact that you had to share him and handle him talking about his wife and life to you? It sucks doesn't it?

 

No, my MOM did not talk about his W. I knew from the get go I was "sharing." So did you, btw. It was an escape for both of us. It's an escape for your MM too, nothing more. He is not your future and he is ruining your present.

 

I am feeling the same. Even though its great when I see him, I just cant take it anymore, driving me crazy..he keeps talking about going to counseling with his wife, then its like why u need me??? and he is an idiot, he wantedly makes FB albums of his trips and stuff public to me so that I can see..why would he do that?? AM I RIGHT LADIES?? and now in my case, my poor sweet husband knows about this affair as he saw some texts from MOM, and now I am really thinking to just back off and end it but I am in MAJOR depression knowing that I can never hold or kiss MM again. How do u MOM control your sexual desire for MOM?? I can stay without meeting him but it's just that attraction and sexual desire for him that really is sooo hard.. how did you guys control it? How are u getting through ur NCs? UGH im really really so frustrated and sad.. I don't wanna keep putting myself and my hubby through this pain but I feel depressed knowing I wont see MM again or kiss him..ugh that desire..But then again I feel if I just cut him off in one shot, I would be fine. what am I to do? how do u control it?

 

No you are not right and I think most of the "LADIES" on the board would say the same. In general, I don't understand your constant posts re FB. MM is not posting for your benefit (he probably has other friends on FB or are you it?), but consider it an insider's look into his life. He's happy in his M and not looking to leave. It's a mistake to think "if he were happy, he wouldn't be having an A." And, if on the off-chance he is posting for your benefit, that just makes him all the more despicable.

 

Wait! Your H found out? You're burying this tiny tidbit? And, in response to his finding out you're considering backing off? How thoughtful of you.

 

You said you'd be fine if you cut him off "in one shot." I'm not sure what that means, but I'm guessing you think you'd be fine going NC. So, why didn't you do that, like yesterday?

 

Chances are you will not be fine right away. Most of us cheaters have a tough time with NC at first. To "control yourself," block his access to you and yours to him. Sit on your texting hand for a few months. In time, your feelings will fade. Until they do, rock the block.

 

Remember feelings are fueled by proximity and communication.

[sunburned]

sorry, i rather screwed up the formatting ^^^