I don't know what I did?

[Ashley S]

I've been talking to this guy on and off. We are friends, we aren't close like we were, but we're friends. He always had an "edge" to him, but he always was nice to me and respected me. Well he did point out that I friendzoned him....that was awhile ago, but I notice the dynamics of our friendship definitely changed. I was ok with going out with him and dating him but he wasn't giving me a clear answer on what he wanted, and I am not into guys that want booty calls, so I was like "Let's be friends!" It didn't bother me a great deal, and I was content with friendship. I would have like it to progress...but I was comfortable being friends. He wasn't really badly jealous but you could tell he had feelings for me, and he was upset about other guys and wanted to know some info about the guy. He didn't like I went out with other guys I guess....I didn't think those feelings were strong, because he seemed like he wanted to have fun. Just how I perceived it.

 

Well, I noticed he's had a mad on with me. He seems more angry with me. He barely talks to me anymore, and he doesn't like anything on my Facebook anymore. I did a multi-message text and he didn't respond, he just seems so angry with me and when I ask him why he's mad or if he's mad at me, he always says "Im fine" and never tells me. I can pick up on the fact he's mad at me, he doesn't respond to the few texts I sent to him. He barely talks to me. He is rude and kinda ignores me when he sees me, but he'll be the one that shows up at my door step randomly:confused: I don't know what I did? I know that nobody can really tell but what does it seem like to you? What makes a guy all of a sudden angry at a girl? Is it usually because they do have feelings, but it's not reciprocated? I am wondering from a guy's point of view, and if it's possible he's doing this because of him having feelings? Or if he just hates me? No idea. Please comment. Thank you for reading

[umirano]

If he had no feelings for you he'd be neutral. Being so thin-lipped and yet coming to your doorstep (how exactly does that go down?) makes it seem like he's really upset with you about something.

 

But if he can't say what's up I don't think you'll have a good time with him. And if you don't want him "that way" you shouldn't signal him anything else. Back off and let him cool down and deal with his emotions. He'll either gather his courage and tell you what it is that makes him feel like that or he'll head on to something else. Not the end of the world.

 

Good luck

[CharlieFox]

Is this the same guy like the one from your previous 2-3 threads? How many more times will you ask the same exact questions about the same exact people? "I don't know what I did" - yes you do.

 

He wanted you, you friendzoned him, he's mad. Since you have no idea what you want and you don't act in any way, he is confused and acts immature. But you also act immature.

 

Why do you care so much about this guy anyway? If it's upsetting you, just cut him off completely. But it looks more like you kinda enjoy the drama he brings into your life.

[Diezel]

Is this the same guy like the one from your previous 2-3 threads? How many more times will you ask the same exact questions about the same exact people? "I don't know what I did" - yes you do.

 

He wanted you, you friendzoned him, he's mad. Since you have no idea what you want and you don't act in any way, he is confused and acts immature. But you also act immature.

 

Why do you care so much about this guy anyway? If it's upsetting you, just cut him off completely. But it looks more like you kinda enjoy the drama he brings into your life.

 

Yep,

 

All of her threads are the same thing over and over. People will respond, say the same thing you said... few days later, new thread.

 

"I don't know what I did".

[Chemist]

There is no advice. He liked you, you friendzoned him. He's hurt. Cut him loose or tell him you're actually interested. Or drop hints and see if he can understand he should make a move.

[Ashley S]

If he had no feelings for you he'd be neutral. Being so thin-lipped and yet coming to your doorstep (how exactly does that go down?) makes it seem like he's really upset with you about something.

 

But if he can't say what's up I don't think you'll have a good time with him. And if you don't want him "that way" you shouldn't signal him anything else. Back off and let him cool down and deal with his emotions. He'll either gather his courage and tell you what it is that makes him feel like that or he'll head on to something else. Not the end of the world.

 

Good luck

 

Well he'll just show up randomly to my doorstep and then he kinda ignores me, but he'll talk to me and then leave. It's weird. He is the one though that tries to see me, yet he's angry with me? I haven't spoke or talked to him, but then he comes over my house out of nowhere, then I will try to make conversation and he kinda ignores me....like he's mad? Then I will ask him if he's mad and he'll say "Nope, I'm fine" Then he'll talk about something, and he'll just say "I have to go, I'll see ya" And I am just kinda sitting there like "What the f***?!?!" I am backing off, because he won't respond to my texts or anything. So I am definitely backing off. Thanks.

[Ashley S]

Is this the same guy like the one from your previous 2-3 threads? How many more times will you ask the same exact questions about the same exact people? "I don't know what I did" - yes you do.

 

He wanted you, you friendzoned him, he's mad. Since you have no idea what you want and you don't act in any way, he is confused and acts immature. But you also act immature.

 

Why do you care so much about this guy anyway? If it's upsetting you, just cut him off completely. But it looks more like you kinda enjoy the drama he brings into your life.

 

The only other thread that is about him is the "Why does he always talk to his friend about me?" Thread. You never know what you may find or what perspective someone might open me up to. I just wanted perspectives, opinions, and maybe people's experience in this to relate etc. Isn't this what this site is for? Isn't it for general questions or when you want opinions on a situation? I didn't know it was bothering people that I was posting threads. I honestly didn't think it was a big deal. I like this site, and I have curious questions. Or bad situations that I want opinions on and I thought this is the site to do post that? I care about him so it does upset me. I don't enjoy the drama. It's upsetting me, if I enjoyed the drama it wouldn't upset me.

[Gaeta]

I remember being your age even if it was a long time ago

 

Here is how I see it.

 

You like him, he likes you. Even though you do like him you think he's a player so you friendzoned him. He is offended you friendzoned him, he now has love/hate emotions toward you and he does not know how to handle it. He does what young inexperienced people do, he acts passive aggressive.

 

So my advice to you will be to handle this like a young adult woman. You go see him and you go straight to the heart of the subject with him. Also, If you like him tell him. Learn now, at a young age to not play games.

[Ashley S]

I remember being your age even if it was a long time ago

 

Here is how I see it.

 

You like him, he likes you. Even though you do like him you think he's a player so you friendzoned him. He is offended you friendzoned him, he now has love/hate emotions toward you and he does not know how to handle it. He does what young inexperienced people do, he acts passive aggressive.

 

So my advice to you will be to handle this like a young adult woman. You go see him and you go straight to the heart of the subject with him. Also, If you like him tell him. Learn now, at a young age to not play games.

 

That is really good advice, but i'm sorry I can't do it. I can't tell him how I feel because I feel like he doesn't care and I don't want to him to validate my opinion even more if he doesn't have a reaction. It's a risk I am not willing to take. I don't take risks anymore. I use to, but I got my heart broken a lot. So, I am not much of a risk taker anymore. I am not taking this well though. So I guess something has to give. Thank you

[mammasita]

That is really good advice, but i'm sorry I can't do it. I can't tell him how I feel because I feel like he doesn't care and I don't want to him to validate my opinion even more if he doesn't have a reaction. It's a risk I am not willing to take. I don't take risks anymore. I use to, but I got my heart broken a lot. So, I am not much of a risk taker anymore. I am not taking this well though. So I guess something has to give. Thank you

 

 

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

[Gaeta]

That is really good advice, but i'm sorry I can't do it. I can't tell him how I feel because I feel like he doesn't care and I don't want to him to validate my opinion even more if he doesn't have a reaction. It's a risk I am not willing to take. I don't take risks anymore. I use to, but I got my heart broken a lot. So, I am not much of a risk taker anymore. I am not taking this well though. So I guess something has to give. Thank you

 

A risk? I don't see how clearing the air is a risk. It does not matter if he reciprocates or not. You are going to do this to stop the back and forth non sense. 'Joe, you may be under the impression I don't like you but I actually do like you, I wanted you to know that'. There, done. He can do what ever he wants with the information. I did not tell you to throw yourself at him body and heart. I told you to clear the air.

[Diezel]

That is really good advice, but i'm sorry I can't do it. I can't tell him how I feel because I feel like he doesn't care and I don't want to him to validate my opinion even more if he doesn't have a reaction. It's a risk I am not willing to take. I don't take risks anymore. I use to, but I got my heart broken a lot. So, I am not much of a risk taker anymore. I am not taking this well though. So I guess something has to give. Thank you

 

So you guess something has to give but you are willing to give nothing.

 

He probably feels like you don't care either and then you two keep doing this same song and dance... same song and dance you have with every other guy that you post about it.

 

Common denominator law in full effect.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I've been talking to this guy on and off. We are friends, we aren't close like we were, but we're friends. He always had an "edge" to him, but he always was nice to me and respected me. Well he did point out that I friendzoned him....that was awhile ago, but I notice the dynamics of our friendship definitely changed. I was ok with going out with him and dating him but he wasn't giving me a clear answer on what he wanted, and I am not into guys that want booty calls, so I was like "Let's be friends!" It didn't bother me a great deal, and I was content with friendship. I would have like it to progress...but I was comfortable being friends. He wasn't really badly jealous but you could tell he had feelings for me, and he was upset about other guys and wanted to know some info about the guy. He didn't like I went out with other guys I guess....I didn't think those feelings were strong, because he seemed like he wanted to have fun. Just how I perceived it.

 

Well, I noticed he's had a mad on with me. He seems more angry with me. He barely talks to me anymore, and he doesn't like anything on my Facebook anymore. I did a multi-message text and he didn't respond, he just seems so angry with me and when I ask him why he's mad or if he's mad at me, he always says "Im fine" and never tells me. I can pick up on the fact he's mad at me, he doesn't respond to the few texts I sent to him. He barely talks to me. He is rude and kinda ignores me when he sees me, but he'll be the one that shows up at my door step randomly:confused: I don't know what I did? I know that nobody can really tell but what does it seem like to you? What makes a guy all of a sudden angry at a girl? Is it usually because they do have feelings, but it's not reciprocated? I am wondering from a guy's point of view, and if it's possible he's doing this because of him having feelings? Or if he just hates me? No idea. Please comment. Thank you for reading

 

Yea, he likes you but is mad at you because you don't like him back. Pretty common.

 

Who cares?

 

In 10 years, you'll be married with kids to the guy you like, and he'll be an acquaintance at best.

[Ashley S]

this is exactly why men have it 10 times tougher than women.

you girls expect to do nothing. the man always initiates, always faces rejection and humiliatiion and always faces competition.

and women wonder why men lack feelings and just uses women sex.

 

I believe in being equal. I don't think the man should do EVERYTHING. I don't expect my friend to keep pursuing me. I expect communication and for us to talk it through so we BOTH know where to go with the friendship. It seems I have to end the friendship without knowing anything and that is what is most bothersome to me. Not the fact that he's not falling all over me. Men do face a lot of rejection, humiliation etc. Men put a lot out there and I give them kudos for that. But I also think women face that too. Guys shouldn't categorize women like that, just because you had some women that did something wrong to you, doesn't mean they should use ALL women and and lack feelings for women. Because not every woman is the like the previous one

[Ashley S]

So you guess something has to give but you are willing to give nothing.

 

He probably feels like you don't care either and then you two keep doing this same song and dance... same song and dance you have with every other guy that you post about it.

 

Common denominator law in full effect.

 

I mean something has to give on my part. I think Graeta has good advice, but I fear of the outcome of that. When I said "I guess something has to give" I meant me. I have to do something eventually. For my own sake. I noticed that you have been complaining about my posts, if you don't like my posts then why even bother to comment? You can just scroll past it when you see my name if it bothers you that bad. No biggie

[Ashley S]

A risk? I don't see how clearing the air is a risk. It does not matter if he reciprocates or not. You are going to do this to stop the back and forth non sense. 'Joe, you may be under the impression I don't like you but I actually do like you, I wanted you to know that'. There, done. He can do what ever he wants with the information. I did not tell you to throw yourself at him body and heart. I told you to clear the air.

 

Sorry, my mistake. I still can't "clear the air", I know. I'm pathetic. I guess I just have to end the friendship without knowing. I am not dealing with this well at all. You make a lot of sense, and I see where you are coming from, I just can't bring myself to do it though. It's crazy, but thank you.

[stillcold]

The way I see it, you have two choices OP:

 

1) You keep coming here and posting about it while all we can offer you is guess work (I'm not saying this in a condescending way or to insult you or anything like other posters have, just saying for your sake to help solve your issue!) which doesn't solve the situation.

 

2) With the knowledge you now have coming here after posting about this, you take action and ask him directly and clarify all the feelings you have for him and ask him to do the same.

 

I say take option 2. I am pretty confident he likes you since what else would warrant his anger with you in dating other guys? Other than that, you will never know nor solve this issue until you talk to him about it.

 

Good luck, let us know what happens!

[Gaeta]

Sorry, my mistake. I still can't "clear the air", I know. I'm pathetic. I guess I just have to end the friendship without knowing. I am not dealing with this well at all. You make a lot of sense, and I see where you are coming from, I just can't bring myself to do it though. It's crazy, but thank you.

 

That's alright. You handle it the way you are capable of at this moment. You do the best you can and this is your best right now. The important thing is to take action. If it's easier for you to stop the friendship at least you are taking actions to end the discomfort between you 2. I wouldn't be surprised if you 2 reconnect in a couple of years when you've both matured and are less afraid of taking risks.

 

People on here have to remember you're a young woman just trying to figure out life.

[Diezel]

I mean something has to give on my part. I think Graeta has good advice, but I fear of the outcome of that. When I said "I guess something has to give" I meant me. I have to do something eventually. For my own sake. I noticed that you have been complaining about my posts, if you don't like my posts then why even bother to comment? You can just scroll past it when you see my name if it bothers you that bad. No biggie

 

Just trying to save people the time from posting the same thing that other dozens of posters have posted before in all your other threads.

 

Let's call it... a public service.

 

No biggie.

[Ashley S]

The way I see it, you have two choices OP:

 

1) You keep coming here and posting about it while all we can offer you is guess work (I'm not saying this in a condescending way or to insult you or anything like other posters have, just saying for your sake to help solve your issue!) which doesn't solve the situation.

 

2) With the knowledge you now have coming here after posting about this, you take action and ask him directly and clarify all the feelings you have for him and ask him to do the same.

 

I say take option 2. I am pretty confident he likes you since what else would warrant his anger with you in dating other guys? Other than that, you will never know nor solve this issue until you talk to him about it.

 

Good luck, let us know what happens!

 

You're right! Thank you for your feedback. It is always best to go to the source, and I did ask him if he was mad at me and he kept saying he wasn't mad at me, but he definitely is. He won't come out and say it. So I guess I do have to end the friendship without knowing and I am not taking that well at all because I am the type of person that is all about communication. To have him be so vague with me and rude and not telling why is bothersome to me, but I do have to let it go because there is nothing more I can do. Thank you.

[Ashley S]

That's alright. You handle it the way you are capable of at this moment. You do the best you can and this is your best right now. The important thing is to take action. If it's easier for you to stop the friendship at least you are taking actions to end the discomfort between you 2. I wouldn't be surprised if you 2 reconnect in a couple of years when you've both matured and are less afraid of taking risks.

 

People on here have to remember you're a young woman just trying to figure out life.

 

Thank you for the support and understanding Gaeta It's something I don't want to do, but it's something I have to do. Like I said, I went to him and asked him if he was mad at me or upset with me and he denied it and said he wasn't mad at me, when clearly he is. He won't tell me, and he is being vague with me, so there is nothing more I can do other than to end the friendship. It's hard for me because I really liked him and it's probably going to take me a long time to heal from this because of our connection....but it's something that has to be done because there is nothing else I can do.Well, there is something I can do, but I just won't do it. I am falling into a depression now because I never wanted this to happen, especially to someone I thought was going to be in my life. I have a strong bond to him, but I have to let go and it's not easy. Now I am sad, depressed, and angry. The person who I was really close with wants nothing to do with me now. It hurts.

[stillcold]

You're right! Thank you for your feedback. It is always best to go to the source, and I did ask him if he was mad at me and he kept saying he wasn't mad at me, but he definitely is. He won't come out and say it. So I guess I do have to end the friendship without knowing and I am not taking that well at all because I am the type of person that is all about communication. To have him be so vague with me and rude and not telling why is bothersome to me, but I do have to let it go because there is nothing more I can do. Thank you.

 

Tell him you are going to end the friendship if he doesn't talk, because it's making a friendship impossible with him and you still want to maintain one. I'm sure he'll talk after that. IF you still want to keep the friendship don't cut it like that, give it a chance. Good luck.

[HereAndThenGone]

What you should do is something you won't do because feelings and pride get in the way.

What you should do is matter of factly confront him and be completely honest with how you feel but at the same time, you need to convey that regardless of wether or not he wants to take you seriously and date you, you don't care because he's not your main focus and you'll be forging ahead with or without him.

 

The reason this is so hard is because you know he's a player, and ya, you might have hurt his ego because you friend zoned him, but you know that if you're open and honest with him it'll take the control away from you and give it to him, and you can already tell how he's going to use; sleep with you and leave you or he'll forget you and move on.

 

This guy has heartache written all over him. The girl that's going to go unfazed by this guy is the girl that won't let his actions affect her because he's barely on her radar.

 

You're going to get hurt by this guy either way. Unless you find some strength to just move along and focus on something/someone else.

[Ashley S]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/498337-i-don-t-know-what-i-did The guy I am talking about is in reference to this post^^ He has been rude to me lately and so I made a vow to not contact him, well.....Me and two of my girlfriends went to a bar and we got drunk. This strange dude wanted us to go back to his house to "sober up" and he was just "looking out" for us, and my one friend liked him so she was adamant on going to this guy's house and sleeping there, and I was trying to talk her out of it and my other friend was too. So, my friend put all of our lives in danger because we ended up going to this strange dude's house, and I was contacting everyone in my phone to come pick me and friends up because there was no way in hell I was going to stay in this guy's house.

 

Well, I called "Jack" the guy I am trying to not talk to because he's been rude to me and he seems like he wants nothing to do with me, well there was no answer. So I texted him this. Here's the text conversation.

 

Me: Jack where are you? I don't know what to do

Me: I am stuck at this guy's house, and I have no idea what to do?

(I texted him that at 3:30am and he didn't respond till 6:19am but my friend Craig ended up picking us up)

Jack: Are you alive?

( I responded like 6 hours later)

Me: Oh my god sorry. I was in panic mode because that stupid slut Heather (my friend) had to go to this strange dude's house we met at a ****ing bar and his room mate was wouldn't stop harassing me, they were trying to make us sleep there.... it was a total nightmare of a night. All because Jeff is an ahole (a guy I went out with) and I ditched him. Heather is a guy crazy slut who put our lives in danger. I should have just went home earlier. Sorry I was texting and calling everybody. I thought my life was over lol.

 

Jack: Sounds like you were being a little over dramatic lol.

 

Me: Lol, no Jack his room mate was weird and had swords and he even said he wondered what it would be like to cut someone's head off with a sword. I said "**** no, i'm out of here" god it was a nightmare. So...I was really scared because heather was nowhere to be found at one point and I didn't know these guys luckily Craig picked us up.

 

Me: Sorry I bothered you. It won't happen again.

 

Jack: Oh stop! I was sleeping or I would of came and got you, and my ringer is broke so my phone only vibrates.

 

Me: No, honestly it's cool. I get bothered when I get calls at 3am lol. I bother people too much. So I just need to stop haha.

 

Tell me what you think about Jack's reaction. I think he was being rude because I didn't like how he texted me and said "Are you alive?" I don't know... what do you think?

Edited October 27, 2014 by Ashley S

[Assasda]

Sounds like Jack is dodging a bullet by not being with you.

& you live a drama filled life.

Thats what I think