I don't know what I did?

[Arieswoman]

Asley.S,

 

How old are you guys?

 

Now;

So, my friend put all of our lives in danger because we ended up going to this strange dude's house,

 

No she didn't. You all put yourselves in danger because;

a. You went out and chose to get bladdered and

b. you chose to go with her.

 

I was contacting everyone in my phone to come pick me and friends up

 

so why should all your friends be responsible for sorting you out after you have made such stupid choices?

Why not call a cab and go home?

 

I called "Jack" the guy I am trying to not talk to because he's been rude to me and he seems like he wants nothing to do with me,

 

Why? He's said he doesn't want anything to do with you.

 

I think he was being rude

 

No he wasn't, he was being sarcastic. He was a lot more polite than I would have been if some drunken person had called me at 3.00.am

 

Please read this and act on it;-

 

How to stay safe on a night out

[Diezel]

How was he rude?

The woman calling him and texting him at any hours of the night because she willingly put herself into a bad situation... seems more like the rude one here.

 

Are there no cab services in your area?

[PegNosePete]

I made a vow to not contact him

...

Me: Jack where are you? I don't know what to do

Me: I am stuck at this guy's house, and I have no idea what to do?

Right, so you made a vow not to contact him unless you need something from him?

 

You tried to use him as a taxi service and re-started all the drama that you were hoping to avoid.

 

It's all on YOU! If you don't like the guy, don't text him. Period.

[Gaeta]

Well Ashley, you are not having my sympathy this time. No one broke your arm to go to this dude's place. You put your own life in danger. If you and your other friend had told Heather NO, no one is going to this guy's place and you tell the guy to back off, there would not be this story now.

 

Jack was not rude. I think you embarrassed yourself with calling him in the middle of the night hoping he would get up and come and save you, and turn into a prince charming.

 

I hope you won't do something stupid like this again (going to a stranger's house you met in a bar) unless you want to see yourself on the 6 o'clock news.

 

I suggest you stay low key with Jack and leave him alone while you mature some more.

[ExpatInItaly]

No, he wan't being rude. You are being over-dramatic and passive-aggressive.

 

Your "slut" friend didn't put your lives in danger. (Calling your friend a slut is rude, though, regardless of whether you agree with her choices or not) You decided to go with her. You made the choice not to call a cab once you were there and leave. And then you lashed out when this guy didn't respond to your antics.

 

Sorry, but I'm with the guy on this. You need to mature a bit.

[snowflakes88]

No, not rude. He seems like someone who doesn't want to deal with your melodrama, & I don't blame him. You were obviously looking for an excuse to be in contact with him and he saw right through you.

[relationship55]

Not rude at all. Think of it this way, how would you react if the tables were turned.

[CharlieFox]

Wow... After reading this post, who's being rude is the least of your problems.

 

And no, he wasn't rude, if anything, you're the one who is being rude.

 

Willingly putting yourself in a dangerous situation and then calling a guy you're apparently avoiding.... This is ALL kinds of wrong.

 

Not to mention calling your friend "a stupid slut"...

 

In all honestly, no wonder why you have trouble maintaining social contacts with guys, friends, etc.

 

With that attitude, you shouldn't be surprised that people are avoiding/ignoring you.

 

And never, I mean NEVER, go to a stranger's house if you're not comfortable with it! Have a little self-control, especially when it's your safety that's at stake!

[Zahara]

Jack: Sounds like you were being a little over dramatic lol.

 

I think you magnified and created a drama filled situation to justify contact with Jack and to provoke a response that would maybe show he cared -- a response you were hoping for. But from his responses, I would bet that he was irritated by the drama and how you carried yourself. He's probably sitting there and going, "Ugh, she gets drunk, goes back to some guy's home to do god knows what and then calls me to rescue her when she wants out."

 

No one put your life in danger. You ALL got drunk, made bad choices and ended up in some strangers home. There was no reason you couldn't take a cab.

 

And what "friend" calls another "friend" a slut? And if she is a man crazy slut that puts your lives in danger as you mentioned to Jack, why hang out with her?

 

Time to grow up.

Edited October 27, 2014 by Zahara

[Ashley S]

I understand I over-reacted. I shouldn't have called my friend those names, but I was in a distraught mood when I was saying that. I do feel bad about that. I called EVERYONE in my phone, and I was desperate to get out of there, so yes I did call Jack. I didn't want to, but like I said I was desperate to get out of there and Jack is usually out on Saturday nights, so I thought he would be out. And he's close by.

 

My friend insisted we go, and I fought with her for a half hour with the guy standing there. I fought with her saying "I am not going to his house" "Let's wait here and wait for someone to pick us up" She kept on demanding we wouldn't do that. I was between a rock and a hard place because I didn't want to go, but in the same breath I didn't want to leave my friend with this stranger. I didn't know what to do because my friend was so adamant on going and I tried to convince her that it's not good we go with this guy to his house. I was being the most rational one out of all 3 of us. I shouldn't have called her those names, but I was in an angry mood, and I was upset because she does these things all the time with other people. Thanks for everyone's input. I appreciate it. But I do feel bad about this whole situation. What should I do now? I feel bad I texted Jack I shouldn't have done that honestly. I was in desperate mode and that's what happened.

[Ashley S]

Well Ashley, you are not having my sympathy this time. No one broke your arm to go to this dude's place. You put your own life in danger. If you and your other friend had told Heather NO, no one is going to this guy's place and you tell the guy to back off, there would not be this story now.

 

Jack was not rude. I think you embarrassed yourself with calling him in the middle of the night hoping he would get up and come and save you, and turn into a prince charming.

 

I hope you won't do something stupid like this again (going to a stranger's house you met in a bar) unless you want to see yourself on the 6 o'clock news.

 

I suggest you stay low key with Jack and leave him alone while you mature some more.

 

What? Me and my friend told her "we are not going to this guy's house" I fought with her for a half hour saying we will wait in my car or we will outside of the bar, and wait for someone to pick us up, and she demanded and insisted we go to his house. I was trying to rationalize with her and I was trying to convince her this wasn't a good idea to go to his house. She insisted we would, but because I love my friend. I was between a rock and a hard place. I didn't know what to do, because I didn't want to leave her with this strange dude, I didn't want to go at the same time, but I didn't want anything to happen to her either. Thank you.

[Arieswoman]

AshleyS,

If your friend is old enough to drink then she is old enough to make her own choices. You are not her keeper/minder.

 

I was upset because she does these things all the time with other people.

 

Then stop going out with her ffs

 

but like I said I was desperate to get out of there

 

so call a cab.

 

What should I do now?

 

read that link I gave you and act on it.

[PegNosePete]

I called EVERYONE in my phone

Then you need to put a 24-hour taxi company's number in your phone, and call them first. Then you won't need to call EVERYONE at 3 o'clock in the freaking morning.

[Ashley S]

Then you need to put a 24-hour taxi company's number in your phone, and call them first. Then you won't need to call EVERYONE at 3 o'clock in the freaking morning.

 

Lol, we ran out of money so that definitely was not an option. Like idiots we only brought out so much money with us instead of just bringing our credit cards, because there was a mac machine a block away I could have withdrew money if the taxi only accepts cash. But that was out the question that night.

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

You come off as melodramatic, impulsive, and self-centered. All you did that night was demonstrate terrible judgment, over and over, then end up being incredibly insulting to your friends and angering everyone else. The worst part of this is that (if the thread title is any indication) you don't know what you did wrong.

 

Treat people how you would like to be treated. Be considerate of others' feelings. And don't leave the house without your wallet.

[PegNosePete]

Lol, we ran out of money so that definitely was not an option. Like idiots we only brought out so much money with us instead of just bringing our credit cards, because there was a mac machine a block away I could have withdrew money if the taxi only accepts cash. But that was out the question that night.

I hope you learn from your experience, and plan ahead next time.

[Zahara]

I was upset because she does these things all the time with other people.

 

So, she does this all the time and you keep ending up in strangers homes because she wants to leave with them? She does this all the time so she keeps putting you in bad situations? So, the answer to that would be to still keep hanging out with her? It's absolutely ridicilous. What's worse, knowing how volatile she is, you all decide to get drunk together, lose control and spend the limited cash that you have on booze leaving yourselves crippled.

 

But I do feel bad about this whole situation. What should I do now? I feel bad I texted Jack I shouldn't have done that honestly. I was in desperate mode and that's what happened.

 

You only feel bad because you presented yourself badly to Jack.

 

You texted him and it's done. Leave it alone. This is a lesson for you to learn. And after all that, the focus was on him being rude. SMH.

[snowflakes88]

I understand I over-reacted. I shouldn't have called my friend those names, but I was in a distraught mood when I was saying that. I do feel bad about that. I called EVERYONE in my phone, and I was desperate to get out of there, so yes I did call Jack. I didn't want to, but like I said I was desperate to get out of there and Jack is usually out on Saturday nights, so I thought he would be out. And he's close by.

 

My friend insisted we go, and I fought with her for a half hour with the guy standing there. I fought with her saying "I am not going to his house" "Let's wait here and wait for someone to pick us up" She kept on demanding we wouldn't do that. I was between a rock and a hard place because I didn't want to go, but in the same breath I didn't want to leave my friend with this stranger. I didn't know what to do because my friend was so adamant on going and I tried to convince her that it's not good we go with this guy to his house. I was being the most rational one out of all 3 of us. I shouldn't have called her those names, but I was in an angry mood, and I was upset because she does these things all the time with other people. Thanks for everyone's input. I appreciate it. But I do feel bad about this whole situation. What should I do now? I feel bad I texted Jack I shouldn't have done that honestly. I was in desperate mode and that's what happened.

 

I think you should leave him alone, tbh. It does not seem like he is interested in being your friend. Continuing to push will only make things worse.

[Ashley S]

So, she does this all the time and you keep ending up in strangers homes because she wants to leave with them? She does this all the time so she keeps putting you in bad situations? So, the answer to that would be to still keep hanging out with her? It's absolutely ridicilous. What's worse, knowing how volatile she is, you all decide to get drunk together, lose control and spend the limited cash that you have on booze leaving yourselves crippled.

 

 

 

You only feel bad because you presented yourself badly to Jack.

 

You texted him and it's done. Leave it alone. This is a lesson for you to learn. And after all that, the focus was on him being rude. SMH.

 

She does this all the time to OTHER PEOPLE. I hear stories that she does this. This is my first one with her, the other times I went out with her she didn't pull any of that crap on me where she wanted to go back to a guy's house and stay there. This is the first attempt. I do feel bad about the whole situation. Me insulting Heather even though it wasn't to her face but it was mean, and I do admit that I shouldn't have chosen those words. I feel bad that I was passive aggressive with Jack. I feel bad I called everyone, and texted everyone and I feel bad that Craig picked me up. I feel bad about EVERYTHING! The whole night, and everything. I know I over-reacted, and I feel really bad about myself.

[Zahara]

She does this all the time to OTHER PEOPLE. I hear stories that she does this. This is my first one with her, the other times I went out with her she didn't pull any of that crap on me where she wanted to go back to a guy's house and stay there.

 

So, it never crossed your mind that at some point she would possibly put you in a similar situation -- since she does it ALL THE TIME? You have no foresight? You didn't say to yourself that maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to get hammered with someone like that? You didn't say to yourself that since she has a habit of behaving badly, maybe I should stay away from her when it comes to bars and drinking? You never said to yourself what if she puts me in that situation, what should I do and do I want to be in that position? This is where you start thinking and using your maturity to make better decisions for yourself.

 

Me insulting Heather even though it wasn't to her face but it was mean, and I do admit that I shouldn't have chosen those words.

 

Behind her back is far worse than saying it to her face. It speaks of your character. Besides, if she's a man crazy slut, what does that say about you hanging out with someone you deem so negatively. It's all so fake and shallow.

 

I know I over-reacted, and I feel really bad about myself.

 

Make better choices in the future. Stay away from people that put you in bad situations. Choose your "friends" wisely. Control your alcohol.

Edited October 27, 2014 by Zahara

[Ashley S]

I feel really terrible about everything The whole night, Jack, Heather, Craig etc. I feel bad! I shouldn't have said those things about Heather, I am not making up excuses but I was really angry with her at the time and even though I didn't say those things to her face, I still shouldn't have said it and I feel really terrible because I love Heather and I worry about her because of how she makes really poor decisions. So do I, I am not disregarding myself, but I didn't want to go to that guy's house, she is careless where it's scary, and I worry about her. I feel so bad about talking like that about her. I feel bad I bothered everyone and had Craig pick us up. I feel bad that I was passive aggressive with Jack. I think the reason why I was is because I have a underlying anger towards Jack, because I really like him and considered him my best friend and someone I am close with and he seems like he doesn't want anything to do with me and I am trying my hardest to forget about it and move on but I can't. I keep trying to go out with other guys just so I don't think about it, and going out with other people in general because it is so painful to me to know I lost a good friend whom I wanted to date and be with. I can't accept it and I think that is why I am passive aggressive with Jack. I feel like a terrible person, and I hate myself for all of this. I regret posting this because I feel like I am being bullied and I feel really insecure and a terrible person. I know a lot of you are just being truthful, but I feel really bad and I don't think I am welcomed on this site when I really do like this site because I like the different perspective and opinions. But apparently nobody likes me on here and thinks I am a dramatic, attention whore. So I am sorry that I posted this and I am sorry it appears that way. Thank you.

[Zahara]

I feel bad!

 

Unfortunately you made bad decisions and with that comes repercussions. You have to just accept that what's done is done and move on from there.

 

I worry about her because of how she makes really poor decisions. So do I, I am not disregarding myself, but I didn't want to go to that guy's house, she is careless where it's scary, and I worry about her.

 

At some point you have to let people learn from their own mistakes. You don't join them and put yourself in harms way. She's a grown woman. She makes her own decisions and so do you.

 

I keep trying to go out with other guys just so I don't think about it, and going out with other people in general because it is so painful to me to know I lost a good friend whom I wanted to date and be with.

 

Maybe in times of feeling vulnerable and hurt, it would be best for you to stay off alcohol and guys. Use the time to get over that hurdle in positive ways.

 

I feel like I am being bullied and I feel really insecure and a terrible person. But apparently nobody likes me on here and thinks I am a dramatic, attention whore.

 

You behaved badly. People are calling you out because you failed to see your part in this rather titled your post as to whether Jack was being rude. Out of that whole situation Jack was at fault. Poor Ashley. You had no insight into your own behavior. Only after being called out, you now feel bad and you now hate what you hear so then it's about poor Ashley again and how she is now being bullied on the site.

Edited October 27, 2014 by Zahara

[ExpatInItaly]

I feel really terrible about everything The whole night, Jack, Heather, Craig etc. I feel bad! I shouldn't have said those things about Heather, I am not making up excuses but I was really angry with her at the time and even though I didn't say those things to her face, I still shouldn't have said it and I feel really terrible because I love Heather and I worry about her because of how she makes really poor decisions. So do I, I am not disregarding myself, but I didn't want to go to that guy's house, she is careless where it's scary, and I worry about her. I feel so bad about talking like that about her. I feel bad I bothered everyone and had Craig pick us up. I feel bad that I was passive aggressive with Jack. I think the reason why I was is because I have a underlying anger towards Jack, because I really like him and considered him my best friend and someone I am close with and he seems like he doesn't want anything to do with me and I am trying my hardest to forget about it and move on but I can't. I keep trying to go out with other guys just so I don't think about it, and going out with other people in general because it is so painful to me to know I lost a good friend whom I wanted to date and be with. I can't accept it and I think that is why I am passive aggressive with Jack. I feel like a terrible person, and I hate myself for all of this. I regret posting this because I feel like I am being bullied and I feel really insecure and a terrible person. I know a lot of you are just being truthful, but I feel really bad and I don't think I am welcomed on this site when I really do like this site because I like the different perspective and opinions. But apparently nobody likes me on here and thinks I am a dramatic, attention whore. So I am sorry that I posted this and I am sorry it appears that way. Thank you.

 

This is exactly the passive-aggressive attitude the posters here are calling you out on. It is the reason why people here and apparently in your real life (ie. Jack) lose patience with you. You become petulant when people hold you accountable for your actions, and position yourself in the victim role, trying to make others feel guilty. I don't think you're a terrible person, but you have some growing up to do.

[Diezel]

I understand I over-reacted. I shouldn't have called my friend those names, but I was in a distraught mood when I was saying that. I do feel bad about that. I called EVERYONE in my phone, and I was desperate to get out of there, so yes I did call Jack. I didn't want to, but like I said I was desperate to get out of there and Jack is usually out on Saturday nights, so I thought he would be out. And he's close by.

 

My friend insisted we go, and I fought with her for a half hour with the guy standing there. I fought with her saying "I am not going to his house" "Let's wait here and wait for someone to pick us up" She kept on demanding we wouldn't do that. I was between a rock and a hard place because I didn't want to go, but in the same breath I didn't want to leave my friend with this stranger. I didn't know what to do because my friend was so adamant on going and I tried to convince her that it's not good we go with this guy to his house. I was being the most rational one out of all 3 of us. I shouldn't have called her those names, but I was in an angry mood, and I was upset because she does these things all the time with other people.

 

Translation: I don't know how to accept responsibility for my own mistakes and actions so I'll blame everyone else for anything that happens to me.

 

You called EEEEEVERYONE except a taxi.

 

Did you call your parents? Or your friend's parents? Or a taxi?

 

And was your friend pointing a Smith and Wesson to your head when she said you HAD to go to his house!?

 

I don't understand why you can't make conscious decisions on your own and THIS is why people (including myself) just roll their eyes when you post, because every single one has the same theme: Them, they, him, her... ever so subtly it's what everyone else has done or did or will do and never about you.

 

In your world, you are just an innocent bystander.

 

You don't realize you are the creator of your own drama.

 

Once you do, you'll be able to move on from all of that.

[Ashley S]

This is exactly the passive-aggressive attitude the posters here are calling you out on. It is the reason why people here and apparently in your real life (ie. Jack) lose patience with you. You become petulant when people hold you accountable for your actions, and position yourself in the victim role, trying to make others feel guilty. I don't think you're a terrible person, but you have some growing up to do.

 

I wasn't being condescending or passive aggressive on what you put in bold. I wasn't being passive aggressive period. I was saying that I felt bad, and it's hard to read through text because you don't know what the way the person is saying it, I do apologize it was taken in a passive aggressive way to you.

 

Translation: I don't know how to accept responsibility for my own mistakes and actions so I'll blame everyone else for anything that happens to me.

 

You called EEEEEVERYONE except a taxi.

 

Did you call your parents? Or your friend's parents? Or a taxi?

 

And was your friend pointing a Smith and Wesson to your head when she said you HAD to go to his house!?

 

I don't understand why you can't make conscious decisions on your own and THIS is why people (including myself) just roll their eyes when you post, because every single one has the same theme: Them, they, him, her... ever so subtly it's what everyone else has done or did or will do and never about you.

 

In your world, you are just an innocent bystander.

 

You don't realize you are the creator of your own drama.

 

Once you do, you'll be able to move on from all of that.

 

The idiot that I am only brought out so much money, I didn't have my purse on me otherwise I would have called a cab or something. I left my credit cards at home. And I paid for my friends so they had no money. I am not coming on here to play victim. I don't know why I am being perceived that way? I am not saying I am innocent. I feel bad about the whole situation and I know where I was wrong. I didn't realize this when everyone called me out, I felt bad and I was conflicted and now that I cooled off I realized that I over-reacted and made a fool out of myself and made poor decisions. I don't want a pity party, I am glad that everyone shared their piece and their opinion it made me realize even more how much I over-reacted. I appreciate everyone for that. But I guess I just felt a bit bullied in a way too. It's just what I feel. Thanks.