I think this is the End of it.. Very depressed..(Updated)

[hello234]

Ok all,

 

after all of my posts for the last month, I think this is officially the end of my affair with MM..

 

Now my husb found out after seeing some texts, and also texted him not to contact me so I didnt have the heart to continue cheating so i told MM that we will listen to my hubby and not be in touch. Actually my words were "lets be low key for sometime" what I mean is not really in touch, just very minimal.. Because as much as I do wanna end this and him out of my life, it is seriously sooo painful for me..So im the one who cut him off and today I saw that he blocked me from text, but not FB.

 

I guess he has had a change of mind and decided to this time not pursue me at all and just walk away, But I am just feeling very unsettled for some reason.. I don't want him to go brag to his wife that "yeah, I blocked her" and think that HE is the one who cut ME off, and that HE is the one who walked away when I was the one who told him I don't want us to continue the contact..Ugh...

 

AM I thinking too much? Just let it go?? But I still like him so much and I terribly miss him and attracted to him I just dunno how im gonna get through this, please help, im in tears... (

[Owl]

I've posted my suggestions to you before in your previous threads as to how you 'get over this'.

 

Focus on your marriage...either fixing it or ending it.

 

Even in this thread, mentioning that your H 'found out'...there's virtually zero focus on his reaction, what you're going to do on that front, etc...

 

That needs to change.

[Blackknight]

Ok all,

 

after all of my posts for the last month, I think this is officially the end of my affair with MM..

 

Now my husb found out after seeing some texts, and also texted him not to contact me so I didnt have the heart to continue cheating so i told MM that we will listen to my hubby and not be in touch. Actually my words were "lets be low key for sometime" what I mean is not really in touch, just very minimal.. Because as much as I do wanna end this and him out of my life, it is seriously sooo painful for me..So im the one who cut him off and today I saw that he blocked me from text, but not FB.

 

I guess he has had a change of mind and decided to this time not pursue me at all and just walk away, But I am just feeling very unsettled for some reason.. I don't want him to go brag to his wife that "yeah, I blocked her" and think that HE is the one who cut ME off, and that HE is the one who walked away when I was the one who told him I don't want us to continue the contact..Ugh...

 

AM I thinking too much? Just let it go?? But I still like him so much and I terribly miss him and attracted to him I just dunno how im gonna get through this, please help, im in tears... (

 

I think You are either trying to be in control or you want the moral high ground. Sorry hun, when we wallow in pig filth none of us are clean. You said no more communication so how did you know he blocked texting... Unless you already contacted him again. He obviously is better at NC than you. Stop worrying about these things and do some growing up.

[Sub]

...so i told MM that we will listen to my hubby and not be in touch. Actually my words were "lets be low key for sometime" what I mean is not really in touch, just very minimal...

 

I would consider counseling for yourself. You seem to lack, among other things, self-control. I'm also guessing you have some form of ADD or ADHD.

[scatterd]

Sorry for your pain. You should either go to counseling with your husband or divorce. I am saying this because you plan on laying low for a while and then continuing later. This OM is married you mentioned he was going to tell his wife something. Does this mean she knows? I know this a painful time and you feel lost you can heal but you need to figure out who you want though.This is not fair for either of your partners.The OM is doing what your husband told him to do which most would.Is he concerned about his wife that I do not get.

[2sunny]

Did your husband lay down any other consequences for you?

 

It looks like you don't intend to respect your husband/marriage at all.

 

Why not divorce?

[hello234]

My husband and I are NOT gonna divorce..

 

So my main problem here is that MM blocked me and I don't want him to think that HE is the one walking away when I am the one that first told him I wanna respect my husband and not continue..I will Never let a damn lousy MM have the upper hand or feel that he rejected me.. and I don't want him to be all switching the story to his wife saying that He is the who has cut me off and blocked me.. Ugh.. So what about this?

[whichwayisup]

My husband and I are NOT gonna divorce..

 

So my main problem here is that MM blocked me and I don't want him to think that HE is the one walking away when I am the one that first told him I wanna respect my husband and not continue..I will Never let a damn lousy MM have the upper hand or feel that he rejected me.. and I don't want him to be all switching the story to his wife saying that He is the who has cut me off and blocked me.. Ugh.. So what about this?

 

You have absolutely no control over what your (ex)MM does, or says to his wife, and what she thinks/believes. Who cares?? Your A with him is over, right?

 

It's good he's blocked you. Maybe he actually is done. You should be too!

 

Time to either fix your marriage or divorce. You can't keep living like this, it's unfair to everybody, and yes, even to you as well!

[Sub]

I am the one that first told him I wanna respect my husband and not continue..

 

Actually my words were "lets be low key for sometime" what I mean is not really in touch, just very minimal...

 

[HermioneG]

My husband and I are NOT gonna divorce..

 

So my main problem here is that MM blocked me and I don't want him to think that HE is the one walking away when I am the one that first told him I wanna respect my husband and not continue..I will Never let a damn lousy MM have the upper hand or feel that he rejected me.. and I don't want him to be all switching the story to his wife saying that He is the who has cut me off and blocked me.. Ugh.. So what about this?

 

This matters not even one little bit. What he tells his wife has nothing to do with the rest of your life.

[purplesorrow]

My husband and I are NOT gonna divorce..

 

So my main problem here is that MM blocked me and I don't want him to think that HE is the one walking away when I am the one that first told him I wanna respect my husband and not continue..I will Never let a damn lousy MM have the upper hand or feel that he rejected me.. and I don't want him to be all switching the story to his wife saying that He is the who has cut me off and blocked me.. Ugh.. So what about this?

 

You had a dday and this is what you're focused on? The fact that you wrote this post shows you're giving him the upper hand. You already feel rejected because he blocked you. He could be telling his wife that you are an angel sent straight from heaven, she's just going to see you as the woman who had an affair with her husband. How would you remedy this? Call his wife to see if the stories match?

[Allumere]

My husband and I are NOT gonna divorce..

 

So my main problem here is that MM blocked me and I don't want him to think that HE is the one walking away when I am the one that first told him I wanna respect my husband and not continue..I will Never let a damn lousy MM have the upper hand or feel that he rejected me.. and I don't want him to be all switching the story to his wife saying that He is the who has cut me off and blocked me.. Ugh.. So what about this?

 

Seriously? You sound like a 12 year old. Knock it off! He has had the upper-hand the whole time why would it be different now.

 

LET IT GO!

 

Focus on fixing your marriage NOW if you really love your husband (I am absolutely not getting that vibe) because I guarantee if you don't, if your husband doesn't get the vibe you are "in it to win it" he will walk away from you too.

 

You have a chance here. Swallow you damn ignorant pride, own all your mistakes, stop projecting the wrongs all on the other person and fix this. Many WS weren't given this opportunity...one I would bet they would have treasured after that fog finally lifted.

[beach]

My husband and I are NOT gonna divorce..

 

So my main problem here is that MM blocked me and I don't want him to think that HE is the one walking away when I am the one that first told him I wanna respect my husband and not continue..I will Never let a damn lousy MM have the upper hand or feel that he rejected me.. and I don't want him to be all switching the story to his wife saying that He is the who has cut me off and blocked me.. Ugh.. So what about this?

 

You say you want the upper hand but you keep handing him all YOUR power. Even by being depressed over what he does or doesn't do.

 

That's on you - because you have a choice not to hand him all your power yet you've continued to do that.

 

You seem to want to be in charge of everything! That must be exhausting.

[whatatangledweb]

My husband and I are NOT gonna divorce..

 

So my main problem here is that MM blocked me and I don't want him to think that HE is the one walking away when I am the one that first told him I wanna respect my husband and not continue..I will Never let a damn lousy MM have the upper hand or feel that he rejected me.. and I don't want him to be all switching the story to his wife saying that He is the who has cut me off and blocked me.. Ugh.. So what about this?

 

You both cut each other off. You both ended it. You made the first start and he completed it. Either of you can say you ended it and be correct. It doesn't matter what he feels or tells his wife. Did you start the ending because you wanted him to chase you? It comes across that you are mad and hurt that he didn't. The affair is over now it is time to move on.

[hello234]

Please don't keep saying he has all the power all this while and drive me to deeper depression..

 

I am the one who never initiated meetups with him, never called him, he also always used to ask me why I never show much interest.. I am the one who initiated we be friends and break off twice.. and he always used to say that I never showed much love.. and now my hubby found out so once again I told him I don't think I can go on..So i guess he blocked cuz he didnt wanna keep seeing me in his text list.. NOW HONESTLY TELL ME Does it really seem that HE has the power here and that he is the one who rejected me???

[purplesorrow]

Please don't keep saying he has all the power all this while and drive me to deeper depression..

 

I am the one who never initiated meetups with him, never called him, he also always used to ask me why I never show much interest.. I am the one who initiated we be friends and break off twice.. and he always used to say that I never showed much love.. and now my hubby found out so once again I told him I don't think I can go on..So i guess he blocked cuz he didnt wanna keep seeing me in his text list.. NOW HONESTLY TELL ME Does it really seem that HE has the power here and that he is the one who rejected me???

 

Ok...you have the power. Now what?

[lovinDKT3]

Please don't keep saying he has all the power all this while and drive me to deeper depression..

 

I am the one who never initiated meetups with him, never called him, he also always used to ask me why I never show much interest.. I am the one who initiated we be friends and break off twice.. and he always used to say that I never showed much love.. and now my hubby found out so once again I told him I don't think I can go on..So i guess he blocked cuz he didnt wanna keep seeing me in his text list.. NOW HONESTLY TELL ME Does it really seem that HE has the power here and that he is the one who rejected me???

 

Yes, he does. The fact that you know already that he blocked you shows you tried to contact him.

 

Also, you seem pretty confident that your husband won't divorce you, I wouldn't be so sure about. In fact its more likely that he does.

[hello234]

I would never contact him myself and loose my dignity and respect like that.. I can guarantee that 100%..Unless he is sitting in the hospital from an accident God forbid, or something of that sort..

 

 

I dint try to contact, I can know if someone blocks me , cuz I cannot see their status anymore.. Anyway... I guess there is nothing else to say..

 

I Know i sound immature but I just don't want this to be like HE cut ME off.. u know? .. There is still FB where he did not block me.. Let me have the last say then and block him from there, then we will have no means of contact whatsoever..

[hello234]

and ok.. SO he blocked me.. and now I need to work on my relation with hubby.. I will..

 

and what is the dignified way to be in response to him blocking me? How should I think that will help me be confident? Should I think like "he blocked me.. oh well.. I hope he finds the love and care he is looking for elsewhere and its the best for him to block me..i wish him a great life" I already feel kind of good and confident thinking this way.. So is this how I should be thinking? what thought will help build my confidence and take me out of depression?

[Lurkeraspect]

I would never contact him myself and loose my dignity and respect like that.. I can guarantee that 100%..Unless he is sitting in the hospital from an accident God forbid, or something of that sort..

 

 

I dint try to contact, I can know if someone blocks me , cuz I cannot see their status anymore.. Anyway... I guess there is nothing else to say..

 

I Know i sound immature but I just don't want this to be like HE cut ME off.. u know? .. There is still FB where he did not block me.. Let me have the last say then and block him from there, then we will have no means of contact whatsoever..

 

Yes, you're correct! This ALL sounds very immature and juvenile. If you want this to be over, just block him already, be done. If you want your marriage to end, keep playing games.

 

I really don't believe your husband knows anything. But keep it up and he most certainly will.

[lovinDKT3]

I would never contact him myself and loose my dignity and respect like that.. I can guarantee that 100%..Unless he is sitting in the hospital from an accident God forbid, or something of that sort..

 

 

I dint try to contact, I can know if someone blocks me , cuz I cannot see their status anymore.. Anyway... I guess there is nothing else to say..

 

I Know i sound immature but I just don't want this to be like HE cut ME off.. u know? .. There is still FB where he did not block me.. Let me have the last say then and block him from there, then we will have no means of contact whatsoever..

 

I have loosely followed your story and its really hard to believe.

 

What I have a hard time with, even as a fWW myself, is the total lack of care and respect for your husband. Its the worst I've seen in my time here. I mean its really disturbing.

[lovinDKT3]

and ok.. SO he blocked me.. and now I need to work on my relation with hubby.. I will..

 

and what is the dignified way to be in response to him blocking me? How should I think that will help me be confident? Should I think like "he blocked me.. oh well.. I hope he finds the love and care he is looking for elsewhere and its the best for him to block me..i wish him a great life" I already feel kind of good and confident thinking this way.. So is this how I should be thinking? what thought will help build my confidence and take me out of depression?

 

You need to start thinking about your husband. Trust me, that is now a relationship you have very little control over now. I just don't see how YOU will be able to make it work. I fear that soon you will be posting "my husband left me"

[Quiet Storm]

Why is having the upper hand so valuable to you? Why is it important that others perceive you as the one with the power or the one in control?

[A.Moscote]

Does it really seem that HE has the power here and that he is the one who rejected me???

Based on what you have told us now, and excluding your denial of it, yes, it does seems so.

 

I Know i sound immature but I just don't want this to be like HE cut ME off..

...what is the dignified way to be in response to him blocking me? How should I think that will help me be confident?

Why? What is so important about who cut it off first? Help you be confident in what? In denying things to your H?

 

I think he acted swiftly not because to reject you, or to appear so, but more likely to be safe, to avoid messy situation.

[hello234]

Based on what you have told us now, and excluding your denial of it, yes, it does seems so.

 

 

 

Why? What is so important about who cut it off first? Help you be confident in what? In denying things to your H?

 

I think he acted swiftly not because to reject you, or to appear so, but more likely to be safe, to avoid messy situation.

YES! it is important to me that it doesn't look like HE is the one who rejected, cuz I would never let an MM who just wanted me on his side, be the person to reject me.. IF someone who really loved me in a normal relation rejected me, I would agree that Yes he did, but never a lousy MM.. SO tell me, why does it look like he did??? I just cant stand this.. I am the one who told him that I wanna cut our contact cuz I don't wanna hurt hubby.. so in turn he blocked me I guess..or I donno why he blocked..