Jessicafletcher Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Hello, so my boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years. About a year ago, he took a job where he has to travel for work. He's gone weeks at a time when and it's been kind of rough on our relationship. We've always had a very honest relationship and we've never cheated on each other previously. Last month, while he was gone he went to a bar and told me about it and I asked him to text me when he got home. It came to be one in the morning and he hadn't called so i called him. He ended up being completly wasted and was being really sketchy. I knew he was lying to me about something. As the days went by from there, he got really distant and weird. I knew he was hiding something from me. I asked him multiple times about that night and he gave me the same story and said nothing happened. The a month later he came home to visit for four days. He was extremely distant and just cold towards me. And I didn't know what was going on. I thought it was stress from his job and just tried to let it go but I felt he was hiding something. A few days after he left I checked his phone plan and found out he had been texting a strange number everyday from morning till night for about a month. Turns out it was a girl he met at the bar the night I knew he lied to me. I called him and confronted him and He said she asked him for his number and he said no I have a girlfriend and she said she doesn't have to know and he said that's wrong and he won't do that and then she promised him they could just be friends then so he gave it to her.. He told me he didn't know how to tell me so he just didn't. And that he wanted to tell me lots of times but got scared and then it went a point where he felt like he couldn't tell me anymore. He said we had been fighting a lot and he had nobody to talk to and she was giving him advice about our relationship. He said they never flirted and they were only friends and that she was into cars a trucks like to him and they talked about that a lot. Then I found out when he was driving back to work after he visited me, he called her on the phone for an hour and also was trying to text her when he was home with me. I also got ahold of her and she told me they were just friends and she was going to help him fix something on his truck. He never told me they were going to hang out. He lied to me about so many things and I don't know if he cheated or not. He also wouldn't show me the messages between them and told me they were his business. I think that's wrong and it makes me think he really did cheat on me. He told me that he will stop talking to her and he knows it was wrong and he screwed up and he'll never talk to her again and so far he hasn't that I know of. But now I don't trust him at all and I really don't know what to do. I don't know if what he did is cheating or if he ever cheated and is not telling me. I love him but I don't know how to heal from this and if I could ever trust him again. Lately he's been really nice to me and he's treating me like he used too before this happened but I still just don't know what to do, it still really bothers me. Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 The guy is cheating (cheated) on you, no-brainer. If she was a friend, which would have been a bad idea to begin with, you'd know about her. He would have introduced you to her. Did he do any of that? No.. he texts her from sun up to sun down, and calls her for extended periods of time. He got busted and put a quick story together, which you bought, since it's easier than facing the truth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mercuryshadow Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 If it were innocent, he would have had nothing to hide nor anything to feel guilty about. There have been a string of lies thus far and there is no evidence in favor of his innocence. Committed men do not behave like this. I was with a guy for around 6 years who engaged in very similar behavior. However, it wasn't my naivety that allowed it to happen many times after the first incident...it was my lack of self respect and ignorance of my intuition. His stories were vapid and always changing/evolving. I was an emotional wreck for a very long time. I hope you'll free yourself of this torment and allow yourself peace of mind, which appears may only be accomplished by ending your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Yep, the ass is cheating. Let go of him, you don't need a boyfriend like this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 I have no idea if he physically cheated or not but it doesn't matter. He violated your trust & he lied. He's also actively pursuing this other woman. My husband is out of town for business training for the next month. He texts me in the morning & calls me at night. I get a play by play of every social thing he did all day. For instance the hotel where he is staying has a happy hour where guests get a free domestic beer, wine or well drink. He ordered a dark import & the bartender tried to talk him out of it. DH explained that he wanted to drink what he liked & it didn't matter that the other stuff was free. Then he told me about some woman from his class who had the same "argument" with the bartender. She wanted the top shelf stuff she wanted; not the free swill. DH & her "bonded" over their principles. He ended that story by telling me that woman is looking forward to meeting me when I come to the city where he is on Friday. That is trust. What your guy did is wrong. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts