What is she implying????

[PegNosePete]

Seems like she's shagging "PERSON A" too, then. Why would she have such an irrational reaction, otherwise?

 

OP I'm not sure what you're wanting here mate. There's no point us repeating the same thing over and over. You know what we're all going to say, and you're going to ignore it.

 

10 Real Differences Between Being In Love And Loving Someone

 

What is she implying now???????????????

She is not "implying" anything. She is telling you quite explicitly that she is not in love with you.

[Diezel]

Look, if he did get dumped-on and is hurt, it's not going to do him any good to do a victory dance on his grave and rub it in. All we can hope is that whatever hurt this has brought will be enough for him to finally break through the fog.

 

I will still regret that he got hurt - I don't feel any glee about that, just because he didn't follow everyone's advice - but hopefully the bandage gets ripped off early and quickly enough to let the healing begin before a much worse infection would have started to grow.

 

No one is doing a victory dance.

 

Would you rather this get prolonged and dragged out even longer?

I'd rather something be the trigger now and he get over it then post 10 more pages.

[Diezel]

 

Now she saids that she is NEVER talking to PERSON A because its going to cause alot of drama at work and she is really stress out. I stright up told her I AM SORRY!. I had NO INTENTION TO SPREAD Rumors or become friends with him. Now she saids that we should talk LESS and she doesnt even want to talk to me tonight.

 

 

I don't know what i did. I mean this really sucks and i texted her and told her "i am here if she needs someone to talk to".

 

 

Now i am sad and depressed and i doubt we will do anything this weekend now....

 

I can almost guarantee she is using this as an out to not get with you this weekend. I knew something would happen to trigger her not staying over.

 

She's got THREE of you firmly in her claws, AT WORK.

 

You need to get away from this girl and FAST. This is only going to get worse.

 

You are constantly walking on eggshells with her and playing her game. You lost a LONG time ago and you don't even realize it yet. You are apologizing to her... for just talking to someone? This is what her argument is about? Because she saw you two IMing each other?

[whatdoido123]

Seems like she's shagging "PERSON A" too, then. Why would she have such an irrational reaction, otherwise?

 

OP I'm not sure what you're wanting here mate. There's no point us repeating the same thing over and over. You know what we're all going to say, and you're going to ignore it.

 

 

She is not "implying" anything. She is telling you quite explicitly that she is not in love with you.

 

 

Really? That website she texted me she just is telling me that there is no love between us? Wtffffff

[PegNosePete]

Yes, did you even read the website? Which do her actions suggest - that she is in love with you, that she loves you, or neither? Because I can't see anything even closely resembling her behaviour in that article.

[whatdoido123]

Yes, did you even read the website? Which do her actions suggest - that she is in love with you, that she loves you, or neither? Because I can't see anything even closely resembling her behaviour in that article.

 

 

I couldn't really understand the article because it was written pretty bad. But when she texted me "Read this" I could not determine if she loves me or is in love with me. That's the problem so I figured what it means when an ex gf text me something like that out of the blues

[Simon Phoenix]

I couldn't really understand the article because it was written pretty bad. But when she texted me "Read this" I could not determine if she loves me or is in love with me. That's the problem so I figured what it means when an ex gf text me something like that out of the blues

 

It means that she has you by the balls and you are too foolish and weak to realize what's going on. I mean, what does she have to do to you for you to wake the f--k up, get your self-respect back, and move forward? Does she have to f--k one of the other two guys in front of you? Does she have to stab you in the heart? Does she have to empty out your bank account? Does she have to yell at you and insult you at work in front of everyone.

 

She's not in love with you. She doesn't love you. She doesn't really even respect you. And honestly, you aren't giving her reason to respect you. You're a doormat right now. I just hope you figure this out soon instead of just stupidly stumbling around and making yourself look and feel even worse. I hope you wake up, I really do. Your posting is just painful to read right now.

[SoThatHappened]

OP,

 

At this point in the game, are you ready to heed the advice given and at least TRY to cut her out of your life?

 

Just tell her:

 

"I'm out. Done. No mas. I can't do this anymore. Please don't contact me again."

 

I just know you won't, and even if you did, you'll fall for every breadcrumb anyway.

 

Sooo, I guess just keep doing what you're doing. Either she's going to string you along until you finally snap, or you're going to eventually learn to let go completely.

 

Just think of the fun things you could be doing and how productive you could be if you'd never met this girl...

[Diezel]

I couldn't really understand the article because it was written pretty bad. But when she texted me "Read this" I could not determine if she loves me or is in love with me. That's the problem so I figured what it means when an ex gf text me something like that out of the blues

 

If she cheated on you and she is cheating on him, then she is NOT in love with you.

 

who cares what she sent you, her actions are speaking a LOT louder than anything else.

[whatdoido123]

It really sucks because she seems very cold toward me today. Usually she ain't like this and she told me not to text her tonight and if I need to reach her contact her email...

 

 

I mean she told me because her current bf looks over her shoulder and questions her but still this sucks and of course she is busy tonight......

[whatdoido123]

I guess I won't reach out to her, and if she wants to talk to me she can reach me easily. Let's see how this goes

[Simon Phoenix]

It really sucks because she seems very cold toward me today. Usually she ain't like this and she told me not to text her tonight and if I need to reach her contact her email...

 

 

I mean she told me because her current bf looks over her shoulder and questions her but still this sucks and of course she is busy tonight......

 

Maybe you should get a clue and leave her alone then.

[whatdoido123]

Maybe you should get a clue and leave her alone then.

 

 

So much negativity

 

I'm just sad cuz this isn't working out so far and i am running out of ideas

[Simon Phoenix]

So much negativity

 

I'm just sad cuz this isn't working out so far and i am running out of ideas

 

Because everything you are doing sucks and because you don't listen to anyone. That's why everyone is negative and that's why you are making an ass out of yourself and not having any success. You need to leave her alone and get your s--t together. Until you do that, there will be nothing but negativity and pain. You seem driven to act in the stupidest way possible, and this is what happens when you do such a thing. I don't know whether to feel sorry for you or start punching you repeatedly to get you to remove your head from your butt and start acting like a rational human being.

[Herpderp]

This isn't negativity. This is the harsh truth.

Dumper go through alot of thinking before they finally make the move to dump the dumpee. THE DECISION Isnt GONNA REVERSE SO EASILY. you want her back? Give her what she wants. Step out of her life. Let her experience life without u. Maybe one fine day she will see that she made a mistake and come back. But chances are by then, you aren't interested anymore.

 

I don't even know why I bother typing this when I know you aren't gonna even listen to a single bit of our advice

[Tabitha87]

Wow. This is pretty painful to read. I thought my "love" life was confusing!

 

I called it, as soon as I started reading this thread, that it would be a guy from work that she is currently dating & that it is VERY likely it had been going on for quite some time before she finally broke up with you. Even if they hadn't been having sex at that point, the intent was there.

 

As I continued to read on, I also bet on the fact that she'd be really upset if you somehow talked to this guy and/or she thought you would tell him what she's been up to.

 

I doubt very much that she has ANY sort of intentions of being with you exclusively. I think she somehow gets off on the fact that she had 2 guys wanting to be with her and that would CLEARLY do anything for her, even if that means putting her above your own sanity. She's acting quite selfishly, really.

 

I mean think about it, honestly, for a bit. She likely cheated on you & even if she didn't, she had a new BF VERY quickly! If she truly broke up with you because you claim to have acted poorly towards her, then she would've just broken up with you and probably waited a while (at least a month or two) to see if you would actually change the way she felt you needed to. She didn't do though.

 

Does it not tell you something that she became defensive when she seen you were talking to the new guy? Does that not make you wonder the slightest as to why she'd be so upset about it? I mean seriously! She's scared as hell, I'm sure, that you'll end up telling the new guy what has actually been going on and what she's up to. He likely is fed all kinds of BS about how she thinks you're this or that and none of it positive. I'm guessing she beats you down to him. I'd bet money on it!

 

Did it not tell you ANYTHING when she asked if you'd take her back if things don't work out with the new guy? You're a backup plan! If things don't work out, she thinks you'll be there waiting with open arms & she already be looking for the next new guy.

 

This will never work with her, or anyone else for that matter, if you don't start putting yourself first! The ONLY person who you should find happiness in is yourself. Everything and everyone else is supposed to just increase your happiness. You can never rely on others to make you happy. You'll sadly be disappointed if that's the case.

 

I'm not going to say to stop thinking about her, but I dp lnow that you need to live your life without relying on her being in the equation. You have to do some real soul searching and find out what it is that YOU do that makes YOU happy (i.e. spprts, going to the gym, helping your community), but you gotta find something. We ALL have that one thing we do that makes and keeps us happy. You just have to find what yours is, if you haven't already.

 

Honestly though, if there's ANY hope of getting back together with her, she'll be more attractive to you when you can fully function on your own and are happy with yourself and your life. It's also only then that you'll be able to actually change and keep with the changes (as long you keep using your outlet that makes/keeps you happy). If you guys get together too soon, without having made changes towards your own happiness, you'll more than likely fall back into old habits and be right where you are now. Sad and lonely.

 

I feel for you. I really do! It's a pretty miserable place/predicament to be in. Honestly though, life goes on and gets better, sometimes even the best it's ever been. Just be patient.

 

I know this may sound silly, but try this (it worked for me). Everuday I wrote down 3 things that I liked about myself. Sometimes they were things I didn't like too, but I would always write 3 things. I then asked myself how I could improve and/or emphasize those things. By 6 months, I was the happiest I'd in a long time and finally got the courage to end my relationship with my kids' father that had lasted nearly 9 years. I haven't been this happy in a long time & it's only been a month since I broke up with him! Since I got rid of all the negativity, everything seems to be working out now!

 

Good luck!

[whatdoido123]

Because everything you are doing sucks and because you don't listen to anyone. That's why everyone is negative and that's why you are making an ass out of yourself and not having any success. You need to leave her alone and get your s--t together. Until you do that, there will be nothing but negativity and pain. You seem driven to act in the stupidest way possible, and this is what happens when you do such a thing. I don't know whether to feel sorry for you or start punching you repeatedly to get you to remove your head from your butt and start acting like a rational human being.

 

This isn't negativity. This is the harsh truth.

Dumper go through alot of thinking before they finally make the move to dump the dumpee. THE DECISION Isnt GONNA REVERSE SO EASILY. you want her back? Give her what she wants. Step out of her life. Let her experience life without u. Maybe one fine day she will see that she made a mistake and come back. But chances are by then, you aren't interested anymore.

 

I don't even know why I bother typing this when I know you aren't gonna even listen to a single bit of our advice

 

 

Yeah i do see it and its tough. I feel like i have tried my VERY BEST and i have failed in the worst ways possible. The funny thing is she emailed me just now saying to "let her be tonight" and tmrow we can talk and hangout because she is FREE all weekend. Its sickening to hear something like that.

[whatdoido123]

@TABITHA87

 

 

Thanks for the honest and thoughtful message. It means alot to me that you also understand where i am coming from. Life is rough, but its how you go about it. The thing is i don't feel HAPPY at all when i am not around her. She makes me laugh and giggle and i find happiness when i am around her.

 

Its also tough working at the same company as her. She told me that she cut off all contacts with "PERSON A". I actually believe her and she showed me proof of her cussing out "PERSON A.

 

Anyways she literally told me that she wants to hang out tommrow and this weekend, but now i am having second thoughts. I mean the last time i hung out with my ex gf was when i went for a 3 hour drive last Sunday. It was one of my better days. I just don't understand how she can have quite a mood swing from one day to another.

 

And lets say i agree to hang out after work tommrow. Supposely she want to hang out at my place and DRINK and talk. But i feel like its not a good idea because anything can happen when we are drunk. I don't want to be "THAT GUY". NOw i am second guessing if i should agree to her wishes.

 

 

Why does life have to be so complicated??? I swear i just want a normal life with a loving gf who is commited to me and that i am HAPPY with. How hard can it be serously!!!!!

[Simon Phoenix]

@TABITHA87

 

 

Thanks for the honest and thoughtful message. It means alot to me that you also understand where i am coming from. Life is rough, but its how you go about it. The thing is i don't feel HAPPY at all when i am not around her. She makes me laugh and giggle and i find happiness when i am around her.

 

Its also tough working at the same company as her. She told me that she cut off all contacts with "PERSON A". I actually believe her and she showed me proof of her cussing out "PERSON A.

 

Anyways she literally told me that she wants to hang out tommrow and this weekend, but now i am having second thoughts. I mean the last time i hung out with my ex gf was when i went for a 3 hour drive last Sunday. It was one of my better days. I just don't understand how she can have quite a mood swing from one day to another.

 

And lets say i agree to hang out after work tommrow. Supposely she want to hang out at my place and DRINK and talk. But i feel like its not a good idea because anything can happen when we are drunk. I don't want to be "THAT GUY". NOw i am second guessing if i should agree to her wishes.

 

 

Why does life have to be so complicated??? I swear i just want a normal life with a loving gf who is commited to me and that i am HAPPY with. How hard can it be serously!!!!!

 

The only one making this complicated is you. She's just playing with you and you don't have the self-esteem or common sense to realize it. You need to stop talking to her and you need to stop contributing to the drama. At this point everything bad that happens to you is self-inflicted because you don't have the good sense to walk away.

[Heartache79]

Man this is painful to read!!! Ugh!! Like I said before....enough is enough. Think about it. Do you really want to live a drama and BS filled life?!?!?

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

@TABITHA87

 

 

Thanks for the honest and thoughtful message. It means alot to me that you also understand where i am coming from. Life is rough, but its how you go about it. The thing is i don't feel HAPPY at all when i am not around her. She makes me laugh and giggle and i find happiness when i am around her.

 

Its also tough working at the same company as her. She told me that she cut off all contacts with "PERSON A". I actually believe her and she showed me proof of her cussing out "PERSON A.

 

Anyways she literally told me that she wants to hang out tommrow and this weekend, but now i am having second thoughts. I mean the last time i hung out with my ex gf was when i went for a 3 hour drive last Sunday. It was one of my better days. I just don't understand how she can have quite a mood swing from one day to another.

 

And lets say i agree to hang out after work tommrow. Supposely she want to hang out at my place and DRINK and talk. But i feel like its not a good idea because anything can happen when we are drunk. I don't want to be "THAT GUY". NOw i am second guessing if i should agree to her wishes.

 

 

Why does life have to be so complicated??? I swear i just want a normal life with a loving gf who is commited to me and that i am HAPPY with. How hard can it be serously!!!!!

 

You are creating all of this by yourself. She isnt doing anything to you.....you make it worse. You are clearly not ready to see her or talk to her. AT ALL. You will only f*** it up and make yourself look MORE needy and desperate.

 

You know how successful reconciliations happen? When BOTH parties move on from each other, live their lives, enough time passes (A LOT of time usually) and they come back two completely different people. NOTHING has changed. NOTHING is better. Say you were to get "back together." I promise you it wont last longer than a bowel movement.

 

Let it go. Finally listen to us. Many of us (especially ones who have been here longer) KNOW WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!!!

[Tabitha87]

As much as you may love and as much as she may love yiu, it's seriously a bad idea to continue talking with her and especially hanging out and drinking.

 

You need to make changes to yourself, for yourself, because I'm nearly positive nothing will have changed and before long you'll be finding yourself back on here at wits end.

 

Again, you CAN'T rely on HER or anyone else to be the sole source of your happiness! YOU need to be the one and only person in control of that!

 

I had two serious relationships prior to this lat one. Both of those relationships I relied solely my ex's to make and keep me happy. They were my world. Nothing else existed except them. I stopped hanging out with friends and going out because I wanted/needed to be with them ALL the time. Both times when the relationships ended, I felt as though so was my life (I even tried to take my life the second time). Why? Because I felt SO alone! I had no friends to talk to (I thought) & I had recently moved out of the city to a small town out of the city where I knew nobody. My family never came home. I was literally left there for days before anyone noticed they hadn't heard from me. My friend found me overdosed on the floor and got me to the hospital.

 

Trust me. That's a really bad place to be! You don't want to be there, but you'll eventually find yourself there if you don't start caring more about yourself than her, or anyone else. No one else can do it for you. It's all on you!

 

When I said do some soul searching, that's what I mean. Go out, get in touch with some friends, go for a jog, a long car ride, go for a swim. Try doing whatever you can think pf that once brought you joy and that could possibly do it now & be sure not to go to places that will remind you of her (if you can).

 

If 3 things is too much to a day writing about yourself, write a less per day or per week, but you seriously need to find what it is YOU like about yourself (or don't) & work on a plan to make those things better.

 

I promise if you guys get back together too soon, it won't be long before you're back here talking about how it failed and you guys broke up again.

 

I'm not saying you can never be with again. What I'm saying is that you need to find your own happiness before you get back together. You'll go in the relationship feeling much more confident about yourself, happy in general & if you're truly happy with yourself, you'll likely have much more love to give since you'll have more love for yourself. You'll treat her like "crap" less, if at all, since YOU won't feel crappy about yourself anymore (which is why I say you'll probably make it after you've made adjustments to yourself, for yourself).

 

You may even find yourself to be so happy that when you finally do reflect on the past with her, you may realize that she's not what you cracked her up to be and you'll finally see you're NOT the only person to blame.

 

There's always 2 people in a relationship. There's never one sole person to blame. She's certainly made mistakes too amd you're either too love blind to see them or you know what they are and feel you can't tell her what she's also done wrong to cause the relationship to fail because you feel like your mistakes are bigger than hers etc.

 

I get it. I've been there. I never wanted to point out people's mistakes because I felt they'd start telling me mine & I didn't want to hear mine. I was very defense when it came to those sort of things because I have a hard time dealing with emotions and that's what I've had to work on the most (must be the cancer/crab in me lol).

 

Either way. My point is that we ALL have strengths, and we ALL have weaknesses. You need to find yours and truly work on them, for you and only you! You won't ever be truly happy until find what those are and what you can do to be the sole person in control of your happiness. You CAN be happy without her! You're simply making excuses as it's obviously easier to go back to your comfort zone (her being your comfort zone) than it is to go out and start doing things you've never done before (or at least not for a long time).

 

I mean, what gave you happiness BEFORE her?! Surely something had to because I find it hard to believe she would've dated you for 4 years if you treated her crapily from the beginning to the end. & you obviously made it through life prior to her so something brought you joy. Think about your life before her and how you got by your day to day. There's gotta be SOMETHING, besides her, that made you happy!

[Atmosphere77]

Dude, just make sure you take care of yourself when reality sets in

[PegNosePete]

We've given you plenty of ideas man. But you ignore them and carry on being her doormat.

 

Maybe you'll get it eventually. I'm not holding my breath.

[whatdoido123]

The only one making this complicated is you. She's just playing with you and you don't have the self-esteem or common sense to realize it. You need to stop talking to her and you need to stop contributing to the drama. At this point everything bad that happens to you is self-inflicted because you don't have the good sense to walk away.

 

Man this is painful to read!!! Ugh!! Like I said before....enough is enough. Think about it. Do you really want to live a drama and BS filled life?!?!?

 

 

Yeah i know what u guys are implying. I am trying to not be the guy who creates so much drama. If she wants to get in touch with me then thats fine, but i am done reaching out to her