Author whatdoido123 Posted November 26, 2014 Author Share Posted November 26, 2014 Horrible experience yesterday So me and my ex gf were suppose to grab dinner together at 7:30 yesterday but she flacked on me and said "sorry I feel bad now" Now I feel like **** even though she came over last night to spend the night with me. It's weird and I get this ****ty feeling that I just want to puke And of course her bf is invited to her family thanksgiving and I will be celebrating it by myself. It sucks and she offered to get me to come in the morning since he's coming over at night and I said no thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 And of course her bf is invited to her family thanksgiving and I will be celebrating it by myself. It sucks and she offered to get me to come in the morning since he's coming over at night and I said no thanks Enough said. Link to post Share on other sites
Mondmellonw Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 I haven't read all of the comments in here, but... Here's my opinion to the OP: People who love you and have nothing to hide will stay with you and try to make things work. Don't believe anything she says. Just stay away and find an honest girl. We still exist, and we're somewhere out there, you know. lol 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 Horrible experience yesterday So me and my ex gf were suppose to grab dinner together at 7:30 yesterday but she flacked on me and said "sorry I feel bad now" Now I feel like **** even though she came over last night to spend the night with me. It's weird and I get this ****ty feeling that I just want to puke And of course her bf is invited to her family thanksgiving and I will be celebrating it by myself. It sucks and she offered to get me to come in the morning since he's coming over at night and I said no thanks Im shocked..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 Now I feel like **** even though she came over last night to spend the night with me. It's weird and I get this ****ty feeling that I just want to puke You feel used. Feel it and use it to your advantage, remember the taste of it. You have used her, now she is using you relentlessly. You know what the difference is? You feel regret, does she? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author whatdoido123 Posted November 26, 2014 Author Share Posted November 26, 2014 You feel used. Feel it and use it to your advantage, remember the taste of it. You have used her, now she is using you relentlessly. You know what the difference is? You feel regret, does she? She said sorry and she feels bad and she will make it up but idk.... Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 And of course her bf is invited to her family thanksgiving and I will be celebrating it by myself. It sucks and she offered to get me to come in the morning since he's coming over at night and I said no thanks At this point... wow... go over at night for Thanksgiving. You, being boyfriend #2, should confront boyfriend #1. You're either gonna get your @ss kicked or kick his. Then she can pick a winner. Link to post Share on other sites
Mondmellonw Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 At this point... wow... go over at night for Thanksgiving. You, being boyfriend #2, should confront boyfriend #1. You're either gonna get your @ss kicked or kick his. Then she can pick a winner. Wow, I'm fascinated by this. How could she get all she wants? It's just so unfair. Sorry about the sarcasm, but... Really? Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 She said sorry and she feels bad and she will make it up but idk.... The sad truth seems to be that this situation is giving her to much joy, she has multiple people adoring her, I am bonestly surprised that you are not banging your head against the wall constantly and are able to concentrate on your work. She seems like a recipe to eventually get yourself hopitalized in a mental facility: it will drive you insane. What did her mother think about her dating you both? Link to post Share on other sites
Herpderp Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 At this point I'm leaning 90/10 to her getting back together with u. Just 10% more, keep going ts Link to post Share on other sites
Author whatdoido123 Posted November 27, 2014 Author Share Posted November 27, 2014 The sad truth seems to be that this situation is giving her to much joy, she has multiple people adoring her, I am bonestly surprised that you are not banging your head against the wall constantly and are able to concentrate on your work. She seems like a recipe to eventually get yourself hopitalized in a mental facility: it will drive you insane. What did her mother think about her dating you both? From what i was told, my ex gf mom yelled the **** out of her how its not right and blah blah blah. Her mom also said that she needs to decide who to be with and be committed or KARMA will hit (lol). Her mom also mentioned that even though (i stole money from her daughter - i am supposely better than the guy she is with - and that if my ex gf likes me - then go for it) but ya its tough. Well now i am bored at home and trying to figure out what to do tmrow. Maybe i might get a suprise and she comes over, but i highly doubt it Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 You feel used. Feel it and use it to your advantage, remember the taste of it. You have used her, now she is using you relentlessly. You know what the difference is? You feel regret, does she? She said sorry and she feels bad and she will make it up but idk.... Wow, you may actually be questioning whether you can trust "what she says"? That would be some kind of progress. It will most likely come around eventually, probably through more pain. Actually, I can see you reacting in one of two ways to this: (1) I am learning that I can't trust what she says, and things aren't getting any better; or (2) at some point in the future she will throw you another tiny breadcrumb. Because you are so anguished, you will accept ANY little gesture as a big deal, and you will once again flip back to being convinced that she wants to get back together again, even though you are no further along than before. Here's my latest question: do you find it surprising that she flaked on you, or do you kind of see that this is part of her mode of operation? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 From what i was told, my ex gf mom yelled the **** out of her how its not right and blah blah blah. Her mom also said that she needs to decide who to be with and be committed or KARMA will hit (lol). Her mom also mentioned that even though (i stole money from her daughter - i am supposely better than the guy she is with - and that if my ex gf likes me - then go for it) but ya its tough. Well now i am bored at home and trying to figure out what to do tmrow. Maybe i might get a suprise and she comes over, but i highly doubt it So freely translated, her mother disapproves of her immature behaviour. But your ex stll continues to do what she is doing, even though she complains a lot about that other guy. Logic apparently has little to do with it. And if it was about the money she would not keep contact with you. So what is it that keeps her with him and not with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author whatdoido123 Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 Wow, you may actually be questioning whether you can trust "what she says"? That would be some kind of progress. It will most likely come around eventually, probably through more pain. Actually, I can see you reacting in one of two ways to this: (1) I am learning that I can't trust what she says, and things aren't getting any better; or (2) at some point in the future she will throw you another tiny breadcrumb. Because you are so anguished, you will accept ANY little gesture as a big deal, and you will once again flip back to being convinced that she wants to get back together again, even though you are no further along than before. Here's my latest question: do you find it surprising that she flaked on you, or do you kind of see that this is part of her mode of operation? Yes, i find it suprising that she flaked on me because i NEVER in the world thought she would after she promised me that we will go out for dinner around 7ish. I waited for her after work and i was hungry, but i resisted the temptation to since i was having dinner with my ex gf. So freely translated, her mother disapproves of her immature behaviour. But your ex stll continues to do what she is doing, even though she complains a lot about that other guy. Logic apparently has little to do with it. And if it was about the money she would not keep contact with you. So what is it that keeps her with him and not with you? She keeps saying thru text and in person "She misses me" or "she loves me", and to give her some time to break up off with her current bf. Tonight the ex bf is going over to have thanksgiving dinner with her family while i am at home sad and depressed. It really sucks to say the least, but i can promise myself one thing. THat is she better do it quick before i let go completely and move on. I have the urge to , but my heart still says NO. That is what is killing me on the inside... Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 to give her some time to break up off with her current bf. Tonight the ex bf is going over to have thanksgiving dinner with her family Right, this is her definition of breaking things off? In those 2 sentences you have written diametrically opposed statements. Link to post Share on other sites
Herpderp Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Yes, i find it suprising that she flaked on me because i NEVER in the world thought she would after she promised me that we will go out for dinner around 7ish. I waited for her after work and i was hungry, but i resisted the temptation to since i was having dinner with my ex gf. She keeps saying thru text and in person "She misses me" or "she loves me", and to give her some time to break up off with her current bf. Tonight the ex bf is going over to have thanksgiving dinner with her family while i am at home sad and depressed. It really sucks to say the least, but i can promise myself one thing. THat is she better do it quick before i let go completely and move on. I have the urge to , but my heart still says NO. That is what is killing me on the inside... Nah, you aren't gonna give up. You're too blinded by emotions to see the logical side of things. Keep doing what you're doing, you will a better chance of winning her back this way Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 but i can promise myself one thing. THat is she better do it quick before i let go completely and move on. I have the urge to , but my heart still says NO. I have wrestled with that feeling too. It is hard as you do not want to move on and try to deny the fighting your head and heart do, or even try to deny that you are thinking it. Unfortunately sometimes there comes a point that we realize we are fighting windmills (Don Quixote). Link to post Share on other sites
Author whatdoido123 Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 Nah, you aren't gonna give up. You're too blinded by emotions to see the logical side of things. Keep doing what you're doing, you will a better chance of winning her back this way I have wrestled with that feeling too. It is hard as you do not want to move on and try to deny the fighting your head and heart do, or even try to deny that you are thinking it. Unfortunately sometimes there comes a point that we realize we are fighting windmills (Don Quixote). Yeah i have realized that now actually. Yesterday i celebrated Thanksgiving ALL BY MYSELF. It is sad, and i thought about it all yesterday. There is no way that we can take it SLOWLY while she has a BF on the side already. Relationships don't work out that way. I would be OKAY taking it slow if she was single, but if she already has a BF already then i can't be with her. I texted her that we shouldn't be hanging out until she is finally single. And if she is single one day and i am still single and we still have feeling for each other then we might be able to work something out. I have decided that yeah its going to suck, but i can't be used as a tampon and contact me when she needs to talk to me etc. She hasn't texted back yet, but when she does i am going to stick to my story. Either she breaks it off with him, or there isn't going to be a US in this relationship. I don't think i am being mean, it just hurts knowing that some days she is sleeping with her current BF and somedays she is sleeping with me. It HURTS! IT REALLY DOES Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Well done for finally finding your balls She hasn't texted back yet, but when she does i am going to stick to my story. No, don't do undo your good work by doing that. You've already stated your terms and you're in a strong position. Now it's time to put your money where your mouth is. If she replies, DO NOT RESPOND to her, unless she says "I am single, I have finished with the other guy, I want you back!!!" - anything less than that is simply perpetuating the same old rubbish you've been doing for 23 pages now. There is absolutely no need for further explanation on your part. You've told her you don't want anything to do with her unless she's single. So unless she's single, DON'T RESPOND to her. Do not text, do not email, if she calls then hang up. NO CONTACT! Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Yeah i have realized that now actually. Yesterday i celebrated Thanksgiving ALL BY MYSELF. It is sad, and i thought about it all yesterday. There is no way that we can take it SLOWLY while she has a BF on the side already. Relationships don't work out that way. I would be OKAY taking it slow if she was single, but if she already has a BF already then i can't be with her. I texted her that we shouldn't be hanging out until she is finally single. And if she is single one day and i am still single and we still have feeling for each other then we might be able to work something out. I have decided that yeah its going to suck, but i can't be used as a tampon and contact me when she needs to talk to me etc. She hasn't texted back yet, but when she does i am going to stick to my story. Either she breaks it off with him, or there isn't going to be a US in this relationship. I don't think i am being mean, it just hurts knowing that some days she is sleeping with her current BF and somedays she is sleeping with me. That is the direction to go! It HURTS! IT REALLY DOES Yes man, it does. Link to post Share on other sites
Author whatdoido123 Posted November 29, 2014 Author Share Posted November 29, 2014 Yeah that didn't work. She came over and we grabbed lunch then we had sex back at my place. I feel very bad now... Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 Waiter, check please. I'm out. OP, best of luck to you. You will never, ever, move forward from the way you feel at this very moment until you start taking some of the advice given to you in the previous 20 or so pages... Until you make a concrete decision to start putting yourself first, your ex never will. I wish you well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 (edited) So she was in your arms and you still feel bad. What to do? I will once again quote myself. You did go back because you do not want to see the truth. Taking the decision is really easy, there is no magical force keeping your head in captive forcing you to snort a line of Ex. After your mental decision you will be faced with the hard part, keeping the promise you made to yourself and going through detox. Edited November 29, 2014 by Itspointless Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Yeah that didn't work. She came over and we grabbed lunch then we had sex back at my place. I feel very bad now... As Chi would say, we're chasing bunnies. This made It clear for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author whatdoido123 Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 Let me be more specific actually: So i texted her yesterday saying we should not talk until she is "single" and i asked for an opinion on that matter. Her reply was "we are taking it slowly". So she texted me this morning and asked what i was doing. Of course i wasn't doing anything so i asked if she wanted to hangout around noon today and grab lunch. So she stopped at my apartment and i drove and we ate at a restaurant. After lunch she wanted to stop by for desert at Basket Robin. So we stopped by there and we shared a couple of scoops of ice cream. After Basket Robin we still had about 2 hours to hangout before she had to work at her parents restaurant. So she asked if she can stay till its time to work and of course i said "yeah and we can talk and stuff". We got back to the apartment and the first thing she did was jump on my bed. And obviously i went on the bed too so we can talk. I guess we flirted a bit and she asked about my 3 month without her and vice versa and it got intimate REALLY fast. I really couldn't resist and we both kinda wanted sex and so we got it on pretty much. She insisted to use protection and i agreed, but after sex i kinda felt pretty horrible. I don't know, i mean she is really attractive and everything and i can tell she wouldn't have had sex with me if she didn't want me back. And she keeps saying that her current bf and her NEVER had sex yet. I don't know if i believe that or not since they have been dating since the beginning of September. Usually after a couple of weeks in any relationship it usually happens at least thats what i have realized from my past unless its different in this one... Link to post Share on other sites
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