What is she implying????

[whatdoido123]

Dude, just make sure you take care of yourself when reality sets in

 

I texted her all day at work today and she just denys every claim that i made. I told her that its not cool and that she doesn't realize what she is doing by being with her current bf. I can tell that she isn't happy in the relationship, but she forces herself to be with him and sleep with him. Like REALLY?

 

 

And like i asked her when we first started dating if she was willing to not be on her phone all the time because that is exactly what she is doing. She tells me that shes the one who is cutting down on being on her phone because her boyfriend doesn't like it. I mean she is giving up all this freedom, but she insist its her own decision.

 

 

I wonder.... And she said that we should talk tonight and hang out tmrow all day and sunday. But like i don't even have the motivation to because of all this drama...

Edited November 22, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Deleted off topic reference

[Herpderp]

You are correct Diezel. I texted her all day at work today and she just denys every claim that i made. I told her that its not cool and that she doesn't realize what she is doing by being with her current bf. I can tell that she isn't happy in the relationship, but she forces herself to be with him and sleep with him. Like REALLY?

 

 

And like i asked her when we first started dating if she was willing to not be on her phone all the time because that is exactly what she is doing. She tells me that shes the one who is cutting down on being on her phone because her boyfriend doesn't like it. I mean she is giving up all this freedom, but she insist its her own decision.

 

 

I wonder.... And she said that we should talk tonight and hang out tmrow all day and sunday. But like i don't even have the motivation to because of all this drama...

 

 

Yea my moneys on you going and her breaking ur heart again

[Itspointless]

I'm seriously beginning to think this thread is a never-ending troll. No one can be this daft.

Dude, love has not got to do anything with rationality. That is why threads like these are painful to read. Especially when you have experienced deciete or sudden changes by people who were important to you. It is hard to get the almost unthinkable thinkable, it only happens when we start realizing that we become really destructive to ourselves in trying to keep the bond.

 

It is even harder when people do not have a secure base from their youth, than people are allmost bound to repeat patterns. When things fall apart than they likely feel the pain from many previous events at the same time, all symbolized within the face of their current ex.

 

Be introspective whatdoido123, investigate why you are so anxious.

[whatdoido123]

Dude, love has not got to do anything with rationality. That is why threads like these are painful to read. Especially when you have experienced deciete or sudden changes by people who were important to you. It is hard to get the almost unthinkable thinkable, it only happens when we start realizing that we become really destructive to ourselves in trying to keep the bond.

 

It is even harder when people do not have a secure base from their youth, than people are allmost bound to repeat patterns. When things fall apart than they likely feel the pain from many previous events at the same time, all symbolized within the face of their current ex.

 

Be introspective whatdoido123, investigate why you are so anxious.

 

 

i am anxious because i want to get her back, but i know that ain't going to happen any time soon. Last night we actually talked on the phone for 2 hours and we talked about weird stuff. One of the things we talked about is my past and having 3 somes. I don't know why she was talking about weird stuff and it blew my mind. She insist that when we were dating she was okay if i hooked up with another girl as long as she was present. I guess i was shocked to hear that and she said that we should have hit the strip club and just do things i never imagined she would have wanted.

 

All in all she is going to come down to my apartment today and we will hang out. The only thing is i keep insisting that she comes sleep at my place, but she keeps saying its a bad idea and she doesn't know. I mean how bad can it get because i have no intention to have sex with her.

[Itspointless]

I mean how bad can it get because i have no intention to have sex with her.

This is what I meant with my first comment. You will be hurt in the end, because you give her the chance to make it worse every time you speak or see her. Sometimes unfortunately we have to break ourselves down to the gutter to understand why we have to move ourselves away from people.

 

Seriously, you need to study your anxiety much deeper than this

[whatdoido123]

This is what I meant with my first comment. You will be hurt in the end, because you give her the chance to make it worse every time you speak or see her. Sometimes unfortunately we have to break ourselves down to the gutter to understand why we have to move ourselves away from people.

 

Seriously, you need to study your anxiety much deeper than this

 

 

What do you mean exactly? Like lets says we did get back together, would couples therapy help at all?

[Simon Phoenix]

Dear lord dude.

[Diezel]

All in all she is going to come down to my apartment today and we will hang out. The only thing is i keep insisting that she comes sleep at my place, but she keeps saying its a bad idea and she doesn't know. I mean how bad can it get because i have no intention to have sex with her.

 

#facepalm

#sigh

#seriously?

#popcorn

[DenverDude]

I don't want this to sound negative at all, but I am really hurting...like really really hurting... but reading this entire thread made me realize that there are others out there that are handling heart break much worse than me.

 

OP - For the love of God just give up.

 

At this point, the only ****i_g chance you have at getting her back is to use no contact the INCORRECT way by using it as a tool to get her back. Everyone suggests that NC is not meant for that purpose, but I am beginning to think that is your only hope.

 

My advice to you, 99% of the other posters have mentioned, is to walk away with whatever self respect you have for yourself left. Keep your head up, DO NOT CONTACT HER, and watch her come chasing back to you. When she chases back to you after you haven't: texted, called, visited, smiled to her at work, etc etc CONTINUE to give her the cold shoulder.

 

This will result in two things.

 

1.) Her begging for you to take her back

2.) Her moving on from you - which results in all of these mind games going away.

 

 

THIS IS YOUR ONLY HOPE BRO. STOP ALL FORMS OF CONTACT.

[Herpderp]

i am anxious because i want to get her back, but i know that ain't going to happen any time soon. Last night we actually talked on the phone for 2 hours and we talked about weird stuff. One of the things we talked about is my past and having 3 somes. I don't know why she was talking about weird stuff and it blew my mind. She insist that when we were dating she was okay if i hooked up with another girl as long as she was present. I guess i was shocked to hear that and she said that we should have hit the strip club and just do things i never imagined she would have wanted.

 

All in all she is going to come down to my apartment today and we will hang out. The only thing is i keep insisting that she comes sleep at my place, but she keeps saying its a bad idea and she doesn't know. I mean how bad can it get because i have no intention to have sex with her.

 

i suggest we all leave the thread till ts wakes up his bloody idea

[Tabitha87]

Ultimately, you're going to do what you want and/or think is right. Perhaps you think that there is some way you guys are going to get back together (sooner than later), & while that may cone true for you, I think it will be short lived at this point.

 

You seriously need to get your life order before you can really make any significant changes. Worry about taking care of yourself before trying to get back with her. Some people like playing "Mommy", but I doubt she's one of them. She wouldn't have insisted on you getting a new place and even footing the bill for it if she was willing to work through this and help you.

 

It's not that she doesn't care. She clearly does to some extent if she ensured that you weren't homeless. She's just likely tired of feeling like you're not doing anything for yourself and felt that she needed to give you that "shove" to help you on your way.

 

You should seriously just worry about finding a new job and taking on different activities (to help you grow as a person, meet new people, find some ways to get some happiness back in your life).

 

No one can take your hand and walk you through it. They can only guide you to where they think is best. It's up to want to go through with the changes and accept things for what they are and/or could turn out to be.

 

Good luck! You'll figure it out eventually.

[whatdoido123]

Ultimately, you're going to do what you want and/or think is right. Perhaps you think that there is some way you guys are going to get back together (sooner than later), & while that may cone true for you, I think it will be short lived at this point.

 

You seriously need to get your life order before you can really make any significant changes. Worry about taking care of yourself before trying to get back with her. Some people like playing "Mommy", but I doubt she's one of them. She wouldn't have insisted on you getting a new place and even footing the bill for it if she was willing to work through this and help you.

 

It's not that she doesn't care. She clearly does to some extent if she ensured that you weren't homeless. She's just likely tired of feeling like you're not doing anything for yourself and felt that she needed to give you that "shove" to help you on your way.

 

You should seriously just worry about finding a new job and taking on different activities (to help you grow as a person, meet new people, find some ways to get some happiness back in your life).

 

No one can take your hand and walk you through it. They can only guide you to where they think is best. It's up to want to go through with the changes and accept things for what they are and/or could turn out to be.

 

Good luck! You'll figure it out eventually.

 

 

Ya i kinda figured that out already. My life sucks right now, but it is what it is and i guess i will learn from this the hard way.

 

 

So yesterday we were suppose to hang out in the morning, but she ditched me because she had something come up. But anyways later in the day we finally met up. Its weird though because she NEVER wants to meet at my apartment. She keeps saying it is a bad idea and i guess we argued over it over the phone because i finally gave up and said OKAY WHERE DO U WANT TO MEET THEN? so we met up at a grocery story and hung out outside and talked for like 2 hours? I just don't get it, one day she wants to spend the night and the next day she doesn't even want to stop by my apartment?

 

 

And today i am meeting her up to grab lunch. I guess i am just being used and it sucks but she keeps insisting that "IF IT HAPPENS THEN IT HAPPENS". so i really don't know what to believe and such. I just wish life was easier and it wasn't as complicated.

[DenverDude]

Maybe she keeps ditching your plans because she is too busy juggling other plans she has made with her other boyfriends?!?

 

Just a crazy thought.

[Itspointless]

And today i am meeting her up to grab lunch. I guess i am just being used and it sucks but she keeps insisting that "IF IT HAPPENS THEN IT HAPPENS". so i really don't know what to believe and such. I just wish life was easier and it wasn't as complicated.

You serve as an gigantic ego-boost to her, she is thinking that she must be fantastic if three guys want her, even the one she currently is denying rights.

 

That talk about threesomes was just a way for her to justify her own behaviour.

 

As for your question to me, study your past why you want to please her so badly. The way she played you when you were messaging with that colleague and how reactive you are to her are indicative. Seriously man, you got some serious work to do. She has trained you and you bow for her commands every time. That is no relation or friendship, that is a master-slave dynamic. Save yourself.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Ya i kinda figured that out already. My life sucks right now, but it is what it is and i guess i will learn from this the hard way.

 

 

So yesterday we were suppose to hang out in the morning, but she ditched me because she had something come up. But anyways later in the day we finally met up. Its weird though because she NEVER wants to meet at my apartment. She keeps saying it is a bad idea and i guess we argued over it over the phone because i finally gave up and said OKAY WHERE DO U WANT TO MEET THEN? so we met up at a grocery story and hung out outside and talked for like 2 hours? I just don't get it, one day she wants to spend the night and the next day she doesn't even want to stop by my apartment?

 

 

And today i am meeting her up to grab lunch. I guess i am just being used and it sucks but she keeps insisting that "IF IT HAPPENS THEN IT HAPPENS". so i really don't know what to believe and such. I just wish life was easier and it wasn't as complicated.

 

Just to let you know, if there was ever any chance of you two getting back together, you've already blown it. There is absolutely no way you guys will get back together. Your constant talking, and being over the top has made her lose respect for you. If you would have listened, then maybe you'd be back together. We will never know since you have ruined it.

 

Just wanted to pass that along...though you wont listen to that and you will keep making things worse.

[whatdoido123]

Maybe she keeps ditching your plans because she is too busy juggling other plans she has made with her other boyfriends?!?

 

Just a crazy thought.

 

 

Pretty much, just lame excuses where something comes up out of the ordinary. But at the end of the day we still met up

[whatdoido123]

You serve as an gigantic ego-boost to her, she is thinking that she must be fantastic if three guys want her, even the one she currently is denying rights.

 

That talk about threesomes was just a way for her to justify her own behaviour.

 

As for your question to me, study your past why you want to please her so badly. The way she played you when you were messaging with that colleague and how reactive you are to her are indicative. Seriously man, you got some serious work to do. She has trained you and you bow for her commands every time. That is no relation or friendship, that is a master-slave dynamic. Save yourself.

 

 

I guess i really want to please her because i want her back in my life. I mean today we went and ate lunch at this seafood place and she insist that her current BF never takes her to places she wants to go. All they do is eat fast food most of the time and stay home and she keeps insisting that they have 3-4 issue that make their relationship not serious at all. i don't know if she is just bsing or not but thats what she told me.

 

I mean after lunch today we hung out by the pool and talked. She was pretty flirty where she was touching me and grabbing me to the point where i was suprised. I mean i liked it, but it got pretty crazy in public and i felt like she wanted to make out with me, but it was that awkard feeling in public. We stayed by the pool for like 2 hours just hanging out.

 

Then when she was about to get out of my car, she gave me the biggest hug and leaned toward me and i don't know what to think. And tomrowow it starts all over again where i don't get to hang out with her until Saturday or Sunday and it sucks being what stage i am at with her. I mean it feels like she wants me back, but at the same time she doesn't know and its hurting me more and more.

 

 

Just to let you know, if there was ever any chance of you two getting back together, you've already blown it. There is absolutely no way you guys will get back together. Your constant talking, and being over the top has made her lose respect for you. If you would have listened, then maybe you'd be back together. We will never know since you have ruined it.

 

Just wanted to pass that along...though you wont listen to that and you will keep making things worse.

 

 

I mean i tried to make her jealous saying that i went on a date with this girl and i am not sure if i am ready to be offical with her. She got pretty jealous to a point where she told me that i wasn't ready and that i should be careful who i date. But at the same time she goes and ****s another guy i suppose since they have been together for over 2 month. Its shocking and as much as i want to see her break up with him i don't see it coming anytime soon.

[mtnbiker3000]

Oh boy... She's playing you like a fiddle and you're asking for more. Grow a pair and end this before she drives you mad.... You give he no incentive to do anything different. Why should she? You're giving her everything she wants from you. What are you getting?? Damn, this girl must be made of gold!!

[Simon Phoenix]

Ya i kinda figured that out already. My life sucks right now, but it is what it is and i guess i will learn from this the hard way.

 

 

So yesterday we were suppose to hang out in the morning, but she ditched me because she had something come up. But anyways later in the day we finally met up. Its weird though because she NEVER wants to meet at my apartment. She keeps saying it is a bad idea and i guess we argued over it over the phone because i finally gave up and said OKAY WHERE DO U WANT TO MEET THEN? so we met up at a grocery story and hung out outside and talked for like 2 hours? I just don't get it, one day she wants to spend the night and the next day she doesn't even want to stop by my apartment?

 

 

And today i am meeting her up to grab lunch. I guess i am just being used and it sucks but she keeps insisting that "IF IT HAPPENS THEN IT HAPPENS". so i really don't know what to believe and such. I just wish life was easier and it wasn't as complicated.

 

It's only complicated because you are such a weak person that you put up with all of this. Don't you get sick of being a fool?

[Dopefish333]

Dude you need to cut this chit out now..listen. I was with my ex for 5 years dude, we left each other in mid July, it was mutual for the most part as we BOTH knew what our problems were and we needed to step back before it got too bad. WE BROKE UP. About 3 weeks in I was going through some serious S*** man, I have never felt so low in my entire life and i was tempted to beg for her back but I DIDNT. Every time I picked the phone up I would throw it on my bed and grab my hair and wanted to rip it out. I held my ground, my pride and my dignity. She never once saw my break down or upset, I had to HIDE IT. After the first month of our breakup we didn't talk for 1 entire month, and BARELY the second month. I wanted back into the relationship so bad I would cry every single day but she had NO idea. She thought I was doing great! I was sick too my stomach dude, BUT I DIDNT SCREW IT UP. She ended up BACK in my arms 5 days ago when she showed up at my work and wanted to reconcile, telling me she's not interested in anyone els and only wants me, we are starting off SLOW (that's important) but we are better than we have ever been. We both know where we went wrong and we fixed it. We both want only each other. I listened to the threads to only take her back if she LITTERALY says she wants to make it work, and she did.

 

 

The main reason I got her back is because she still had high feelings for me..there's no denying that helped a ton, but she still retained those feelings for me because I was distant and mysterious. I gave her a chit ton of space, worked on myself and she noticed and ate it all up. If I had done the **** you are doing we would be NO where now. She would have no respect for me at all. You NEED to let her go as I did, you will be sick, have headaches and not be able to sleep at all, you have to go through this pain period, you will come out stronger. I had to wait a while before I was myself to talk to her again, I had to ignore her for a long time even though she wanted to hang out, you need to resist the urge, this is your only shot. I want this to motivate you too shut her out of your life now like I did with her. At this point, I'm not sure if you can ever get her back, but this is your ONLY shot at this point. You need to charge this head on. You need to feel like a piece of crap, think about it this way, you feel like crap now, why not feel like crap while not talking to her? Think of how powerful you will feel when you don't answer her calls or her texts. This is a true test of strength, take the challenge.

 

 

O and by the way, I didn't believe this before but I believe this now. If you have never read the law of attraction. Read this.

 

 

YESS you can attract your ex back! OLD DNS post - Powerful Intentions: Law of Attraction Community

 

 

I swear, the day I woke up and felt like I was moving on and didn't need her was the day she came too my work. It works like that, I feel like they can sense when they are going to lose you for good.

[Diezel]

I just wish life was easier and it wasn't as complicated.

 

 

I don't think you understand that YOU have the power to UN-complicate your life.

 

Stop whining about how hard life is and DO something about it. She's USING you.

[whatdoido123]

Actually i think i am headed in the right direction. Last night over the phone i guess she felt really bad. She went with her current BF to a place where we went and it brought back memories for her. She says that she misses me and its really not the same with him. And she goes on and on about how life is difficult and wishes to get back with me. That came directly from her mouth last night and this morning she actually wants to start talking thru IM at work because she wants to hear from me.

 

 

From what i can tell so far, i am pretty confident that by the end of this month we will get back together. As far as if we will have any issues going forward is another question. I mean i did alot of things that i wasn't suppose to, but it looks like it might pay off. I don't want to speak ahead of myself because she is still with her current BF but from the sounds of it, it seems like i might be getting back with my ex GF very soon.

 

 

Hopefully if everything falls into places i will get what i wished for and at the very least show her that i am a totally different person and that i will respect her as a GF and treat her right. We also talked about how we are going to take it slowly in the beginning for like 6-8 months and then step on the gas pedal from there since we were together for so long already.

 

 

I guess she wants to get married probably by the end of next year and i think if it works out by then i will do my part of this. And probably have a baby sometime next year as well. I really see a future between us, but i may be stepping over the boundary line to get this far. But nothing is written in stones yet but i can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[PegNosePete]

Beware the light at the end of the tunnel, it's probably a train coming to hit you in the face.

[Itspointless]

Do you remember that I wrote this?

You will get hurt, even if she comes back to you.

Why won't she do it again? And again and again and ...

[Chi townD]

Dude, do you really enjoy getting used like this? You're an emotional tampon. She's using you to get her emotional needs met and getting her physical needs met by her current boyfriend. That's why she refuses to meet at your apartment. Too much of an opportunity for things to turn physical. But, she has no problem talking to you for 2 hours outside a supermarket. Once she got her emotional needs met by you and had you tell her everything she wanted to hear, she went to her boyfriends place and spent the night with him.

 

 

Now, how is that fair to you?