Ladies - muscular guys, yay or nay? [Updated]

[mr_dave]

If you do decide to look like the guy in the photo - please choose better clothing. If you workout even a bit, most people can tell, no need to state the obvious. Some things are better understated.

 

I would never dream of wearing something like that!

However there isn't a lot of clothing I can wear that is cut correctly for my body type. Formal shirts for example, either the arms are too small, or if not, it hangs like a curtain from my chest. I mainly wear polo shirts if I'm out and about.

 

I don't have a type, I like any body type (except morbidly obese).

 

But I will say that I would never actively be interested in or pursue a particularly muscular or athletic man, simply because I'd assume I would not have a chance.

 

Aww Phoe. You really are gorgeous!

 

Where are you meeting these chicks? Are you into muscular chicks too? Maybe changing up where you meet women might help? Have you tried crossfit/workout groups to meet women that may be more open to a muscular guy?

 

Well those ladies approached me in an extremely rare visit to a nightclub - the last time I went to one. (It was May I think)

I'm really not into muscular women, in fact I'd strongly prefer a lady who was more on the voluptuous side!

The crossfit/workout groups suggestion isn't a bad idea, although such offerings are rather limited where I am, I'll look into it. Thanks for the suggestion.

 

Again, I was attracted to his body type, however, his NEED to be at the gym was getting old quick. If we were going on vacation, I had to pick a hotel that had a great gym...he planned our days and outings around HIS gym schedule. Could only plan things as long as he went to the gym. After having kids we talked and he would go to the gym while they were either sleeping or we ( the kids and I) were out. This never happened, he would always chose the gym over us. 3 years post divorce, I would never date a gym rat again for the reasons listed above. I'm all about being healthy, but over doing it, doesn't do it for me. Btw-he was a very narcissistic person, cared more about his appearance then anything!

 

Thanks for sharing your experience! I can see why people would assume that I must live my life in the gym, but I don't spend that much time there at all.

At the very most I go three times a week, for an hour and a half at a time.

As you mentioned regarding a schedule, well if I can work overtime, or if I had a girlfriend to see, I would go to the gym the next day, or do something at home, I wouldn't prioritise it over other things in my life. My diet is healthy I guess, but I love to binge on pizza, biscuits, ice cream, cake etc. as well!

 

I've never really tried to get bulky, or too muscular. Here's what I look like at the moment to give you a better idea...

 

http://dc652.4shared.com/download/tmebv_TOba/untitled2.jpg?lgfp=3000

 

I'm 5'10 and 80Kg or 176lbs, and don't want to be any bigger otherwise I'll lose acceleration and balance when I play soccer. I originally started because I had a birth defect, a slightly protruding bone in my chest that I wanted to cover up. I've been going for eight years now, and am happy to just be maintaining my shape rather than modifying it.

 

It just saddens me somewhat that lovely ladies I'd be really interested in might go through the same process as Phoe, and think they're unworthy, or at the other end of the spectrum, write me off as being the stereotypically unintelligent, narcissistic gym rat.

 

I struggle to even get a smile from girls if I'm on the train, in a cafe, or out and about and our eyes meet. Sigh.. that's probably a story for another thread I guess...

 

Thanks for all you input so far!

[Gloria25]

OH? That's what you look like?

 

OMG, if chicks are feeling intimidated over that then really, really something is wrong...

 

But like I've posted in a similar thread (of yours I think), seems like a lot of people aren't into fitness and when they see someone in shape it throws them off.

 

I mean, I hate dressing sexy around my gfs...I'm not trying to be shallow, but one time I went to visit some gfs I haven't seen in a while and I kid you not, after and during the visit they started chatting about how they need to go back to the gym and how great I looked.

 

Another time was at a Halloween party and I wore the Flapper dress/costume - and I got dirty stares from the women and my gf, a few days after the party was "excited" to tell me that she's gonna start some crazy diet.

[thefooloftheyear]

It just is. Its a preference. Why do some women prefer tall men, and others are perfectly happy with short men?

 

Nobody is settling. If a woman chooses a skinny guy or a fat guy over you, how on earth do you know she has settled? Maybe she prefers a bit of belly fat over muscle? Sometimes its hard to explain why you find a certain type attractive and another not.

 

And the last paragraph? Lol! SO not true. I didn't reject those muscular men because I'm worried about the attention a muscular man will get. :rolleyes: I am just not attracted to that body type. Just because I chose a man with belly fat over all those muscular guys who were hitting on me, does not at all mean I'm "settling". In fact, I feel I would have settled with those muscular guys, actually.

 

I have issues with your posts, including the previous ones, because I get the feeling you are trying to elevate your type over others. Some women are just not into muscular men. Like I said, there is a type for everyone. Big muscles just happens to be a turnoff for them, same as for some women, dating a guy who is short is a turnoff. You don't have to try understanding these preferences. Just pick a woman who likes your type.

 

 

 

Haha! :laugh:

 

When a woman says she is more into a guy with belly fat than one with a hardbody, all else equal, then I am just going to chalk it up as someone pissing on my leg and telling me its raining...Sorry....makes no sense-unless there is something else going down..

 

See bolded part of your post..

 

I already said I am no better than anyone else....what more do you need to read?

 

I cant wait to see a post about how disappointed all guys are about their womans perfect breasts....What a drag!!!

 

TFY

[Toodaloo]

If you do decide to look like the guy in the photo - please choose better clothing.

 

^^^^^

 

Guy in that photo gives me the creeps...

 

Body looks ok but looks like he is sneering and bit of a mirror magnet... Please don't be a mirror magnet...

[acrosstheuniverse]

Just curious, because it doesnt seem to make any sense to me....

 

How would a big and/ or ripped body somehow be considered a negative-if all else was equal(the guy was everything you wanted)...??/

 

That would be like..."she is a great woman, but she has a great pair of natural 36DD's, a flat belly, and a 24inch waist...you know what..gimme the one with the droopy A's and the paunch, because that type of thing(the nice body) is a total turn off"....huh?

 

I cant say that of you, but I still say most women despise competition from other women...So rather than deal with that, they settle on an average guy, because they really cant deal with the potential attention he might get from other women for his physique....I just dont see how its a turn off-unless there was something else negative..

 

TFY

 

Because I don't find it physically attractive. For me, I am more sexually attracted to a 'regular' body (not overweight, not body builder) than I am a super muscular guy. I just don't like it, it doesn't make me want to run my hands or tongue all over it. Therefore it's a turn off. It's not enough to stop me dating someone if their personality was a match but it would be a negative for me.

 

I mean think about it, not every man finds the stereotypical tall, thin, big breasts, flat stomach, long hair lady the most attractive type, do they? Lots of men prefer the 'girl next door', lots of men even have a thing for curvier girls, some men for really obese women. Some men prefer a girl who looks younger, some prefer a mature woman. It's the same for women; some will be into the muscle guy, some into the more usual looking guys, some prefer shorter men, some are into guys of a certain ethnicity, etc.

 

I totally accept it's the 'ideal' as dictated by society and the media in general, but the model-pretty boys have never done anything for me. It's not about competition either, firstly I'm not competitive in that sense and secondly because I don't find that appearance attractive I guess I don't think about the fact that most other women do. My current boyfriend is extremely attractive facially, average body with a bit of bulk on him, really talented as a musician and charismatic, everybody loves him. I have no doubt that many other women see him and want to try it on, hell I clearly did! But it doesn't bother me because our bond is so strong. I get hit on frequently and it doesn't make him want to date someone he finds less attractive instead.

 

I just don't find it sexy, 'manly', whatever. I can't explain it but I'm sure I'm not alone. I just see someone with a six pack and pecs and think it looks totally asexual, like an action man doll lol.

 

The only exception I would make really is if a guy is really lean and just happens to be muscular and wiry, kinda like a slim build but not much body fat. I can find that attractive. I really have a thing for feeling a guy's hip bones, nom nom. But if it looks like he worked for weeks and months at it in the gym, it's less appealing.

Edited October 25, 2014 by acrosstheuniverse

[Toodaloo]

Mr Dave just seen you pic and please no more muscle. Thats just fine don't put more on or change...

 

Thats healthy with out going over the top. It is a little intimidating for women like myself... I am a classic boobs and bum gal, never going to be athletic no matter how I try... not matter how thin or fat I am, I always have a waist and big boobs and big bum! That said if a chap took off his shirt and I saw that I would be thinking "lunch" then "lets turn the lights off"...!

 

Why don't you start talking to the ladies who are your "type" and see where you go with it instead of trying night clubs... I know it sounds daft and every one says it doesn't happen but when you go shopping try and get in the line next to ladies you quite like the look of (oh wow your basket looks way more exciting that mine what are you planning to cook with those carrots), or ask advice on picking vegetables and fruit that is ripe (do you think this would last until the end of the week or do you think I should eat now) etc... chat to them and then ask if you can see them again if they seem ok... (I have really enjoyed chatting to you and I know it seems forward but was wondering if I could see you again sometime). I am always gassing with people, men and women in the local super market... Your far more likely to get somewhere like that than in a night club.

 

Keep it quiet and simple. Keep smiling.

 

Keep it away from anywhere involving alcohol etc. You would only end up being used that way.

[Phoe]

 

I cant wait to see a post about how disappointed all guys are about their womans perfect breasts....What a drag!!!

 

TFY

 

But Men's idea of what's perfect are all very different.

 

Some men want big luscious E Cups, others want pert B cups.

 

I've had men tell me mine are too big, others told me they're too small.

 

So yeah, a guy could definitely be disappointed with D cups.

[CrystalCastles]

When a woman says she is more into a guy with belly fat than one with a hardbody, all else equal, then I am just going to chalk it up as someone pissing on my leg and telling me its raining...Sorry....makes no sense-unless there is something else going down..

 

See bolded part of your post..

 

I already said I am no better than anyone else....what more do you need to read?

 

I cant wait to see a post about how disappointed all guys are about their womans perfect breasts....What a drag!!!

 

TFY

 

It doesn't have to make sense. Its just the way women are, believe it or not. We have a variety of different tastes, not every woman is going to go after that one type.

 

You keep wondering as to why there are women who don't like your body type. By saying that women are "settling" for another body type except yours, is that not elevating yourself? So if a woman chooses you, or someone like you, then she isn't settling, but if she chooses someone who is fat or skinny, that's settling? How do you not see that statement as being arrogant? Who are you to say what women should or shouldn't prefer?

 

And yeah, if I were so inclined to look at a six pack and touch it, I could just as easily go to the bathroom a few feet away from my computer, lift my shirt up and touch my stomach as much as I want. I don't need to be dating a muscular guy to do that. Muscles are really not that fascinating, especially when you've got plenty of your own.

 

Phoe gave a great analogy. I've got big ones and some guys aren't into that! Perfectly cool by me, its their preference. Height is also a similar analogy. I'm 5'11 and some guys aren't into that either. Its just a preference. Not everyone is going to want the same thing. That's why you pursue girls who are into the type you are.

[dichotomy]

I'm a fairly muscular guy who's been single for 18 months now, without so much as a tumbleweed blowing across the barren desert that is my love life.

In spite of my appearance I am very bashful, kind and extremely placid, and was wondering perhaps whether having such a physique might actually be counting against me.

I would like to meet a cute girl with a similar personality to myself, but the only notable female attention I have received in my life has been from a pair of inebriated wenches in a nightclub. I get a lot of compliments (it's one of the first things they remark upon) from male colleagues at work who are surprised that I'm single, but what guys think a woman finds attractive isn't necessarily what a woman would find to be attractive.

 

I have some questions that I would be grateful for your female perspective on..

 

Do you pre-judge guys for being muscular? For example thinking that they are probably narcissistic/ players/ lacking in intelligence/ aggressive?

 

Would it make you feel insecure to go out with such a guy, maybe worrying somewhat about your own figure/diet etc?

 

Is the appearance itself a turn off? At what point does it become too much?

 

Thanks!

 

 

I did not look through all the messages...but did not see you accurately describe yourself? How big and or cut are you?

 

Height

Weight

Waist size

Chest size

Arm size

Edited October 25, 2014 by dichotomy

[Phoe]

I did not look through all the messages...but did not see you accurately describe yourself?

 

Height

Weight

Waist size

Chest size

Arm size

 

There's a photo a few posts up.

[dichotomy]

There's a photo a few posts up.

 

My bad. I see it now.

 

kind of a fitness instructor or cross fit guy. I don't see you having issues, other than being very fit and that being a concern to non-fitness chicks... but heck I am a guy so what do I know?

 

Your not body builder or power lifter muscular which can be extreme. Nor are you like a US football linebacker type ..all which can be intimidating or off putting to some I think.

[Phoe]

OP, after seeing your picture, I can conclude that yes, I would be too intimidated and would not approach or show interest. I would likely just figure you have a lot of options with quality girls and that it would do no good to try. Which is a bad mindset, sure, but that's me being honest.

 

Probably the best thing you can do is focus on being friendly, warm, and inviting

[NJ123]

I would never dream of wearing something like that!

However there isn't a lot of clothing I can wear that is cut correctly for my body type. Formal shirts for example, either the arms are too small, or if not, it hangs like a curtain from my chest. I mainly wear polo shirts if I'm out and about.

 

 

 

Aww Phoe. You really are gorgeous!

 

 

 

Well those ladies approached me in an extremely rare visit to a nightclub - the last time I went to one. (It was May I think)

I'm really not into muscular women, in fact I'd strongly prefer a lady who was more on the voluptuous side!

The crossfit/workout groups suggestion isn't a bad idea, although such offerings are rather limited where I am, I'll look into it. Thanks for the suggestion.

 

 

 

Thanks for sharing your experience! I can see why people would assume that I must live my life in the gym, but I don't spend that much time there at all.

At the very most I go three times a week, for an hour and a half at a time.

As you mentioned regarding a schedule, well if I can work overtime, or if I had a girlfriend to see, I would go to the gym the next day, or do something at home, I wouldn't prioritise it over other things in my life. My diet is healthy I guess, but I love to binge on pizza, biscuits, ice cream, cake etc. as well!

 

I've never really tried to get bulky, or too muscular. Here's what I look like at the moment to give you a better idea...

 

http://dc652.4shared.com/download/tmebv_TOba/untitled2.jpg?lgfp=3000

 

I'm 5'10 and 80Kg or 176lbs, and don't want to be any bigger otherwise I'll lose acceleration and balance when I play soccer. I originally started because I had a birth defect, a slightly protruding bone in my chest that I wanted to cover up. I've been going for eight years now, and am happy to just be maintaining my shape rather than modifying it.

 

It just saddens me somewhat that lovely ladies I'd be really interested in might go through the same process as Phoe, and think they're unworthy, or at the other end of the spectrum, write me off as being the stereotypically unintelligent, narcissistic gym rat.

 

I struggle to even get a smile from girls if I'm on the train, in a cafe, or out and about and our eyes meet. Sigh.. that's probably a story for another thread I guess...

 

Thanks for all you input so far!

 

Your in pretty good shape, but it's not like your in bodybuilding shape or anything like that. My brother is 2 inches taller than you but weighs 35-40 pounds more than you & he looks huge. A lot of women do like bigger built guys, but there's lots of women who prefer just toned muscles but nothing huge. Basically it's all down to personal preference.

[mr_dave]

OP, after seeing your picture, I can conclude that yes, I would be too intimidated and would not approach or show interest. I would likely just figure you have a lot of options with quality girls and that it would do no good to try. Which is a bad mindset, sure, but that's me being honest.

 

Probably the best thing you can do is focus on being friendly, warm, and inviting

 

Aww Phoe you shouldn't think like that.

I should listen to my own advice though, that's how I feel towards attractive women!

[NJ123]

Aww Phoe you shouldn't think like that.

I should listen to my own advice though, that's how I feel towards attractive women!

 

The thing is the really hot women, at least the ones that are 9s & 10s in looks, are going to be really hard to keep. A lot of guys would probably be plagued with insecurities when every guy is checking out their woman. She'd be hit on even in front of you, and you have to let it show it doesn't bother you every time.

[Robert]

*** moderators Note, please read..***

 

Let's swing the postings on this thread back to the topic, the topic is NOT hot women and how to date them.

 

Thanks

[thefooloftheyear]

It doesn't have to make sense. Its just the way women are, believe it or not. We have a variety of different tastes, not every woman is going to go after that one type.

 

You keep wondering as to why there are women who don't like your body type. By saying that women are "settling" for another body type except yours, is that not elevating yourself? So if a woman chooses you, or someone like you, then she isn't settling, but if she chooses someone who is fat or skinny, that's settling? How do you not see that statement as being arrogant? Who are you to say what women should or shouldn't prefer?

 

And yeah, if I were so inclined to look at a six pack and touch it, I could just as easily go to the bathroom a few feet away from my computer, lift my shirt up and touch my stomach as much as I want. I don't need to be dating a muscular guy to do that. Muscles are really not that fascinating, especially when you've got plenty of your own.

 

Phoe gave a great analogy. I've got big ones and some guys aren't into that! Perfectly cool by me, its their preference. Height is also a similar analogy. I'm 5'11 and some guys aren't into that either. Its just a preference. Not everyone is going to want the same thing. That's why you pursue girls who are into the type you are.

 

You still dont get it....

 

Preference is one thing....I mean you might not particularly prefer an intelligent man, but would you disqualify one if all other boxes were checked?

 

I dunno....

 

I have been with many women...I admit that I am far from perfect, but never got anything but compliments on my body type..While not all were in it for the good body, they werent ever going to sit around and tell me they'd prefer me to get fat, or throw me out because I was just "too muscular".....Never happened...ever...

 

Back when I had a FB acct, several women "friends" would occasionally post some picture of some guy and all of the women would make salty comments...In every single case, it was a shirtless guy with a jacked and ripped physique....Not one time did I see a woman make a single comment like.."sorry...too muscular for me...show me a fat guy and ill get excited"...

 

Ill accept your opinion...but it makes no sense to me...If a guy is a douche, fine...he is out no matter what he looks like...I just cant see a woman immediately discounting a well built guy that offers all she wants...

 

TFY

[MrNate 2.0]

I'm a fairly muscular guy who's been single for 18 months now, without so much as a tumbleweed blowing across the barren desert that is my love life.

In spite of my appearance I am very bashful, kind and extremely placid, and was wondering perhaps whether having such a physique might actually be counting against me.

I would like to meet a cute girl with a similar personality to myself, but the only notable female attention I have received in my life has been from a pair of inebriated wenches in a nightclub. I get a lot of compliments (it's one of the first things they remark upon) from male colleagues at work who are surprised that I'm single, but what guys think a woman finds attractive isn't necessarily what a woman would find to be attractive.

 

I have some questions that I would be grateful for your female perspective on..

 

Do you pre-judge guys for being muscular? For example thinking that they are probably narcissistic/ players/ lacking in intelligence/ aggressive?

 

Would it make you feel insecure to go out with such a guy, maybe worrying somewhat about your own figure/diet etc?

 

Is the appearance itself a turn off? At what point does it become too much?

 

Thanks!

 

I think your build is probably fine bud. I'm a pretty strong guy myself.

 

 

I think the better question to ask is how confident do you feel when dealing with women?

[thefooloftheyear]

But Men's idea of what's perfect are all very different.

 

Some men want big luscious E Cups, others want pert B cups.

 

I've had men tell me mine are too big, others told me they're too small.

 

So yeah, a guy could definitely be disappointed with D cups.

 

 

 

No argument and I agree.....But who ever gets perfection?? No one...

 

And I highly doubt any guy threw you to the curb or ignored you because your breasts were too big...Sorry...cant see that......You want to tell me you have freak show stupid Stacey Staxx type balloons...ok...but just garden variety nice tits??....nah...

 

TFY

[TigerLilly78]

..I just cant see a woman immediately discounting a well built guy that offers all she wants...

 

TFY

 

 

What about a guy discounting a cirtin type of women because shes not what he wants? she might tick every box perfectly but yet hes not attracted to her and thats his preference end of the day its personal preference simple..some are not as hardcore and will give a person a chance anyways to some its a big deal..

[pink_sugar]

Just depends on the guy.

[mr_dave]

The thing is the really hot women, at least the ones that are 9s & 10s in looks, are going to be really hard to keep. A lot of guys would probably be plagued with insecurities when every guy is checking out their woman. She'd be hit on even in front of you, and you have to let it show it doesn't bother you every time.

 

Yeah, well I'm realistic in that respect, I would never expect to attract/ keep a 9 or 10 because I'm not good looking myself.

 

I think your build is probably fine bud. I'm a pretty strong guy myself.

 

 

I think the better question to ask is how confident do you feel when dealing with women?

 

 

Thanks. To answer your question, I have no confidence whatsoever!

I was very much a late developer, I tried with girls when I was in my mid to late teens, but after facing overwhelming rejection, I would just bottle up any amorous feelings I had towards girls I fancied from afar, telling myself I wasn't good enough/ man enough for them.

I went through university without so much as a date or kiss.

 

I've had one girlfriend, she was beautiful, it lasted for 3.5 years, but she left me for another guy - my confidence is back where it was, believing I'm not good enough. Now it's a grown up woman I have to attract somehow, one who has probably been there/ done that, and who has a lot of options available to her, and who will see right through me.

I reject myself before women can.

 

Yeah I have problems!

[No Limit]

Depends how muscular. These guys going to bodybuilding championships? Never. Muscles are okay - hell, I'm working out almost daily myself - but it has to look healthy.

[Maleficent]

 

http://dc652.4shared.com/download/tmebv_TOba/untitled2.jpg?lgfp=3000

 

 

The two trainers at my gym look like that and it's the kind of muscle tone I love.

It shows you are working hard but that you aren't so obsessed with bulking up that you end up with balloons instead of muscles.

 

However, while I am also very athletic and weightlift myself, chances are I would have a mentality similar to Phoe's. I would probably hesitate to ask you out. (Not that I wouldn't eventually, but I would hesitate...)

 

And it's not by any fault of your own. It's just the way it is. We are raised to believe beautiful people are unattainable. Men hesitate to ask women out if they consider them 'above their league' too.

 

I guess it doesn't really help your predicament. Just do your thing and be yourself. Some people will see right through the douchebag stereotype.

[mr_dave]

The two trainers at my gym look like that and it's the kind of muscle tone I love.

It shows you are working hard but that you aren't so obsessed with bulking up that you end up with balloons instead of muscles.

 

However, while I am also very athletic and weightlift myself, chances are I would have a mentality similar to Phoe's. I would probably hesitate to ask you out. (Not that I wouldn't eventually, but I would hesitate...)

 

And it's not by any fault of your own. It's just the way it is. We are raised to believe beautiful people are unattainable. Men hesitate to ask women out if they consider them 'above their league' too.

 

I guess it doesn't really help your predicament. Just do your thing and be yourself. Some people will see right through the douchebag stereotype.

 

Aww, thanks!