How should I pursue this girl?

[somedude81]

On Tuesday I had lunch with a girl I just met in a dance class. We exchanged numbers and made plans to go out dancing this coming Monday.

 

I've texted with her a little bit since then, mainly about the test that we had in our salsa class. We haven't texted since Wednesday.

 

I'm not really sure how to get things started with her.

 

The number one thing I want to do is confirm for Monday and figure out the logistics. She's coming from out of town so I figure we can meet at the club, or she can meet me at my place and I'll drive us there.

 

Also, I'm wondering if it would be OK to suggest meeting up this weekend or if I should just be fine with the plans we've already made. What would be a good text to send to confirm everything and when should I send it?

 

Lastly, my last thread exploded and went way off topic, so I'd like the focus of this thread to be just on this girl. There's no need to talk about me, that's been done to death. Thanks

[avintagegirl]

Just say what you said here.

 

Hi, I just wanted to see if we are still on for dancing on Monday.

 

 

Are you wanting to take her out to dinner or something? Since you have already made Monday's plans stick with that. if you would like to take her to dinner you could try this:

 

 

Hi, I just wanted to see if we are still on for dancing on Monday. Do you know what time you will be in town? If you want to grab a bite to eat, I know a place close to dance class. We could meet there and I would be happy to drive. If not, I will see you in class. Have a good weekend.

[somedude81]

Oh, I hadn't thought about taking her out to dinner. That could be a good idea. I just don't know if I want to do that yet. Probably the next time we go out as it's a little more formal.

 

So you think I shouldn't try to make plans with her before then.

[rester]

It's already Friday. I wouldn't try to set anything up for sooner than Monday. In my opinion, the best thing to do is call her up and offer up those two options. Gives her the option if she isn't comfortable going to your house. If you're not ready for dinner don't suggest it. Maybe a drink afterwards if the dancing goes well.

 

I also think a call instead of a text shows some guts and gives you a chance to ask her how her week went. Keep it short but sweet. She may not even pick up and you can leave her a message with your two options. Good luck somedude.

[avintagegirl]

Yes because its already Friday night now, plans before then would be tomorrow or Sunday and odds are she may have her weekend already set. I just think it's short notice. Just relax and enjoy your dance class with her on Monday.

[somedude81]

Well we've been texting and she said that she can't make it on Monday that she has to study for an exam.

 

And then since then she's been texting me non stop about random things.

 

I don't know what's going on

[organizedchaos]

On Tuesday I had lunch with a girl I just met in a dance class. We exchanged numbers and made plans to go out dancing this coming Monday.

 

I've texted with her a little bit since then, mainly about the test that we had in our salsa class. We haven't texted since Wednesday.

 

I'm not really sure how to get things started with her.

 

The number one thing I want to do is confirm for Monday and figure out the logistics. She's coming from out of town so I figure we can meet at the club, or she can meet me at my place and I'll drive us there.

 

Also, I'm wondering if it would be OK to suggest meeting up this weekend or if I should just be fine with the plans we've already made. What would be a good text to send to confirm everything and when should I send it?

 

Lastly, my last thread exploded and went way off topic, so I'd like the focus of this thread to be just on this girl. There's no need to talk about me, that's been done to death. Thanks

 

Do not try to make plans with her before Monday. I told you to play this cool. However, starting a thread dedicated just to this girl is also not a good idea. You're already investing too much in to this.

 

Just text her on Sunday afternoon to confirm the plans for Monday night. Don't ask her out after the class on Monday either. Wait until the next day. Tell her you had a lot of fun dancing with her the night before and see if she'd like to do something that week. But have a plan. Don't say "want to do something?" Tell her "Hey, I was going to check out this new opening at the museum, want to join me?" If she says "Sure" you ask her what night works best for her. Or something like that. Or "When are you free this week? I know this great [insert food type] place in town."

 

The way you phrase this makes her tell you when she is free to see you because you have a great idea for something that is fun and you want her to join you. No chance for a wishy washy answer. You get that, you move on. She tells you "Wednesday night is good for me" - you're in.

 

That's it. Have a plan. Make it interesting. Ask her what night she's free. All of this is predicated on Monday actually being fun. But wait until the next day to set up the next date.

[organizedchaos]

Well we've been texting and she said that she can't make it on Monday that she has to study for an exam.

 

And then since then she's been texting me non stop about random things.

 

I don't know what's going on

 

Maybe she does have to study. Some people do make their studies a priority over a date!

 

But texting you is a good sign. See if she's free another night next week to do something else. Follow what I told you to do. If she can't commit, cut your losses now or just play it cool like you got other priorities in your life.

[CrystalCastles]

Well we've been texting and she said that she can't make it on Monday that she has to study for an exam.

 

And then since then she's been texting me non stop about random things.

 

I don't know what's going on

 

Oh good!

 

From your OP you seem to have figured everything out yourself. Just be relaxed and be yourself.

 

Looks like you're getting positive signals from her. This is good!

 

Edit: organisedchaos gave some very good suggestions. Be more direct when making plans.

[GemmaUK]

As she can't make Monday just call her and ask her if she would like to go on a date with you another day.

 

Make sure she knows it's a date then she can decide to say yes if she is interested or no if she is not.

 

I wouldn't gauge number of texts as interest necessarily as some folk just text lots of friends a lot of the time. Plus if someone responds a person can feel obliged to respond back so it's not really too big an indicator.

[xxoo]

Well we've been texting and she said that she can't make it on Monday that she has to study for an exam.

 

And then since then she's been texting me non stop about random things.

 

I don't know what's going on

 

Use a random text conversation to suggest a spontaneous coffee date or activity date this weekend! "You've clearly earned a break after all that studying. Let's go get some ice cream together."

[normal person]

Looking good, SD. I was scared when I saw you made yet another thread about a girl but I was pleasantly surprised to read that she texts you randomly. You deserve a girl that actually wants to talk to you, not one that merely tolerates you talking her. And you'll probably have better luck with her too.

 

Organizedchaos gave you great advice. Be cool, don't be pushy, and have a plan. Make a concrete plan to go dancing one night and let that be it for now.

 

If it were me, I'd take her dancing, then see if she wants a few drinks and just see what happens. Who knows?

[preraph]

Sounds like Monday is just not a good night for her this week. So just ask her how about the following weekend.

[somedude81]

BTW, what I meant was text me randomly was that after I asked her if she could go dancing, she just kept texting me and seemed to be wanting to drag it out and just text for the sake of it.

 

From what happened to me recently I've pretty much accepted that when a girl says no, it's means she's not interested in me. But then this girl just kept sending texts.

 

I'm not going to text her again and I'll just talk to her Tuesday in class.

[avintagegirl]

BTW, what I meant was text me randomly was that after I asked her if she could go dancing, she just kept texting me and seemed to be wanting to drag it out and just text for the sake of it.

 

From what happened to me recently I've pretty much accepted that when a girl says no, it's means she's not interested in me. But then this girl just kept sending texts.

 

I'm not going to text her again and I'll just talk to her Tuesday in class.

 

I think this is great. Maybe on Tuesday if you are still getting positive vibes from her you can ask to to have a coffee on the following Saturday.

[SJC2008]

Most everyone is saying things are going good, what am I missing? Did she not know she had a test when yall originally made plans? It's still a flake in my book. The fact that she's still texting could be a silver lining but don't read too much into it.

[organizedchaos]

Most everyone is saying things are going good, what am I missing? Did she not know she had a test when yall originally made plans? It's still a flake in my book. The fact that she's still texting could be a silver lining but don't read too much into it.

 

Right. All in saying is it's not a total blow off. But yeah, don't contact unless she does before Tuesday. Try again. She can't commit. Move on to the next one.

[somedude81]

Most everyone is saying things are going good, what am I missing? Did she not know she had a test when yall originally made plans? It's still a flake in my book. The fact that she's still texting could be a silver lining but don't read too much into it.

 

Yup, that's exactly how I see it.

 

Regardless of her reason she still canceled the plans. Maybe she didn't know?

 

Either way I'll talk to her in a couple days.

[Els]

Eh, I think when she said she has a test on Monday, you should've asked her when would be a good time to go out. If she doesn't give you a direct answer (e.g. she says "I'm not sure" or "I'll think about it" or something) then you should write her off.

[SJC2008]

Eh, I think when she said she has a test on Monday, you should've asked her when would be a good time to go out. If she doesn't give you a direct answer (e.g. she says "I'm not sure" or "I'll think about it" or something) then you should write her off.

 

No, that would be pushy. He asked her once already.

 

Women want to be the ones to worry if he's gonna call/ask for more dates. Once they flake and the tables are turned where it's the man "hoping", more often than not it's a lost cause.

[Toodaloo]

I am getting a bit confused.

 

I am guessing that tonight is off, so good luck tomorrow when you see her to set up your date! Talking is always better than texting.

 

If she doesn't confirm a day and time tomorrow then she is a flake and you should move on to the next one. But I shall cross fingers for you.

[somedude81]

I am getting a bit confused.

 

I am guessing that tonight is off, so good luck tomorrow when you see her to set up your date! Talking is always better than texting.

 

If she doesn't confirm a day and time tomorrow then she is a flake and you should move on to the next one. But I shall cross fingers for you.

 

Yes tonight is off.

 

Oddly enough she came to my class today.

 

She arrived in the dance room and since I was already with a girl, she said hi to me and then found an open guy on the far end of the room. Right before it was my time to dance with with her the instructor stopped the music and did a test review. As soon as I coud I walked over to her and gave her a side hug. Then we just talked while the test review was going on. Then finally I got to dance with her for one song. That was really fun. She said she had to go and meet her friend and go study for her exam. Then she gave me a real hug and took off.

 

I'll see her tomorrow and most likely have lunch again with her. I think I want to plan a real date for the end of the week.

 

A little off topic but it's now 100% obvious that I have no chance with busy girl. She left with the same guy again and completely ignored me when I was trying to walk and talk with her. She was being rude and disrespectful to me. This is probably her method of trying to get me to leave her alone. It sucks but that's life.

 

Hopefully I can get things started with this girl and not care about busy girl anymore.

[GemmaUK]

Yes tonight is off.

 

Oddly enough she came to my class today.

 

She arrived in the dance room and since I was already with a girl, she said hi to me and then found an open guy on the far end of the room. Right before it was my time to dance with with her the instructor stopped the music and did a test review. As soon as I coud I walked over to her and gave her a side hug. Then we just talked while the test review was going on. Then finally I got to dance with her for one song. That was really fun. She said she had to go and meet her friend and go study for her exam. Then she gave me a real hug and took off.

 

I'll see her tomorrow and most likely have lunch again with her. I think I want to plan a real date for the end of the week.

 

A little off topic but it's now 100% obvious that I have no chance with busy girl. She left with the same guy again and completely ignored me when I was trying to walk and talk with her. She was being rude and disrespectful to me. This is probably her method of trying to get me to leave her alone. It sucks but that's life.

 

Hopefully I can get things started with this girl and not care about busy girl anymore.

 

I would not take the hug as a sure sign, she had said she couldn't make it, she then does and does not come straight up to you.

 

Don't expect anything here SD. Just to say, don't get all your hopes up again.

[Cristo]

Yes tonight is off.

 

Oddly enough she came to my class today.

 

She arrived in the dance room and since I was already with a girl, she said hi to me and then found an open guy on the far end of the room. Right before it was my time to dance with with her the instructor stopped the music and did a test review. As soon as I coud I walked over to her and gave her a side hug. Then we just talked while the test review was going on. Then finally I got to dance with her for one song. That was really fun. She said she had to go and meet her friend and go study for her exam. Then she gave me a real hug and took off.

 

I'll see her tomorrow and most likely have lunch again with her. I think I want to plan a real date for the end of the week.

 

A little off topic but it's now 100% obvious that I have no chance with busy girl. She left with the same guy again and completely ignored me when I was trying to walk and talk with her. She was being rude and disrespectful to me. This is probably her method of trying to get me to leave her alone. It sucks but that's life.

 

Hopefully I can get things started with this girl and not care about busy girl anymore.

 

Sounds like neither girl is into you.

[somedude81]

I would not take the hug as a sure sign, she had said she couldn't make it, she then does and does not come straight up to you.

 

Don't expect anything here SD. Just to say, don't get all your hopes up again.

 

I haven't had a real hug from a woman in a LONG time. So to get two of them from the same woman in a day really said something to me. And the second hug was much more real.

 

BTW, I'm talking about not being able to go dancing tonight which would take several hours and not about not going to the class when she's already on campus.

 

Yes, I should not get my hopes up. I've already had one girl absolutely crush me, I don't want to get hurt again. But it's so hard not to get excited.