How should I pursue this girl?

[Els]

I'm not getting any advice. All I have is people telling me that I'm not going to be able to date the girls I want, just as you pointed out for the 1,000th time.

 

What I need is support and encouragement, something I can do to improve my odds. Everything else is worthless to me.

 

Get a ripped bod, get a great career, get money, get lots of life experiences that you can impress them with, and get used to spoiling them on dates. No $2 taco nights!

 

Yeah, there's a lot of focus on the superficial here, but truth be told there aren't too many 13-year-gap relationships that don't involve some form of it. And I do know a few - the last one was coincidentally a 33-yo man dating a 20-yo girl. They broke up eventually after a few years, but before that they seemed happy. They also constantly went out to snazzy hotel restaurants and upscale bars, and he brought her on frequent trips to five-star resorts.

 

I'm not ripping on the people who choose to partake in them, it's consensual and as long as both people are happy with their choice, who cares. But it is fact. Nobody is interested in someone 13 years older than them who is in the same life stage as them or lower. So move on in your life stage and if you still want to chase 20 yo girls, you'll be in a better position to do so with some (good) moolah.

[rester]

You've been asking for advice for the last six years. If all you wanted was support and encouragement, why didn't you ask for that? What kind of support and encouragement are you looking for?

 

Most everyone here is trying to help you, but all you see are people attacking you because when they try to help and offer the advice THAT YOU ASKED FOR, you tell them why their advice sucks. But people, including myself, want you to succeed so badly we keep falling for the same trick.

[BlueIris]

Get a ripped bod, get a great career, get money, get lots of life experiences that you can impress them with, and get used to spoiling them on dates. No $2 taco nights!

 

She's right. If the only thing you want to hear is how to attract cute ~20 year olds, this is the recipe for a man who is so much older than they are and has little relationship experience. Not all young women will be attracted to this package, but some will be for at least a while.

[Imported]

I'm not getting any advice. All I have is people telling me that I'm not going to be able to date the girls I want, just as you pointed out for the 1,000th time.

 

What I need is support and encouragement, something I can do to improve my odds. Everything else is worthless to me.

 

 

OP, I get girls younger than me. Much younger than me. Here is how I do it.

 

 

I know they are younger. They know I am older. "I look way younger than I am". Whatever. Most girls just seem to like me. I swear to God, it's just un-ending no matter how many times I mess up. I know they realize I am older than them, I don't think they realize how much older I am than them.

 

They come to me or they are so obvious with their attraction, I go to them. All I do is talk with them and make sure they know my name if they didn't already figure it out through their own means.

 

Then they google my name and they will find me because my first name is unusual as well as my last name. You google my full name and me and my great great grandfather will pop up. That's it. Seriously, in all of google, it's just me and my great great grandfather. So they will figure out my age pretty easily.

 

Then I see them either back away or stay. And I take it from there. I don't actually pursue till I am sure they know the deal and I know they are cool with it and still interested. I'm not trying to trick anyone here.

 

However, I do look pretty damn exceptional for any age and I am financially secure for my age.

[suladas]

You want some advice on how to get a date?

 

No, you don't have anything in common with a 22 year old college student. You DO have something in common with a mid 30's woman who has zero friends, zero dates, no job, lives on loans, and whose full time pursuit is finding a young boy in college to have sex with in his dorm room.

[Haydn]

OP, you don't need a life coach on how to date young women. You need to learn how to date women in general. Hanging round dorms and young girls is creepy and remotely not endearing. You need to work on charisma if this is what you want to do. Older guys can pick up younger girls but they generally have things going for them or things that work in their favour. Put your head down, graduate, earn some cash. Get stable first.

[somedude81]

OP, you don't need a life coach on how to date young women. You need to learn how to date women in general. Hanging round dorms and young girls is creepy and remotely not endearing. You need to work on charisma if this is what you want to do. Older guys can pick up younger girls but they generally have things going for them or things that work in their favour. Put your head down, graduate, earn some cash. Get stable first.

 

And then what?

 

I come back here asking how to date women only that time I'll have more money to my name.

 

I don't like the thought that people are saying young women would only be interested in an older man because of his money. I'm not looking for a sugar baby.

 

Yes I do need to work on charisma, how to be charming, know how chemistry works and always carry cheese with me while I'm walking my cheetah.

 

Hah sorry, I just found it funny that charisma, charming and chemistry all start with ch.

[Els]

I don't like the thought that people are saying young women would only be interested in an older man because of his money. I'm not looking for a sugar baby.

 

So. You're not really even looking for advice on how a 33-yo man can have (relatively) high chances of dating a 20-yo girl, then?

[Haydn]

Now if you were walking a Cheetah around.... That`s a head turner and an absolute talking point.

 

I agree that the `CH` words are important.

 

I didn`t mean you needed a load of dosh to get girls flocking to you. I meant that personal development can bring rewards for what you what to achieve.

 

And then what?

 

I come back here asking how to date women only that time I'll have more money to my name.

 

I don't like the thought that people are saying young women would only be interested in an older man because of his money. I'm not looking for a sugar baby.

 

Yes I do need to work on charisma, how to be charming, know how chemistry works and always carry cheese with me while I'm walking my cheetah.

 

Hah sorry, I just found it funny that charisma, charming and chemistry all start with ch.

[somedude81]

So. You're not really even looking for advice on how a 33-yo man can have (relatively) high chances of dating a 20-yo girl, then?

 

Is having money the only way?

 

Then what I'm supposed to do once I have money?

 

As I said, I don't want a sugar baby.

 

My dad is around 10 years older than my stepmother and when they got married he was certainly not wealthy.

[somedude81]

Now if you were walking a Cheetah around.... That`s a head turner and an absolute talking point.

 

I agree that the `CH` words are important.

 

I didn`t mean you needed a load of dosh to get girls flocking to you. I meant that personal development can bring rewards for what you what to achieve.

 

Click on my name, and choose, view public profile

 

Yes I know that personal development is important, but I'm very afraid that even if/when I get a good job, I'm still going to be struggling with women. And of course I'll still be making threads here, only then everybody would focus on something else they think I should do to be good enough for women to want to date me.

[Els]

Is having money the only way?

 

Then what I'm supposed to do once I have money?

 

Not really only money, no. Like I said, great career and lots of life experiences (travels, etc) - but those are somewhat related to money.

 

Once you have all that, you socialize and the girls who are open to having an older man will notice you. That's what I've observed, at least. The guy that I describe met his 20-yo gf at a social event.

 

As I said, I don't want a sugar baby.

 

My dad is around 10 years older than my stepmother and when they got married he was certainly not wealthy.

 

How old were they when they met? 40 and 50 is very different from 20 and 33. Age difference matters less as you get older.

[somedude81]

Not really only money, no. Like I said, great career and lots of life experiences (travels, etc) - but those are somewhat related to money.

 

 

Once you have all that, you socialize and the girls who are open to having an older man will notice you. That's what I've observed, at least. The guy that I describe met his 20-yo gf at a social event.

Life experiences and travels is what would attract young women?

 

It seems like something else is missing.

 

How old were they when they met? 40 and 50 is very different from 20 and 33. Age difference matters less as you get older.

Closer to 25 and 35. By that time my dad also my brother and I.

 

Hell, my dad didn't even have a college degree and he was a security guard at the place where she worked.

 

Though my dad is tall, good looking and outgoing (the opposite of me), so what works for him, won't easily work for me.

[Els]

Life experiences and travels is what would attract young women?

 

It seems like something else is missing.

 

Well, we're not talking about 'attracting young women'. We're talking about attracting young women to a man 13 years older than them. I think these (career, money, experience) are the main reasons why a young woman would choose such, instead of dating someone closer to her age.

 

Another reason that comes to mind is commitment, a young woman who REALLY wants to have a family ASAP. I really wouldn't recommend getting involved in this at all with a 20 yo, though...

 

Closer to 25 and 35. By that time my dad also my brother and I.

 

Hell, my dad didn't even have a college degree and he was a security guard at the place where she worked.

 

Though my dad is tall, good looking and outgoing (the opposite of me), so what works for him, won't easily work for me.

Was he not the breadwinner in their relationship? Security guard pay would be enough to support a family a few decades ago I would think.

 

(Edited to add) To be clear, I'm not saying it's impossible for people to organically fall in love. It's rare enough in most cases though, and even more rare in the case of large age differences. It can still possibly happen, but you did ask about how to maximize your chances at getting what you want.

Edited November 6, 2014 by Elswyth

[sillyanswer]

I'm not getting any advice.

 

If you think people are bashing you then I guess that's a pretty good riposte. Touché!

 

But, I think you have been given lots of advice in this thread. Some of what you don't like is probably just cold hard truth, though... not advice as such but just "well this is the way it is" which you don't like.

[sillyanswer]

Life experiences and travels is what would attract young women?

 

It seems like something else is missing.

 

There was a longer list only a few posts earlier that included getting a career, money and a ripped body. Even that might not be a complete list, but it's something you can be working on while figuring out the rest.

[xxoo]

 

I don't like the thought that people are saying young women would only be interested in an older man because of his money. I'm not looking for a sugar baby.

.

 

What you like and what is reality are two different things. This is the problem of indulging in a fantasy world.

 

The young women don't like that old guys want to have sex with them. They wish that weren't true. But it doesn't change reality, does it? Women who want to be "just friends" are told to face reality.

[thefooloftheyear]

Maybe I am reading this wrong, but it sure sounds like SD wants a "participation trophy".....

 

There are no participation trophies in this game...You gotta bring something to the table..Sure, there are some guys that can, but they are rare..and time eventually runs out on them as well..the game passes them by pretty fast, when there isnt anything more than a pretty face...Looks fade....no one escapes this fact..

 

Some other poster brought up Google...Interesting...In many cases you can tell a great deal about a person from this useful tool...Both good and bad..If you Google my name, you will find probably 40+ pages worth of stuff I have been involved in...Mostly career stuff, accomplishments, endorsements from customers, accreditations, athletic accomplishments, writings, qoutings, etc....How much have to do with women? None...

 

So what happens when someone Google's your name? What comes up? What does it say about you as a man?

 

I'm sorry....A lot of guys get pissed off when they see accomplished guys with attractive and desirable women...They will call the woimen gold diggers and the guys jerks..Its got nothing to do with money, in most cases...The guy is more desirable, because he brings a lot to the table...And the same desirability that attracts women is the same desirability that attracts employers, customers, etc...The cash is just along for the ride..

 

I won't tell you to work on yourself...That horse is already dead and buried..But take a look around...Just showing up and being a "nice guy" is not going to be enough for 98% of guys...But don't get angry about it...Being well rounded, and accomplished isnt for the benefit of women or anyone else, its for YOU....Once you realize that, then, POOF......all of a sudden this game isnt so hard after all...

 

TFY