Being a mistress hurts too.

[jessicachoi]

But why...?

 

Because he is clearly not a good person. And he hurts you.

 

Most of the times, the 2 biggest factors in attraction for women are:

 

- good looks

- he is sweet

 

there are lots of good looking guys that would want to show sweetness to a self proclaimed beautiful girl.

 

So why waste your time with this scum?

 

I dont know. It has happend before: i dont become desperate for a man so quick or even like a man so quick. But when I do i become extremely attached and desperate. He knows how to get me, he is such a smooth talker. And in my eyes he is so handsome and knows how to touch my heart and also know my weak spots. And... i feel save in.his arms.

 

I never really had a good relationship, or any good relationship with men at all.

[peaksandvalleys]

Other thread was about the same man. That was my current situation, but changed so people wouldnt react or focus on the other crazy aspects of this affair without getting answer on what I wantes. Who would care about a pregnant mistress who sees her MM having sex with his legal wife as CHEATING. People think I am crazy. But I am not. I thought i would become important for him when I got pregnant, but he didnt treat me like he treated his legal wife.

 

I fel bad for her having a husband who cheats.

 

Not bad enough to exclude yourself form being the woman he cheats with. Maybe you should save that pity for yourself.

[dclan]

I dont know. It has happend before: i dont become desperate for a man so quick or even like a man so quick. But when I do i become extremely attached and desperate. He knows how to get me, he is such a smooth talker. And in my eyes he is so handsome and knows how to touch my heart and also know my weak spots. And... i feel save in.his arms.

 

I never really had a good relationship, or any good relationship with men at all.

 

OK since you are saying "in your eyes" he is handome...I asumme he is not that handsome really.

 

Never having a good relationship with a man by the age of 18 (before you were with this man) is a common thing actually. The problem is that you are not having a good relationship with this man either. Of course he is going to stick around for you: you are young.

 

Being a smooth talker its easy.

 

Let me ask you again: what do you get out from this relationship? when you could be dating someone closer to your age who truly loves you, and gives you the things you deserve.

[jessicachoi]

OK since you are saying "in your eyes" he is handome...I asumme he is not that handsome really.

 

Never having a good relationship with a man by the age of 18 (before you were with this man) is a common thing actually. The problem is that you are not having a good relationship with this man either. Of course he is going to stick around for you: you are young.

 

Being a smooth talker its easy.

 

Let me ask you again: what do you get out from this relationship? when you could be dating someone closer to your age who truly loves you, and gives you the things you deserve.

 

I am just addicted to him and want his attention. I get to spend time with him, travel, have sex, feel protected,

[Lernaean_Hydra]

I don't think this is a troll thread at all. She isn't cold and heartless. She is madly in love with that man and refuses to give up on the hope that they will be together 'officially' one day.

 

 

Nah, I'm sorry...I'm having trouble buying it. Check out how many times she mentioned being 'young and beautiful' in her original post? I mean, settle down there Lana del Rey. She's laid it on pretty thick tbh.

[jessicachoi]

Nah, I'm sorry...I'm having trouble buying it. Check out how many times she mentioned being 'young and beautiful' in her original post? I mean, settle down there Lana del Rey. She's laid it on pretty thick tbh.

 

that is the only thing I have and am confident about. Dont make fun of it

[dclan]

I am just addicted to him and want his attention. I get to spend time with him, travel, have sex, feel protected,

 

But you are not protected...

 

A woman protected by a man would be in his home, and she would be the center of his own personal universe.

 

So again...?

 

-----------------

 

I agree with you guys, this is thread seems as a troll post. But never the less if a person is taking time to make threads like this, she probably does have some genuine real problem. Of course it might not be what she says she is.

[jessicachoi]

wrecking my selfesteem and value wont help i guess..

 

I dont know what it is. He just got me in his hands. I am just in love!!

[OwMyEyeball]

Other thread was about the same man. That was my current situation, but changed so people wouldnt react or focus on the other crazy aspects of this affair without getting answer on what I wantes. Who would care about a pregnant mistress who sees her MM having sex with his legal wife as CHEATING. People think I am crazy. But I am not. I thought i would become important for him when I got pregnant, but he didnt treat me like he treated his legal wife.

 

I fel bad for her having a husband who cheats.

So you intentionally falsified information in order to get a desired result.

 

You have no credibility.

 

This entire thread reads like a convenience store romance novel.

 

If I were to take all of what's been written at face valued I'd advise you to seek therapy. You have serious attachment issues that will plague your life and leave you bouncing from one co-dependent relationship to the next, each one more miserable than the last as your only source of confidence - your appearance - dies away decades before you do.

 

Some here are saying that you're wasting the "best years of your life". What a despairing and fatalistic viewpoint. That would imply that one's joy in life diminishes as they age. Bull****.

 

What you are doing is flailing the victim card around because somewhere in life you learned that being pitiful is the best way to gain positive attention. That can be unlearned and replaced with self-empowering beliefs that peg self-esteem to core traits, not contingent ones that ebb, flow and disappear throughout a lifespan.

 

You're welcome to remain on your miserable path for the remainder of your life. No one is going to take that from you. The only person with the power to make truly positive changes in your life is you. No one else is responsible for your happiness, though you seem fully willing to surrender that responsibility to others, who as any person, will eventually falter.

[LivingWaterPlease]

I am not angry or mad at the legal wife. Only jealous, very jealous. She is a lucky woman. But I do feel bad for her, and for her children. I have seen her like three times and I even made her a dress.. The letter I wrote was something I would write in my dairy, not really send. I wrote it in a jealous mood and actually felt helpless because I realized clearly where I got into. It is nothing personal for her, it is not her fault nor she deserves it. She just happens to be the wife of the man I fall in love with. Fall in love with just like she did.

 

And I didn't mean to mock the wife. My looks are the only thing I am confident about.

 

And yes, maybe I do need therapy. And I can't go to my parents, they will hate me forever.

 

 

OP, you seem to be very confused.

 

You are being used and abused.

 

I think you realize it on some level but possibly don't know of any other way to live.

 

You are young enough to have a decent life if you can get some help soon.

 

Here's a very simple way to proceed that could mean the difference between living a sad and disastrous life and living a joyful and fulfilling life:

 

1. Print off all of the posts on this thread (your's and others') and any other posts you've made on this forum.

 

2. Call a therapist and make an appointment.

 

3. Take the print out to the therapist's with you, give it to the counselor and tell her/him you might need help but you don't know where to start.

 

4. Ask for their advice on how to proceed.

[Survivor12]

I am 21, he is 35.

 

He didn't exactly asked to marry, he said he liked "us" as in we two together and such, he said he would marry me if that was legal. i am in love with him as much as she js.

 

We don't only have sex we do other things too. Things he doesnt do with his legal wife. We spend a lot of time together. And he begun helping me with connections after we were a few years together.

 

I could get like almost any men I want but I want him since I got attached to him. Even if someone is bettee, i feel like i still want him. And when he doesnt give me the attention I want, I become sad or angry and say/do things to get his attention. I also do it with other men but especially with him

 

You contradict yourself with everything you say...In an earlier post, you said that you don't talk much, here you say that you spend a lot of time together...in another post, you say that you are 25 & he is 27...in another that you are 21.

 

You say now that the ring wasn't a proposal, yet you call yourself his fiancee...

 

This is ridiculous....and pathetic. I'm out.

[KatZee]

when I met him when I was 18, I didnt knew he was married. I just found out when we begun with flirting and texting. If i knew before I wouldnt ever flirted with him.

 

OK, and??? What exactly is your point here? You found out after you started "flirting and texting." What is flirting and texting? It's nothing. It's bull****. It's not like you had been sleeping with him for 6 months completely unaware, being led on, being told he loved you, and you him. After you found out, what you guys had was NOTHING. I'm so confused why this was so hard to walk away from.

 

You know what a normal person would have done at that point? Walked away.

 

 

I feel like I am his real second wife... without all the talking and conversations, because we dont really talk a lot. The ring, the pregnancy... it is like I had a husband but I did and donot.

 

I second the opinion that you are clearly delusional. You feel like a second WIFE???? Really? This guy doesn't even talk to you! He screws you when he's bored! You're nothing. What exactly do you think a marriage is? Just having sex?

 

A ring and conceiving a baby because of penis in vagina does NOT a marriage make.

 

 

But I cannnot get out of this and I am not even sure if I want too. I even meet his children and they like me.

 

I hope his wife finds out, finds you, and beats your ass.

 

The end.

 

 

The vibe I get from this chick? Bunny boiler. No joke. I bet 9/10 of the things written here are completely fabricated in her own mind. Projection, delusion, fantasy land. Nothing more.

[Redheaded Mistress]

With no fault divorce, crappy women who leave their husbands for other men can also play this angle. Believe me, I know.

 

If crappy women who leave their husbands for other men do or don't do this too wouldn't particularly relate to me doing it to a cheating spouse on my way out.

 

I'm not one who pushes or wants a messy divorce... I didn't have one with my first husband. In this case though, with an unfeeling and uncaring spouse who has a mistress who'd get pregnant to keep him? There will be much messiness. I'd storm through like the Queen of Hearts taking as many heads as I could with me.

[KatZee]

I know I could. But i am so attached to him. I want it with him.

 

Too bad, so sad. You're never going to have it.

 

Let me reiterate and make it clear. NEVER.

 

Do you honestly think a 35 year old man with kids, and a wife of many years is just going to leave them for YOU? A 21 year old naive little girl with absolutely nothing to offer besides a warm body?

 

Married men very rarely leave their wives for the other woman. It's almost nill. That's how much of a chance you have.

 

And even IF on the off chance he left his wife and family for you, it wouldn't even last. You'd be the little rebound and then he'd go wind up with another serious girlfriend, and then most likely another wife.

 

The mistress NEVER walks away with happily ever after. The mistress NEVER becomes the next wife. The mistress is tossed out like a used condom. Never to be thought of again.

[Survivor12]

I DO feel very bad for her. How many times do I have to say it? It is terrible for her.

 

I guess something snapped in me in the period where I got pregnant from him , ending up in a miscarriage. And two months later she got pregnant and got a blessed healthy child. It hurts for me seeing her having all the things I want to have.

 

On August 4th you wrote that you were two months pregnant. So how is it that the wife could have become pregnant two months later & had a child???

[Redheaded Mistress]

The mistress NEVER walks away with happily ever after. The mistress NEVER becomes the next wife. The mistress is tossed out like a used condom. Never to be thought of again.

 

Except for where she does... But I'm not thinking that will happen here either. He has taken a penis pitstop on a test drive with the newer model. I'm sure he's been on other test drives.

[KatZee]

Except for where she does... But I'm not thinking that will happen here either. He has taken a penis pitstop on a test drive with the newer model. I'm sure he's been on other test drives.

 

You're right. Nothing is IMPOSSIBLE, but this is such the exception, and the amount of women who start off as mistresses and end up as wives are so minutely small that it's not even a percentage.

 

That very well may be "never" in my mind.

 

This guy is bored. Nothing more.

 

I finished a great book a couple weeks ago.

 

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17857396-the-other-half

 

Maybe you should give it a read Jessicachoi.

[William]

OK, I am taking your post at face value and not assuming it's said to poke a stick at BWs, or some sort of creative writing exercise....

 

My answer to you is of course it bloody hurts! A man you love is treating you like a pet, a toy, a hobby. Why wouldn't it hurt? And FWIW I feel empathy for you in your situation. But you see the difference is that you chose this with your eyes wide open - you saw the ants nest and deliberately stuck your hand it it. His wife did not. And when she finds out she will hurt a great deal more. She won't feel like a princess, she will feel like a fool, an inadequate gullible fool.

 

I pity both of you.

I'll use this posting as an example of where our guidelines show their spirit and intent. All postings, and members, are to be treated publicly as authentic and with the utmost of respect no matter how much one disagrees with their opinions and/or life choices.

 

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