So , complicated fwb

[One of the Guys]

I met this guy two months ago, we went out on two dates that were awesome before hanging out at his place he told me he didn't want to date me. That we're at different places in our lives. He has many financial responsibilities that I don't have, house, vehicles.... Etc, and needs someone able to travel with him. I told him I really liked him, he said he liked me too. It was a bit awkward but we hung out the rest of the evening talking. We get along great. Even after this he'd always call almost everyday on his transit to or from work. We discussed fwb and I told him it always ends in someone hurt, I also asked if I had a different job and was more financially stable would it change things. He said it would, but asked how long he'd have to wait. Our call had to be ended abruptly before we got to hash everything out and was never concluded.

Next time we hung out we were cuddling and holding hands, there was sexual tension but he didn't do anything till I kissed him on the cheek. I knew it wasn't smart but I'm only human, it'd been a long time and I'm very attracted to him. So we started sleeping together occasionally. We'd hang out as many days a week as our schedules allowed, didn't go more than three days without seeing each other, and very rarely went a day without talking. We'd always cuddle or hold hands, touch shoulders or legs when together, often initiated by him. We only had sex usually once or twice a week, he sometimes turned down my advances.

He'd sometimes while we weren't really doing anything tell me he was just enjoying our time together, and other times ask if I was bored or enjoying just hanging out. He's told me he missed me before asking me to come over as well. We've gone out for dinner and other activities in public, even grocery shopping and 5 hours of me watching him golf. So he's shared things he enjoys with me, even taught me to dj. He took me for a ride on his motorcycle and afterwards told me it was the first time he had someone ride with him. He's also had me sleep over quite a few times.

 

At one point he asked me a hypothetical question about how I'd feel about a certain situation if we were dating. I never hid the fact that I liked him. He went on vacation for a week, I told him I wouldn't be happy if he slept with anyone while gone, as he told me a few times before I was the only person he was sleeping with(I figured this anyway, most of his spare time was spent with me).

When he got back in the country he called me, apologized for not messaging me while gone and asked if I missed him because he really missed me. After I picked him up from the airport we spent the day together till I had to leave for a family occasion, he asked when I'd be done and if I'd come back over. He brought me souvenirs, things he seemed to put thought into, a coin purse thing because I'm always rooting for stuff in my purse, and an abalone shell mask thing that looks like a skull because I like skulls. He seemed proud of the gifts, told me not to think they were super cheap either and that he looked at purses and jewelry but wasn't sure what I'd wear.

 

The next time we hung out we spent the evening laying together holding hands during a movie. Afterwards I can't recall what we were talking about but he brought up that I seemed to be getting attached. I admitted I was. He told me he only sees me as a friend and didn't mean to lead me on if he did. Says he can turn off emotions and assumed I'd do the same(again, I never hid my feelings and people telling me they turn them off screams suppression and denial to me). He said he didn't want a girlfriend, didn't have time for one and wanted to focus on other priorities as well as do what he wanted when he wants with who he wants. He asked about a few scenarios where we could still hang out, take a few weeks apart, maybe just cut out the sex. Said he really enjoys my company, I'm pretty and really fun to be around. And that he enjoys my company hanging out more than having sex with me.

The entire conversation felt like a 180 to me. I felt a few weeks in maybe he was having commitment issues because of his last relationship and wasn't expecting to meet someone like me, that he'd really get along with and enjoy being around. I felt the entire time he likely felt the same as me, all his actions felt like we were in a relationship without the actual title or commitment. It was a bit of a shock to hear him claim to feel nothing for me romantically.

So I left, not knowing if we'd see each other again, he looked a bit teared up too. I seen him at my workplace a few days later, he said hi so I did go talk to him. We discussed his Halloween costume, he was getting contacts for it. A while later he texted me a pic of him in the full outfit.

I got hormonal and texted him for a bootycall a few days later stating I knew it was stupid and he'd likely turn me down. He replied it wasn't the time, I didn't need it and eventually we could hang out again. The next day I missed a video call from him, turned out it was accidental but must mean he was looking at my profile. Our no contact isn't going well.

 

All my friends think he probably does have feelings for me but isn't admitting it, so I'm looking for opinions on the situation. I'm trying to not think of him and get over him even though I was totally falling for him. But a part of me still hopes he'll change his mind about his feelings for me. I've never hung out with anyone who was just a friend as much as we have, he'd even skip workouts... Etc to see me. It was almost always him initiating too as he had the busier schedule so I didn't want to bother him. it all seems like a lot of confusing mixed signals.

 

Forgot to mention he'd also pick at me a lot, poking randomly, making faces. Behaviour I've only encountered from guys that like who they're picking at. Also that even work nights he'd ask me over, when he'd get home after 9 and have to be up to leave for work at 5:30. Just to hold hands and watch a movie together. One of those nights telling me I looked really good, dressed nice and nice make up... Etc.

Edited October 26, 2014 by One of the Guys

[Atticus9292012]

I hate to say this, but he did tell you he didn't want to date you. You displayed to him you were willing to accept less than what you wanted and he enjoyed your company and the sex so went with it. You need to stop talking to him and move on.