GIRLFRIEND

[GARCIA]

hi you might be wondering why a bloke has joined a female community but i need advice from the females out there and i didnt know where to go:

 

the problem is that i have been seeing my girlfriend for 8months, but 2 months into the relationship i had to move to london. the relationship for the last six months has been mostly over the phone with seeing each other now and then.

 

in this space of time we have fallen in love but the problem is that she says she cant physically commit to me and so wants to break up.

 

i think that this is because we hardly ever see each other and when i hget back to uni in september the relationship will grow and she will progressively get more attracted to me and do stuff.

 

she says she cant see herself with anybody else but cant see her self doing physical stuff with me.

 

if two people are in love shouldnt they work on their problems?

 

please advise....

[Tony T]

I know you asked for the advice of females and I suspect some will happen onto this but your post has been sitting without response for about nine hours so I thought I would just briefly comment.

 

You ask if two people are in love, shouldn't they work out their problems? Absolutely...but you are only one person.

 

You need to go find a lady you can love who will love you in return. This gal is jerking you around and I sort of get the idea she's trying to get a message to you that you aren't quite yet willing to accept.

 

Hopefully, one day you will be more keen on picking up on these kinds of things. Luckily, you won't have a problem finding another lass for yourself. I lived in England for two years and found females are much more receptive and easier to meet there overall than many other places in the world.

[Miss Mojo]

hi garcia,

 

i do think that when two people are in love, they should work on things together. but sometimes some people, for whatever reason, find it hard, or aren't able to commit themselves to solving problems with their partner. some people even run from problems because they are scared.

 

do you think perhaps this long-distance relationship has somehow made her scared to physically commit? do you think perhaps she's afraid of the fact that being different countries you obviously can't physically commit? it crossed my mind that she may feel the distance between you might mean you may want to physically commit to someone else. she may even be scared the distance may cause you to grow apart over time and she may lose you, even to somebody else. maybe physical committment plays a big part in being in love for her, and she's finding it hard because everything is long distance and there is no physical contact. she probably misses you like mad and is scared of something going wrong.

 

it could be one of many things. i'm only taking wild guesses here. i think the best thing would be for you to ask her why she feels this. of course she can't physically commit right now, because of the distance. but you have a strong emotional bond. maybe she needs a lot of reassurance.

 

september is only 7 months away. it sounds like a very long time, but it will go fast. is there any chance either of you will be able to afford to visit each other during this time if you can get the time off?

 

like i said though, you should ask her what she means by this and shed some light on the issue and see if you can come to some sort of agreement on where the relationship is heading.

 

i hope this female point of view has somehow helped you, and i hope you can sort this out with your girlfriend soon.

 

good luck to you