My NC Diary (Feelings, Thoughts Etc)

[Seeker12]

I would say just befriend them, companionship is very good and the company will help you fill the time. Boombox LOL

Player is a good feeling up until you have and want to commit to one girl and when that goes wrong being a player goes out the window, because what you really wanted you couldnt have. Yup same, iv realised that i do like and want a certain type of woman.

 

Lol yup dont worry iv got one mate who im doing exactly the same to, he understands and feels for me, yup eventually youll get to a point where you just cant be bothered wasting time speaking on the topic.

 

Let your hair grow back lol i did the same and although it wasnt wrecked i dont usually look good with a fresh haircut.

 

Thats good to hear, progress is there for sure!

[riokid180]

I'm having the same issues. I'm ok for a little while. But then i find myself alone and the pain is so much i don't know how to bare it or carry on. Not that i'd ever do anything stupid, i jus don't know what to do apart from vent on here.

Everything i stood for. Being a player, not caring or putting any effort in was a front because of my last break up 4 years and i've carried on the same behaviour patterns over n over to avoid commitment. There i was 2 weeks ago ignoring her calls and avoiding going over because i too the whole thing for granted.

I thnk that must be the hardest part, wishing you could turn the clock back!

 

Man you sound exactly like me. Last relationship was 5 months. Started off super intense, I gave her the keys to my place within the first two weeks! By month 5 I was phoning it in and taking it for granted (which is basically the of all my relationships) and then one night she blew me of our Saturday night plans, didn't text me back until 2:30AM in the morning and wouldn't respond when I said "are you at home?" Next day I came over and she refused to tell me what she did, but she did say, it's over. And I was devastated even though just days before I didn't seem to care one way or the other.

[MrBossMan]

Seeker12, how have your sleeping habits been?

 

I've been 3 weeks into NC today and my sleep is still off, though I feel much better emotionally.

[Seeker12]

Seeker12, how have your sleeping habits been?

 

I've been 3 weeks into NC today and my sleep is still off, though I feel much better emotionally.

 

 

 

MrBossMan, my sleep pattern, personally, is back to normal, it kicked back surprisingly in week 2, before that it was allover the place, late nights, early mornings, something which i had no control over. But now, its a lot better to be honest.

[Seeker12]

Day 12 of NC - i think iv made good progress, today i woke up with minimal thoughts, but there still were thoughts which hung around. Stuff like whats she doing now, is she checking up on me, as far as i know, she didnt delete my number. Is she texting the other guy.

 

To be honest most of the were thoughts of the future, please note, there is a chance my ex would and could come back to me, il probably find out this month, our mutual break up was based on external factors and reasons, and not us per se, which is why shes had to go and find anther marriage prospect. But im still treating it like a break up because i need to heal, so really just overlooked these thoughts.

 

These things included what would i ask her about the marriage guy, things like how much did you talk? How intimate did you get? Etc etc but again i decided to overlook these thoughts.

 

The missing her vibe is going away again and a sense of normality is coming back, il see how i feel for the rest of the day and update, will be hitting gym later today so that should occupy some good time.

[MrBossMan]

MrBossMan, my sleep pattern, personally, is back to normal, it kicked back surprisingly in week 2, before that it was allover the place, late nights, early mornings, something which i had no control over. But now, its a lot better to be honest.

 

Interesting. I'm 3 weeks into NC and from the first day up until today, I haven't been sleeping at night. When I do, I keep waking up. I've even been having some vivid dreams and remembering them when I rarely remember my dreams. I once had a dream where a dog was trying to open a glass door and get to me and then when I looked away and looked back, it became a lion. (weird, I know)

 

Here's a link to my NC diary. You inspired me to make it: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/499982-nc-diary-possible-bpd-exgf-3-wks

Edited November 2, 2014 by MrBossMan

[lemonsugar]

Hope you are feeling better Day 4 for me I feel better than I did. Started writing a diary and the recurring thing is that i keep writing I deserve better. I am slowly getting there just hope he respects me and leaves me alone

[Seeker12]

Interesting. I'm 3 weeks into NC and from the first day up until today, I haven't been sleeping at night. When I do, I keep waking up. I've even been having some vivid dreams and remembering them when I rarely remember my dreams. I once had a dream where a dog was trying to open a glass door and get to me and then when I looked away and looked back, it became a lion. (weird, I know)

 

Here's a link to my NC diary. You inspired me to make it: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/499982-nc-diary-possible-bpd-exgf-3-wks

 

Wow seriously bossman, i dont know, i think with me, i started university, so a routine and structure was automatically in place, no matter what i did id have to follow that or id literally be physically exhausted, plus emotionally i recovered very well within the first week. Thats your subconcious creeping in, just helping you mentally recover in your sleep. Trust me, iv had dreams of my ex where everythings fine, everything is as we planned it to be in the future, we are back to discussing marriage etc. so dont worry its all natural, just make sure you are following through with nc, stamping out any obsession and getting out there.

[Seeker12]

Hope you are feeling better Day 4 for me I feel better than I did. Started writing a diary and the recurring thing is that i keep writing I deserve better. I am slowly getting there just hope he respects me and leaves me alone

 

Lemonsugar, i sure am feeling a lot better and happier about myself, today i hit the gym for a good one and a half to 2 hrs, then i went on to buy something from town. Started talking to the cute shop assistant who was serving me, she was either being nice to me, or flirting with me, i didnt really care lol. Found out shes 2 years older than me, and we just had a full convo at the till lol, after that, i asked her for her number she kind of refused saying she cant and she doesnt remember it, ever the optimist i politely asked can i leave her my number after which she said yes gave me a paper and pen, and i told her to call me.

 

The point isnt the fact that i dropped a girl my number, the point is, im feeling more confident, better, my social skills are getting stronger, and im finding girls attractive again.

[jackinthebox1]

Sleeping pills are good. I have been taking a ton of them. Nothing more lonely than being awake at night with your thoughts.

Get some decent sleeping pill n knock yourself out.

[Seeker12]

Sleeping pills are good. I have been taking a ton of them. Nothing more lonely than being awake at night with your thoughts.

Get some decent sleeping pill n knock yourself out.

 

Either that or do something, watch a movie, a series or read, occupy yourself, thats so important.

[lemonsugar]

Lemonsugar, i sure am feeling a lot better and happier about myself, today i hit the gym for a good one and a half to 2 hrs, then i went on to buy something from town. Started talking to the cute shop assistant who was serving me, she was either being nice to me, or flirting with me, i didnt really care lol. Found out shes 2 years older than me, and we just had a full convo at the till lol, after that, i asked her for her number she kind of refused saying she cant and she doesnt remember it, ever the optimist i politely asked can i leave her my number after which she said yes gave me a paper and pen, and i told her to call me.

 

The point isnt the fact that i dropped a girl my number, the point is, im feeling more confident, better, my social skills are getting stronger, and im finding girls attractive again.

 

Thats a great step forward. It is getting better for me ive had a quite weekend and feel better for it. I decided to write down a daily diary and its surprising how much it helps Think first day i can honestly say I dont want him to contact me again before i kept saying it but thinking fingers crossed he does. Now its like i deserve better and good luck to who ever ends up with you.

[Seeker12]

Thats a great step forward. It is getting better for me ive had a quite weekend and feel better for it. I decided to write down a daily diary and its surprising how much it helps Think first day i can honestly say I dont want him to contact me again before i kept saying it but thinking fingers crossed he does. Now its like i deserve better and good luck to who ever ends up with you.

 

Really good to hear lemonsugar hope you have had an active weekend! i tried to edit my original post but i couldnt and lost all my content. Your in day 4, early days but dont worry things will get easier and go forward from here. Diaries are amazing, they really have helped me put down my emotions and carry forward, everything on my mind just delivered and forgotten about. You do deserve better we all do, its just about finding that person! I was in the same situation, i literally craved my ex, until i realised it was hurting me even more, and i told my ex you cant do this, you cant randomly contact me, commit to me or dont, sorry. Set your standards if he contacts you, if he means what he says, he will come back 100%. You have to be firm now, you have to be in control.

[lemonsugar]

Really good to hear lemonsugar hope you have had an active weekend! i tried to edit my original post but i couldnt and lost all my content. Your in day 4, early days but dont worry things will get easier and go forward from here. Diaries are amazing, they really have helped me put down my emotions and carry forward, everything on my mind just delivered and forgotten about. You do deserve better we all do, its just about finding that person! I was in the same situation, i literally craved my ex, until i realised it was hurting me even more, and i told my ex you cant do this, you cant randomly contact me, commit to me or dont, sorry. Set your standards if he contacts you, if he means what he says, he will come back 100%. You have to be firm now, you have to be in control.

 

Ii dont think I could ever take him back. He wasnt there when I really needed him after id been sick enough to have crash call in hospital a month ago. We had had an argument and his response was your actions have consequences. I should have ended it then but havent felt well enough and he did it for me on Sunday. I cried i said id rather no split up but I accept it. He has left me alone since thursday when he said I may have made a mistake at the moment i think I am right but if I come back you can tell me to get lost. I was like my answer will always be get lost im done im out of this I deserve better. Fingers crossed he stays away for a few weeks so I can get my head straight and say jog on boy. I take it your ex has also gone quite

[jackinthebox1]

Read this article lemonsugar

Unfriend Your Ex (Especially If You Want Him Back)

 

Being a male i can honestly say we will always come back sniffing around at some point, we just do. It might be 6 months it might be a year. But you want to 1. Handle it perfectly when they do and 2) Focus on getting over it by then so u can look non emotionally at the situation.

 

Good luck and check the article, its great

[Seeker12]

Thanks for that JITB, thats so important, my ex literally was my best friend before we hooked up and during we hooked up! Issue is my ex might be getting married lol culturally its like that, like i said, her family are very cultural.

[lemonsugar]

Read this article lemonsugar

Unfriend Your Ex (Especially If You Want Him Back)

 

Being a male i can honestly say we will always come back sniffing around at some point, we just do. It might be 6 months it might be a year. But you want to 1. Handle it perfectly when they do and 2) Focus on getting over it by then so u can look non emotionally at the situation.

 

Good luck and check the article, its great

 

That made me smile, thank you. I contacted a guy i use to work with and we always said if we were both single we would give it a try. So in a couple of weeks will grab a drink. I hope he doesnt come back. I did manage it once he called 3 times I didnt answer and never heard from him again. Rest always say how are you i miss you. Its like yes jog on this door is closed!

[tikay00]

Had a very strong urge to call or text her today. Rode it out, and now I'm glad I did.

 

Trust me guys. The urge is strong, but if you use your will power, it goes away eventually. Just remember that. The urge to contact doesn't last the whole day, and reading threads helps like no other for me.

[lemonsugar]

Had a very strong urge to call or text her today. Rode it out, and now I'm glad I did.

 

Trust me guys. The urge is strong, but if you use your will power, it goes away eventually. Just remember that. The urge to contact doesn't last the whole day, and reading threads helps like no other for me.

Well done it does go away in the end! Its like a mini support group for when your friends go please stop talking about it !

[Seeker12]

Day 12 of NC, you can say Day 13 as we are just past 12am here in the UK. Anyway such an eventful day! Really full of happiness except for a few lingering thoughts of my ex, im happy, full of happiness, and looking very positive.

 

Hit the gym for a few hrs, socialised with family, had a flirt and gave a girl my number, she aint texted me at all lol but i dont care, i feel properly confident, and probably did it just for the thrill of it. Went out afterwards to a gathering then to my sisters house. A really nice full day full of people and doing things which i enjoy!

 

Had thoughts of my ex, nothing negative, just how shes doing, how good a best friend she was to me, and how beautiful she is, nothing which will pull me towards contacting her again though!

 

Finally, had some family secrets spilled to me by my sister, supposedly my family were 100% happy with my ex and that they would have loved to have her as part of the family, it was just her family which were the problem, i guess thats how life is perhaps!

Edited November 3, 2014 by Seeker12

[jackinthebox1]

Out of interest has she contacted you at all in that NC period?

[Seeker12]

JITB, i tried to go NC with her MULTIPLE times beforehand, telling her its not doing me good etc etc, but she would always still text, leave me a message,or text after 2 days, which would always break the NC, meaning id always respond because she means alot to me.

 

This proper NC is like the 20th time lol, but has obviously been for the past 12 days, full, without any contact from her side, i think thats because i said to her, one, i cant be friends or anything with her, and two, if she wants friends etc. she needs to commit to me. I told her she knows what i want so shouldnt doubt my intentions for her.

 

NOTE: This isnt your usual break up, it was more or less a mutual break up due to familial issues.

Edited November 3, 2014 by Seeker12

[jackinthebox1]

So she hasn't gone thru the break up then.

What would she text you? Normal stuff or things about missing you etc?

[Seeker12]

So she hasn't gone thru the break up then.

What would she text you? Normal stuff or things about missing you etc?

 

Gone through the break up meaning? She would text me normal stuff and we would just chat as we usually do, about the past, about us, have a laugh and fun, although she didnt say she misses me, i could tell she does, especially when she was randomly messaging me at 4am in the morning, speaking about meeting up (which didnt happen), we both dont drink by the way.

[tikay00]

Well done it does go away in the end! Its like a mini support group for when your friends go please stop talking about it !

 

Exactly, but then the urge comes back a few hours later lol.

 

You just gotta ride those urges, and then the next hour you say to yourself, "thank God I didn't call or text". Rinse and repeat. Been like this for the past 4 days.

 

Been resiting the urge so much. First week was a breeze, because you just talked to your ex, and feel like, "OK, we talked, she'll call again." Then it's been a few more days, and you're like, "I hope she didn't fully move on!"

 

Aren't relationships, and break ups so fun???