Author Seeker12 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Share Posted November 5, 2014 Did u see my post on the other thread dude? Wish you had waited a few days before that text but well done for being non commital. L Yup i did see it mate, possibly would have been best to wait but now its over and done with the balls out my court. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Share Posted November 5, 2014 (edited) Day 15 of NC - for those hardcore NCers this well would schedule Day 1 allover again for me, i think i should really restart to be honest. REMEMBER: NC is for your own healing, its not to get your ex back. ANYWAY... My ex got in contact, surprise surprise. If you read up youll understand what she said and what i replied, i gave her my condolences and that if she needs help well she can ask. She just said right now, all i can do is pray for her family. The initial text gave my heart a jump, but then i just felt nothing, no sense of neediness no nothing, no emotion, we chatted for abit, she really doesnt know where things are headed. She finally found a full time job and hopes i find a job too, she said she doesnt know what the future holds, and is well leaving it to God, but that i shouldnt hope for me and her, to which i said im not hoping and that i never said i was hoping, thats it, said our goodbyes again, and left it at that. Me personally? My days been fine, thoughts of her? Hardly any at all through the day! Is she coming off her pedestal in my head? I think so. Am i seeing her more as a friend? Slowly but surely, is my emotional connection with her breaking? Yes i know for sure it is. Do i wish to get back with her? There is no wish, if its offered to me il consider it and try make it work, if not then so be it. Il give you an example of my perspective of me and her, we are the type going to see different people, but if we are single we will try hook up and make it work. We both know we can be good to eachother, but circumstances meaning family, dont allow it. Its just ease, i feel a lot of ease, maybe il be sucker punched again very soon, il hit a downer, but this time im confident il get through the day. Edited November 5, 2014 by Seeker12 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Share Posted November 6, 2014 (edited) Day 2 of my new NC (Day 16 originally) - im feeling fine, its the early hours of my new NC period, although im tired, some realisation is again coming of the reality of the situation (already been past this stage), ie this girl has gone, its not enough to tip me off completely, its just an acknowledgement, i know its happening/happened. Edited November 6, 2014 by Seeker12 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Share Posted November 6, 2014 Day 2 of my new NC - iv had an eventful day, hardly thought of my ex, but when i did it was very sombre, just thinking of her appearance, qualities and how good she was, shes a good girl no shadow of a doubt, just somehow managed to get stuck in the wrong family. I know i have to move on, no hope no nothing, and thats what im going to prepare myself for. On the other hand iv been doing some charity and raising awareness, was able to meet and speak to a lot of people, mostly girls, but also guys, in terms of socialising its been brilliant, made some new mates as well! Slightly attracted to a girl whose also taking part in the charity, not sure how to approach it, as those in the charity have a strict no hook up rule so it doesnt mess up the intention and focus of the charity. So, so far so good! Do i miss my ex? Yes i do, can i move forward and find someone else? Yes i can! Im feeling me, im feeling independent, strong and happy, but what i also need to feel is my direction in life, refocus my purpose. Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Day 8 in 1.5 hours for me! Had an eventful day eneded up in ane with an allergic reaction. It puts things in perspective id never go back to him now. Whats done is done. Hopefully you still feel strong 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Share Posted November 6, 2014 Day 8 in 1.5 hours for me! Had an eventful day eneded up in ane with an allergic reaction. It puts things in perspective id never go back to him now. Whats done is done. Hopefully you still feel strong Wow thats seriously good to hear about your progression, youre sounding happier and more relieved, i hope that allergic reaction doesnt get the better of you! What was it a reaction too??? Yup im feeling good, the days getting better, as long as my ex stays out of my life, and i dont see her, my heart wont hurt. Remember it wasnt our fault why things happened, so itll only bring pain knowing right now shes someone i cant have. Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 peanuts ambulance and resus. Think its a sign his no good for me. When you feel so unwell it puts things in perspective i got through that il get through anything. Seems like we are bothh moving on quickly Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Share Posted November 6, 2014 (edited) peanuts ambulance and resus. Think its a sign his no good for me. When you feel so unwell it puts things in perspective i got through that il get through anything. Seems like we are bothh moving on quickly Wow are you from the UK? I hope you get better and recover well! Possibly, dont dwell on it, make yourself happy and carry on forward, he is a figment of the past! Trust me, i felt really unwell in the first week,and then i thought im not doing this to myself anymore. Yup!! Now thats a really good sign for sure!! Edited November 6, 2014 by Seeker12 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 7, 2014 Author Share Posted November 7, 2014 Day 3 of new NC - I am seriously feeling good, normal and confident, the thoughts of my ex are positive thoughts and just passing thoughts, its like reminiscing over good times i guess. Iv come to understand and accept the situation as it is and as it happened, out of both our control. Will see how the rest of the day goes and then il report back. Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Day 8 its harder today i think its because im off work sick and recovering It is also making my resolve greater as last time i had thi reaction he refused to be there for me. So maybe this is what I needed to realise he isnt the guy for me. Hopefully its on wards and upwards for everyone here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 7, 2014 Author Share Posted November 7, 2014 Day 8 its harder today i think its because im off work sick and recovering It is also making my resolve greater as last time i had thi reaction he refused to be there for me. So maybe this is what I needed to realise he isnt the guy for me. Hopefully its on wards and upwards for everyone here. Yup most likely, iv realised going out, socialising and doing things has helped me progress alot, and given me a massive confidence boost, in myself etc and helped me deal with the issues. For sure, your independence grows! What, cant believe he refused to be there for you when you were in the same position before, definitely an indicator!! Anyway, Day 3 Carried On - I woke up after having a weird dream, now im sure you all know the situation with my ex so i wont regurgitate that, but in the dream she admitted to emotionally cheating on me, she looked a hella lot different as well, i woke up shrugged it off and carried on. Then, bam, hit with thoughts of all the good times! But it didnt get me down at all! The weathers really bad, was meant to head out, but at this rate think il be stuck inside! Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Yup most likely, iv realised going out, socialising and doing things has helped me progress alot, and given me a massive confidence boost, in myself etc and helped me deal with the issues. For sure, your independence grows! What, cant believe he refused to be there for you when you were in the same position before, definitely an indicator!! Anyway, Day 3 Carried On - I woke up after having a weird dream, now im sure you all know the situation with my ex so i wont regurgitate that, but in the dream she admitted to emotionally cheating on me, she looked a hella lot different as well, i woke up shrugged it off and carried on. Then, bam, hit with thoughts of all the good times! But it didnt get me down at all! The weathers really bad, was meant to head out, but at this rate think il be stuck inside! Yeh ists making the break up easier than it should be. I havent heard from him since i last text him and left the door open! That is your subconscious getting through the situation You're moving on slowly but surely Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 7, 2014 Author Share Posted November 7, 2014 Seems like you deserved a helluva lot better!! Well thats his choice, but 8 days in, again its a clear sign for you about his thinking, there may be the offchance he comes back, but dont depend on it!! Yup i know, unfortunately id rather not have these dreams, mainly because i know its not her fault hence i shouldnt blame her and think bad of her, its just the way life panned out and we both have to walk away. Yup i definitely feel like iv moved on a whole lot, emotionally aswell, on top of that, the way i see the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Seems like you deserved a helluva lot better!! Well thats his choice, but 8 days in, again its a clear sign for you about his thinking, there may be the offchance he comes back, but dont depend on it!! Yup i know, unfortunately id rather not have these dreams, mainly because i know its not her fault hence i shouldnt blame her and think bad of her, its just the way life panned out and we both have to walk away. Yup i definitely feel like iv moved on a whole lot, emotionally aswell, on top of that, the way i see the situation. I dont think he will come back i hope not most of the time. He blamed me having anaphyalxis and having a go because he wouldnt turn up on the reason he didnt want to be in a relationship. He then started to back track saying he could be back saying his made a mistake and then I can tell him to f off. He also said he wasnt sure breaking up was the correct decision. Ive never known a guy to say that ever o well. Sometimes it best to walk away with your head held high and say we tried everything and our paths just arent the same Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 7, 2014 Author Share Posted November 7, 2014 I dont think he will come back i hope not most of the time. He blamed me having anaphyalxis and having a go because he wouldnt turn up on the reason he didnt want to be in a relationship. He then started to back track saying he could be back saying his made a mistake and then I can tell him to f off. He also said he wasnt sure breaking up was the correct decision. Ive never known a guy to say that ever o well. Sometimes it best to walk away with your head held high and say we tried everything and our paths just arent the same Keep that mindset, he is out, and he isnt coming back, and you wont have him back, simple, itll help you get stronger. Thats a weird reason to not be in a relationship, especially with someone who you like. But then sounds like he is starting to feel it too, the emotions are starting to kick in. Keep your dignity and honour, seems like this guys all jumpy and doesnt know what he wants, he cant live with you, but seems like he cant do without you! Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 I dont know why you start off with i want to break up then start going i may be back begging for you to take me back. I was like who says that then he said the same via text within a week. Not sure why. I said if you want to talk in person i will other than that im done. Havent heard from him since :s who knows who cares any more. Rather be at work than sat watching tv over analysing things!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 7, 2014 Author Share Posted November 7, 2014 (edited) I dont know why you start off with i want to break up then start going i may be back begging for you to take me back. I was like who says that then he said the same via text within a week. Not sure why. I said if you want to talk in person i will other than that im done. Havent heard from him since :s who knows who cares any more. Rather be at work than sat watching tv over analysing things!!! Lol interesting, but i guess emotions and seperation as well as attachment changes a person. Leave it, dont mull over it, carry on with you and your life, exactly stay active, way better then racking your brains thinking what your ex has said and misinterpreting the whole thing! Day 3 Final Post - Living my life without this girl, thats where the realisation has come to, do i miss her, less than before, do i want to move forward and meet other people, for sure i feel ready and want to! Iv hit the acceptance stage, i know whats going on, i accept it, id change it for the world as she isnt the one to blame, but i cant right now, so be it, i have to live my life!! Just realised, iv hardly had any thoughts of her allday today, iv hit the gym, gone out, but whats helped me, which wont help others, is the fact that she isnt the one to blame, but the situation dictates that i walk away . Edited November 8, 2014 by Seeker12 Link to post Share on other sites
jackinthebox1 Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Why is she not the one to blame? Even with family issues I can't see how she can't put you first and take the plunge. Sounds like u are making excuses for her bro Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 8, 2014 Author Share Posted November 8, 2014 Why is she not the one to blame? Even with family issues I can't see how she can't put you first and take the plunge. Sounds like u are making excuses for her bro Her family situation is very complicated, parents are very cultural, and when they say no, well its a no. The plunge has already been tried before, not by her, and that didnt go too well, like seriously not well at all. So she knows how her parents are and how they will handle the matter. Her parents arent willing to accept me, although they know about me and im not bad they know that, that just says it all really, if we tried to push for anything itll literally just make everything worse we both knew that. Meaning the only way we could possibly be together, is for her to leave everything she knows, run away, or fight an emotional, uncertain battle with her family, and creating emotional trauma for me, her and also my family. Hence the mutual break up. I might be making excuses for her, or im just looking at it from an objective viewpoint, remember taking the plunge isnt as easy as going for it, if we took the plunge, it would have had to be something extreme, sometimes you need to know when to walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Lol interesting, but i guess emotions and seperation as well as attachment changes a person. Leave it, dont mull over it, carry on with you and your life, exactly stay active, way better then racking your brains thinking what your ex has said and misinterpreting the whole thing! Day 3 Final Post - Living my life without this girl, thats where the realisation has come to, do i miss her, less than before, do i want to move forward and meet other people, for sure i feel ready and want to! Iv hit the acceptance stage, i know whats going on, i accept it, id change it for the world as she isnt the one to blame, but i cant right now, so be it, i have to live my life!! Just realised, iv hardly had any thoughts of her allday today, iv hit the gym, gone out, but whats helped me, which wont help others, is the fact that she isnt the one to blame, but the situation dictates that i walk away . It sounds like you are healing fairly quickly. He said this stuff because he wants control. I have given up hoping to hear from him because I wont he will be on that Ii never hear from again i hope onwardsx upwards Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 8, 2014 Author Share Posted November 8, 2014 It sounds like you are healing fairly quickly. He said this stuff because he wants control. I have given up hoping to hear from him because I wont he will be on that Ii never hear from again i hope onwardsx upwards I think so, maybe too quickly? Im just preparing myself for the next hit, which is knowing that shes going to marry someone else, if it happens, remember we both dont wish to be in relationships anymore, we are strictly on the marriage track, whether thats together or separately. So still a while to go, but progress is there for sure, perhaps one day in the future, 2-3 years down the line, we can revert to being friends again. But im feeling better and stronger and happier, and more accepting of whats happened. Its so important you maintain control, for your own sanity! Yup just dont expect him to contact you, think of him as gone and forgotten. Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 I think so, maybe too quickly? Im just preparing myself for the next hit, which is knowing that shes going to marry someone else, if it happens, remember we both dont wish to be in relationships anymore, we are strictly on the marriage track, whether thats together or separately. So still a while to go, but progress is there for sure, perhaps one day in the future, 2-3 years down the line, we can revert to being friends again. But im feeling better and stronger and happier, and more accepting of whats happened. Its so important you maintain control, for your own sanity! Yup just dont expect him to contact you, think of him as gone and forgotten. You sound so mature its good uou will find the right person for you. I will not lose my dignity i left the door open its up to him but his a ghost to me now Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 8, 2014 Author Share Posted November 8, 2014 You sound so mature its good uou will find the right person for you. I will not lose my dignity i left the door open its up to him but his a ghost to me now Appreciate it, faith has a lot to do with it, as well as confidence, dont let it fool you, i do have my ups and downs, and i have mentioned that i do miss my ex, not as potently as before, but still. As long as you defined the boundary, you cant force him, but neither get hung up waiting for him either! He has to be out of your life, and you need to believe that, once you do, youll move forward. Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Appreciate it, faith has a lot to do with it, as well as confidence, dont let it fool you, i do have my ups and downs, and i have mentioned that i do miss my ex, not as potently as before, but still. As long as you defined the boundary, you cant force him, but neither get hung up waiting for him either! He has to be out of your life, and you need to believe that, once you do, youll move forward. Im proud havent spoken to him in 9 days but he has left me be. Its like a ghost now. We all have our ups and downs just know there is someone better Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 8, 2014 Author Share Posted November 8, 2014 Im proud havent spoken to him in 9 days but he has left me be. Its like a ghost now. We all have our ups and downs just know there is someone better Yup you should be, its a really great achievement! 9 days is a damn long time from someone you were initially inseperable with!! Something of the past, im guessing that chapter for you is done!! All we have to do is just live our life, and wait for that person to walk in your 100% percent right, there is someone always better! Link to post Share on other sites
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