lemonsugar Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Yup you should be, its a really great achievement! 9 days is a damn long time from someone you were initially inseperable with!! Something of the past, im guessing that chapter for you is done!! All we have to do is just live our life, and wait for that person to walk in your 100% percent right, there is someone always better! I hope it is done a short chapter in a long book!!! If he tried to walk back in he would bump into the door that has closed and been locked! It does get easier over time. Wish I could go out tonight but need to rest Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 8, 2014 Author Share Posted November 8, 2014 I hope it is done a short chapter in a long book!!! If he tried to walk back in he would bump into the door that has closed and been locked! It does get easier over time. Wish I could go out tonight but need to rest Lol trust me, when we both look back at this time in our lives we will realise just how short the chapter is!!! Haha well done im very proud of you and how confident and strong you are being, its an attractive attribute in a lady!! Time heals us all definitely. Yup id love to go out, but dont know what people are doing, and im tied up for abit so would only go out like late late! Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Lol trust me, when we both look back at this time in our lives we will realise just how short the chapter is!!! Haha well done im very proud of you and how confident and strong you are being, its an attractive attribute in a lady!! Time heals us all definitely. Yup id love to go out, but dont know what people are doing, and im tied up for abit so would only go out like late late! I cant go out too shattered just resting up. I dont feel like im coping well at points. Still over analyse things but saying to yourself they are never coming back makes it easier! Also think not hearing from them is a blessing! Hopefully your ex is leaving you be as well Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 8, 2014 Author Share Posted November 8, 2014 I cant go out too shattered just resting up. I dont feel like im coping well at points. Still over analyse things but saying to yourself they are never coming back makes it easier! Also think not hearing from them is a blessing! Hopefully your ex is leaving you be as well Why is that? Work, or is it just getting through the mental effects of your ex/relationship? Dont worry sooner or later youll stabilise, trust me, you suffer a physical chemical imbalance in your body. Hey iv done that, little nudges and comments and things, just go NC and forget about him! Yup i think its Day 3 since i broke NC when she contacted me, it was mutual, no hard feelings, i do miss her, but im getting there now, and she respects my position, and obviously we both understand the situation as it is! Hey, things happen Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Why is that? Work, or is it just getting through the mental effects of your ex/relationship? Dont worry sooner or later youll stabilise, trust me, you suffer a physical chemical imbalance in your body. Hey iv done that, little nudges and comments and things, just go NC and forget about him! Yup i think its Day 3 since i broke NC when she contacted me, it was mutual, no hard feelings, i do miss her, but im getting there now, and she respects my position, and obviously we both understand the situation as it is! Hey, things happen Mines because i spent thursday in hospital including resus so trying to get my body better 2 reactions in a month is killer . One door closes another opens for you :)Things get better quicker than you think they will. The day it happens it feels like the pain never goes away. I think NC is the best way to heal its like your limbs hanging off so you get rid of it for once if you keep contatcs its like using a plaster to keep it attached while it starts to die. At first you think NC they may come back now its like no i dont want them back im healing so leave me be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 8, 2014 Author Share Posted November 8, 2014 Mines because i spent thursday in hospital including resus so trying to get my body better 2 reactions in a month is killer . One door closes another opens for you :)Things get better quicker than you think they will. The day it happens it feels like the pain never goes away. I think NC is the best way to heal its like your limbs hanging off so you get rid of it for once if you keep contatcs its like using a plaster to keep it attached while it starts to die. At first you think NC they may come back now its like no i dont want them back im healing so leave me be. Yup you did say, so your still recovering from that wow! all the best and a speedy recovery! It really is that, amazing how that happens aswell, that another door opens and makes life easier again! Yup the day it happens it feels like the longest day in the world, and you cant imagine living a week forget another year, everything just seems so drawn out. Lol very vivid way of describing it haha for sure NC allows the human body and brain to cope by cutting off the addiction. Always, i think most people think NC will get their ex back, but then eventually as they grow, their perception changes. Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Yup you did say, so your still recovering from that wow! all the best and a speedy recovery! It really is that, amazing how that happens aswell, that another door opens and makes life easier again! Yup the day it happens it feels like the longest day in the world, and you cant imagine living a week forget another year, everything just seems so drawn out. Lol very vivid way of describing it haha for sure NC allows the human body and brain to cope by cutting off the addiction. Always, i think most people think NC will get their ex back, but then eventually as they grow, their perception changes. NC isnt about getting your ex back its about moving on with your life. If they come back chances are you wouldnt take them back! Its also about having some dignity which is nice! Nno one likes people blowing up their phones! I think some exs do come back after NC but too late to make ammends. It does get easier though Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 8, 2014 Author Share Posted November 8, 2014 NC isnt about getting your ex back its about moving on with your life. If they come back chances are you wouldnt take them back! Its also about having some dignity which is nice! Nno one likes people blowing up their phones! I think some exs do come back after NC but too late to make ammends. It does get easier though Yup you got it on the nail, NC is about you and your healing, even going out and finding someone new tospend time with. Thats the point you want to get to, that if they do come back, you are able to look at the situation and say, okay am i ready to do this again. Lol dignity and honour honestly, going through a breakup your happy to lose it all, but looking back, makes you feel so stupid lol! Yup iv heard of exes doing exactly that, but the person had already moved on! Life becomes livable! Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Yup you got it on the nail, NC is about you and your healing, even going out and finding someone new tospend time with. Thats the point you want to get to, that if they do come back, you are able to look at the situation and say, okay am i ready to do this again. Lol dignity and honour honestly, going through a breakup your happy to lose it all, but looking back, makes you feel so stupid lol! Yup iv heard of exes doing exactly that, but the person had already moved on! Life becomes livable! Yep the crying the dont leave me we have all done it. Looked back and thought i shiuld have said jog on. NC is also about taking control back think a lot of dumpers are shocked when their ex disappears as it shows moving on even if you are in pieces inside Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 8, 2014 Author Share Posted November 8, 2014 Yep the crying the dont leave me we have all done it. Looked back and thought i shiuld have said jog on. NC is also about taking control back think a lot of dumpers are shocked when their ex disappears as it shows moving on even if you are in pieces inside Went through all of that, you fear the separation and you feel the complete loss, that this person is going, and you literally do anything and everything, and think some of the craziest thoughts! Lol youre strong you are, control is so important, being at your exes beck and call, especially after a break up is so damaging to self esteem and confidence, but you feel its the only way youll get them! But once you are in control you level the playing field and it becomes about you, instead of him, or us. Yup some dumpers dont want to see their ex move on, its a very selfish mentality and attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 Went through all of that, you fear the separation and you feel the complete loss, that this person is going, and you literally do anything and everything, and think some of the craziest thoughts! Lol youre strong you are, control is so important, being at your exes beck and call, especially after a break up is so damaging to self esteem and confidence, but you feel its the only way youll get them! But once you are in control you level the playing field and it becomes about you, instead of him, or us. Yup some dumpers dont want to see their ex move on, its a very selfish mentality and attitude. Hit the nail on the head. You feel like if you plead cry scream cry they may think again. Actually thats even more of reason why they wont. I may not be so strong if i hear from him but i doubt i will. I just hope this is the last break up i have to go through You do sound like you are getting through this well but its very up and down for everyone Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 8, 2014 Author Share Posted November 8, 2014 (edited) Hit the nail on the head. You feel like if you plead cry scream cry they may think again. Actually thats even more of reason why they wont. I may not be so strong if i hear from him but i doubt i will. I just hope this is the last break up i have to go through You do sound like you are getting through this well but its very up and down for everyone Exactly that, that maybe itll jolt something in their heart and they will reconsider, but they dont, pushes them away. Im the same, if my ex gets in touch im used to it now, but im also very used to NC, but if i see her, i know itll hurt, i just need to be ready if it happens. Tell me about it, looking at girls and their characters more carefully then ever before lol its not a nice thing to go through and/or do. Im in the same boat as you, sense of relief and happiness, with some naggings here and there, definitely up and down, but im in a position where i have to move on aswell, i dont have a choice. Edited November 8, 2014 by Seeker12 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 9, 2014 Author Share Posted November 9, 2014 My NC Diary, new NC End of Day 3/Beginning of Day 4 - I think iv just found my worst day of the week for now, saturdays, they are empty, bland and boring, too much time and nothing to do, sometimes i wish that saturday would go fast. Now for those following my diary, you would have seen very upbeat, up tempo posts, and hey i stick to it all, its all been true, but trust me, you get hit sometimes, and today was another hit. I felt lonely honestly i did, and i missed my ex the most, shes been on my mind most of the day, random thoughts about her, nothing to be specific about. I cried, honestly, this was after i watched a movie, its called The Kingdom. Basically americans on arab soil tracking arab terrorists. One of the arab police officers was helping the americans, he was loyal, did an awesome job, was a best friend. At the end of the mission and getting the hostage back, its a sense of peace and calm, they head into a room to see a family and a little girl they scared. The arab officer spots an old man, and realises he is the head of the terrorist group you can say. Soon enough a teenage boy comes out, clearly brainwashed and shoots the arab officer 2 times in the neck. He falls, the americans usher around him, jamie fox, cradles him in his arms. The arab officer didnt have to die, he didnt have to go away, the relationship was perfect, but cruelly he was stripped away from life by his own kind. Thats what got to me, and thats what made me cry, thats what resonated the most, that his own kind, who should have recognised his happiness and achievements, were the ones to slam the door in his face. Ive seriously had brilliant days, honestly, but saturday night indoors felt different. Oh well, im still learning, still getting used to the independence, still living life as a single guy!! Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 My NC Diary, new NC End of Day 3/Beginning of Day 4 - I think iv just found my worst day of the week for now, saturdays, they are empty, bland and boring, too much time and nothing to do, sometimes i wish that saturday would go fast. Now for those following my diary, you would have seen very upbeat, up tempo posts, and hey i stick to it all, its all been true, but trust me, you get hit sometimes, and today was another hit. I felt lonely honestly i did, and i missed my ex the most, shes been on my mind most of the day, random thoughts about her, nothing to be specific about. I cried, honestly, this was after i watched a movie, its called The Kingdom. Basically americans on arab soil tracking arab terrorists. One of the arab police officers was helping the americans, he was loyal, did an awesome job, was a best friend. At the end of the mission and getting the hostage back, its a sense of peace and calm, they head into a room to see a family and a little girl they scared. The arab officer spots an old man, and realises he is the head of the terrorist group you can say. Soon enough a teenage boy comes out, clearly brainwashed and shoots the arab officer 2 times in the neck. He falls, the americans usher around him, jamie fox, cradles him in his arms. The arab officer didnt have to die, he didnt have to go away, the relationship was perfect, but cruelly he was stripped away from life by his own kind. Thats what got to me, and thats what made me cry, thats what resonated the most, that his own kind, who should have recognised his happiness and achievements, were the ones to slam the door in his face. Ive seriously had brilliant days, honestly, but saturday night indoors felt different. Oh well, im still learning, still getting used to the independence, still living life as a single guy!! I feel the same this morning its so up and down. Looking at your phone and no text. Day 10 double figures only can get better Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 9, 2014 Author Share Posted November 9, 2014 I feel the same this morning its so up and down. Looking at your phone and no text. Day 10 double figures only can get better i hope your day gets better day 10 of NC im pretty sure your on the road to recovery! im feeling seriously alot better, like a worlds difference better! Yup gone are the times where we were glued to our phones chatting to our ex now our phones are just silent. Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 i hope your day gets better day 10 of NC im pretty sure your on the road to recovery! im feeling seriously alot better, like a worlds difference better! Yup gone are the times where we were glued to our phones chatting to our ex now our phones are just silent. Think its because its double figures so i know he wont ever come back. Which hurts today but tbh is so for the best It feels like im taking a step back probably because I am run down! Actually want to go to work rather than being at home! Link to post Share on other sites
jackinthebox1 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Weekends are rubbish. Ive been doing the same. I dont know why but i've been glued to my phone as well. I went out last night and it was full of idiots, and thats when you start to realise how lonely the dating world is. On the plus side though, they have it exactly the same. Going to bars and being surrounded by losers, having whole days by themselves to think about us too and seeing as we are NC, imagining that we are out there living it up and getting over it. We are all sticking NC so doing the right thing and can rest easy in that knowledge Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Weekends are rubbish. Ive been doing the same. I dont know why but i've been glued to my phone as well. I went out last night and it was full of idiots, and thats when you start to realise how lonely the dating world is. On the plus side though, they have it exactly the same. Going to bars and being surrounded by losers, having whole days by themselves to think about us too and seeing as we are NC, imagining that we are out there living it up and getting over it. We are all sticking NC so doing the right thing and can rest easy in that knowledge It is true we are being stronger by using silence. Im lucky so far he hasnt tried to contact me so havent been tempted to break it! I am fairly stubborn and like a challenge Just the next few weeks will be hard but it can only get better Link to post Share on other sites
jackinthebox1 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Iv been broke up 11 days. I had a text after 3 days and a missed call 4 days ago. Still think about wether i should have answered the call but i just can't do it, the threat of more pain is too risky. Ignoring them both sends out a strong signal that you break up with me, you are out of my life. No relegation to friendship thanks Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Iv been broke up 11 days. I had a text after 3 days and a missed call 4 days ago. Still think about wether i should have answered the call but i just can't do it, the threat of more pain is too risky. Ignoring them both sends out a strong signal that you break up with me, you are out of my life. No relegation to friendship thanks Broke up 14 days ago had a few text first few days. Went back with if you want to talk about us in person I will if not please leave me alone. Havent heard since and am on day 10 Silence says a lot more than giving them a piece of your mind Link to post Share on other sites
jackinthebox1 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Yea, i havent said anything hurtful through the whole process. Those things will always come back to haunt you and just show that you are hurting. Silence is the best way. And they do always come back at some point, men especially. At which point you'll be well over it Link to post Share on other sites
lemonsugar Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Honestly i dont want him in my life at all. He didnt turn up when I needed him in hospital and blamed that weekend on the whole break up. I literally was like are you kidding me that is your excuse. He then said the whole this may be a mistake the whole break up and i may come back to you and then you can tell me to f off. Honestly i think im past the point of caring. Plus his too proud to admit he is wrong on anything his last ex smashed his car up so should have taken that as a warning. What we all have to remember is that we all deserve better than what they have done. Also keeping dignity is the key by saying i dont care anymore even when inside you are dying Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker12 Posted November 10, 2014 Author Share Posted November 10, 2014 New Diary Entry, it would generally be the Day 4 if not 5 of my new NC but todays a manic one - Seems like the exs marriage plans with the other guy have fallen through, they both have said bye to eachother, and well as you can expect, shes in a pretty dark, emotional and vulnerable place right now and yesterday she turned to me for help and support. Yesterday we had a long chat by text, about life, marriage and everything, and today well we met up for a good few hours and carried on with our conversation. It was mutual, there were no hard feelings, there were tense moments, moments of sadness etc. between us, but no hatred no nothing. Shes very emotionally unstable, and goes from wanting to try again for me and her, to thinking her mums going to say no, so she says she doesnt think itll work. Emotionally it hasnt rocked me, but helped me realise how bad her situation is, when i was explaining things to her yes i did get teary, but not enough to cry, it was the same situation from her. Really confused myself about what the next step will be, she really wants to get married, but seems her mum just blocks the way, what advice i can give her, im not sure either. Link to post Share on other sites
jackinthebox1 Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 So you're back to Day 1 basically. Fair play, there's nothing wrong with sticking with it but if she won't commit you have to try and work out how long you will do that as you are in no way getting over her Link to post Share on other sites
metaversus Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 This thread is so inspiring. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here Seeker. I am currently in day 4 of nc (posted about it here) https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/501187-nc-very-recent-ex-boyfriend Please keep sharing. I love the idea of a nc diary. Link to post Share on other sites
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