cowboy way Posted March 12, 2005 Share Posted March 12, 2005 Ok here we go. I was dating this girl age 30 I am 38 for about 2.5 years. We seemed to hit it off right away. We had our share of ups and downs over the course of time, but we seemed to work through them. We did split at the 1 year mark based on her false assumptions, so we agreed to communicate better. The next 1.5 years were for the most part really good. We talked about marriage and both said we would do what it takes to have successful relationship. We broke up in the end of August for a little background info. Ok here is where it get's confusing for me. In the May-June timeframe. She told me she had never been in such a healthy relationship, we looked at engagement rings and she was on cloud nine. We did however have a couple of bad months End of June-Aug. Mostly the stress on my part due to my new job assignment and my father being in a deep depression ( no abuse or anything, just more arguements then usual). Her parents came up in August to visit. Which was when I was going to ask their permission to marry her, which I didn't due to the two months prior of us not getting along. When when they left they told her that I should have been there for her at the airport for support. Now normally I would have gone, but I had a very nice party for them the night before and was up late cleaning up, and their plane was leaving at 6am. We she called and told me this I was pretty angry. seeing while her parents were in town, my mother had knee surgury and my ex didn't even call to see how she made out. A couple of days after her birthday which was at the end of August we broke up. I said lets talk about things and try to work things out. She wanted nothing to do with it she said she needed time apart which I agreed to, but she didn't specify an amount of time. I called her about 4 days later to see if she wanted to get together and talk, and thats when the explosion hit. She said she did not miss me at all, not to bother her at work, She was unhappy for months, and she wanted to break up but didn't have the balls. Ok I am stunned she said all those things, Yet she always said she loved me more then I loved her, We always said I love you to each other, The healty relationship thing, she was even talking future plans two day before the break up. Has anyone gone though somthing like this, that can explain what happend?? Link to post Share on other sites
Donut Posted March 12, 2005 Share Posted March 12, 2005 I went thru exactly the same thing, xbf professing how much he loved me even on the day of the break up! I contacted him after but was just ignored. I can't know what was going on in his mind short of the fact he didn't want to be with me for the long run. Now 6 months on I'm still having bad days but I recognise that I had to let him go, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me, whatever his reasons. You must find closure for yourself (self help books, counselling) and practice no contact. Sucks I know, but it's the only way. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted March 12, 2005 Share Posted March 12, 2005 She sounds very selfish and immature, and is obviously very upset about something. Is she going to let her parents make her decisions for her? If so, you're better off without her, considering it will only get worse in the future. My advice is to let her have her time alone. Respect her wishes and don't call. Right now you're playing into her hands, so back off and let her realize how much she misses you. Use a little bit of reverse psychology to catch her off guard (I suspect her family is telling her to be tough on you as you try to reconcile, and she's following their advice to a tee). Sooner or later she's going to realize she made a mistake, but let her find out on her own. Don't try to analyze it... just take it for what it is and move on with your life. You'll hear from her soon enough, when she realizes there's a void in her life, and that she was wrong to let mommy and daddy have their way. Link to post Share on other sites
prayformydownfall Posted March 12, 2005 Share Posted March 12, 2005 dont hang round waiting for someone so immature!!! god i have just got out of a 2 year relationship where the ex followed her mom and dad's advice to a tee and guess what, they r gettin divorced now!! some advice!! u cant live in a relationship with someone constantly stickin their noses in, i mean who r u havin a relationship with? her or her family!!! move on and see what happens, leave her totally alone and let her see she has to grow up, if she don't u got out lucky, some poor sucker wont! PFMD Link to post Share on other sites
Author cowboy way Posted March 13, 2005 Author Share Posted March 13, 2005 Yeah I did see the signs of immaturity, but failed to react seeing I thought she would grow with th relationship. The sad part is that I chased her. I found out that shortly like weeks after our breakup she was seeing someone else. I confronted her outside of her work, with some pretty harsh remarks. I asked her to return the gifts that my family gave her before we broke up. Seeing that it was only two days after her Birthday that we broke up, and she probably had someone new already picked out so why would she even take them. She didn't even have the class to send my parents a card or call to say thank you for all they did for her over the 2.5 years which burns me up because the treated her like a daughter. She reacted by calling the cops on me. I did go to counsiling and even the coulselor told me she had some serious issues. He suggested that I send a letter which I did in Christmas card and accept all the blame for the break up and see what reaction I would get. The reaction was a call from the cops again. I guess I am just stunned That I spent 2.5 years with this person and that's how I got treated. I know I wasn't the best boyfriend in the world, but I sure wasn't the worst by far. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 13, 2005 Share Posted March 13, 2005 Originally posted by cowboy way She said she did not miss me at all, not to bother her at work, She was unhappy for months, and she wanted to break up but didn't have the balls. Ok I am stunned she said all those things, Yet she always said she loved me more then I loved her, We always said I love you to each other, The healty relationship thing, she was even talking future plans two day before the break up. Has anyone gone though somthing like this, that can explain what happend?? this is a very common scenario COWBOY_WAY. good riddance, I say. find yourself another woman that will treat u right. Link to post Share on other sites
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