Blade96 Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 (edited) I look forward to seeing your success LDR stories in LS!! I hope I have one in the future to share! Even if it years in the future. I really do adore him. Maybe tell your guy how you feel sometimes Confess to him and suggest what you'd like him to do or not do that will help you, if he is serious about you he will do some of the stuff hell, he'll want to help Edited October 30, 2014 by Blade96 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Sorry to poop on your parade, but LDR are 20% reality and 80% fantasy. When you lack real life physical contact, your imagination fills in that void and blows it out of proportion. When it comes time to meet, they may not be what you imagined and vise vera. So it is best NOT to invest your heart and soul into someone you have not met yet. LDRs are more intense because of the unknow, so it's best to come back down to earth and face the realities of LDRs as everyone has pointed out in this thread. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Blade96 Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 (edited) Sorry to poop on your parade, but LDR are 20% reality and 80% fantasy. When you lack real life physical contact, your imagination fills in that void and blows it out of proportion. When it comes time to meet, they may not be what you imagined and vise vera. So it is best NOT to invest your heart and soul into someone you have not met yet. LDRs are more intense because of the unknow, so it's best to come back down to earth and face the realities of LDRs as everyone has pointed out in this thread. You're not pooping on anything, you're just saying the truth. I hope mine (and hers) wind up a success story but like you and others said the odds are against us, not in favor. Even if our guys are nice guys odds are against us for example money immigration and everything, they could meet someone else, even after we have met they could still meet someone else (as happened to a friend of mine years ago) as I said my Mr Belarus is more confident everything will work out than I am. His head's definitely in the clouds instead of in belarus. Even if it doesn't work out, it's a lovely little relationship and I learn a lot so even if it doesn't work I'll have no regrets Edited October 30, 2014 by Blade96 Link to post Share on other sites
Thegreatestthing Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I am in the same situation with my bf long distance etc,except I was the one still logging into dating sites maybe only twice a week ,last night he saw me on and was very very upset and told me off and asked me to delete it,I really didn't want to delete I think I just like getting messages etc,but today I thought about losing him and how it upset and hurt him and immediately deleted it. You just need to ask him to delete it and if he values your relationship and you enough he will. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 I am in the same situation with my bf long distance etc,except I was the one still logging into dating sites maybe only twice a week ,last night he saw me on and was very very upset and told me off and asked me to delete it,I really didn't want to delete I think I just like getting messages etc,but today I thought about losing him and how it upset and hurt him and immediately deleted it. You just need to ask him to delete it and if he values your relationship and you enough he will. It's a matter of setting up boundaries, and expressing each other's expectations. This applies to any kind of relationship. You should never "assume" anything, you must communicate or there will be trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
MrBossMan Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 It's not real until you meet... LDR's are very sensitive situations. You should be honest with yourself and ask yourself some serious questions about how you go about managing your love life and what you really need. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mariekatie Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 Sorry to poop on your parade, but LDR are 20% reality and 80% fantasy. When you lack real life physical contact, your imagination fills in that void and blows it out of proportion. When it comes time to meet, they may not be what you imagined and vise vera. So it is best NOT to invest your heart and soul into someone you have not met yet. LDRs are more intense because of the unknow, so it's best to come back down to earth and face the realities of LDRs as everyone has pointed out in this thread. I totally understand where you're coming from. I've been in LDR before and i know how it works. It is true that we tend to mix up fantasy and reality. But i'm cautious and i want to meet him first before deciding on anything! So our main priority is to meet first. I appreciate your advice and i'll take note of all the points that people have been listing out! P.s Sometimes i think i'm not physically attracted to my ex but rather the fantasy of him. So it's still early to say. I can be naive at times, but thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mariekatie Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 It's not real until you meet... LDR's are very sensitive situations. You should be honest with yourself and ask yourself some serious questions about how you go about managing your love life and what you really need. I get it! There's a reason why everyone says "it's not real until you meet" and i'm taking note of that! It is indeed complicated but i'm a person who plans far ahead and even if i fail, i take it as an experience to improve on myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mariekatie Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 I am in the same situation with my bf long distance etc,except I was the one still logging into dating sites maybe only twice a week ,last night he saw me on and was very very upset and told me off and asked me to delete it,I really didn't want to delete I think I just like getting messages etc,but today I thought about losing him and how it upset and hurt him and immediately deleted it. You just need to ask him to delete it and if he values your relationship and you enough he will. Thanks for giving me advice from another POV. I understand why he did this now and he had already deleted everything for me. In the beginning i did it too, i just like receiving messages but i don't reply to any. When we started dating seriously and "assumed" that we are exclusive, i deleted them. But well, i've learnt a lesson from this situation. Everyone have fears, just that they deal with it in a different way. Link to post Share on other sites
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