XenoMouse Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Hey all, about a year ago i came to LS as a single OM who was very much down about my situation with an exMW who had decided it was time to end the A. I got some very good advice here and began moving forward. I got a new amazing job and an amazing girlfriend that is reminding me of what is like to actually be in a real relationship. However, thoughts of the A and some fond looking back as well as some of the gaping wounds still persisted. Although they have mostly healed it still hurts but know if i just keep moving forward i'll be ok. I have not contacted her in anyway, i have not contacted any of her friends, although she unblocked me from facebook i don't look up her profile. Though emotionally i am lagging at least physically and mentally im attempting to keep chugging forward. I know it might be nothing but a month ago her best friend and once a mutual friend came out of the blue to invite me to a party that my exAP would be at without her H. I shook it off, denied the invite and kept moving. Yesterday i put up some pics on my facebook and she liked them all, including some with my gf in it. This thru me for a loop. Whyyy would she do this??? she knows that a lot of people i know have helped me struggle thru recovery and would see this. she knows my gf would see this. there is the chance that her H would see it...it doesn't make any sense. I've read on other forums that just googling exOMs by WWs has been considered a serious breach of NC. But this is a step further. She is the one who ended it and in order to recover i have stayed away from everything completely but this has me feeling like she is not doing the same. Does anybody have any thoughts on why she would make such a move? what its all about? it just seems so strange. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Is your exMW on your facebook friends list? It's time block her! How is it possible she's able to 'like' your personal pics, unless you have your settings friends of friends can comment/like on your page. Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Stop overthinking it and block Her. Maybe she means well but obviously, it isn't good for you. You need to block her. Link to post Share on other sites
herself Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 SHE broke NC you didnt. And out of celebration for your new gf, the people that helped you recover and your new life....block her and be done forever. That was selfish of her and probably a nudge for you to contact her so she can reject you as you rejected her party invite. She should have no business looking at your page she is no longer part of your life THIS time by YOUR choosing! Great job. Ignore. Block. Now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author XenoMouse Posted October 27, 2014 Author Share Posted October 27, 2014 She is not on my friends list. I took some pics with a mutual friend of ours from way back so it appeared on her page as well. The mutual and I have always hung out and tagged and joked with each other over fb pre and post A and exMW has never commented or liked any of it or anything the mutual has ever posted either....until now. As the A was over I completely gave exMW all the space that she requested and tha was required for both of us to move on. It feels like she has cut thru all of that and i have no idea what she wants or why she would make such a drastic move. My phone has been lighting up with people asking me whats going on and wanting to confront her. Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Hey all, about a year ago i came to LS as a single OM who was very much down about my situation with an exMW who had decided it was time to end the A. I got some very good advice here and began moving forward. I got a new amazing job and an amazing girlfriend that is reminding me of what is like to actually be in a real relationship. However, thoughts of the A and some fond looking back as well as some of the gaping wounds still persisted. Although they have mostly healed it still hurts but know if i just keep moving forward i'll be ok. I have not contacted her in anyway, i have not contacted any of her friends, although she unblocked me from facebook i don't look up her profile. Though emotionally i am lagging at least physically and mentally im attempting to keep chugging forward. I know it might be nothing but a month ago her best friend and once a mutual friend came out of the blue to invite me to a party that my exAP would be at without her H. I shook it off, denied the invite and kept moving. Yesterday i put up some pics on my facebook and she liked them all, including some with my gf in it. This thru me for a loop. Whyyy would she do this??? she knows that a lot of people i know have helped me struggle thru recovery and would see this. she knows my gf would see this. there is the chance that her H would see it...it doesn't make any sense. I've read on other forums that just googling exOMs by WWs has been considered a serious breach of NC. But this is a step further. She is the one who ended it and in order to recover i have stayed away from everything completely but this has me feeling like she is not doing the same. Does anybody have any thoughts on why she would make such a move? what its all about? it just seems so strange. The correct response to your questions is "Who cares. It doesn't matter." Perhaps she's trying to reignite the affair. Who cares. You need to stop obsessing about the situation and her and focus on what YOU need to take care of yourself. Do you remember how crappy you felt when you want to claw your way out? Block her and continue your healing or you will never get better. Unless she comes to you with divorce papers in hand, you have no reason to talk to her. Any contact you make with her harms the both of you. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I may not be in the best state of mind to post, but here goes. There could be a number of reasons she is doing what she is doing, but honestly does it matter? You have a wonderful girlfriend, giving this MW much thought will take away from that wonderful girlfriend, and there are very few positives that can come from it. Be the man your mother would be proud of, move forward with your relationship. Someone told me the other day "don't focus on what yesterday took from you, focus on what tomorrow will bring" Leave it alone, block her and focus on the new (available) woman in your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 NC means absolutely nothing to do with her personally or via social media. How come she is still a FB friend and have you been looking at her too? You have come a very long way. Please do not start looking backwards. Poppy Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 P.S Don't discuss her with friends and others. You know how people love to gossip and meddle. Be above it all and know that it makes no difference why she might be doing it. It has no relevance to your future. She has broken the NC rule but you don't have to. P 1 Link to post Share on other sites
adna89 Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 She is selfish and wants some ego boost,she thinks now you will be all exited and contact her in hope she wants you back 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KeepCalmCarryOn Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 She probably just wants your attention and it is really good that you are not giving it to her. I would just keep chugging along if I were you, I am sure it is rough but you have a gf who you love and there you go. Link to post Share on other sites
RickFox Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Just block her, if you don't then you keep the door open and you will give in only to find more pain waiting Link to post Share on other sites
Author XenoMouse Posted October 27, 2014 Author Share Posted October 27, 2014 i know i should have the who cares? attitude...and i do..but its like 50/50 right now. i think its just because when the whole thing was said and done i was talked down to so much. of course by her but by others as well (even though they meant well) like i was the only one in the situation that was crazy. I know at the end she had changed completely and become a very mean and condescending person who went out of her way to make it seem like i was the only one who was emotionally involved and that she was so above me. Thats why when she does things like this it causes me to turn and question, maybe she's not the all in control person she made herself to be, maybe its difficult for her to move on from what we felt as well, or maybe she's just as purposely decisive and manipulative as every one has told me she is. Either way i love my new girl and would never go back to that situation. I guess because exAP presented me with a plethora of personalities from friend, to lover, to being in crazy love - to angry, bitter, intensely mean (and not to end the A but just mean), and now strange and confusing i just have this desire to know, even tho it shouldn't matter, who was this person??? and im pretty sure i know why she pulled this very bold move and broke NC. its simply because she can. Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 The more you care about it, the more you hurt your GF. Just let it go man. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author XenoMouse Posted October 28, 2014 Author Share Posted October 28, 2014 done and done...thanks everybody Link to post Share on other sites
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