hello234 Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 HEY MOM- I am curious, Most of the posts here have been by helpless OW who seem to have been cheated or deserted by the MOM, and feeling terrible, sad, depressed about it I am wondering about the feelings of the Married Other men. How do you guys feel when an affair with the OW has to end?? Do u feel as depressed and sad as us??? or is it really true that men don't get emotionally attached and deal better? As for the MOM I am dealing with, he is emotional, says he gets anxiety attacks If he doesn't see me, or have me in his life, etc.. says that he is depressed, sad etc..Keeps coming back to me even if I say don't contact me.. seems like he has no ego and it attracts me more..So from the point of a MOM.. is this all just a charade? or is it just that he must be after sex? Or do guys truly also feel as depressed as ladies? Link to post Share on other sites
mintcondition Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 I was not the married other man but a single man just going to pound town on a married woman. And yes, whenever she needed a break or put me in a protracted no-contact status it was disappointing because of the lack of sex and affection. I wouldn't ascribe my state of mind as depressed or anxious; more like a temporary "down and out" feeling. This woman is very attractive with a clean and uppity appearance but she was a freak in bed. She is going through a divorce now but I decided to back off, and so has she. This woman was the epitome of selfishness and passive aggressive all in one. She would make time for me at her convenience but was cold as ice whenever I needed a bit of talk time. By virtue of the fact that it was "all about her", my feelings and attraction for her started to diminish because I don't do well with depersonalized borderline sociopaths. I feel more depressed and anxious when I think about her poor husband who she played for a fool all these years........I really do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hello234 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Share Posted October 28, 2014 So basically, mintcondition, You didn't have any feelings for her, she was just like a fun time pass for u when u were bored? No love, nothing? and ur sadness was actually just disappointment that you couldn't have sex? Link to post Share on other sites
Be_Strong Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 hello, Let me add a little something about guys in general. There will always be some separation anxiety with a guy when it comes to ending a relationship with a woman, whether he really likes her or not. It's that feeling of fear and loss you get when you're about to lose something that causes a guy to try to hang on. Kind of like a kid with a toy that he never plays with or likes, but when his parent goes to toss it out, all of a sudden the kid feels a strong connection to that toy and cries and doesn't want to lose it. I've experienced this first hand with women in my life. It's easy for a guy to confuse this separation anxiety as legitimate feelings for a woman. That leads to an unhealthy rebounding back and forth cycle. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hello234 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Share Posted October 28, 2014 then if the above is true, why should women need to invest so much..if u ask me, these "guys" need to be treated with lowest respect as possible Link to post Share on other sites
mintcondition Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 So basically, mintcondition, You didn't have any feelings for her, she was just like a fun time pass for u when u were bored? No love, nothing? and ur sadness was actually just disappointment that you couldn't have sex? No, that's not what I said. It started out with great sex which progressed into relationship but my feelings for her changed when I realized how selfish she was, so it became more of a sexual thing again. Married people who have protracted affairs do it because of the thrill, sex, stress relief, excitement, filling a void, etc., but when you break it down they're not really all that much into their partners. The moment you show too much emotion you'll remind them of the spouse they're trying to forget about. The AP is just part of a mosaic that encompasses the complicated soul of a WS. Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 then if the above is true, why should women need to invest so much..if u ask me, these "guys" need to be treated with lowest respect as possible You're no different then he is. Why not focus on you and what made you cheat on your husband. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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