Million.to.1 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 So thoughts....is she just crazy?? No. She is not crazy. I'm sorry she gave you the run around, but hurt people, hurt people. I think her letter was honest. There is no easy way to say what she did and she doesn't see a future with you. I'm sorry, I know it's not what you wanted and that hurts. Time to move on now for good. You seem like a nice guy and will find a woman that wants the sort of relationship you want too. Link to post Share on other sites
Light Breeze Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 So thoughts....is she just crazy?? That's irrelevant now. She made her choice loud and clear. At least she didn't leave you hanging asking whys and what ifs. Sorry brother, I hope you find someone who'll really fight to be with you. Stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 I just hate to give up on something. When we are together and dating....things are wonderful. But she just can't communicate. Even if she got cold feet or I said something that upset her...why can't you be an adult and communicate that? Seems easy, right? Just going cold turkey is ridiculous and childish for a 34 year old woman. What goes through a person's mind who plays these games? That is all I want to know and why this time, what did I do or what caused this. Whatever is going on in her mind, she just keeps hurting you. That's not acceptable behaviour. You deserve better. Don't let her play around like this. There is something wrong with this woman if she is prepared to do this over and over. I think you need to stop making excuses for her. If she has trust issues, they are too much for you to deal with and they hurt you. I would not give her another chance but make it clear I'm moving on now. She's blown it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 So here is her response to my email asking her what was wrong: I did have a great Christmas, and I hope you did as well. I am sure your uninterrupted weekend with the kids was nice. As usual, you know me well and were right. I'm not sure what happened, but something was just off on Tuesday for me. I don't know if it was just a combination of me over stressed about the holidays or because I was getting sick, but something changed. I didn't like the way I acted on Tuesday and our chemistry seemed off. We were both sarcastic with each other. It was not one specific comment or thing- it was just a combination of little things that made me realize I needed to step back and really think. I spent the weekend relaxing and just spending time with (her son) and thinking about things. While I realized we have a great connection and have fun hanging out together - there is just something off. While I have fun together and there is no denying we have feelings for each other, I just don't see us together long term. Maybe it is the age difference, but I feel like we are on two different paths. While we both can set that aside and have fun together a night or two a week, the reality is we each have different lives the rest of the week. I feel like what I am looking for in a future spouse and what you are are different. Some of it maybe just the timing, I realized on Saturday that that was the first time since beginning of November that I had time to myself. I need that time to get things done - but the hard part with my schedule the way it is is that is also the only time I can go out. I feel like in the past week of seeing each other Thursday, Sunday and Tuesday and the countless texts outlining what we are each doing at every moment might have just smothered me. I realize that that is what "normal" people do, but as we know my life is not normal. I know I am too independent, and I realize that more now than ever. I also have realized that the only time I can get anything done is my day off because (her son) is such a bad sleeper this past month or two. I just need to be selfish and focus on me and him for the next several months with this surgery coming up. I don't want to take time away from him for a relationship that I don't see lasting long term. I really think you are a great guy, but I know I can not give you the time and attention you want and deserve out of a relationship. I know that I reached back out to you months ago and I honestly thought I could, but something just isn't right for me and I have to acknowledge that. I have prayed a lot about it and will continue to try to figure it out. I know I will continue to think of you often and will miss the great times together. Please do not hate me, I really do not want to hurt you. XXXX So thoughts....is she just crazy?? No, she's just not that into you. She likes you as a person, but doesn't feel enough of a pull to be in a romantic relationship with you. It's time for you to accept that and stop trying to find a combination to unlock the safe. I mean, she pretty much closed the loop there. Time to let this thing go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ohiosportsguy Posted December 31, 2014 Author Share Posted December 31, 2014 Okay folks...so I have not said a word to her, I get this last night after running into her brother and sister in law (who is her BEST friend) at a sporting event. We talked briefly, but not about any of this: As always, thoughts appreciated! Hi, I don't expect you to reply..or possibly even read this.....but I just wanted to apologize. I feel horrible. I heard you ran into XXX and XXX at the Globetrotters. They said it was really good. Hope XXX (my daughter who performed at halftime) did well. I am sure you were a proud dad. I am sorry that when I'm stressed my natural reaction is to push people away. I realize that is a huge fault of mine. You are an amazing dad and an amazing person. Please know that it is me and not you. Just thinking about you and missing you. XXX Link to post Share on other sites
Ajax Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 Okay folks...so I have not said a word to her, I get this last night after running into her brother and sister in law (who is her BEST friend) at a sporting event. We talked briefly, but not about any of this: As always, thoughts appreciated! Hi, I don't expect you to reply..or possibly even read this.....but I just wanted to apologize. I feel horrible. I heard you ran into XXX and XXX at the Globetrotters. They said it was really good. Hope XXX (my daughter who performed at halftime) did well. I am sure you were a proud dad. I am sorry that when I'm stressed my natural reaction is to push people away. I realize that is a huge fault of mine. You are an amazing dad and an amazing person. Please know that it is me and not you. Just thinking about you and missing you. XXX I just read your thread. I think that as most people going through a broken heart do (including myself) your over analyzing this. She made her intentions clear in her email to you. More than that, she made her intentions even more clear by her repeated actions over the past few months. Her message seems more of a breadcrumb to sooth her guilt than anything of any true significance. You need to break out of the cycle. Don't respond. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 I'm on board with what Ajax mentioned. How many times have you been on and off since meeting this woman? Half a dozen within a 9 month period? Each time she was the one to push you away? Hug the cactus and let this one go. At least leave her alone until she gets her head on straight. I honestly think she's still dealing with her failed marriage and hasn't taken the time to let that sink in and settle. You may have a future with her, but she needs to deal with her demons first. Sucks, but that's the way it needs to be or else you'll continue wasting time with this push-pull BS. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 Okay folks...so I have not said a word to her, I get this last night after running into her brother and sister in law (who is her BEST friend) at a sporting event. We talked briefly, but not about any of this: As always, thoughts appreciated! Hi, I don't expect you to reply..or possibly even read this.....but I just wanted to apologize. I feel horrible. I heard you ran into XXX and XXX at the Globetrotters. They said it was really good. Hope XXX (my daughter who performed at halftime) did well. I am sure you were a proud dad. I am sorry that when I'm stressed my natural reaction is to push people away. I realize that is a huge fault of mine. You are an amazing dad and an amazing person. Please know that it is me and not you. Just thinking about you and missing you. XXX That was basically a long way of delivering the cliche' "It's not you, it's me" method of justifying a breakup. Means nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
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