She likes me back, but doesn't want to admit it. What do I do?

[Jerry17]

So for almost a year, I have gotten close with a girl who we can call Amy. She says she doesn't like me, but everyone else that knows us says she does. We live nearby and I'm a senior and she's a sophomore. We used to talk almost everyday. She gave signals that she likes me all the time. We stopped talking a few times because of he say/she say stuff, but we kind of dropped that. After more people and even her own sister told me that the girl likes me, she told me she didn't like me like that, but that she wanted to be friends. So I accepted being friends. As we stayed friends, in a few months, we began having deep conversations about our lives. She had a boyfriend who she was with for almost a year. He made her angry a lot, but she continued to stay with him because she loves him. And I felt she treated others, especially her bf, better than me. She even went MIA during some of Christmas break. I ending up realizing I had fallen in love with her and b/c I was jealous, I tried to make her jealous Now previously, I've told her how I have to defend her whenever my friends say something bad about her. They even told me that she is bisexual, but I didn't believe it. So when we finally started back talking during the break, I told her that I didn't know what to do because my friends don't want me involved with her. She got mad at me and we stopped talking. And while I was trying to send it someone else, I accidentally sent her a screenshot of our messages. I didn't do it to hurt her or lose her trust. I did it because I needed help as I was kind of confused on why she got mad in the first place.

 

After that, I left her alone for almost a month until my birthday. I tried to talk to her but she told me to just move on. I told her to have a nice life and she did the same. But we still talked at least once every month after that, where I mostly initiated conversations. On her birthday, everyone told her happy birthday. When I turned, a guy had hugged her but she was looking at me the whole time. I don't know why though. I ended up messaging her and I wished her a happy birthday and everything seemed to go good, but she stopped responding back.

 

Eventually we sort of became friends again and I told her how I feel about everything and how I tried to make her jealous. She told me she doesn't like me like that. I told her I accept that. We had a short convo, but we stopped. After a few more tries of trying to talk to Amy, I just stopped and realized I will never regain her trust. After seeing that she is happy and with someone, I finally unfollowed her on Instagram and blocked her on Kik because it was hard for me to handle anymore. But a few weeks later, I followed her again and unblocked her. Within a minute, she accepted and followed me too. I've unfollowed and re-followed her a few times before so I didn't think she would do it again. Weeks later, she and her sister gave me a rating on Instagram. Amy's rate was just a simple number while her sister gave a number and even said hey. I was mad that my rating was different from everyone else's when their rates had more to it than a simple number. When we returned to school from summer break, I planned on talking to her but I couldn't because we were already late. I was mad that day because my classes were all very challenging and I had no classes nor lunch with her. Later, I ended up breaking down because of all the stress. But the next day, I felt a little better. Though, it rained that day and the buses were running late. She was nowhere to be seen. When the bus finally got there, her sister and her friends didn't even go looking for her. I wanted to search for her, but I contemplated hard about it. I felt like she wouldn't do the same for me because I've missed the bus numerous times. She eventually made it to the bus but the bus driver made it seem like he was going to pass by her. She was looking very sad. And I felt really bad for her. But when she got on the bus, she started talking about her current or ex boyfriend. I just didn't like how almost every relationship she was committed in, they would break up soon. I feel that she deserves the best and I want her to be happy.

 

Now here's when it gets really complicated. Soon enough, thanks to my close friend, let's call her Dina, is friends with Amy, I found out Amy does have feelings for me. But she's confused about our situation herself. She told my friend that she regrets how she treated me and that she cares about me. But my friend told me that Amy is wishy-washy about me because one day, she likes me and another day she doesn't like me. I also found out that another one of Amy and I's mutual friends hooked her up with another dude and now they go out. When our situation first started, that friend tried to get us together but she stopped trying. I sort of feel betrayed that she got Amy another boyfriend. And it's because Amy's friends don't want us together. They even want her to go back to her abusive boyfriend. I also discovered that Amy is in fact bisexual and likes my close friend. I'm not happy about it and my close friend believes Amy would cheat on me if we get together. I really do love Amy and I have fallen in love with her and I really want to be a part of her life. But it seems like mostly everyone doesn't want us together and Amy won't tell me how she feels herself.

[preraph]

If she liked you "like that," she'd have been with you by now. She's had plenty of opportunity. She has told you twice she likes you only as a friend. So she misses you as a friend at times, but she would miss her girlfriends as well if they clammed up. You simply can't make any more of it than it is. Girls that age are always going to gossip and talk and they mostly don't know what they're talking about. You can't take what that friend says seriously. She is being stupid and betraying her even talking to you about it. Obviously, this girl has boyfriends so she's not too shy to just be with you if she wanted to. She doesn't like you that way. If you can't be happy just being friends, and I doubt you can, you need to block her again and not miss out on other girl opportunities.

[Polak]

She has had so many chances to choose you, and yet look where the situation is... Personally, it sounds like there was a bunch of drama involved in your story, so I'll get to the point: based on what you've said she sounds like a waste of time and very confused, so the sooner you let go of her and realize that, the happier I think you'll be. At this point I think she is starting to accumulate some baggage anyway.

[Jerry17]

If she liked you "like that," she'd have been with you by now. She's had plenty of opportunity. She has told you twice she likes you only as a friend. So she misses you as a friend at times, but she would miss her girlfriends as well if they clammed up. You simply can't make any more of it than it is. Girls that age are always going to gossip and talk and they mostly don't know what they're talking about. You can't take what that friend says seriously. She is being stupid and betraying her even talking to you about it. Obviously, this girl has boyfriends so she's not too shy to just be with you if she wanted to. She doesn't like you that way. If you can't be happy just being friends, and I doubt you can, you need to block her again and not miss out on other girl opportunities.

 

I actually can be happy just being friends, but it's just the way she treats me is different than her other friends. My friend told me that it's because its hard for Amy to express her emotions to me.

 

She has had so many chances to choose you, and yet look where the situation is... Personally, it sounds like there was a bunch of drama involved in your story, so I'll get to the point: based on what you've said she sounds like a waste of time and very confused, so the sooner you let go of her and realize that, the happier I think you'll be. At this point I think she is starting to accumulate some baggage anyway.

 

She's had a lot of chances which makes me angry that she won't tell me how she feels because of her friends who don't even have her best interest at heart.

Edited November 1, 2014 by Jerry17

[preraph]

Just because friends told you it's hard for her to express her emotions doesn't mean she like likes you. It could just mean she doesn't want to be blunt and tell you she's not attracted to you and doesn't like you that way. You can't pay attention to what her friends are saying. She's told you outright. You keep going back hoping for more, and she's told you no already and is trying to avoid hurting your feelings because she just likes you only as a friend. I think whatever friend is talking about her can't be trusted anyway and has some reason she's telling you things. Maybe she's the one who likes you for more than a friend even.

[Jerry17]

Just because friends told you it's hard for her to express her emotions doesn't mean she like likes you. It could just mean she doesn't want to be blunt and tell you she's not attracted to you and doesn't like you that way. You can't pay attention to what her friends are saying. She's told you outright. You keep going back hoping for more, and she's told you no already and is trying to avoid hurting your feelings because she just likes you only as a friend. I think whatever friend is talking about her can't be trusted anyway and has some reason she's telling you things. Maybe she's the one who likes you for more than a friend even.

 

I actually heard one of their conversations one day and they were talking about me. Dina and I were on the phone and Amy called her. Dina accidentally added me to the conversation, and told me to hang up. But I thought she had hung up so I had already walked away from my phone. When I came back and I got back on my phone, I heard Amy say she likes me, but doesn't want her friends to be mad at her. I quickly hung up though. So, I know that Dina wasn't lying to me and that Amy does like me.

[preraph]

Saying she likes you doesn't mean she likes you for more than a friend! And why would her friends be mad? Please. If one of them has a crush on you and that's what she meant, that's who you should be pursuing.

[Jerry17]

Saying she likes you doesn't mean she likes you for more than a friend! And why would her friends be mad? Please. If one of them has a crush on you and that's what she meant, that's who you should be pursuing.

 

For some reason, her friends don't like me. I've always had the feeling that they don't, but I thought I was being paranoid. The other mutual friend that set up Amy with her new boyfriend actually told me that Amy's friends don't like me too. That was when the friend and I was close. But I know Amy likes me. From what Dina told me and what I had heard on the phone, it all makes sense. Whenever I say Amy doesn't like me romantically, most of our mutual friends always smile and say something like "I don't know about that...". And I'm the only one who didn't know about it all until Dina finally told me.