greenman77 Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Hey guys so I decided to make a little experiment because I have always been curious at how different the experience of a girl compared to that of a guy's on OkCupid. So I created a fake profile of a girl using pictures of a friend (with her permission of course). Filled up the profile info and uploaded the pictures and left the account up for 36 hours just to see how much attention it would get. The fake profile was that of a 20 year old girl. My friend is a brunette and fairly attractive. I just wanted to see how many likes, messages and profiles views it would get. The results were staggering! In the first 36 hours the profile received 233 likes (6 likes per hour), 354 profile views (10 views per hour), and 35 messages (a new message every hour!). Don't know about you guys but I am amazed by these stats. No wonder so many girls on OkCupid don't bother answering back at so many messages. Imagine if you are one of those girls that only logs into OkCupid every few days. Every time you do you will be flooded by hundreds of messages. It's insane! Everytime I used to send a message to a girl and I didn't even get a profile view back from them I would be kind of put off but now I completely understand when it doesn't happen. And some of the messages received were absolutely disgusting and shocking. Anyways I hope this gives guys an idea of what the experience of girls on OkCupid is and how completely different it is to guys. Thought it would be fun to post the results here. I would love to hear about the experience of other girl's on this forum that use OkCupid to see if the results match with them. So go ahead! Tell me about YOUR experience. Is it similar? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Well done for contributing the the number of fake profiles, and making guys even more mad that they aren't getting a response. Your "experiment" is part of the problem. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 An experiment conducted many times, always with the same results. All it says to me is that if women hope to find anything meaningful and legitimate on any online dating site, they have to go seek out profiles themselves, rather than relying on the right person finding them. I'm sure there have been countless potentially great relationships that have fallen through the cracks because she had so many messages that she became jaded by the whole process. Send messages ladies. You have nothing to lose. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Thanks for sharing. But this experiment has already been done. Both fake male and female profiles. Both using attractive people. It's been done on here on LS (one by Mr Nate I believe), and covered by the media. What you did has been proved with facts and statistics. If you are attractive, you will be bombarded with mostly asinine comments, but bombarded nonetheless, making it a chore to respond to legitimate messages. Moral of the story. Don't waste your time with online dating. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 It is nice to sit back and let the men step up to you. It's one of the good parts of being a woman. But the hard part is sorting through them. Most aren't suitable for one reason or another - way too young, can't write a sentence, half-naked pictures on profile, clearly looking for casual, separated, etc., etc. Having an inbox full of mismatches isn't that much better than no matches. And then when you find one cool, he shows up to the first meet 50 pounds heavier than advertised I just started back up on OLD recently, and am cautiously optimistic. I met my last boyfriend on my second date last time I did OLD, and though he didn't turn out to be the one, he was close. It's just finding that needle in the haystack - same challenge for women and men. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
rdet123 Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 I had my online dating account for about a month and after that it just became a chore to read/respond to the messages. I can now say i'm done with the online stuff and would much rather meet someone in person! I would be curious to see how many responses guys get on there? Is it really that significantly lower? Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 I had my online dating account for about a month and after that it just became a chore to read/respond to the messages. I can now say i'm done with the online stuff and would much rather meet someone in person! I would be curious to see how many responses guys get on there? Is it really that significantly lower? So instead of browsing profiles and looking for some one to say hello to, you would rather just give up? Come on.... And yes, there is a significant difference. Its about the difference between a waterfall and a leaky faucet. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
rdet123 Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 So instead of browsing profiles and looking for some one to say hello to, you would rather just give up? Come on.... And yes, there is a significant difference. Its about the difference between a waterfall and a leaky faucet. You know what's funny, is every guy I did message I either didn't get a response, or the conversation died out after a couple days. From my experience on there whenever I tried to initiate, the guys didn't reciprocate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 same challenge for women and men. But its not. There is no symmetry here. There never has been, since the dawn of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 You know what's funny, is every guy I did message I either didn't get a response, or the conversation died out after a couple days. From my experience on there whenever I tried to initiate, the guys didn't reciprocate. Conversations dying out is to be expected. That's normal. So are the non responses. It doesn't mean quit though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenman77 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Share Posted October 28, 2014 (edited) I had my online dating account for about a month and after that it just became a chore to read/respond to the messages. I can now say i'm done with the online stuff and would much rather meet someone in person! I would be curious to see how many responses guys get on there? Is it really that significantly lower? In my experience, let's say I send 10 messages to 10 different women. From those 10 I receive 2 responses and 3-4 different profile views. The rest are simply ignored. So yes, I would say that it's significantly lower. I am about average when it comes to looks. My guess is that a really attractive male would get more responses but still much lower than most women. Edited October 28, 2014 by greenman77 Link to post Share on other sites
boilingpoint Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 It is nice to sit back and let the men step up to you. It's one of the good parts of being a woman. Finally a girl admits it. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 I had my online dating account for about a month and after that it just became a chore to read/respond to the messages. I can now say i'm done with the online stuff and would much rather meet someone in person! I would be curious to see how many responses guys get on there? Is it really that significantly lower? Let's put it this way... how many messages did you get for every one guy you met up with for a date? 50? 100? More? Us guys are on the wrong end of that equation! It's not uncommon that we would have to send out 50 first contact messages to get a date. It will vary between sites, but your own inbox will tell you how difficult it is for guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 There are a lot of horny guys out there liking and clicking any profile hoping for a hit... If guys spent more time reading a girls profile rather than using cookie cutter emails and just looking at the pictures they may find their reply rate going up. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 But its not. There is no symmetry here. There never has been, since the dawn of time. It's equally hard for men and women to find that one special person who really lights them up, makes them happy, is loyal, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 I do have an OLD question, though. This seems as good a place as any to ask it. This guy messaged me. He seems like a good match in every way - EXCEPT... he's pretty overweight. That's just not sexually attractive to me at all. He followed up a couple of times, and I'm wondering if I should message him back and politely tell him the reason I'm not interested. Because all the dude needs to do is lose weight. If the other info is accurate, he would have no trouble if he got in shape. Of course I risk an angry reply, but whatever, I can block him. Worth mentioning to him, or just ignore? Link to post Share on other sites
boilingpoint Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 I would love to hear about the experience of other girl's on this forum that use OkCupid to see if the results match with them. So go ahead! Tell me about YOUR experience. Is it similar? I've done a fake profile of a good looking guy and a good looking girl. What I've learnt - girls get by far the most messages but to be honest most messages are sooooo lame, so I don't blame them for not replying to most. Also the competition isn't THAT hard if you can come up with something interesting to say. - if you want a good amount of messages as a guy you really need to be a 9 or 10/10 in looks and by that I mean the face. No exaggeration here. None. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenman77 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Share Posted October 28, 2014 It's equally hard for men and women to find that one special person who really lights them up, makes them happy, is loyal, etc. That may be true but it's way harder for guys to get the date that might lead to finding that special person through OLD though. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 There are a lot of horny guys out there liking and clicking any profile hoping for a hit... If guys spent more time reading a girls profile rather than using cookie cutter emails and just looking at the pictures they may find their reply rate going up. Wrong. Maybe that's how it was in the 90s, but it sure as hell isn't like that now. Most profiles are all the same. Generic, repetitive, and common. Talking about something in their profile gets buried under the twenty other messages that are talking about her profile. Aren't you older and married? How would you know how to use OLD in 2014 for the 20 to 30 age bracket? Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 I do have an OLD question, though. This seems as good a place as any to ask it. This guy messaged me. He seems like a good match in every way - EXCEPT... he's pretty overweight. That's just not sexually attractive to me at all. He followed up a couple of times, and I'm wondering if I should message him back and politely tell him the reason I'm not interested. Because all the dude needs to do is lose weight. If the other info is accurate, he would have no trouble if he got in shape. Of course I risk an angry reply, but whatever, I can block him. Worth mentioning to him, or just ignore? Don't do it. He knows. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenman77 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Share Posted October 28, 2014 I do have an OLD question, though. This seems as good a place as any to ask it. This guy messaged me. He seems like a good match in every way - EXCEPT... he's pretty overweight. That's just not sexually attractive to me at all. He followed up a couple of times, and I'm wondering if I should message him back and politely tell him the reason I'm not interested. Because all the dude needs to do is lose weight. If the other info is accurate, he would have no trouble if he got in shape. Of course I risk an angry reply, but whatever, I can block him. Worth mentioning to him, or just ignore? Would you be interested in going out with him if he sets a goal to lose weight? If not then don't bother telling him in my opinion. You'll just tell him something he already knows. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 That may be true but it's way harder for guys to get the date that might lead to finding that special person through OLD though. I agree that it's easier for women to get dates through OLD. But the overall challenge of finding the right person for you, "the needle in a haystack", is still no easier for women than men. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Would you be interested in going out with him if he sets a goal to lose weight? If not then don't bother telling him in my opinion. You'll just tell him something he already knows. Who knows how long it will take him? I could meet someone between now and then. I'm not going to wait for him to hit his goal - that would be a form of pressure. And some people's personalities change quite a lot after they get in shape. He might want to date around in his fit new bod, etc. I just won't reply. Link to post Share on other sites
J21 Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 I'm a guy and I do get a couple of messages on OKC. But about 95%-98% of them, I am not interested in meeting or having a relationship with so I don't even bother replying. It's nothing personal. I even got messaged by a TS once even thought I listed I am straight on my profile. Anyways, the one thing to take away is, if you message someone and they don't respond, don't take it personally. Too many people think are owed or entitled to a response just because you initiated a message, you're not. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 I agree that it's easier for women to get dates through OLD. But the overall challenge of finding the right person for you, "the needle in a haystack", is still no easier for women than men. You say that, but if every perfect match is 1:1, there are more men looking, and the men are trying harder, surely it is by definition easier for women? Link to post Share on other sites
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