g_3491 Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 (edited) So basically I have been seeing this guy a couple times a week for the past 5 months. Usually on a saturday evening and all day sunday.? I guess you could say we were casually dating. He was loving and caring and fun. We became really good friends and when we were together, I felt so happy and respected. He was the first man I was involved with, who made me feel, what we had was not purely sexual but more. When we first met, he explained to me that he had got out of a 6 year relationship last year and that he had a huge party trip with all his friends around america at the end of the year and I kind of gathered just from this, that he probably wasn't looking to commit to anyone, anytime soon. However! I enjoyed him so much as a person, i continued spending time with him, when he had free time. It was kind of the perfect gig for him, he got the benefits of having a girl there, that he really liked and enjoyed, but didn't have to commit to. It was all on his terms. What started in the beginning as happiness and fun, turned into anxious feelings more often then I would of liked. I was unhappy with how little I was still seeing him after 5 months. I couldn't work out if once to twice a week was enough, when he literally only lived around the corner. I ended up explaining this to him one sunday, and he wrote me this big, wonderful message about how he understood where I was coming from but he was in abit of a weird spot in his life where he just needed to be able do his own thing for abit and not be in anything serious after being in a relationship for 6 years... then he went on to say, that in saying all that, I am the first girl he has seen since he has been single that he has truly felt for and that he really did like me alot but he understood that I needed to do whatever i needed to do. I ended things, saying that I totally understood where he was coming from, but I needed to respect myself and get my feelings for him back in check. I then ended the coversation with a little personal joke and an X. I haven't heard from him, and I didn't expect to, with the way I closed the conversation... But I have regret still? Should I have just waited till he fell even harder for me? I was so happy with him. It's only been a week since I ended it but already I have so many questions. Will he call? Are we friends? Should I wait a few months down the track when he is back from his trip and rekindle? Should I forget about him altogether? Edited October 29, 2014 by g_3491 Link to post Share on other sites
CT98 Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 It sounds to me that you made the right choice. You said you felt anxious; love shouldn't make you feel like that. He has said that he wasn't looking for commitment and you were and I feel this sort of situation will only ever end in tears. You're obviously gutted because you really like him, but he's not there for you to be with; he's unavailable. So all you can do is suck it up and try to move on. I've been in a situation before with a girl who wasn't sure what she wanted, and couldn't fully commit to me. It made me feel exactly how you did, and I will never put myself in that position again - it was terrible. Maybe he will come back from his trip and make contact, but who knows, you may have found someone else by then. I do feel like the ball is in his court though; he knows exactly how you feel. Best of luck to you in moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 g_3491, I think you know the answer to this, don't you? Link to post Share on other sites
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